What's the best age to get married? - Page 11

Whatever age you feel you are ready - not just to commit to the person - but to their world as well. And the most important - are you ready to share a room lol....your bedroom will never be just yours again lol.

But there is no right age...it's when you are ready.

This is from my experience but

Imo, people who usually “get desperate” by age 40, 36 whatever are usually ones who haven’t fully built their self esteem or found fulfilment in other walks of life …it’s coz theirs this strange social stigma attached to being single that u “haven’t settled yet” or it’s assumed u have “a lonely life”

I know people who are 40 smiths and single and don’t regret a single thing because they find fulfilment in their career or have kids they single Handley take care of or they are happy being with their parents and taking care of them, or they are confident enough and don’t feel the need to fill that void since they have a good support system (friends and fam)

We should focus on empowering ppl to find that fulfilment and self esteem, not getting them married at the fear of being alone or options running out …by we I mean families , friends etc must stop looking at single ppl as someone who “needs to be fixed” of someone who has “missed the bus”

There is pros and cons to being married and being single too …neither is a perfect life so let’s stop making it seem like one is better than the other …

It’s not like all ur problems vanish after getting married …married ppl can also experience loneliness Fyi…in fact the problems will on my multiply if u marry for the wrong reasons / marry the wrong person

Take life as it comes , be compassionate and open minded …that’s it …

Originally posted by: pathaka

This is from my experience but

Imo, people who usually “get desperate” by age 40, 36 whatever are usually ones who haven’t fully built their self esteem or found fulfilment in other walks of life …it’s coz theirs this strange social stigma attached to being single that u “haven’t settled yet” or it’s assumed u have “a lonely life”

I know people who are 40 smiths and single and don’t regret a single thing because they find fulfilment in their career or have kids they single Handley take care of or they are happy being with their parents and taking care of them, or they are confident enough and don’t feel the need to fill that void since they have a good support system (friends and fam)

We should focus on empowering ppl to find that fulfilment and self esteem, not getting them married at the fear of being alone or options running out …by we I mean families , friends etc must stop looking at single ppl as someone who “needs to be fixed” of someone who has “missed the bus”

There is pros and cons to being married and being single too …neither is a perfect life so let’s stop making it seem like one is better than the other …

It’s not like all ur problems vanish after getting married …married ppl can also experience loneliness Fyi…in fact the problems will on my multiply if u marry for the wrong reasons / marry the wrong person

Take life as it comes , be compassionate and open minded …that’s it …

Totally agree. Having a healthy sense of self esteem and feeling empowered is the key. This is what I see around me as well. I know a few unmarried people in their 40s and 50s from work. They are happily single and dating or they live together without marriage. I don’t see any desperation. Once you learn to love yourself and truly learn to tune out what the world around you thinks is the norm, there is no desperation or regret.

Originally posted by: Chameli_billi

Totally agree. Having a healthy sense of self esteem and feeling empowered is the key. This is what I see around me as well. I know a few unmarried people in their 40s and 50s from work. They are happily single and dating or they live together without marriage. I don’t see any desperation. Once you learn to love yourself and truly learn to tune out what the world around you thinks is the norm, there is no desperation or regret.

Exactly I do understand loneliness is a thing but…ppl won’t feel lonely if they have a good support system (siblings , cousins , friends , kids, family , work mates) that they can build relationships with …it dosent have to be a romantic relationship that will cure all ur loneliness

But unfortuately , the kind of environment we Foster is where a single person gets invited to a social event and instead of having fun, we plague them with questions abt marriage and settling down …feel sorry for them …make them feel uncomfortable as though somethings wrong with them …..suffice to say that they will obviously avoid that social group going forward …and if everyone behaves that way they will avoid them all and eventually that’s when loneliness and depression kicks in

Make an environment where you don’t judge singles …parents don’t tell their single daughters that they are a burden …and the whole “desperation” goes away

No offense I have seen desperate single people! But they are the people who desperately want to get married but can’t.

