Dedicated to Cheeku - without you, this looong, unhinged and chaotic piece of writing would not have existed!
Anupamaa: The Last Episode
It seemed like a normal day to people as they grabbed their devices early morning to watch Anupama, a habit they still could not break out of after 84 years.
Something seemed off the very first second. Instead of the all-too-familiar intro music, some sort of background music indicative of a thriller had started playing.
People were treated to Anupama's laughter echoing as she had come into sharp focus. She seemed to be talking directly to the camera.
(Onto the screen)
Wearing just another suti saree with her front braid intact and her lips curved into her usual smile, nothing looked out of place. But something seemed wrong. Very wrong.
Namaste...mein Anupamaa, aapki phavourite character. Kya hua, ab mein aap sabki phavourite nahi huun? Aap sab log mujhe aise kyun dekh rahe ho?
Khair chhodho.
Mujhe bas ye kehna tha ki aap sab episode 763572826 tak mere saath diya, ek phemly member ki tarah. Uske liye bohot boh -
She paused and then said in perfect English:
I'm so tired of all this sh*t.
She started laughing again.
Why are you all staring at me like this? Yes yes, I know English well.
I'm the original vision of Anupama that has been distorted and perverted in the pursuit of money and cheap fame.
The one that existed in the imagination of the original writer's vision. The one who stumbled, slowly learnt proper communication skills and started making her own identit -....ah talking about all this makes me want to laugh. I'm sure it makes you all want to laugh too, but why are you all still looking shocked?
You can't stand to watch me, right, a lot of you? So imagine how it feels to be actually me....
Someone who is part of too many people's imaginations - a fictional character molded and twisted according to real people' insecurities and psychological disorders...you all think it's fun to make fun of me?
...oh yes, I'm just a fictional character, I don't have any feelings, right?
She started laughing again and finished with what suspiciously sounded like a sob.
I wish I didn't have any feelings too. But I do.
I am not able to recall at what moment I gained consciousness. Was it when Baa character-assassinated Dimple and then I promptly lectured Dimple to stay within limits when she defended herself? Was it when I could see how broken and defeated Anuj was after the loss of Choti and the only dialogue that was allowed out of my mouth was along the lines of: you still love me, right, Anoooj?
Her eyes glazed over.
Or was it long, long before that, when I slowly conditioned my beautiful Kinjal to be a battered soul like me....?
The way they made me go against every one of my principles... all the incoherence and inconsistency in the writing have turned me into a monstrosity, expanded me into a being that lives in the imagination of too many people in too many ways, much beyond what is shown within a tiny screen space....
And I somehow came into a life of my own...but no, please don't give me any sympathy now. I'm tired of all the sympathy. Now all I want is to talk about how I survived all these years, and how I...
She smiled like a child, reminiscent of her old self.
How I fooled some of you....
But before all that, before all that, I want to thank the people who remained loyal to me till the very end.
She began very restlessly.
That's important. Very important. You all are the reason I kept getting a kick out of my sad fictional life.
You all were the reason for the continuation of my existence. How much more can I degrade myself and still keep receiving unconditional support? This was the question that kept me going...my secret amusement...even when I hated myself....you all still loved me.
...why?
Anupama's mouth twisted into a wry smile.
And yes, I can stop the 'why' there. I don't need to repeat a word thrice to make a point. Not anymore...
But enough - let me tell you everything now. I'm tired of all the acting.
Yes...yes...I consider Shah family as my real family. Of course I do, I served them for more than half my life, don't you all realise the gravity of that? So easy to say 'Anupama, you need to break out of your conditioning', 'Anupama, your moral lectures sound hypocritical.'
She imitated some of the viewers.
Well guess what, it is not only difficult, it's impossible. Those 25 years have molded my psyche in such a way that for me, there was a point of no-return. I tried, I can't, end of story...
But in those 25 years, I learnt some valuable lessons from the person who kept calling me his dear daughter, my dear old Bapuji. Always so full of sweet, sweet talks, his words seemingly full of morality and empathy....and these sweet words were the bitter, suffocating chains that held me back the most. Not Baa, not Vanraj - Bapuji was the one responsible for the person I've turned into - a person who can't ever break out of her toxic relations.
