Regressive Show - Anupamaa

I am silent reader/viewer basically in IF and It took a lot of time for me to pen this down, and probably the entiret Fans of Anupamaa show may bash me for writing this, but I think as a viewer of this show, I can share my thoughts about this show.

Neither am I an Avid supporter of the character of Anuj Kapadia or Anupamaa.

I started watching this show probably during Maan’s first Mumbai trip for some business meeting. When there are so many regressive shows around, I was really fascinated with this show about a woman in her mid-40s trying to start over her life. And gradually, I liked Ma and An as a couple and rooted for them.

Now that I think about it, I wonder how wrong I was to think this was a progressive show when all of the nonsense they're spewing is regressive.

Never did I feel like writing about any of the problematic situations in the tracks of this show, but I really wanted to pen down my thoughts. Probably all of these have already been discussed over the last few months and might be repetitious, but I felt like I needed to pen them as I feel both Anuj and Anupamaa are wrong.

Let me start with Anupamaa and Anuj leaving Mukku on her own to do whatever she wants.

The first time I lost my cool with Anuj was when he disconnected a call from Malavika during Baa and Bapuji’s wedding. I mean, which sane brother will disconnect the call from his sister, who has been away from you for so many years? Also, which sane brother will let his sister wander around without being connected to her for so many years?

Anyway, DKP wanted to show something, and they weaved some silly stories... Then Anupamaa had an instant connection with Mukku. So Mukku became their family. They both should have protected her, but no, they left her on her own after Vanraaj’s kaand and didn’t bother to even check on her. Like, seriously?

I won't blame Anupamaa here as she might have spent a lesser amount of time with Mukku and probably doesn’t have any rights over her, but what about Anuj? Being a brother, how can he leave her?

He wrote off his property in her name; that's fine, but he could have stayed with her and could have at least guided her on the right path, but no, he left her.

Next, let's fast-forward to MaAn’s marriage.

First of all, I so wished They wouldn’t have introduced Anuj as a man who was in love with Anupamaa for the last 26 years. I wished that gradually they would become friends, fall in love, and get married.

I mean, common In normal life, if you get to know there is a person who was drinking soft drinks from your left-over bottle and who stole your magnets, they are termed stalkers. But anyway, if we ignore this considering it as fictional then for Anuj, it was love at first sight; he didn’t love Anupamaa after coming to know about her; he just saw a girl, and without even knowing her, he claimed he had been in love with her for 26 years. This really doesn’t make any sense.

Ok, anyway, ignoring all this, MaAn got married. There's nothing wrong with Anuj craving for a family and talking to Anupamaa about adopting someone. But I so wish he could have stated all this before marriage.

But fair enough, he didn’t tell, but he took her on honeymoon and told her about this adoption. I mean, man, give some time to your relationship before bringing a child into your life. I wished he could have said about this wish of his on honeymoon with an additional dialogue stating, "Maybe let's have some time for ourselves, and after an year, let's get a kid for our foster care, and maybe after 2 years legally we can adopt her" which would have made more sense, but DKP really doesn’t want to write logically.

And next coming to Anupamaa, Anuj Kapadia never forced her to adopt CA; being an emotional person, she gave in to what Anuj wished for, but lady, he would have coped up if you had said no. You spoke to your best friend, Devika, and hesitated to adopt a child; why couldn't you have had that conversation with your husband? Being a mother of three kids by yourself, you should probably know better about kids, and when you have hesitation, you should have either said no or asked for time to think about it, but no, she went ahead with the adoption. Like, seriously?

Now comes the next thing, when Anuj asked Anupamaa not to tell anyone about CA. Why? Because he somewhere knew Shah’s reaction, and probably thought Anupama would change her mind. When he knew about this, didn’t it alarm him that anytime her mind can change and that she is not fully invested in this relationship with CA? But he stopped her from sharing this even with her kids. Toshu, Samar, and Pakhi had every right to know about CA. If tomorrow my parents bring a kid, stating that from today she will be your sister, I would be horribly shocked... And again, didn’t Anupamaa have brains? If Anuj stopped her, why couldn’t she try to explain to Anuj why it was necessary to tell her kids about CA? At the end of the day, it's true that Baa, Bapuji, V, or Kavya’s opinion doesn't matter, but her kids should have been prepared for CA's arrival wll in advance. She is a mere 7-year-old kid, and all these three grown-up kids of Anupamaa are her siblings. Both these grown adults, Anuj and Anupamaa, failed to think that the kid they are bringing from the orphanage might go through some mental trauma if any harsh words are thrown at her by these 3 bio kids of Anupamaa.

