Hey all, so I had written this a little while ago... with two couples in mind... For the other, I have posted two parts... and for my beloved SG (IP), here it is. Please let me know what you all think... Comments and criticisms always welcome!
Unfinished Business
Part I
Every parting is a form of death, as every reunion is a type of heaven.
~Tryon Edwards
Jannat… The thought struck him almost instantaneously as his eyes caught the plethora of blue amidst fluffs of pure white… Kehte hain jannat yahin kahin hai… iss neeley ambar ki galiyon mein… kahin in badalon ke sunnehrey ghere mein… (They say that the heavens are somewhere here… in the streets of this blue mass… somewhere amidst the wonder of these clouds…)… Jannat… Shaking his head ever so slightly in a reminiscent tone, a gentle smile formed on his lips as he pushed lightly into the leather… momentary closing his eyes… A distinct picture subconsciously formed itself on the blank slate of his mind… An abundance of greenery… specked with bright yellow… a vast blue sky… roofing the mass field… the rich smell of the khet… His muscles relaxed luxuriously as the scent enriched his senses… A rare calm overwhelming his stringent composure… Somewhere within the clear skies… a flock of birds enjoyed their freedom… while a deep blue abruptly joined in their pleasure… The music of the birds fused in with a distinct laughter… as the blue danced with the dreamy breeze… falling aimlessly upon a face… Jerking out of the reverie, he felt his muscles tighten once more… After uncounted moments, a distant voice penetrated through his blankness… "Sir, could you please fasten your seatbelt, we are preparing for landing." He watched stoically as the navy-clad figure disappeared into the far end of the compartment… while he internally still inched towards reality…
***
His heart hounded vigorously against the chambers of his ribcage… With each step, a new surge of energy and anxiety waved over him… The distinct beeping… whispers of conversation… the bustle of city-life… excited features… odorous airs… all entwined with a festive touch… It was all so familiar… yet distant… Placing his luggage onto the cart, he entered the waiting area… A sense of comfort inching close to him… but marred by some invincible barrier… as he breathed deeply of the abundant air… before searching the awaiting crowd. A stream of flashes and questions launched his way as he stepped towards the exit with a beaming Mr. Chandra taking his baggage… "Welcome Mr. Kapoor." He smiled genuinely at the stout man who had long proven his loyalty… and weaved through the chaos of cameras and lights, mouthing a "no comments"…
***
"Sir aapke liye humne flat tayar rakha hai… Aap wahan rahenge, aur kal aap tohra araam…" (Sir we have prepared a flat for you… And you will stay there, and tomorrow you can rest…). "Kal…" (Tomorrow), he interrupted his confused companion in the plush new machine. Slowly, his eyes broke away from the passing images of bustling life… faintly catching the black block letters on the aging blue sign… Delhi… "Kal… Mr. Chandra… kal se hi main kaam shuru karna chahta hoon…" (Tomorrow… Mr. Chandra… I want to start work tomorrow itself…). In response, he was accepted without protest… and the rest of the journey reeked of the presence of his old friend… silence…
***
Back… and forth… back… and forth… He stared pensively at the rectangular frame resting across the way… Quietly, he rocked on the loyal chair… his arms forming a triangle as his hands clasped supportively beneath the sturdy stubble… A set of papers lay untouched on the glass table to his side… an equally unaffected cup of coffee… its relaxing scent having faded now to his senses… Rolling his head back… he closed his eyes again… the familiar aroma of the fields beckoning… the lazy blue dancing in the air tempting… Slowly, the blue begins to slide… giving way to the sea of innocence imbedded in a pair of hazel eyes… The humble thud of a lightweight object meeting the tiled flooring filtered through his thoughts… and slowly, he eased back into reality… After what seemed like eternity, he raised… The soft strides of his feet ruffled slightly… as he approached the frame bathed in mysterious shades under the dim light… Now but a mere step away, his feet ceased… and his hands looked out the bay window… The night was young… and so too the festive atmosphere… Delhi traffic moved along to a slow rhythmic