Member Topic: Joint famillies - Page 4

After my parents death,i lived in a kinda joint family. Though in uk,but the family almost like indian-pakistani or bangladeshi joint family. So i loved them and love them still. From that experience i dont mind living in a joint family but here i dont think i will get.

Originally posted by: capricornrcks

Nah! 10 years is old enough to know I didn't want this circus in my future. But I can't discount the advantages too. For one thing there were no lonely senior citizens and no worries about childcare. No wonder the TV soaps featuring joint families are still popular. We get to watch the drama safely from a distance.

I have never lived in a joint family..but relatives stayed nearby and would meet regularly..grandparents would come to stay on n off..so it was all good..after mrg I live in a different city ..neither side of our family lives here..though they visit often.. We really love spending time in the hometown but m always happy n relieved to be back home after the break.

So don't really know if will ever like a joint family setup or not. Best is staying nearby..in the same city but different houses

Joint family is good until waha koi bigg boss khelna na shuru karde😆. And mere yaha aise bharpur hai😳 bengali mein inhe "kuchute" kehte hai😆 jo sirf jalte rehte hai😭. But no one messes with my mom and dad mom pura muh pe jawab deti hai and papa has has ke beizzati kar dete hai aise logo ki🥳. I am not saying joint family is bad but there are some disadvantages also😆

Originally posted by: la_Reine

I thought life is more exhausting in joint family. My mum never got time for herself when my brother and his family lived with us, as the housework was never ending (even though my brother's wife helped with all the chores). Now that they moved out and it's just my parents and my other brother at home, she doesn't have much to do and is bored most of the time.😆

Life would have been unbearable for the women without the army of servants. I remember two live-in female servants exclusively for the kitchen. The children's ayah would also chip in when needed. 3-4 daily wager men for yard-work, maintaining the orchards and looking after the cows and chickens.On marriages and festivals a separate cook with his staff would handle the food. The daughter-in-laws needed to mark attendance in the kitchen daily. But not the whole time. Just need to show that you're not shirking your work. The daughters of the house were all teenagers or younger children at that time. So I don't remember any of them being expected to help with housework. Studying was their only duty. The old women made the kitchen their domain. But not for any housework. Their only contribution would be testing the food and gossiping.

Originally posted by: Kyahikahoon

Wow ..u figured all this out by the age of 10 👏👏👏

Just kidding..pls don't mind

I lived in joint family till I was 15. You do figure it out early on. By the time I was 12-13, I was sure I didn’t wanna marry a guy who had a brother.

I agree with distance keeps relationship stronger. When you live under same roof, small things get to you and everyone starts becoming bitter towards the other.

Although my grandparents always lived with us. Me and my brother are good at waking up early and adjusting in any environment. My grandpa would have a big lecture if we are not up by 7. (I actually thank him now. That discipline was much needed.)
Letting go is part of you. Makes you an easy going person.

My cousin wakes up at 11 -12. Even now when they are married and working. One cousin couldn’t survive any job. Very fragile ego and never learnt adjustment. Pros are - Joint family definitely makes you tougher and smarter. Cons would be - it makes you bitter also.

I am raising 2 kids on my own. My neighbor has her mother and MIL living close by. I do envy that she has a support. They also enjoy spending time with her kid. With us, even if we are sick, we are responsible. No one to share the load. Kids like grandparents attention. And grandparents love kids. We also like it that there are elders in the house. I would love to have them over. My MIL likes it but FIL gets super bored.

Originally posted by: Colors_face

Its very difficult to live in joint family after marriage as girl

feels like outsider and your freedom ended

plus no one one your side in arranged marriage

And some girls make it tough for others to live with them😆

Originally posted by: capricornrcks

Life would have been unbearable for the women without the army of servants. I remember two live-in female servants exclusively for the kitchen. The children's ayah would also chip in when needed. 3-4 daily wager men for yard-work, maintaining the orchards and looking after the cows and chickens.On marriages and festivals a separate cook with his staff would handle the food. The daughter-in-laws needed to mark attendance in the kitchen daily. But not the whole time. Just need to show that you're not shirking your work. The daughters of the house were all teenagers or younger children at that time. So I don't remember any of them being expected to help with housework. Studying was their only duty. The old women made the kitchen their domain. But not for any housework. Their only contribution would be testing the food and gossiping.

That sounds like my ideal kinda home

Originally posted by: NimbuMirchi

I lived in joint family till I was 15. You do figure it out early on. By the time I was 12-13, I was sure I didn’t wanna marry a guy who had a brother.

I agree with distance keeps relationship stronger. When you live under same roof, small things get to you and everyone starts becoming bitter towards the other.

Although my grandparents always lived with us. Me and my brother are good at waking up early and adjusting in any environment. My grandpa would have a big lecture if we are not up by 7. (I actually thank him now. That discipline was much needed.)
Letting go is part of you. Makes you an easy going person.

My cousin wakes up at 11 -12. Even now when they are married and working. One cousin couldn’t survive any job. Very fragile ego and never learnt adjustment. Pros are - Joint family definitely makes you tougher and smarter. Cons would be - it makes you bitter also.

I am raising 2 kids on my own. My neighbor has her mother and MIL living close by. I do envy that she has a support. They also enjoy spending time with her kid. With us, even if we are sick, we are responsible. No one to share the load. Kids like grandparents attention. And grandparents love kids. We also like it that there are elders in the house. I would love to have them over. My MIL likes it but FIL gets super bored.

I wish yu had told me this before. Mine has 3 of them.😆