How do you deal with it? - Page 5

I pay attention when people around me are using words like "girls" and "boys" to refer to women and men who are old enough to make their own choices. I make a conscious effort to avoid paternalistic language in real life. When I write fiction, I use this language carefully to indicate which characters have illusions or regressive attitudes.

The idea that a working woman before marriage is a "girl" to be watched and guided ... the idea that marriage transforms a laughing, casually dressed "girl" into a "woman" who must control her laughter and dress more matronly ... the idea that men who get into trouble, including married men chasing other women, are "boys" in high spirits ... the idea that it's cute and natural for a man to behave like a dependent child before his wife ... all of this will only change when our spoken language makes the change.

Originally posted by: BiggBus

There is nothing more disturbing to MCPs than seeing a woman living the life of her dreams.

You agree, I hope, that the goal is not to disturb them but to make their discomfort irrelevant.

Originally posted by: BrhannadaArmour

You agree, I hope, that the goal is not to disturb them but to make their discomfort irrelevant.

Yes. Living a life of your dreams kills 2 birds with 1 stone. You get to do what you want and naysayers have to deal with a women's success rather than you dealing with their toxicity. :)

Originally posted by: BrhannadaArmour

I pay attention when people around me are using words like "girls" and "boys" to refer to women and men who are old enough to make their own choices. I make a conscious effort to avoid paternalistic language in real life. When I write fiction, I use this language carefully to indicate which characters have illusions or regressive attitudes.

The idea that a working woman before marriage is a "girl" to be watched and guided ... the idea that marriage transforms a laughing, casually dressed "girl" into a "woman" who must control her laughter and dress more matronly ... the idea that men who get into trouble, including married men chasing other women, are "boys" in high spirits ... the idea that it's cute and natural for a man to behave like a dependent child before his wife ... all of this will only change when our spoken language makes the change.

I am aware that I used the two words girls and women for two different incidents. First incident was of inter-community marriage. Here I use the word women because the stigma continues inspite of how long the marriage has lasted. A woman who is happily married for decades may still be asked "Didn't you find someone from our community". Hence, using the word woman.

The second incident is about placement drive that I was a part of. These drives are conducted only for fresh graduates who are looking for their first job, aged (20-24). It is one of our first encounter with the corporate and adult world, where we are not very mature, hence the word girl.

Originally posted by: BiggBus

I deal with this kind of content by leaving the group / site. Disturbing my mental peace for online content is not worth it. There are all kinds of people on the internet. Some people do not want to change their thinking and debating with them is futile.

For real life, I would say that misogyny exists in every country of the world. 'First World' countries have PRs which mislead people into believing that everything is perfect. It is better but not perfect.

As women are claiming back their rights, the resistance to women is also increasing. This will happen more and more, the more women progress. The good thing is how far women have come as regards their rights and I am optimistic about our future progress. 👍🏼

I would say that try to be as independent as possible especially financially and be happy. :) There is nothing more disturbing to MCPs than seeing a woman living the life of her dreams.

If possible, seek out genuine groups working for women empowerment in your area where you can contribute with time / money / etc.