beat… as he continued to stare… yet not see… Turning his attention now back to the wooden frame… Lifting it slightly… his eyes met with the empty glass… The frame held nothing… yet read his entire story… Bracing himself from the ever-present grief, he lowered the object in hand… staring at it's upright back… before turning towards the full length window again… Sliding slowly to the cool ground, he cajoled the burning within… A rage of the past now threatened to overflow the present… engulfing it in flames of waiting… pain… The shield he had thrust against himself, now slowly relented… Silently, he could see the eyes… as they screamed questions into him… Refocusing his hazy vision, he perceived the world outside the glass blur… as the clouds expressed their sympathy…
The tender voice flowing from the nearby radio slowly occupied his thoughts… intermingling with the monsoon of reminiscences blooming afore his distant eyes…
Aaoge jab tum ohh saajna… Aaoge jab tum ohh saajna…
His eyes pooled lovingly at the dreamy sequence playing silently…
Angna phool khilenge…
The dreamy blue fluttered lively in the absent-minded breeze… riding high in the skies… as they rained with soft pedals… While a pair of swift feet adorned in light jewels treaded longingly on the earthly path… following the stubborn blue… The chime of bangles musically bonding echoed in the air… as the owner wrestled with the airs…
Barsega saawan… Barsega saawan jhoom jhoom ke…
As the blue veil relented it's teasing demeanour… falling blissfully upon the grateful owner… the skies burst with miniscule droplets… singing life to the greenery around… While the figure took refuge underneath a sturdy tree… The soaked blue now slowly lowering… revealing the innocence of another dream… caught amidst a pair of hazel eyes…
Aaoge jab tum ohh saajna…
Slowly… his eyelids closed… sealing the memories for eternity… again… while a tired… solitary tear escaped it's confinement… unnoticed…
***
"Congratulations Mr. Kapoor, aaj raat aapki aur humari iss kamyaabi ki khushi mein ek choti si party rakhi hai, aap zaroor aayega." (Congratulations Mr. Kapoor, tonight we've held a small party to celebrate the success of our endeavour, please do come). He nodded half-heartedly… Greeting the flashes with overtly happy smiles… though only his heart knew…
***
Na hai ye paana… na khona…
Tera na hona jaane… kyon hona hi hai…
A pair of distant eyes watched as waves of clear liquid crashed mercilessly against each other… sending tiny droplets to fade in the air… while others relapsed into the miniature ocean formed between the glass… Holding the goblet pensively between his fingers, the owner brought it slowly to his lips… his eyes barely catching the blur of crimson pass stealthy by… Lifting his gaze, he was reacquainted with his celebrative surroundings… as the lights dimmed… while shadows cascaded across the marble… The melody now fused in another… as each pair lost itself in one another…
Ek din teri raahon mein… bahon mein, panhon mein…
…aaoonga… khojaoonga…
Ek din tera ho jaoonga…
Ye dil toh na… keh saka ye baatein…
Ye dil toh na…
Amidst the shadows… he sat… a part of them… their darkness… a reflection of his own inner self… A loner amidst a crowd… Suddenly feeling suffocated, his lungs yearned for fresh air… while his mind… searched for peace… An abrupt need to feel the air sucked into him… Quietly setting aside the glass… he silently turned towards the exit… whilst loosening the satin snake confining his neck… As his sturdy figure disappeared into the darkness of the night... the cerise snake slithered unnoticed... muffled by jingling feet...
***
He needed to catch the memories... unite them with the reality... the way it had always meant to be... He had to reacquaint with the reason… Tiny beads of perspiration formed upon his skin... as the pins and needles poked his body... Pulling off the dark blazer... he released his figure of the imprisonment... while pulling out his shirt, rolling up the loosened sleeves... The ever-present yearn now consumed his thoughts... completely... Feeling the earth beneath his wandering feet... a rush of inexplicable joy surged through him... The icy breeze teased his balmy skin... welcoming him... His arms hung loosely to his side... the hands hidden behind the pockets of his dark trousers...
Slowly... but surely... a distinct smile formed lazily upon his lips... It felt good... to feel again...