Originally posted by: pathaka

Exactly I do understand loneliness is a thing but…ppl won’t feel lonely if they have a good support system (siblings , cousins , friends , kids, family , work mates) that they can build relationships with …it dosent have to be a romantic relationship that will cure all ur loneliness

But unfortuately , the kind of environment we Foster is where a single person gets invited to a social event and instead of having fun, we plague them with questions abt marriage and settling down …feel sorry for them …make them feel uncomfortable as though somethings wrong with them …..suffice to say that they will obviously avoid that social group going forward …and if everyone behaves that way they will avoid them all and eventually that’s when loneliness and depression kicks in

Make an environment where you don’t judge singles …parents don’t tell their single daughters that they are a burden …and the whole “desperation” goes away

Facts. I am 34 now. But when I was 22 and in grad school and was happily dating, one of my idiot female cousins literally said to me in my face, that I needed to stop studying so much and get married to my then boyfriend. At 22?! Are you effing kidding me? I gave her an earful and no one since then in my extended family brings up marriage to my face. There is just so much internalized patriarchy amongst women in our communities that I don’t even know where to begin. God bless their ignorant lives is all I say.

Originally posted by: Grumpydwarf24

No offense I have seen desperate single people! But they are the people who desperately want to get married but can’t.

I don’t deny there is desperate ppl …but the cure for desperation is self esteem and feeling satisfied with work and other relationships in life …Such as family , friends etc .

One can only be in a happy relationship if they are happy by themselves and their current environment first …if they look for a relationship to rescue them or fix all their problems , they are in for a crude reality check

Katrina mentioned in an interview that made so much sense …when she was with ranbir she was desperate for a relationship so she’d constantly expect him to make her happy , keep her happy etc which was too much pressure on him…which is unrealistic since U can’t hold a person responsible for your own happiness

The minute she became happy and comfortable with her own environment and stopped being desperate for a relationship to “fix her” and decided to take life as it comes - bam Vicky ..

How are you so sorted? No seriously, very well-balanced thoughts! Thanks! 🙌

Pata nahin kitne logon ne Bitter Moon movie dekhi hongi. Usmein ek phase dikhaate hain jahan protagonist ek hedonistic lifestyle mein ghus jaata hai. Meri life thodi thodi us type ki ho gayeli thi. Pan shaadi ke baad life mein kaafi thehraav aaya, aur except for independence, har aspect mein life better hui. Lekin I'm lucky, varna us movie ke couple jaisi life bhi ho sakti thi. 🤣

Agar already relationship mein ho then question is moot.

But if searching for a life partner, I'll say

Choose wisely, and choose timely, kyunki jaise jaise time niklenga, your compromises may start increasing...

Depends on the reason you want to get married. Your upbringing and personality plays an important role in the life you choose. If you are from typical Indian background, procreation is the main purpose of marriage, if that's your priority get married before 35. It usually guarantees healthy kids, hassle free pregnancy and by the time you become old, kids will be self reliant.

But if that's not your priority, first decide why you want to get married. It should not be because most of the people you know are married. You should decide whether you can share your life with someone and if you are ready wait patiently till you find the right person. Do not marry because you are lonely, because you can be lonely even after your marriage and alone in a crowd is the worst thing.

I got married because I don't have any other option to a male chaunist and loneliness was the worst thing happened to me in those three years. When I come out of it, I lost the desire to live, I was not sure why I should live. I was always a person with lack of self confidence and low self esteem and the failed marriage made the situation worse .

But fortunately after I reached the extreme I started loving myself. Now I know that as long as I have a healthy body I will have the zest to live. I love my own company and that could be the reason I rarely feel lonely despite of being alone for last 7 years. When I get proposal now I analyse that whether it will bring more happiness than the happiness and peace I experience now and the answer is no. Perhaps when I find the right person, I would understand that he is worth sharing my life. What I believe is marriage as such doesn't guarantee anything but if you are fortunate enough to find a right person it makes life lively.