MBK Dharmakshetra Nano Drama discussion - Page 3

Entry 8

In the forest.

Arjun: Are you certain this is the right path?

Bhima: Definitely.

Nakul : Nope, we're definitely lost.

Yudhishthir: I trust Bhima.

Sahdev : You think he knows where we're heading?

Yudhishthir: I wouldn't go that far.

Nakul : We aren't, we've circled this tree thrice.

Fitting five characters' dialogue within the word limit is an accomplishment. I would have liked this scene better if it had brought out the characters as contrasting individuals, or included something unique to Mahābhārata. On the other hand, a situation that could happen to anyone on a hiking trail or scouting expedition is relatable.

I haven't read the epic in it's entirety and writing true to canon is not my forte😆 I always write Alternate Universe fictions. So, I chose something that could totally happen, a funny banter between the siblings.

Glad you found it relatable 👍🏼

My entries were solely posted because Sima wanted me to write and with my creative juices running dry.. I looked up some incorrect quotes and adjusted them to fit the Bros 😆

Entry 12

Bhima was blessed by Nagas, and he tormented the Kauravas in mischief. Arjun enjoyed the view from atop a tree.

Yudhishthir: Stop, Bhimsena! You've gone insane with power, this isn't you!

Bhima: Of course, I have. Have you ever tried going insane without power? It's bland and boring.

Cute punch line! I think this one is a bit wordy at the beginning. Could the same information be expressed in dialogue to make it more dramatic?

Yes but the word crunch and time crunch didn't make it possible. I wrote the 3 entries in about an hour or less.

Entry 23

During a hunt.

Arjun: Don't worry, I've got a few arrows up my sleeve.

Nakul: You mean knives?

Arjun, pulling arrows from his sleeves: No.

Sahdev: Do you accept constructive criticism?

Bhima, without realising question wasn't for him: Only juicy fruits.

The humour in this dialogue comes from non sequiturs, but there should still be underlying logic to the flow of images. Sleeves in Mahābhārata? Maybe they were hunting in Japan. Hunting wasn't close-range, so why does Nakula expect knives instead of arrows?

Ever heard of throwing knives? This was that 😆 sleeves are a sort of metaphor, whatever clothes they were wearing, or not. He could have the arrows hidden in their hair too... They're using some sort of nano weapons like in Wakanda 🤣 all hail Shuri!

Here's some entries that I didn't send cuz they're far off from the canon. But enjoy them. (Generated from an incorrect quotes generator)

Arjun: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives

Krishna: I wake up at 4:30 AM

Arjun:

Arjun: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives

Arjun: Am I in trouble?

Krishna: Take a guess.

Arjun: No?

Krishna: Take another guess.

Arjun: It’s dark in here

Krishna: Don’t worry dude I got this

Arjun, in a beach shirt: So sue me, it's October and I'd like to be on Island Time for a day!

Krishna: I have Spotify open right now on my computer, do you want me to blast you? Do you want me to put you on blast? Cuz I've got your history right here on the sidebar,

Krishna: Take it Back by Jimmy Buffet, Nautical Wheelers by Jimmy Buffet, Jolly Mon Sing by Jimmy Buffet, Steamer by Jimmy Buffet, trEAT HER LIKE A LADY BY JIMMY BUFFET, MAÑANA BY JIMMY BUFFET, WHEN SALOME PLAYS THE DRUMS BY JAMES BUFFET, HAVANA DAYDREAMIN BY JIMMY BUFFET- What the F*CK happened to you?!

Arjun, laughing: I HAD A CASE OF THE MONDAYS

Krishna: ARE YOU HAUNTED?! ARE YOU F*CKING POSSESSED?!

Krishna: YOU USED TO BE MY FRIEND

Arjun, cry-laughing: ᴵ ᴴᴬᴰ ᴬ ᶜᴬˢᴱ ᴼᶠ ᵀᴴᴱ ᴹᴼᴺᴰᴬʸˢ

Arjun: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.

Krishna: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.

Arjun: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.

Arjun: Fitness tip: never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why not keep going? Why not 9? Why not 10? Strive for greatness.

Bhima: Next time you’re working out do 15 push ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat a whole cake instead of just a slice. Burn your ex’s house down. You can do it. I believe in you.

Nakul : There were so many mixed messages in that I can’t-

Arjun: Why are you on the floor?

Bhima: I'm depressed.

Bhima: Also I was stabbed, can you get Nakul , please.

Arjun: We need to get through this locked door. Yudhishthir, give me your spear.

Yudhishthir: Here.

Arjun, pocketing it: Thanks. Bhima, kick down the door.

Yudhishthir: Bhima, keep an eye on Nakul today. They're going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.

Bhima: Sure, I’d love to see Nakul get punched.

Arjun: Try again.

Bhima, sighing: I will stop Nakul from getting punched.

Yudhishthir staring.

Bhima : I will also punch whoever tries to hurt my younger brothers.