The wanderer roamed tirelessly in the aged streets... still excited in festivities... A smile addressed each curious pair of eyes that looked towards the ajnabee... At some point, he stopped… watching a group of children. Three… there were three… a boy, his face expressing an age of about nine… a girl, her innocence reflecting seven years… and another boy, who seemed to hover in between the two. They appeared to be playing a game of which he could not catch, but could see that a partnership was required. The eight-year old looked excitedly towards the girl, taking her hand in his… while the latter looked towards the nine-year-old… Her eyes radiating with disappointment… longing… perhaps, it could have been different… her eyes spoke… while the nine-year old looked back, a helpless smile upon his face… A silent acceptance… He continued to stare… even as the space filled with the children now turned empty… Near in the distance, the whistle of a train brought him out of his reminiscence…
***
There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.
~Nelson Mandela
I will remember you… will you remember me?
Don't let you life… pass you by…
A long buried bundle of emotions now revitalized within him… as he caught the passing fields in the camera of his eyes… Would it be the same, he silently wondered. A fruitless question… He knew… as he had lived the fact… time and tide… wait for none… But still… somewhere… the dying light of hope still shimmered…
(Flashback)
After uncounted moments… he finally let out a chuckle… the laughter refused to subside as his eyes traced the creases of anger upon her soft features. Any passing wanderer would perhaps find the scene just as amusing… His plan had certainly worked… she had stepped exactly in the right spot, at precisely the right time! "Tum… main tumhe nahin chodoongi! Mere saare kapre…" (You… I will not leave you! My clothes…), she whined looking over her mud-covered self. After another minute of disappointment, she looked up, throwing him an icy glare… Before he could think into the slowly forming smile on her lips, he felt a tug on his arm… Confusion and shock read over his face as he looked at her laughing. Lifting a mud-covered hand, he scanned the rest of himself… now garnished in the same colour as her. He gave her a hard stare… spewing with revenge. The look obviously had not gone unnoticed by her, as she had by now started running… Silver jewels adorning her ankles hindered her attempt at getting out of his grasp… and soon he caught hold of her arm… Struggling to untangle her wrist from him, she wondered apprehensively as his eyes wickedly looked around… settling on the thick white tube atop the nearby well… Her thoughts struck blank as she gulped the immense liquid washing over her… cleansing her… As the cool water rushed over her body, she felt an odd sense of relief… A tug at her arm brought her out of the volcano of the clear liquid… and she peered into the eyes penetrating into her. It took a moment for the shivers to dim down… her muscles tensing with each passing second… not so much because of the cold… but his eyes… "Maine tumhare upar ye keechad uchalah tah… Toh main hi usse saaf karoonga…" (I got this mud over you… So I would be the one to clean it…). She watched in strange awe as his dark form disappeared into the distance…
(End Flashback)
Sitting still, he barely noticed the stream of chaos in the compartment as people filed out… Stopping at their destinations… as he wondered of his own…
Weep not for… the memories…
"Eh bahisaab, yahin rehne ka irada hai kya? Chalo, tumhara stop agaya" (Eh man, you plan on staying here? Come, you're stop has arrived)… Mera stop (My stop)… he juggled over the thought for a second… smiling lightly… alas… With the small smile still edging on his fine lips, he raised…
He dared not look too deeply… yet his gaze refused the restraint… The lush green ached with sweet memories coming alive… as his feet led him nearer to the secret place the child in him had once discovered… a discovery shared with another… Even in the pale hours of early morning, he could clearly make out the vast area… Given the need, he knew he could find the way with blind eyes… so deeply etched in his mind was the path… The rush of water from the motor nearby tingled his ears… welcoming another faint smile into his lips…
Weeding through the unmarked path, he finally pushed aside the thick branch hovering over his head… uncovering… unleashing a torment of agonizingly sweet recollections… Before him, was a small clearing… the flow of water gurgling in a narrow part of the small river entertained his ears… A large boulder sat against an aged tree… the heights of whom were far from sight… looking up, he sought the still sleepy skies… slowly awakening… in the pale, transitory phase… A natural barrier of green held off the rest of the area… Intrigued once again, he stepped towards the bark… relishing the feel of the rock against his fingers… before stepping on top of it… Slowly, but surely… he leaned his head back against the bark… momentarily closing his eyes… before opening them to the spectacular sight… the opening of a range of colours sweeping the vast ambar… So many seconds… minutes… hours… of memories had become lost in this place… Summers much looked forward too… A distinct such, now beckoned him…
(Flashback)