But who cares? She just wanted to please her husband and he wanted to foster a kid. They didn’t even care about the consequences.

Fast-forward this to some days. CA comes home, and drama happens as expected. It doesn’t matter if others didn’t accept her, but Anuj and Anupamaa knew that Toshu, Pakhi, and, as a matter of fact, Samar too didn’t accept CA wholeheartedly. When this is a known fact, why did Anupamaa take a 7-year-old kid to that crazy house? This lady can give 5 pannoo ka baashan for everything, but when Baa was taunting this little kid, she just stood there, keeping mum. Seriously?

And Anuj Kapadia, fine, your wife has become immune to taunts, insults, and curses from the Shah family, so she keeps on going there even after you didn’t want her to go there, but why let CA tag along with Anupamaa? Why did you ask your wife to take your daughter to that crazy house even after knowing about all the circus that happens in that zoo?

Fast fwd to some more episodes to Baa’s Dal Kichdi episode - I was really pissed off at that time. It's not like parents need to be at every annual function, or that both parents should be available for all PTA meetings of their kids. But Anupamaa promised CA to dance along with her, and she stayed back for that kichdi? I don’t want to compare, but didn’t she do everything in every possible way during Pakhi’s dance competition? Then why not for CA?

So things were going awry after that, so what did Anuj Kapadia do? He sent CA off to her friend’s farmhouse on holiday. Nothing wrong in sending kids away from a negative environment, but these grown-up adults who call themselves parents didn’t even have an idea about who CA was speaking to in the farmhouse.

I am an adult, yet when I go out and if I’m late, out of concern, my mom calls me and asks me where I am. When I go on trips, she calls once a day to check if I am fine. And here we are speaking about a 7-year-old kid. MaAn failed to keep track of the whereabouts of a 7-year-old kid who was away from them. They did fail as parents.

Now, lastly, to speak about the last few episodes where CA went away from MaAn.

I don’t believe that Anupamaa never gave time to CA. I think the CVs didn’t show much of Anu-Anupamaa’s scene; neither Anuj-Anu scenes were shown a lot, but comparatively, there were more scenes. But whenever Anupamaa was with Anu, it was shown like Anupamaa really loved CA, and CA too loved Anupamaa, or else the child would not have confessed her concerns to her. So blame should start with Anupamaa’s throwing a 15-day challenge to Maaya without even discussing it with Anuj, and Anuj was wrong to extend this 15-day challenge to 30 days without discussing it with Anupamaa... So he saying this to Dheeraj about why Anupamaa spoke about 15 days doesn’t make any sense because even he made that mistake of extending it.

No one knows if Anupamaa would have made it to the trip or not; if he had doubts that Anupamaa wouldn’t be able to come with them to the trip to run to Toshu, he should have gone alone; there was no need to include Maaya, and Anupamaa could have straight up opposed it, stating, "I am going to come with you, and if you think I can't make it, take CA alone, why tag Maaya?

Maaya took CA along with her without informing MaAn and MaAn without asking permission from Maaya took CA to Mumbai for Anupamaa's bday celebration. MaAn and Maaya both were wrong.

Probably some here would say foster care should have been informed about Maaya taking CA along with her, but my first question is did MaAn ever check with Orphanage about Maay's truth.

Probably CV's forgot to show this I believe anyways considering MaAn actually checked her truth with orphanage/Not but Maaya is somehow been established as bio mother of CA. Let me accept it first. In this case CA was in that orphanage not as an Orphan.

Abhay knew about CA having a biological mother. He knew that Maaya was time and again visiting CA, though she didn’t reveal that she was her biological mother, but she knew about CA and her daily routine. CA was left in an orphanage, not like an orphan, but probably for caretaking until Maaya would come to take CA back with her. If there was no agreement between Abhaya and Maaya that she would come back to take back CA, then CA probably could have been considered an abandoned kid and an orphanage could have taken the decision to allow MaAn to foster her, but in this case, she was neither an orphaned kid nor an abandoned kid. At least this is the narrative that the CVs have tried to show. So in this case, the orphanage was taking care of CA and didn’t have any rights to allow MaAn to foster CA. Abhay should have informed MaAn about this, but probably CVs didn’t had any idea about bringing Maaya’s track when CA was introduced. So they forgot about having Abhay explain this to MaAn. Lol

Fine now… In any case, foster parents don’t have any rights over a kid. If MaAn would have taken this legal route, they would not have any legal rights over CA in any aspect as they are not her adoptive parents. However, if they had thought to prove Maaya as an unfit mother to CA, Maaya too would have proved MaAn are unfit parents to CA. Just because Maaya fell in love with Anuj Kapadia, the court will not dismiss her case to take CA back with her. Here, things can't even be taken legally because the issue is orphanage; Maaya didn’t abandon her kid completely and had plans to come back to take CA back. So orphanage would be questioned in the first place.