Originally posted by: BrhannadaArmour

"BrhannadaArmour" is fine. I don't use my real name on India Forums.

Thanks for your kind words about my Nano Dramas.

Ok sure, I was asking since your UN is a hard one😁. You can call me Anamika which is my forum name only🤭.

Is your subject literature?? I asked as I always saw you analysing everything so deeply..

Originally posted by: DelusionsOfNeha

Entry 8

In the forest.

Arjun: Are you certain this is the right path?

Bhima: Definitely.

Nakul : Nope, we're definitely lost.

Yudhishthir: I trust Bhima.

Sahdev : You think he knows where we're heading?

Yudhishthir: I wouldn't go that far.

Nakul : We aren't, we've circled this tree thrice.

Fitting five characters' dialogue within the word limit is an accomplishment. I would have liked this scene better if it had brought out the characters as contrasting individuals, or included something unique to Mahābhārata. On the other hand, a situation that could happen to anyone on a hiking trail or scouting expedition is relatable.

I haven't read the epic in it's entirety and writing true to canon is not my forte😆 I always write Alternate Universe fictions. So, I chose something that could totally happen, a funny banter between the siblings.

Glad you found it relatable 👍🏼

My entries were solely posted because Sima wanted me to write and with my creative juices running dry.. I looked up some incorrect quotes and adjusted them to fit the Bros 😆

Entry 12

Bhima was blessed by Nagas, and he tormented the Kauravas in mischief. Arjun enjoyed the view from atop a tree.

Yudhishthir: Stop, Bhimsena! You've gone insane with power, this isn't you!

Bhima: Of course, I have. Have you ever tried going insane without power? It's bland and boring.

Cute punch line! I think this one is a bit wordy at the beginning. Could the same information be expressed in dialogue to make it more dramatic?

Yes but the word crunch and time crunch didn't make it possible. I wrote the 3 entries in about an hour or less.

Entry 23

During a hunt.

Arjun: Don't worry, I've got a few arrows up my sleeve.

Nakul: You mean knives?

Arjun, pulling arrows from his sleeves: No.

Sahdev: Do you accept constructive criticism?

Bhima, without realising question wasn't for him: Only juicy fruits.

The humour in this dialogue comes from non sequiturs, but there should still be underlying logic to the flow of images. Sleeves in Mahābhārata? Maybe they were hunting in Japan. Hunting wasn't close-range, so why does Nakula expect knives instead of arrows?

Ever heard of throwing knives? This was that 😆 sleeves are a sort of metaphor, whatever clothes they were wearing, or not. He could have the arrows hidden in their hair too... They're using some sort of nano weapons like in Wakanda 🤣 all hail Shuri!

Here's some entries that I didn't send cuz they're far off from the canon. But enjoy them. (Generated from an incorrect quotes generator)

Arjun: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives

Krishna: I wake up at 4:30 AM

Arjun:

Arjun: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives

Arjun: Am I in trouble?

Krishna: Take a guess.

Arjun: No?

Krishna: Take another guess.

Arjun: It’s dark in here

Krishna: Don’t worry dude I got this

Arjun, in a beach shirt: So sue me, it's October and I'd like to be on Island Time for a day!

Krishna: I have Spotify open right now on my computer, do you want me to blast you? Do you want me to put you on blast? Cuz I've got your history right here on the sidebar,

Krishna: Take it Back by Jimmy Buffet, Nautical Wheelers by Jimmy Buffet, Jolly Mon Sing by Jimmy Buffet, Steamer by Jimmy Buffet, trEAT HER LIKE A LADY BY JIMMY BUFFET, MAÑANA BY JIMMY BUFFET, WHEN SALOME PLAYS THE DRUMS BY JAMES BUFFET, HAVANA DAYDREAMIN BY JIMMY BUFFET- What the F*CK happened to you?!

Arjun, laughing: I HAD A CASE OF THE MONDAYS

Krishna: ARE YOU HAUNTED?! ARE YOU F*CKING POSSESSED?!

Krishna: YOU USED TO BE MY FRIEND

Arjun, cry-laughing: ᴵ ᴴᴬᴰ ᴬ ᶜᴬˢᴱ ᴼᶠ ᵀᴴᴱ ᴹᴼᴺᴰᴬʸˢ

Arjun: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.

Krishna: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.

Arjun: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.

Arjun: Fitness tip: never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why not keep going? Why not 9? Why not 10? Strive for greatness.

Bhima: Next time you’re working out do 15 push ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat a whole cake instead of just a slice. Burn your ex’s house down. You can do it. I believe in you.

Nakul : There were so many mixed messages in that I can’t-

Arjun: Why are you on the floor?

Bhima: I'm depressed.

Bhima: Also I was stabbed, can you get Nakul , please.

Arjun: We need to get through this locked door. Yudhishthir, give me your spear.

Yudhishthir: Here.

Arjun, pocketing it: Thanks. Bhima, kick down the door.