"Shiv!!… Ruko!! Tum mujhe kuch batana chahte teh na…" (Stop!! You wanted to tell me something right…)… Her mock anger was quickly replaced by an innocent smile as she stopped… mesmerized by the sight above… The fear of being out late had long dissipated in his presence… and now she stood in the clearing… encircled by leaves and branches extending high into the skies… The skies… her heart melted at the stupendous sight… as the skies mingled in a cornucopia of reds and oranges… fused together with the sounds of the day awakening… Soon, she felt another presence near her… but stayed immobile… still lost in the scene… Unknowingly, she had grasped his hand in excitement… Holding it close to her pounding heart, she pointed to the universal roof with her free hand… devoting his attention to her…
He stared at her in utter amazement… Hesitantly, his gaze turned… lifting from her mischievous eyes to the object of her admiration. Stunned by the moment… the odd sense of dj vu…
They both stared wondrously at nature's ways… hand in hand… knowing… yet not… Minutes passed… unknowingly…
After the pause in time… she stirred… feeling the tiny sprinkle of liquid snake town the side of her face and disappear noticeably… Her empty thoughts now filled with reality… and she slowly parted her hand from her now alert companion… Feeling the rush of colour in her face, she casually averted his eyes… fixing her carelessly draped veil…
Sensing the strangeness of the situation, he wanted to look away… part from this inexplicable condition… But his eyes shamelessly refused to part from her… as she continued to fumble nervously with the cerise of her dupatta… A state of paralysis overwhelmed him… as his thoughts froze… Suddenly, she looked up… her eyes… told him… she felt it too… Taking advantage of the uncertainty, the clouds burst into passionate flame… Feeling a tug at his arm, he was jerked out of the cloudiness…
He could hear the murmur of curses trailing from her slightly parted lips as she wiped at her nicely drenched clothes… Following her, he attempted the same… Both stood, rubbing the moistness away… all to no avail… Suddenly, they looked towards each other… each as though caught amidst a lie… when a gentle smile slowly played upon her lips… soon bursting into a laughter he shared… It felt good… It felt good to feel… to have her near… to share this moment… to live it… The reason to the laughter was unknown… but it felt good… and that seemed only the matter… Leaning against the tree… they both looked through the holes of green above them… catching the pale blue within their sight… as the loud patter now dimmed…
Not knowing why, he felt a sense of calm… a deep relaxation… Turning his head, he saw her looking at him too… the same sense reading over her beautiful features… which he now took into detail… Amazed at his own audacity, he felt his palm slowly outstretch… feeling the soft skin of her face against it… After an uncertain moment, he brought the other hand forth… filling her in the deep reservoir of his eyes… Etching each detail vividly into his mind… his heart… his soul… Slowly, his gaze fell to her crimson lips… parted in the most barely noticeable manner… Rubbing the base of his thumb seductively against the lower lip… he relished the feel of it… while his eyes caressed her unique features… Slowly her gaze opened to him… he awaited for the hesitation in her eyes… searching… but all he could fathom… was the same unexplained desire… Lifting his face closer… he brought his lips gently upon hers… in a soul-stirring kiss… knowing it to be her first… and secretly his own too… Filling the narrow space between them, he pulled her close… as they dived into a sea of until now, reserved passion… She had unknowingly unleashed within him… a force he had not known the potential of…
When they parted, he felt the wind knocked out of him… while she looked to be in a similar state… Stunned… Her eyes fell to the ground… the colour rising noticeably to her cheeks… Slowly, she looked up… to find him shamelessly admire her… an impish grin slowly playing upon his lips… lips that still tasted of the sweet delicacy of hers… Brushing back a matted strand of hair on the side of her face, he continued the pleasurable observation… "Kuch baatein batayee nahin jaatee Gaureeee…" (Some things are not meant to be said Gaureeee…)
Part II
"The part always has a tendency to reunite with its whole in order to escape from its imperfection." – Leonardo Da Vinci
In a sequence of lifting fog… the veil of darkness now hovering over the sleepy Earth filled his eyes… the eyes which had in some uncounted moments just lived the past… A tinge of moisture slowly entered his awakening senses and he slowly came to realize the familiar surroundings once more. So lost he had become in the past, that the present had dug into an unknown future… The air smelled of light after showers… while the dark green around him seemed more alive. So many times had this happened… so many a time the past had overpowered the present in his solidarity… though never before as today… But suddenly, it didn't seem to matter. Nothing mattered… It never had when it came to her… He did not know if he had made the right decision, but it was made… the reality of one of the lines on a pair of hands decorated with a deep shade of green.... And perhaps, that was all that mattered.
