Member Topic: Joint famillies - Page 3

Worse than SAB shows and better than Crime Patrol

Originally posted by: capricornrcks

Grew up in a joint family till I was 10 when the family split up.Mixed blessing. A joint family is not just the grandparents,kids and the grandkids. There will be spinster,widowed aunts and great aunts, orphaned cousins or cousins whose parents are abroad. That's not counting the revolving door of in-laws and relatives (3 or 4 times removed) who come and stay for months.

On one hand you get free childcare and don't need to worry about the daily menu, laundry etc. Life is not exhausting and there's plenty of time for the women of the family to pursue your hobbies, visiting, shopping etc. There's a battalion of servants.Pursuing a career(or not) is strictly up to you.Things will run smoothly even if you're sick or take off for weeks for your mayka. Someone is in hospital or in jail or in debt. No problem.The family immediately steps in. The no privacy factor and sharing trains you to be a good room mate when you finally set off for College. The onus of education and dowry does not rest on the parents alone. The paterfamilias helps out.There is no pressure for a white collar job. If you're not good at your studies a place will be found for you somewhere in the family business or estates. You inherit a huge network of contacts. I still consult the descendants of the same doctors,accountants,lawyers,bankers etc.

Cons: The infernal plotting and conspiracies and factions can threaten your sanity(literally). Suicide or mental breakdowns are not unheard of. The elders decide on your future studies,career, spouse etc.So buttering them up is necessary if you want any say in your future. The constant comparisons of the DILs, the constant spying of the servants... the list goes on.

Wow ..u figured all this out by the age of 10 👏👏👏😊

Just kidding..pls don't mind

Originally posted by: Uday_Shetty

Worse than SAB shows and better than Crime Patrol

Actually SAB show Wagle ki Duniya shows the right kind of joint family setup..na door na paas phir bhi hamesha saath

If I wanted to live within a wider family I would have stayed at home with my parents. Joint family lifestyle feels like a jail sentence to me. Big no no.

Originally posted by: la_Reine

How do you feel about living in joint famillies after marriage like it is shown on ITV and Bollywood movies?😆 What are the pros and cons of living in joint family vs living alone

In childhood it was fun to be in joint family setup as kids we had cousins to play with...not after marriage though... jealousy,internal politics,workload management,kids fights,ego,gas lighting between family members just make relationship more bitter!!!

Now i prefer privacy over anything...recently at family function all the cousins met,had laugh,reminisced good times n went our own houses...absence make heart grow fonder ...so ya meeting up after long time makes relationship better i guess🤔

Originally posted by: capricornrcks

Grew up in a joint family till I was 10 when the family split up.Mixed blessing. A joint family is not just the grandparents,kids and the grandkids. There will be spinster,widowed aunts and great aunts, orphaned cousins or cousins whose parents are abroad. That's not counting the revolving door of in-laws and relatives (3 or 4 times removed) who come and stay for months.

On one hand you get free childcare and don't need to worry about the daily menu, laundry etc. Life is not exhausting and there's plenty of time for the women of the family to pursue your hobbies, visiting, shopping etc. There's a battalion of servants.Pursuing a career(or not) is strictly up to you.Things will run smoothly even if you're sick or take off for weeks for your mayka. Someone is in hospital or in jail or in debt. No problem.The family immediately steps in. The no privacy factor and sharing trains you to be a good room mate when you finally set off for College. The onus of education and dowry does not rest on the parents alone. The paterfamilias helps out.There is no pressure for a white collar job. If you're not good at your studies a place will be found for you somewhere in the family business or estates. You inherit a huge network of contacts. I still consult the descendants of the same doctors,accountants,lawyers,bankers etc.

Cons: The infernal plotting and conspiracies and factions can threaten your sanity(literally). Suicide or mental breakdowns are not unheard of. The elders decide on your future studies,career, spouse etc.So buttering them up is necessary if you want any say in your future. The constant comparisons of the DILs, the constant spying of the servants... the list goes on.

I thought life is more exhausting in joint family. My mum never got time for herself when my brother and his family lived with us, as the housework was never ending (even though my brother's wife helped with all the chores). Now that they moved out and it's just my parents and my other brother at home, she doesn't have much to do and is bored most of the time.😆

Originally posted by: Kyahikahoon

Wow ..u figured all this out by the age of 10 👏👏👏😊

Just kidding..pls don't mind

Nah! 10 years is old enough to know I didn't want this circus in my future. But I can't discount the advantages too. For one thing there were no lonely senior citizens and no worries about childcare. No wonder the TV soaps featuring joint families are still popular. We get to watch the drama safely from a distance.

Originally posted by: BhataktiJawani

I don’t have a joint family after my wedding, even though I always dreamt of it😭

Its very difficult to live in joint family after marriage as girl

feels like outsider and your freedom ended

plus no one one your side in arranged marriage

I’ve lived in a Joint family and it is really tough and not at all like how it’s portrayed in movies .