Yudhishthir: Bhima, keep an eye on Nakul today. They're going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.

Bhima: Sure, I’d love to see Nakul get punched.

Arjun: Try again.

Bhima, sighing: I will stop Nakul from getting punched.

Yudhishthir staring.

Bhima : I will also punch whoever tries to hurt my younger brothers.

Neha , you always write so well. Infact everything that I found till now that you write is amazing to read.

Ok modern twists are fun🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Originally posted by: Physics_girl

Neha , you always write so well. Infact everything that I found till now that you write is amazing to read.

Ok modern twists are fun🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

See more here 😆 keep scrolling.. baki sab pages pe yahi hai 😆

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/161827057

Originally posted by: DelusionsOfNeha

My entries were solely posted because Sima wanted me to write and with my creative juices running dry.. I looked up some incorrect quotes and adjusted them to fit the Bros

...

Yes but the word crunch and time crunch didn't make it possible. I wrote the 3 entries in about an hour or less.

...

I didn't write the below entries, they're generated from an incorrect quotes generator. You can google them. We can add the characters names and it gives the randomly generated scenes.

This contest was supposed to be fun, not a source of stress like a school assignment where students resort to plagiarism to turn in something by the deadline. It's disappointing that you took readymade scenes written/generated by someone else and just changed names. A real friend would understand if you said no, you couldn't write anything.

There have been a few writing contests on India Forums where the winning entries didn't match the contest theme at all. I always kept my objections to myself because, even if the judges strayed, the winners shouldn't feel illegitimate. This time, even if the winning entries didn't get my votes, I hope that at least they're the authors' own work.

Originally posted by: DelusionsOfNeha

Here's some entries that I didn't send cuz they're far off from the canon. But enjoy them. (Generated from an incorrect quotes generator)

...

Arjun: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.

Krishna: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.

Arjun: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.

This is eerily similar to what Kṛṣṇa tells Arjuna in canonical Bhagavad-Gītā: āścaryavac c'ainam anyaḥ śṛṇoti. śrutvā'py enaṃ veda na c'aiva kaś cit. dehī nityam avadhyo'yaṃ dehe sarvasya Bhārata ... mam'aiv'āṃśo jīva-loke jīva-bhūtaḥ sanātanaḥ.

Originally posted by: DelusionsOfNeha

Ever heard of throwing knives? This was that sleeves are a sort of metaphor, whatever clothes they were wearing, or not. He could have the arrows hidden in their hair too... They're using some sort of nano weapons like in Wakanda all hail Shuri!

In Mahābhārata, they would have thrown prāsas - similar to darts, and maybe similar to knives.

Originally posted by: Physics_girl

Ok sure, I was asking since your UN is a hard one😁. You can call me Anamika which is my forum name only🤭.

Is your subject literature?? I asked as I always saw you analysing everything so deeply..

Anāmikā means nameless, so it's the perfect pseudonym. Some people are actually named Anāmika/Anāmikā because there is no name that captures the entirety of the divine. Other names that I find funny are Aniketa - homeless and Digambara - unclothed.

My specialization is genome analysis - figuring out stories of how cells of each species organize different macromolecules to get work done. So, my favourite language is DNA and my favourite stories are molecular evolution. I only read and write in human languages for fun.

I published my Nano Dramas as chapters of this book, including the canonical basis of each imaginary scene:

https://www.indiaforums.com/fanfiction/2878

Originally posted by: BrhannadaArmour

Anāmikā means nameless, so it's the perfect pseudonym. Some people are actually named Anāmika/Anāmikā because there is no name that captures the entirety of the divine. Other names that I find funny are Aniketa - homeless and Digambara - unclothed.

My specialization is genome analysis - figuring out stories of how cells of each species organize different macromolecules to get work done. So, my favourite language is DNA and my favourite stories are molecular evolution. I only read and write in human languages for fun.

Oo actually when I refused to reveal my name, I was called by this name exactly due to this reason🤭.

Oo a nice subject. Do you do research??

Originally posted by: BrhannadaArmour

Anāmikā means nameless, so it's the perfect pseudonym. Some people are actually named Anāmika/Anāmikā because there is no name that captures the entirety of the divine. Other names that I find funny are Aniketa - homeless and Digambara - unclothed.

My specialization is genome analysis - figuring out stories of how cells of each species organize different macromolecules to get work done. So, my favourite language is DNA and my favourite stories are molecular evolution. I only read and write in human languages for fun.

I recently discovered you are a guy. I used to interact with you thinking you are a girl.😆

BTW, your area of specialization is interesting. I read about ancient genome sequencing. I don't understand most of it, but it's interesting to know the origin of people.

Originally posted by: devashree_h

I recently discovered you are a guy. I used to interact with you thinking you are a girl.😆

BTW, your area of specialization is interesting. I read about ancient genome sequencing. I don't understand most of it, but it's interesting to know the origin of people.

I also didn't know😯. I also misunderstood the gender.