Assuring himself thus, he stretched out his legs… overwhelmed with a sense of relaxation… but satisfaction did not seem as generous. Something… somewhere… told him otherwise. Some unknown instinct… Closing his eyes in momentary agony, he misplaced himself between the chaos in his mind… Unable to bear it any longer, he slowly re-opened his eyes… reacquainting with the peaceful surroundings… relishing the taste of the sight upon his thirsty gaze… greedily taking it all in… Rising pensively, he extended a hesitant hand towards the immense nature around him… afraid it would all be a dream… as dreams he knew… only came true for the rare ones, amongst whom he did not belong. But that was his dream… Stopping abruptly, he bent to his knees… gaining a closer look at the little winged creature resting upon a large leaf. His eyes stared in wonder… as the tiny creature had a vast amount to encase within it's "home"… yet it sat contented, in some small corner… His dream…In a moment of uncertainty he made another decision… He had made a wish… slept a dream… and now, he had to see if that wish… that dream… had come true… Had he made the right decision? Breathing deep of the forgotten life he momentarily allowed the breaths to sink in… Almost immediately, the serenity found him again… Re-tracing his steps, he turned his head slightly… just enough to cast one longing look at the scene… a look with a promise…
Weep not for… the memories…
Remember the good times we had…
*~*
Perhaps, if his eyes were coals… the satin black of his large bureau would have been ashes… at least the gadget sitting atop the thick surface… His fingers unknowingly had entwined with the various sides of the transparent paperweight… abruptly lifting their hold now… as the sound of the multi-faceted object hitting the ground filled the emptiness in the air… Replaying the fruitless conversation in his mind, he pushed into the leather of the chair… the cool texture provoking no reaction from his numbed senses… "Wohe ab yahan nahin rehti… aur dobara yahan phone mat kariyega." (She does not live here anymore… and do not call here again). He had sat for countless minutes listening to the continual drone of the dead line… Closing his eyes silently, he recalled the details… Not in Mumbai… Not in Dehli… Not there… Where was she? Exhaling deeply, he sat upright… raising himself, he walked towards the window… Fleetingly, his eyes observed the activities of everyday life… The sun was bright today… yet everywhere he looked, people seemed distressed by the heat… He had to find her…
*~*
Agra… the city of the Taj… the representation of pure love… for those devoted to another… this was… jannat (heaven)… Looking about, his eyes retraced to the object of his most recent frustration. Standing on the side of the road, he waited while a man looked at his malfunctioning vehicle. Again, the sun was out… as it was every day… Only today, he could sense the heat more clearly… as it soaked through his feeble clothes… Lifting off the grey jacket, he rolled up the sleeves of the still white of his shirt. Squinting, he lifted his attention to the oblivious surroundings… a thread of curses having escaped his lightly parted lips. If anything, he hated being late. Shiv Kapoor was never late… it was just a habit he had acquired through life… Racing ahead of, not with… time.
A mild calm etched into his irritated features as a gust of wind blew into the silent barrier around him… bringing with it a whiff of memory… And as though on cue, he felt the air thicken… hovering over him… an indication of a coming fall… a fall of rain… that would liven up the green… the khet… the laughter… the blue… "Saab… saab…" Startled, he looked questioningly at the eyes of the man trying for his attention… "Haan… wohe… kya keh rahe tehe tum…" he wondered aloud. The man stared at him with uncertain eyes for a long pause, as though assessing him… "Wohe saab, gaadi ka engine kharab lagta hai… pata nahin kitna waqt lagega…" The man's voice seemed to dim with each word… as though preparing for flight at his boss' unknown demeanor.
