Anupama's words to Vanraaj was music to my ears

This is the best episode of Anupama so far. I watch this show just for MaAn but today MaAn ain't the reason I am declaring this episode as the best of this serial. This episode is special because this is for the first time I have seen emotional abuse is shown as a crime in an ITV show. In our world even the litterate class don't consider emotional abuse as a crime. As long as a husband is providing financial security to his wife and not indulging in any physical violence his mental violence towards his wife is overlooked. Criticizing someone to insult him/her, disrespecting someone's likes/dislikes, making fun of someone's weakness, assassinating someone's character, making a person believe he/she is good for nothing to me is far more damaging than beating someone with a belt. Because you get sympathy if you are a physical violence survivor, you get help to heal if your body shows wounds but the wounds of your mind are not only invisible to the world, they are also non existent. A broken bone gets lots of sympathy but a broken confidence goes unnoticed. Today Anupama made it clear that she considers Vanraaj no better than Mukku's abuser and she will neither forgive nor forget how Vanraaj made her feel all those years. In the Bangla version the mental abuse was never acknowledged. I salute the writers for making it clear that mental torture counts. I really hope the makers don't change Vanraaj's character. An abuser never redeems. They only learn to put up a layer of a gentleman but beneath those layers the narcissistic abuser always keeps breathing.

Yes loved Anu there. Vanraj ko laga he can gain her trust again but Anu ne thank you bolke kya war kiya😆

Anupama after saying thankyou and then slapping vanraj by showing him his true face

Very well written post! The structure of Anupama’s dialogue was actually well said ..it created a sort of analytical approach to violence … what society or culture see as violence, how people (the abused and abuser) are programmed to view “norms” and violence, why non-physical violence is often overlooked but why it’s just as detrimental. It also, for the story, clarified Anu’s character arc.

I would like to make note of this part of your post: “making a person believe he/she is good for nothing to me is far more damaging than beating someone with a belt. Because you get sympathy if you are a physical violence survivor, you get help to heal if your body shows wounds but the wounds of your mind are not only invisible to the world, they are also non existent. A broken bone gets lots of sympathy but a broken confidence goes unnoticed.”

I respect your viewpoint but I feel like equating one type of violence as more or less detrimental defeats the purpose of this important conversation. One Acknowledging any form of violence as wrong allows people to raise their voice for the greater good. While physical violence is clearly visible, the effects last a very long time on someone’s psyche. Unfortunately, those physically hit are conditioned to believe that they deserve it. It’s almost like Pavlov’s dogs … where an abuser sees something in the abused as undesirable and punishes the abused. This creates a behavioral conditioning in the abused that whatever they do isn’t right. If it isn’t right, then they deserve their punishment. They’re wrong and bad. Ofc this leads to many other psychological discussion like Stockholm syndrome, personality disorders, etc.

An example of what I’m trying to say is rape - the effects of sexual abuse lasts for a lengthy time, even if the physical abuse has passed.

That moment of time, of any type of abuse or harassment, can feel as fresh as the day of for many survivors.

too little too late by anupama

this was after thought to please audience

no impact actually

What a beautiful analysis.

This is the best episode of Anupama so far. I watch this show just for MaAn but today MaAn ain't the reason I am declaring this episode as the best of this serial. This episode is special because this is for the first time I have seen emotional abuse is shown as a crime in an ITV show. In our world even the litterate class don't consider emotional abuse as a crime. As long as a husband is providing financial security to his wife and not indulging in any physical violence his mental violence towards his wife is overlooked.

Precisely what gives folks like Ladla the gumption after years of abuse to say sorry and shed crocodile tears and expect to be forgiven.

Criticizing someone to insult him/her, disrespecting someone's likes/dislikes, making fun of someone's weakness, assassinating someone's character, making a person believe he/she is good for nothing to me is far more damaging than beating someone with a belt.

Initially those around joined in the torture. Except Samar no one even thought it was not okay. Seeing the father and grandmother P1&2 too joined in. Hasmikh and Dolly were mute spectators.

Because you get sympathy if you are a physical violence survivor, you get help to heal if your body shows wounds but the wounds of your mind are not only invisible to the world, they are also non existent. A broken bone gets lots of sympathy but a broken confidence goes unnoticed.