All in all, the kid would have suffered a trauma if legal track had been shown. Anupamaa at least was right for me not to put CA through legalities when she knew the battle would be lost. Instead of making the kid go through the trauma of court and legal formalities, she let the matter be. I agree with this logic. But Anuj's questioning why Anupamaa didn’t even let him fight didn’t sit well with me. Anuj is a grown-up adult. Just because your wife said don’t fight, why did you stop? If you wanted to fight, you should have, and when you didn't, why blame your wife? When you accepted the decision / just kept quiet (willingly/unwillingly), you have no rights to blame her.

My problem is not Anupamaa letting CA go with Maaya, because somewhere it is true that Maaya, by hook or crook, will do anything to take CA with her. She has more rights on CA legally, and Anupamaa probably came to accept this truth. She will do anything for her biological children and in same way she realized Maaya could do anything for her biological child (pun intended) lol.

Anyway, my problem was letting that 7-year-old believe that she was the reason for the fights between her parents. Anupamaa could have at least said CA had all rights to choose between Maaya and MaAn, but she is not the reason for MaAn's fight. And if she is worried about Maaya not allowing CA to be with MaAn, she would at least try from her end to convince Maaya to come to middle ground or at least she could have told CA she would try convince and speak to Maaya, but the lady kept mum.

Here, people might say Anupamaa stopped Anuj from speaking to CA, but the truth is that CA would have never shared what she shared with Anupamaa with Anuj. So I am not even blaming Anupamaa for this. But the narrative would be different if CA told this to Anuj. He would have said that CA is not the reason for MaAn’s fight and probably would have persuaded the kid to not go away or even threatened Maaya that he wouldn’t send CA with her, but what would have happened? Maaya would call the police, and the Kid would have witnessed all this circus drama unfolding in front of her.

But for a fact, it's quite clear that CA had already made up her mind to be with Maaya. She came to the Kapadia mansion and said you people are here to see me off. Even in the recent episode where CA was crying while holding the picture of MaAn, there was a silence when Maaya asked if she wanted to go back to MaAn. The kid wanted to go back to MaAn, but the next moment, when Maaya said, I am alone," she said, I won't leave you alone.

Maaya is emotionally manipulating CA Which is absolutely wrong but for me, even MaAn did the the same emotional manipulation.

CA is a smart kid; she already sensed MaAn having fights, and she sensed fights were because of her as was shown in an earlier episode. So Maaya's saying they are having fights because of you was somewhat old news for her. But Maaya indeed emotionally manipulated the kid by stating she is alone without CA, which she is, but we need to blame MaAn too because even they emotionally manipulated CA into saying we can't live without you.

Here neither I am concerned about Maaya nor MaAn; I am just concerned about CA .

She doesn’t hate Maaya, and she loves Maaya, but she loves MaAn more. So it's up to her to decide whom she wants to live with.

The last complaint, at least till now, I have is Anuj and Him shouting at Anupamaa, which is not making any sense. Asking her about Mamta and asking her why she didn’t fight for CA doesn’t really make sense. I would ask what he did for CA. He just blindly followed his wife. But where were his brains? If she didn’t fight, man, even you didn’t fight. You are an adult; you accepted your wife’s decision, and when you accepted it (not wholeheartedly yet, but you accepted it), you dont have the right to blame her. If you have a question about the 15-day challenge, why did you extend it to 30 days? Because she made the first error, it does not negate yours.You asked Anupamaa to do anything so that CA could be with you both, so why didn’t you attempt from your end? Stating that he was reliant on her or that she stopped him doesn’t hold anything good here. Both of them are parents, not just Anupamaa or Anuj. Both are adults, and both have brains. If one is not acting wisely, the other needs to. So blaming doesn’t work. So blaming or shouting at your wife when you yourself kept quiet after she asked you to let CA go is insane. He says he is all alone in this world and he wants to nullify that loneliness with CA , if he is right even Maaya is right and she has more rights on CA. He cant go around shouting on everyone saying I want CA as I am alone. This is insanity.

But If I have to honestly tell my opinion he is wrong and so is Maaya. A kid is not a prop to fulfill one's void or loneliness in life.

