How do you deal with it? - Page 4

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DM DT.

I am currently not so upto date with us politicians 😊 but here are few things which i come across here in india.

But just wanted to share my pov on feminism. People say lot things about men and women being equal but as soon as a girl gets 25 people start taunting why she is not yet married. She will not find a guy or she will not be able to give birth etc. I agree may be for giving birth there would be some complications but its her choice decide what she wants. There are plenty of orphans who can adopted if needed.

I still see these things in rural areas irrespective of how forward we try to potray ourselves. For boys nobody even asks anything as they even if guy is 40+ he can marry anyone between 18 to 40. But girls marrying some one younger than a guy is considered as taboo.

Men can flirt with anyone marry anyone from other caste but if girls does that she has to change her religion in the name ladke ka khandhaan mahaan. Why cant they follow both the religion what is that obsession of converting girls in the name of love. When they loved them they did not see girls religion why after marriage they became intolerant towards her religion. Due to this reason girls are still treated as bhoj by many families who just want to marry her off so that they can avoid her getting converted or facing society if something like that happens. Which is inadvertly preventing many young girls from choosing their career as post marriage we agree or not girl's responsibilities and work are higher than men. For men its still the same home but girl has to take lot of responsibilities which will literally drain her and she might not even work post marriage. I will not deny there are some exceptions where men and women share workload equally but its minority.

Girls are expected to sacrifice her career to give birth to take care of child and to raise him. Surrogacy is considered as a sin and if women wants to keep a maid to teach her kid the taunts she will recieve from this so called society is so cringe. The definition of women in this society is solely born to marry, serve and raise and be a sacrificing lamb. I highly respect women who does that but men should understand they women also have desires to become something. Gone those days when ppl used to say if men will succeed that means its the women who worked behind him. Now its time to say if men and women both are succeeding that shows their love for each other.

-I have come across many couples where men don't learn cooking because they think if they learn the responsibilities would come on them.What harm it will make for men to learn cooking will it not help them to save money when wife is ill or she took a break. As these behaviours will force her to stay in the house forever as she thinks about money and his health than taking break and than thinking about her health.

I have come across some couples who share workload too. But its very rare. May be it depends on upbringing.

Its high time men start learning basic skills and supporting their wifes if she wishes to be career oriented and to understand marriage is not about just to give birth to a child it also includes sharing responsibilities and make it less stressfull for wife. If no, Sooner or later all girls will choose to stay single than loosing their freedom, desires and to avoid stress of office work, house work, children's education etc.

I feel so sorry for you that you have to go through such ppl in real life. I hope you will soon get away with this and build your career and shine like 🌟 😊

This is a very serious issue. Unfortunately, no concrete solution exists. When it comes to internet, a lot of people gain courage from the anonymity and use it as a tool to remove their real life frustrations. Be it giving assault threat to female celebrities/female family members of male celebrities, propagation of harmful ideas, harrassing the members that disagree etc.

All this comes from a very basic idea that women are like properties/cattle. They need to be taken care of, have decisions made for them etc. This idea is something that everyone of us has somehow internalized. Have you ever felt too happy if a woman from other caste/religion/nationality marries and adopt your caste/religion/nationality? Felt too bad if a woman from your clan marries and adopts a different caste/ religion/nationality than yours? Yup that's the internalized misogyny. It literally exists in so many forms and stuff like this aren't even counted.

Recently I interviewed at a tech giant company. I, along with a couple of girls (it was a female-only drive) were waiting for the second coding round after clearing the first round. One girl said that girls find coding difficult and we got this opportunity only because it was female-only drive. I was understandably shocked for a second. She had just undermined everyone's ability, including herself. I wanted to say to much about how her ideas were wrong and that a skill as no gender, but couldn't. I didn't wanted to make her or anyone else uncomfortable or nervous before the assessment and interview and hamper their chances of clearing it, thereby reinforcing their ideas. The only way that I let it go was telling myself that she was from a small town (Sangli, Maharashtra) and not from a cosmopolitan city (Mumbai) like me and had to already go above and beyond for her engineering degree.

Then come the boys/men saying how these female drives are discrimination against them. How we girls have it easy by not competing against boys who are 'naturally' better than girls. How conveniently they forget that it was a woman behind the programming of Apollo mission and so many other important technologies.

Hoping that my environment on my job is good and I am not punished for being born as a female.

You might face similar issues in future too. I myself into a company. I served as senior member in the team for past many years in the same team you can consider me as last building block of the team. Unfortunately my manager had to leave the team due to her personal issue.

They got some one who has same position as mine currently as team lead. Than asking atleast once with me. This shows how much trust they have on women employees. They even decided to move me out on their own without even consulting me to avoid clashes between us as we both are in the same position. this shows how much they respect women's choice. I have decided to move out of company as soon as i can. Than letting some random ppl taking decision for my life.

Originally posted by: Swetha-Sai

Word to your post!

I’m a mother of 6 yo son and I hardly have a say on raising my son. All decisions are taken by in-laws as they’ve raised him as free nanny while I worked in IT Co in these 7 years of my marriage.

Yeh sab abhi bhi ho raha hai?😔

I have a narrow minded typical desi family too, even my husband despite living in UK for 10 years still has that mentality which he was brought up with. But thankfully so far I have the freedom and free will to do what I like. My parents have never been that strict on me, though they do have that typical thinking of men being superior to women and that women should make all the sacrifices to make the marriage work.

Thank You for your kind words🙂

It still hard for women to have free thinking, but at the end we will only make difference through our persistence.

@firewings_diya

SORRY 💔

https://giphy.com/gifs/transparent-siS34ziU0gxsQ

I deal with this kind of content by leaving the group / site. Disturbing my mental peace for online content is not worth it. There are all kinds of people on the internet. Some people do not want to change their thinking and debating with them is futile.

For real life, I would say that misogyny exists in every country of the world. 'First World' countries have PRs which mislead people into believing that everything is perfect. It is better but not perfect.

As women are claiming back their rights, the resistance to women is also increasing. This will happen more and more, the more women progress. The good thing is how far women have come as regards their rights and I am optimistic about our future progress. 👍🏼

I would say that try to be as independent as possible especially financially and be happy. :) There is nothing more disturbing to MCPs than seeing a woman living the life of her dreams.

If possible, seek out genuine groups working for women empowerment in your area where you can contribute with time / money / etc.