A flicker of irritancy mingled with his blood, as the urgency had become even more pressing now… Wohe ab yahan nahin rehti… Yahan nahin… toh kahan?... Every hour… every minute… every second since… he had pondered over the question… as it hungrily ate away his being. Alas, with the help of some faintly remembered acquaintances, he had found her location… Time is such a strange thing… for in one moment, it seems to never end… while in another, it takes forever to come… and in a rare moment of truth… it stands still… And now, each second… each minute… each hour… seemed like… forever.
He was so close… but for some reason, a feather-weight of despair plagued his mind… What if… she wasn't there... How would she be… And perhaps most of all… would he be able to see her… with someone else?... Would he be that lone sailor… amidst the sea… with nothing but the water around… from the depth of an eye… and slowly… his ship is sinking… sinking in the sea… the sea of long suppressed affection… It would be overwhelming… But it had been his own doing… He had been the one… to tie her to Nitesh… the rich and worthy heir of the Agarwal family, and a dear, dear friend… He had been but in the shadows of such light… Recalling clearly, the scene of Nitesh opening the chest of filled with the treasure of love he nourished for… her… a pang of unfelt pain revisited his chest… Each word had slit his skin then… like salt upon an open wound… Shiv Kapoor… had achieved the highest depths of man… he had found himself… in another… It all seemed but a distant dream… foggy in remembrance…but deeply real… as he stood now, in the midst of a crowded street… unknown to his turmoil. "Acha teekh hai… main taxi le jata hoon…"
*~*
An uncertain calm had thundered inside him… like the acute silence before the great storm… It was like inching towards the edge… from where everything else seemed to whole… Curling his still fingers, he lightly nodded on the door… faintly aware of the empty corridor of the floor… As he waited… the light click of his watch seemed to be the only indication of the passage of time… In the splitting of a second… it all came rushing back…
Weep not for… the memories…
Five… Ten… As time slowly made it's presence felt once more, he realized there was no response… Everything was still… Driven by curiosity… withheld by dread… he lifted a hand towards the knob… secretly hoping nothing would become of it… yet praying it did… The dilemma phased out as the door clicked open. Startled, unknowingly, his foot stepped back… After a few minutes of contemplation, he felt himself give in to the temptation… slowly setting foot inside the apartment.
Familiarity welcomed his senses with a whiff of pain… the place bloomed of a pale scent… her scent… As his feet tread deeper into the compartment… it dawned on him almost immediately… She was not here… But she had been… He had no need to stay then… but still… as his eyes scattered over the sheer blinds dancing to the open breeze… the still, dark frame of furnishings… a curiosity fell over him… Winding through the area, it felt as though there was still something here… Entering into a fair sized room… his eyes experienced the contrast with the rest of the place… Each corner radiated in white… as opposed to the dark of the rest… A large bay window swung open, filtering in a delicate breeze… Still… everything was… So perfect…in its place… As his gaze drank in the scene, the solitary desk at the far corner near the window, caught his attention… Unknown to instinct, he slowly approached it… blankness writ over his hard face… Hovering over the bureau surface, he poured obliviously into the dark leather… slowly, allowing his fingers to travel over it… ponder at its unseen contents… With equal ease, he opened the lid… turning it open… As though sensing a presence, the pages began to stir with life… graciously borrowing from the thickened breeze… By this point, he had unknowingly fallen upon the hushed chair… as the white leaves turned quickly… allowing faint glimpses of a lifetime… Hesitantly, his hand marked down onto a page… holding it still… as his stiff eyes melted against the dried tears staining the surface…
Duniya… ye duniya ke log… laga hai har zarey ko koi na koi rog…
Kisse… ye kahanhiyaan… bhahee hai paanee jaise inmein kayi zindgaaniyaan…
Waqt… ye lamhon ka taqaza… kabhi lagey din mein bhi andhera zara sa…
Jeevan… ye saanson ka khel… aisey hi koi raha hai shayad... isse bhi koi jhel…
Again… and again… he traced the curvasive lines across the page… as a thin film fell over his gaze… His fingers firmly grasped the steel utensil… pondering over what seemed an irritably unfinished stanza… Bringing black ink onto the white, he stretched in a string of words…
Ye duniya… ye kisse… ye waqt… ye jeevan…
Jaise bhi ho tasavur inka...