We have a couplet in Tamizh that says scars caused by fire may heal but the scars left by a caustic tongue stays forever. The way Ladla ridiculed when Anupama asked to go on a ✈️ and see the sea must have made her feel unworthy. It is something we take for granted as a simple wish. Everytime Anupama pull her plait and smiles one senses her pat on her back. Something denied to her for years.

Today Anupama made it clear that she considers Vanraaj no better than Mukku's abuser and she will neither forgive nor forget how Vanraaj made her feel all those years.

The dent it causes to ones self esteem can never ever be forgotten or forgiven and it was lovely Anupama said that to Ladla across his face.

In the Bangla version the mental abuse was never acknowledged. I salute the writers for making it clear that mental torture counts. I really hope the makers don't change Vanraaj's character. An abuser never redeems. They only learn to put up a layer of a gentleman but beneath those layers the narcissistic abuser always keeps breathing.

The victim card that Ladla played for years hoodwinking the family and the manner in which he treated Anupama after the EMA expose and after the barabari partnership shows the extent to which Ladlas self love can take him. He is back to his old ways thinking he can easily manipulate Mukku.

Originally posted by: moksha89

Very well written post! The structure of Anupama’s dialogue was actually well said ..it created a sort of analytical approach to violence … what society or culture see as violence, how people (the abused and abuser) are programmed to view “norms” and violence, why non-physical violence is often overlooked but why it’s just as detrimental. It also, for the story, clarified Anu’s character arc.

I would like to make note of this part of your post: “making a person believe he/she is good for nothing to me is far more damaging than beating someone with a belt. Because you get sympathy if you are a physical violence survivor, you get help to heal if your body shows wounds but the wounds of your mind are not only invisible to the world, they are also non existent. A broken bone gets lots of sympathy but a broken confidence goes unnoticed.”

I respect your viewpoint but I feel like equating one type of violence as more or less detrimental defeats the purpose of this important conversation. One Acknowledging any form of violence as wrong allows people to raise their voice for the greater good. While physical violence is clearly visible, the effects last a very long time on someone’s psyche. Unfortunately, those physically hit are conditioned to believe that they deserve it. It’s almost like Pavlov’s dogs … where an abuser sees something in the abused as undesirable and punishes the abused. This creates a behavioral conditioning in the abused that whatever they do isn’t right. If it isn’t right, then they deserve their punishment. They’re wrong and bad. Ofc this leads to many other psychological discussion like Stockholm syndrome, personality disorders, etc.

An example of what I’m trying to say is rape - the effects of sexual abuse lasts for a lengthy time, even if the physical abuse has passed.

That moment of time, of any type of abuse or harassment, can feel as fresh as the day of for many survivors.

very well said Ridz. Any form of abuse is abuse and all forms must be acknowledged and gives its due importance. The criticality and intensity depends on that person, the situations, the being broken aspect (in any sense). Every abuse takes its own kind of toll on the person and there is no short cut to come out of this.

Originally posted by: -MOTHER-

This is the best episode of Anupama so far. I watch this show just for MaAn but today MaAn ain't the reason I am declaring this episode as the best of this serial. This episode is special because this is for the first time I have seen emotional abuse is shown as a crime in an ITV show. In our world even the litterate class don't consider emotional abuse as a crime. As long as a husband is providing financial security to his wife and not indulging in any physical violence his mental violence towards his wife is overlooked. Criticizing someone to insult him/her, disrespecting someone's likes/dislikes, making fun of someone's weakness, assassinating someone's character, making a person believe he/she is good for nothing to me is far more damaging than beating someone with a belt. Because you get sympathy if you are a physical violence survivor, you get help to heal if your body shows wounds but the wounds of your mind are not only invisible to the world, they are also non existent. A broken bone gets lots of sympathy but a broken confidence goes unnoticed. Today Anupama made it clear that she considers Vanraaj no better than Mukku's abuser and she will neither forgive nor forget how Vanraaj made her feel all those years. In the Bangla version the mental abuse was never acknowledged. I salute the writers for making it clear that mental torture counts. I really hope the makers don't change Vanraaj's character. An abuser never redeems. They only learn to put up a layer of a gentleman but beneath those layers the narcissistic abuser always keeps breathing.

Well thought through! Every abuse needs to be acknowledged, accepted, faced, talked through, punished, and then we can walk through the path of healing. Late, but nevertheless we are glad that they did bring this scene in and did some form of justice to abuse.