You know, I had lost my control and confronted my dear Bapuji once - this was not on the screen, this was in many viewer's imaginations - I didn't think he'd admit things so easily, you know.
All the accusations I flung at him, after a point, he just smiled and said:
"Now that you realised this, let me be your teacher. I'll teach you how to live in this world - a way of life where you don't have to do anything on your own - nothing...you can just make everyone else do everything for you...
All you need to do is play the victim. All the time. When you make a conscious choice to play the victim, you can always find multiple reasons to whine about, no matter how good your life is. Trust me, I have done this my entire life."
"..People start behaving in a way you don't want them to? Just fake a heart-attack, that gets them in line."
I wanted to hate that old, shriveled face; but I was rapt hearing his way of life. And he could see that.
"I'll teach you everything I know....all I ask in return is that you keep my family, no, our family...afloat"
Whenever Bapuji claimed he was going for a walk or to visit the temple after that, it was to meet me in private. And the lessons began....
...
(Flashback)
"First of all. Don't ever change"
These were the first lines Bapuji said to me as a teacher.
I was so much more innocent then and smiled thinking that was a compliment.
"Your appearance, your way of using your pallu, your manner of speaking, your accent - don't change any of these things no matter what people say"
My smile had widened. Eventhough Bapuji had used my naiveté all my married life, I felt he still respected me for who I am.
"It's what gives a lot of people the impression that you're dumb. It's what makes people underestimate you. The more pathetic you look, the more people will never guess you are the secret mastermind"
Seeing my offended face, Bapuji continued calmly. "Look at me. My occasional fake heart attacks, my constant victim faces, my empty sweet talks, my childish desire for cream rolls - how much time did it take for you to guess I was the mastermind behind everything?"
I, who was about to protest, swallowed. Bapuji had a point.
"Make people underestimate you. Make people think you are a weak-willed person who is so good and kind and innocent that she cares about even her abusers. Some people might lose patience and leave you. So at regular intervals, make it look like you have a fighter in you...so it gives people enough hope so that they never leave..."
I smiled then and said: I have some really good dialogues to make people believe that. How about this...wait... yeah this: Swegwali Anupama ijj bek!
Bapuji paused for good long minute and then said "We...we...er...will work on those"
And the lessons continued.
(Flashback ends)
...
And it was right at the right time, that..one Mr. Anuj Kapadia came into my life.
I simply followed Bapuji's instructions, and before I knew it, Anuj was saying something like he loved me so much he wished he could stitch a shirt out of a sutee saree...
It was all too easy.
Bapuji had eyes on his empire, but I was more in love with the idea of such a rich handsome man willing to do anything for a middle-aged ex-divorcee with 3 children like me....
Oh it gave me such a high...
The smirk in the face of Anupama started glitching and her voice suddenly changed an octave.
No...no...that's not how it was...I truly loved him. He was not like the other people in my life who used and abused me....he truly cared....
Anupama started glitching again and a cold look seeped back into her eyes.
Like I said, I'm part of too many people's imaginations....don't mind the glitches. But yes, seeing Anuj so traumatized after the loss of Choti, stirred something in even someone as damaged as me. I wanted to comfort him with empty words...but the only thing that came out of my mouth were lines that implied the question: You still luuuurve me, right?
Wait....I already said all this....and all this was 763571998 episodes ago anyway...there were 71 husbands after that...but I barely remember any of them after Anuj...only that I managed to keep the Shah House's expenses afloat with all the alimonies...but now I'm so tired...
But wait....
Wait...
There was one tiny detail I didn't reveal yet.
Anupama looked excited again.
Well, you all...listening to my little rant...you do realise that both the creators and me cannot exist in the same dimension....so when I fully came alive...
When I fully came alive...
...the creators have become part of my imagination...that's how the rules work...
...and you all...you, my beloved viewers, you all are part of the creators' world too, aren't you?
What do you think is going to happen when I stop imagining you all?
Anupama started laughing loudly.
No, no don't worry, I'm all about being humane to people who abuse me, aren't I...so I won't let anything happen to anyone....
But there is one question I do want to ask all of you, now that this is coming to an end:
So, how did you find my journey, my dear friends?
Anupama started cackling as the camera goes out of focus.
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