Bhikre pannon ko savareinge hum... tinka... tinka...
With a final stroke, the pen fell through his fingers… as his hand withdrew from the page… again allowing the air, to play through…
"Wohe humesha kehti hai… ke iss duniyaa mein sirf ek hi hai… joh uske adhoorey khayalon ko poora kar paaye… " A pause held all else sway… as the words lingered in the air… as though clouds ready to burst… It was an unfamiliar voice of a female… but he didn't bother confirming… sitting still… After the endless silence, he slowly rose from his seat… Turning towards the voice, he peered into the soulful eyes of a young woman… "You must be Shiv… usne ne kabhi zyada bataya nahin… lekin uski aankhein sab batatee hain…" she stated with a hint of reminicence… as though reliving a similar past. With that, she turned to leave… stopping mid-step, facing him, "Waise, I'm Zarra… Uski dost…We've been sharing this place since the past 4 years… " And with that, she disappeared into the shadows… while his eyes tried to fill the empty space at the door… with familiarity… with her… slowly turning his gaze back to the ruffling white leaves… dumbfounded… blank… Four years… Chaar saal… Such a long time it was… and all this time… he had lived in a stubborn oblivion… Uncertain of himself for a rare moment, he felt white surrounding him… dull… as he defeated, fell back into the solid chair…
*~*
Love is not blind – it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less. – Rabbi Julius Gordon
Taking in a generous breath, she felt astounded almost… to learn the still living ability of these surroundings… as they breathed into her… a sort of life… in its own… Life… Watching the past unfold around the vast green… she could again here the tinkling of jewels… the ruffle of footsteps against the hard earth… the blue… fragments of moisture pouring from the skies… the voices… laughter… It was as though she had walked back into that time… Looking ahead as she tread through the solid dirt path… her eyes sparkled in reminiscence as the tall figure approached her through a distance… Smiling through her gaze, she addressed the all too familiar… But as the figure loomed closer, she suddenly felt struck with an a strange foreignness… It was more than a dream… she could feel those eyes… with each step, they drained her… as though drinking her in…
Breaking free the stubborn grasp, she looked towards the skies… It was clear… with faint hints of clouds… which had now amassed… threatening in their growing presence… In some corner, the sun seeped vigilantly through the spaces between ceiling leaves… stemming from aged trees… It was cool nonetheless… a strange cool… She could faintly sense the beads of perspiration forming on her forehead… Looking towards the earth on which his feet stepped… her own began to retreat… The silence seemed to be unbearably loud now… her feet fell backwards quicker… and soon she found herself running… Turning away… and… running…
Panting, her hand felt for the support of the rough, memorable bark… Her eyes squinted… while her chest heaved, screaming raspy breaths… It didn't dawn on her until she slowly opened her eyes, regaining posture… that she had stepped into the forbidden… For years… since the day she was wedded to Nitesh, she had never come here… Never… It hurt… she knew it would… but she suddenly felt as though hit square in the chest… Clouded with nostalgia, she felt her feet shift… as though her world had been shaken… again. Hitting the bark, her knees seemed to turn to rubber… Her head throbbed as her life came pouring afore anxious eyes… Shiv… Gauri… Love?… Nitesh… Shiv's sudden farewell…Heartbreak… Marriage to Nitesh… Demands… Pain…Accident… Death… Widowhood…Taunts…
As he brushed aside the branch thick with leaves… he was unaware of what to expect… unknowingly balling his fists… Clenching his fingers tightly, he dug deeper into the nostalgic place… The scene afore made his soul cry out… It didn't take any hesitation this time, as the thought flashed through his mind… It was a good thing Nitesh Chandrana was dead… Because if he wasn't, he would have certainly not lived this moment… The dream lay in scatters… the shards of its remains, stung at his eyes… Guilt swept him so suddenly, that the earth seemed no longer underneath his feet… He had trusted Nitesh, his best friend… given him the responsibility… sacrificed his only affection… Anger overrode everything for a supreme moment… as he rummaged helplessly in the feverish depths of his guilt… and the consequences of his actions… This had all been because of him…
