those thorny questions -- infertility & society - Page 3

All these things you girls are talking about happen here in UK too and it is really sad when it is the younger ones who ask such questions.

I am actually older and having left home for a career after university, I came to know a long time after the kind of questions my mum was getting because of me however when my brother left home, no questions were asked. Even now both my mum and I get asked, especially by some immediate family and close friends, ‘any news’ with regards to my status. Now I may never get married nor have children and do feel silently judged by my own cousins who are all married and with children, they are all younger than me and I feel like I have no place in their lives any more aside the judgement because I am single.

So if it’s own family thinking this way then forget how rest of society treats single girls especially those who are single and older😔

am glad you enjoyed the post; for me, the show was such a highlight. so each side will have 15-20 people or so. they basically flash a theme question and people are encouraged to write in to participate. the show tries to have a cross section of people and so people from outside chennai also travel to participate.

for me, what was striking about this episode was that many of the men were obviously from smaller towns and rural areas where the stigma is so much more. (based on their accent and how they phrase). so to make the effort to share their view in such an open honest emotionally vulnerable way despite the stigma was really moving. like you said shidin - people assume that with these kind of topics, only women have some feels about it. however, men do as well. so, these kind of shows and views are important for us to hear. it does require emotionally bravery though.

as a people, culturally we are very chatty and nosy. I honestly can't say that I haven't asked questions that maybe I shouldn't have -- I really don't know as I can't remember. but like bluejayfire said, with time, I have learnt to be more sensitive and listen.

sometimes pinkorchid, people ask questions because they have never gone through stuff. so it doesn't strike them that maybe it might hurt others and make them feel uncomfortable. they don't realize that offhand comments like "oh you don't have to worry about inlaws problems because you are single" can hurt. a person may be okay with where they are in life (whether single or married & childless) but these comments can cause doubt, shame and pain. but then I remember what my mom said -- people should be very careful when they overly comment because God will sometimes cause storms in those very houses so their mouths get shut. so what goes around comes around I guess.

So since Aryan infertility is coming up u will see difference in this same show from same woman N. She will now b ok with Aryan infertility n cry n cry but not curse imlie until she find out imlie pregnancy n then Q her ckt but not think for one min that may be her son become lucky 🤷‍♀️😅 but anyway look like they will first show imlie pregnancy n then his infertility so N is going to flip like kaccha aata on tawa parantha so many times🤪

Originally posted by: PrincessDiana

So since Aryan infertility is coming up u will see difference in this same show from same woman N. She will now b ok with Aryan infertility n cry n cry but not curse imlie until she find out imlie pregnancy n then Q her ckt but not think for one min that may be her son become lucky 🤷‍♀️😅 but anyway look like they will first show imlie pregnancy n then his infertility so N is going to flip like kaccha aata on tawa parantha so many times🤪

kaacha aata on tawa 🤣 kekekke.... great description.

we know that aryan is not really infertile if he managed to knock up imlie. so we will have to see how it is played out. I had great expectations for the arvind track and how aryan deals with the trauma of grief. however, the CVs did a nonsensical immediate relief for aryan and he thanks imlie. 🙄🤦

so am keeping my expectations very low that aryan being infertile will be treated with a bit of sensitivity and realism (in terms of feelings). if they do something good, I will be happy. otherwise, the nonsense continues! 🤦

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

kaacha aata on tawa 🤣 kekekke.... great description.

we know that aryan is not really infertile if he managed to knock up imlie. so we will have to see how it is played out. I had great expectations for the arvind track and how aryan deals with the trauma of grief. however, the CVs did a nonsensical immediate relief for aryan and he thanks imlie. 🙄🤦

so am keeping my expectations very low that aryan being infertile will be treated with a bit of sensitivity and realism (in terms of feelings). if they do something good, I will be happy. otherwise, the nonsense continues! 🤦

What to do. Kitchen Queen Neela hai hum is cooking parantha so. . 🤷‍♀️ ya none of two is infertile but they will play for drama to catch cos this second report is big hint like they say criminal leave some hint always so... How much they will tease viewer before PF we hv to see

Originally posted by: PinkOrchid

All these things you girls are talking about happen here in UK too and it is really sad when it is the younger ones who ask such questions.

I am actually older and having left home for a career after university, I came to know a long time after the kind of questions my mum was getting because of me however when my brother left home, no questions were asked. Even now both my mum and I get asked, especially by some immediate family and close friends, ‘any news’ with regards to my status. Now I may never get married nor have children and do feel silently judged by my own cousins who are all married and with children, they are all younger than me and I feel like I have no place in their lives any more aside the judgement because I am single.

So if it’s own family thinking this way then forget how rest of society treats single girls especially those who are single and older😔

Sad ain't it 😑

Originally posted by: PrincessDiana

So since Aryan infertility is coming up u will see difference in this same show from same woman N. She will now b ok with Aryan infertility n cry n cry but not curse imlie until she find out imlie pregnancy n then Q her ckt but not think for one min that may be her son become lucky 🤷‍♀️😅 but anyway look like they will first show imlie pregnancy n then his infertility so N is going to flip like kaccha aata on tawa parantha so many times🤪

But ain't all the blame again going to be put on imlie the pregnant wife with the infertile bechaara husband

All for people asking questions Mango. Falooda but yeah it’s the repeating of same questions by your own fais, cousins etc that I don’t appreciate😤. If there was good news, my mum would be telling them no and sending mithai😂

One cousin often tells me how lucky I am and she wishes she never married and had kids. I find that really sad that she married/had two lovely boys out of her own choice, I didn’t have a choice when my ex left me so yeah people making comments don’t realise the effect their words will have.

I don’t know if I’ve said this to you before Mango. Falooda, I love reading your posts and it’s great how you reply to those who comment. Your perspective is always great to read💖

thanks pinkorchid; ❤️

I have gone from relatives asking questions to not asking questions at all (because I am single and older 😅). both reactions were difficult but over time, you get used to it.

like my mom says, we can't go and explain our journey to everyone. people assume things -- "oh, too picky!" "no money!" "too much expectations!" etc etc etc -- but only we know the ups and downs of our journey. I have been rejected for reasons like "too intelligent!" and "too reserved!". 🙄🙄

some of the the guys and families we met during the marriage market would have made dramas. they were that weird. but it is not like those making comments want to hear our experiences. so we say nothing and just tune them out.

I believe that God has a plan and purpose for me and so I am not defined by my relationship status or where I am in my journey of life. whatever happens will happen is my philosophy. so yea, there are low days but it is something that I have to remind myself of when that happens.

so yea, I would encourage you in the sense that you will get to a point where all these chatter will stop irritating you but to get there, it helps if you are positive and content first. at least that has been my experience. 😊

Originally posted by: aaradhaya1688

But ain't all the blame again going to be put on imlie the pregnant wife with the infertile bechaara husband

ya thats wht i m saying N will Q imlie for ckt but not think even one that oh may b they became lucky cos man can nvr b wrong so if son is infertile how can bahu becme pregnant? with someone else kid... if bahu is infertile son need to marry another woman