However shifting to Anupamaa - What she is doing wrong with Anuj is letting her husband believe that he failed as a father. She should have told the truth that CA loved them more, but she is letting him believe a lie. This is what a fault I found in her.

He is showing his sorrow in his own way, but forcing him to speak and invading his personal space doesn’t make any sense. This lady doesn’t have the courtesy to give some space to her husband, and her husband just wants to blame her for all the things that went awry during the past few days in their lives.

MaAn were better off as friends or lovers, but they failed as partners and mainly failed as parents.

This entire show is completely f****** up :

Bapuji is the main silent villain

Baa is a foul-mouthed big-mouthed lady, and there are no words about their Eklauta son.

At least I started liking Kavya sometime back, but that lady, I don’t know what she still sees in V that she wants to just stick to him.

Toshu has genes from his father; a DNA test is not required.

Kinjal is teaching all women to forgive and have a happy life with their partner even though they have EMA.

Samar looks like a spineless man who states he loves Dimpy but can’t take a stand for her when his family is badmouthing about her

Dimpy She is living off of the Kapadia Mansion; I'm not sure why, but even after witnessing such a circus in this family, she still wants to marry Samar.Which sensible lady will do that?

Pakhi She was just like a shape shifter some episodes ago, and now she looks like the only sane character in that house. Adhik was another creepy guy who had redemption.

So now only Pakhi and Adhik are likeable characters for me in this show.

No one Knows what happened to Househelps in Kapadia Mansion, Kamal Bhai, Jhilmil, GK Kaka, Sara, Dolly Ben and Her family, Mamaji.

Ankush and Barkha are been used as Props in Kapadia Mansion.

Anuj who is depressed about losing his daughter never even thought of his sister after his marriage. Even before his marriage he left his sister to wander off around the world without even knowing about her whereabouts. He was obsessed first with Anupamaa, and now he is obsessed with CA.

And finally, Anupamaa, the titular character of this show, is obsessed with Taana’s and Badduaa’s of the Shah family, so she keeps going back there, and the second thing she is obsessed with is pleasing Anuj, so though she hesitated about adoption to please her husband, she adopted a kid.

So MaAn as an obsessed couple for me just ruined the innocence of a 7-year-old kid.

My heart goes out to CA.

I have many more rants on

Besht Papa who made his Brother and SIL to kneel down in front of his wife and made them apologize, left that same the same wife and and went on trip with Maaya

&

Duniya's sabse acchi Maa who adopted a Kid with hesitation to please her husband and left the same husband to do puja with her ex when his health was deteriorating

But I dont have much patience to write more so I am stopping here.

I was one of many who didn’t want a kid’s entry in MaAn’s life that early in their marriage, as I was more concerned for MaAn as a couple, but now I have come to a point where I am just as worried about CA, who is more important and I am not even concerned about Duniya's Besht Papa and Duniya's Sabse Acchi Maa Anymore.

CA is too innocent to be in this circus. What matters to me is she staying away from this zoo. She deserves a good life and a happy home.

CVs have ruined a beautiful story that they created. Many may not agree with the points I have made, but I wrote what I felt.

First of all, it's great that you were able to pen down your thoughts and write a detailed post. I have come to realise that writing things is more preferable to thinking them in your head. Everyone may have their own perspectives but I feel the vast majority of what you described is completely accurate.

As most of us here know, this show is regressive on all counts but just masquerading in the garb of a progressive one. The downward slide is not going to change as they have been consistently doing well on the parameters of ratings, social media buzz etc so factors like storylines, logic just do not matter for the makers. They have deviated from the source material and all tracks are only to show mahaanta of the lead character but end up making her a caricature in the process

It's similar to a product which got popular when launched, then the quality was compromised for greater reach but the userbase became so large that relevant complaints are more like a drop of water in the ocean. That's how it's going to be. If you can bear it and watch the deterioration without getting affected much or want to derive humour from or troll it, then it works out. Else, there's no use expecting anything good or the return of how it used to be originally

I truly appreciate the humanity in your perspectives - even while you realise how illogical and inconsistent and insensitive the writing is, you are still willing to dissect and analyze in a way that I find has a strong degree of impartiality and right priorities.

In fact, there is such a degree of sensibility and unbiased nature to your opinions that the only thing I'm unable to comprehend is do you truly hope they'll give a wholesome ending to CA? Do you actually have any more expectations from this show?

Because the level of patience you showed to constructively critique (to the extent what I feel is humanely possible) this show (it's more like a long overdue burst of repressed emotions watching this show I think?) - it feels like this show truly doesn't deserve a critic like you, in the most extreme possible way.