Swarmed in raging passion, for a moment he failed to recall the beauty of the place… The surroundings… the memories… the moments… As his eyes slowly began to refocus on her turned figure, life revisited… Such a contrast to blatant white of her attire… He suddenly couldn't bear it… as it became clearer… like when one approaches a distant call… ringing in the ears… pounding… like the melting iron against his ribcage… His eyes hungered for the colour…
Her breathing had remarkably flattened now… to the dull rhythm of a motionless frame… Without will, her feet turned towards a new direction… She could suddenly hear the soft ripples of light silvery threads… as they rushed downstream… the soft conversation of unseen life… all, as she met the eyes… Instantly, the recent past seemed nonexistent… It was as though the only life she had lived… was that, which narrated through the eyes… They weren't holding her… but allowing her… to experience it… again… to feel… again…
From one end, she could sense the hand, as it rose to her cheek… Blinking, she looked away… Succumbing unexpectedly to the fury… What was he doing here… Was this even happening… What did it matter if it were… A faint stinging sensation seeped into her as she watched his startled reaction… as she moved away from his approaching grasp… "Kyu…kyun… aye ho tum wapas?… Abhi kuch baaki hai kya?…" she spewed with ferocity… while turning away from him… As she did so, she again caught the flutter in his usually firm gaze… Her words were like freezing water… but she had no hold over them… nor the lava boiling within…
He watched her helplessly… as the venom in her voice ran akin to the blood in his veins… She had every right to do this… only she had ever had the right… But now as she exercised it… he for the very first time, felt utterly… vulnerable… It was as though a mirror had been held up against him… and he could see the man in the reflection… as she painted away… "Gaureee…" he whispered delicately… Fragile… His voice was fragile… "Margayee Gauri…Kabh ki… Margayee…" she stated without emotion… An instant rage gripped him, as he realized what she had just said… She had every right to blame him… but no right as this…
As he grabbed her arms… pressing her close, she looked up with startled eyes, acutely aware of the tinge of fire in his voice… Fire… The intensity emanating him was remarkable… Even fire at its extreme, felt cool… Acidic moisture stung at the edges of her eyes, as she attempted to realize what was happening… trying to control herself… Reaching into the depths of his eyes, she could read the hurt… the sorrow… the yearn… She realized in a moment… that she had not been alone in her trials all this time… A part of her had walked off with him, the day he had left… As it now revisited her, she suddenly felt complete again… His eyes narrated everything… simultaneously soaking away her pain… the wounds mended… the lost re-found… Long stifled droplets fell through her eyes as she cupped his face in her hands… The rare tears streaming down his face reflected the same helplessness… Feeling his hands cup her own face, she closed her eyes in a grateful pain… She didn't know she was capable of feeling again… not until this moment… The years worth of hatred had never measured up to a moment's worth of love…
As their foreheads met, thin droplets of water fell through the holed roof of trees… melting the past… the present… the future… While the past relived around them… coming alive, as a phoenix arises from the ashes… It was as though that time had reacquainted with them in this single moment… The youthful attraction had now bloomed to maturity… Bringing an essence of eternal strength…
Slowly parting from, he opened his eyes to her again… noticing her follow… A gentle smile touched upon her lips… echoing upon his own… Slowly, but surely… it gave way to an impish grin… as his eyes teased her features… still holding her face… as hers retreated… He smiled internally as the colour rose to her cheeks… His falling gaze preyed upon the lightly trembling lips… while his own bent before them… wiping clean the hesitancy… Holding her in his arms like this… was like finding himself again… Finding… home… again… And this time, he vowed never to walk away…
Jannat... Log jannat ki talash mein zindagi bita dete hain... Lekin ye nazara toh aakhir wahin par mil jaaye... jahan mohabbat ki ibadat ho...
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Cheers,
dc
Anupamaa
Dr Aarambhi