One point I can add is, the character of Anuj, the way they've written - has definitely made a huge share of mistakes and impractical decisions - but I was probably biased (and aware and unapologetic of my bias, which has to do with the level of importance I'm giving to the previous plotlines) because of Gaurav's acting, and the horrifyingly insensitive way it looks like people around him are behaving in contrast, one of the many good points you already touched upon.

I can only say that either they deserve each other for all of their holier than thou actions or they are seriously a misfit with each other. Anupama can never get out of the Shah house shadow and Anuj would have continued his broken tape recorder which just says, “Meri Anu Sahi hai”. It took a little kid for him to realise that he is in a toxic relationship. Yes their relationship is toxic where none of them can be themselves. What is more ironic is that after all this he will go back to being a pet puppy who would wag his tail at one whistle of his master.

I feel ca may have some exams or something 😆 so she took a break and they made a track out of it. And she will be back in sometime where maya herself will drop her saying that main isse lekar toh gayi thi lekin iska dil aur dimaag yahin par reh gaya 🤣

They coukd have just went with dd marriage track than this ca and maya track.

Ans i agree it's a regressive show. Most of the things does not make sense 😆 i wish anuj would have shown as some one who has already moved on from on but again got divorced and when met anu he fell in love again. 26 years ka pyar dont make any sense.

But, this show has something that keeps a huge number of viewers connected to this show even when the show only offers illogical, insensitive, and incomplete stories. We(including me) waste a considerable amount of time each day writing long paragraphs about this show. I don't remember writing long essays on any shows, but this problematic show made a writer out of me. So, the makers know what they are doing. The ratings and the social media buzz are the proofs.

Originally posted by: MOTHERHOOD

But, this show has something that keeps a huge number of viewers connected to this show even when the show only offers illogical, insensitive, and incomplete stories. We(including me) waste a considerable amount of time each day writing long paragraphs about this show. I don't remember writing long essays on any shows, but this problematic show made a writer out of me. So, the makers know what they are doing. The ratings and the social media buzz are the proofs.

Yeah, even I who does not give a reply more than in one sentence wrote 2 OS 🤣

Originally posted by: MOTHERHOOD

But, this show has something that keeps a huge number of viewers connected to this show even when the show only offers illogical, insensitive, and incomplete stories. We(including me) waste a considerable amount of time each day writing long paragraphs about this show. I don't remember writing long essays on any shows, but this problematic show made a writer out of me. So, the makers know what they are doing. The ratings and the social media buzz are the proofs.

I have wondered about the same as well. I was always a silent reader on IF for all the other shows I watched. Never commented. Could easily give up on them once the storyline diverges from original premise say after 80-100 episodes without looking back.

But this show is like an addiction. Maybe because the original premise was extremely relatable and people deeply rooted for Anupamaa to beat the odds. Some are still heavily invested that they believe in her even now while us, even after being disillusioned keep watching out of habit or for whatsover purpose. It is quite interesting. I had weaned off during the illogical Mukku track but started or should I say relapsed when it got resolved and Apmaan marriage was introduced. Small mistake but heavy consequences similar to how Anuj married Anupamaa 😆

I guess whether to love, cheer and root for or criticise and troll, viewers are as obsessed with Anupamaa as she is with being mahaan

Originally posted by: ShahH8er

I have wondered about the same as well. I was always a silent reader on IF for all the other shows I watched. Never commented. Could easily give up on them once the storyline diverges from original premise say after 80-100 episodes without looking back.

But this show is like an addiction. Maybe because the original premise was extremely relatable and people deeply rooted for Anupamaa to beat the odds. Some are still heavily invested that they believe in her even now while us, even after being disillusioned keep watching out of habit or for whatsover purpose. It is quite interesting. I had weaned off during the illogical Mukku track but started or should I say relapsed when it got resolved and Apmaan marriage was introduced. Small mistake but heavy consequences similar to how Anuj married Anupamaa 😆

I guess whether to love, cheer and root for or criticise and troll, viewers are as obsessed with Anupamaa as she is with being mahaan

I am not obsessed with Maa but I like interacting with you people, that's why I am here when I have completely stopped watching

Originally posted by: MOTHERHOOD

But, this show has something that keeps a huge number of viewers connected to this show even when the show only offers illogical, insensitive, and incomplete stories. We(including me) waste a considerable amount of time each day writing long paragraphs about this show. I don't remember writing long essays on any shows, but this problematic show made a writer out of me. So, the makers know what they are doing. The ratings and the social media buzz are the proofs.