My words are in black; joliefemme replied in red; my replies are in green.
Raghav has been cancelled in the sense that there was a man who vowed to make Pallavi his priority, and he's no longer there. Didn't Pallavi also promise to make Raghav her priority but then what happened? She forgot that in light of her FARZ didn't she? She also broke her promises but I don't see why Raghav is put on such a pedestal that he cant break his promises? He also broke promises, so did she.
I shouldn't respond to whataboutism, but Pallavi didn't break any major promises and she always tried to communicate, unlike Raghav. While responding to an injury, Pallavi forgot that Raghav expected her at an awards ceremony that wasn't important to Raghav until that morning. For that minor offence, Jaya blocked Pallavi from apologizing to Raghav, and Raghav decided to get drunk so that only his voice was heard, not Pallavi's. At the time, I recognized Raghav's behaviour as domestic abuse and called it out.
Pallavi always prioritized Raghav. Priority means first, and first implies that there can be other commitments. Pallavi does not have to defer her conscience for Raghav. She decided to fulfill a duty to her father, and asked her priority Raghav to accept her decision. When she woke up after "suddenly falling asleep" at the Maṅgalā-Gaura, she called her priority Raghav and he snapped at her instead of worrying about her health. Contrast Pallavi with Raghav, who didn't even tell his so-called priority wife that he made the decision to get drunk and thus lose his inhibitions with his ex and let whatever happen. Instead, like other times when Raghav couldn't do whatever he wants and feel good about it too, he lashed out at his so-called priority Pallavi.
I haven't put Raghav on a pedestal. I have consistently said that it's not surprising that he would commit adultery because he has a history of breaking promises; he often makes poor decisions while drunk; and while he talks about his principles, his actions often don't match, even in the same scene. I still like the character enough to write fan fiction about him trying and failing, and trying again. In case someone thinks I'm picking on Raghav, I'll say that one time when Raghav was driving drunk and endangering innocent people on the road, Pallavi also got drunk and endangered her own life at home.🤪
It is total speculation on your part that "nothing happened" will be revealed about the sex act(s), but what about all the betrayals by Raghav that were shown on screen? Yes we are talking about a situation when they will confirm that nothing happened. The audience may not be mature enough to accept Pallavi forgive Raghav for an ONS out of a drunken mistake. What kind of betrayals are you talking about? I have given instances where Pallavi has done the same with Mandar. Only difference being she was honest and Raghav is not. Hence you see he has to go through a path of redemption while Pallavi didn't have to. I cant make my views anymore clearer than this.
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In no way is Raghav's behaviour comparable to Pallavi with Mandar. Why isnt it comparable. I have given you all instances, yes the severity is different and no one is denying that. Everyone here unanimously agrees Raghav needs to repent and grovel and naak ragdo to get her forgiveness.
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Pallavi drank one cup of tea with Mandar in a public place. Raghav drank alcohol in private and lost his inhibitions to the point that he remembers doing something that he should only have done with Pallavi. Wasn't Pallavi in a drugged state in Mandar's room sleeping on his lap holding his hand asking him to not leave her. She said all that for Raghav, similarly in a drunken state Raghav was only imagining Pallavi. After Amma and Raghav leave Pallavi in Mandar's room, Aayi promises to take care of her but she leaves the next second and Mandar is still in the room with Pallavi. How do we know nothing happened becayse Pallavi doesn't remember a thing by her own admission.
Telling his wife that someone was a classmate/friend when she was a lover = betrayal. Planning to sleep in the same room with a woman who said she loved him and rejected her husband sexually for him, letting her hug him, agreeing to drink excessively with her = betrayal. Getting drunk after promising his wife he wouldn't = betrayal. Not telling his wife that he woke up naked with another woman and remembers substituting the woman for his wife = betrayal. Not addressing the possibility that his wife will have a stepchild (e.g. asking the other woman to take the morning-after pill) = betrayal. Allowing his wife to bring the other woman home without knowing about the adultery = betrayal. Making his wife feel undesirable rather than admit that he feels defiled = betrayal. Telling his sister to keep the adultery a secret from his wife = betrayal. Planning a honeymoon without getting tested for sexually transmitted diseases = betrayal. Sorry if I left out one or more examples; I didn't watch this track, but what I've read on this forum about Raghav's behaviour is so different from how I imagine him behaving in my fan fiction when Raghav is accused of infidelity to Pallavi and then finds out that Pallavi is leaving him for Mandar, and he articulates his feelings about his own chastity and Pallavi's chastity.
Pallavi never did "the same" of any of the above with Mandar. Your effort to draw parallels depends on false equivalencies such as matching tea to hard liquor and matching someone who unknowingly consumed a drug with someone who chose to get drunk. These are not the same actions with different degrees of severity; they're fundamentally different situations.
I want to follow the forum rules and not comment on any member's values. So ... my abstract opinion is that the difference between honest and dishonest is enough to negate any impression of parallels between Pallavi's and Raghav's actions, and I don't think anyone who disagrees needs to make it clearer for me.
Pallavi went out of her way never to betray Raghav even symbolically. It was ridiculous writing, but Pallavi wouldn't burn Raghav's photograph and managed to set her saree on fire, and Pallavi danced while Raghav aimed a gun at Mandar so that she wouldn't have to sign divorce papers. I don't condone what Pallavi did at all. If she had a good reason to fear for her life, and she massaged Mandar or let him do her pleats, or even had sex with Mandar, I would sympathize with her because of the situation. Raghav got kissed without his consent, and I sympathize with his victimhood for that, but sex acts take time and effort, and whatever he did in that category was because he drank until he gave consent without caring that he had to pretend that another woman was Pallavi.
Raghav should come clean and repent and grovel because it's wrong to deceive Pallavi, not because he wants forgiveness. I don't think Raghav's behaviour deserves forgiveness, and that's different from saying I'm not mature enough to accept a forced happy ending.
None of the flashbacks Raghav gets shows anything implying the whole act was committed. He just assumed the worse and even if it did happen, he was in an inebriated state and Esha clearly violated him. I don't see half the uproar that happened when Pallavi was violated in the pleat scene. Why the double standards when the victim is male?
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This is not women vs. men. Honest and caring people get more leeway than those who act guilty by keeping shameful secrets. Yes I agree it is not a man vs woman thing but here Raghav isn't getting any sympathy because he is man. I myself have made this mistake of not realising he was violated by Esha until hapc made her post on this perspective. This is how deeply ingrained gender stereotypes are. My stand and my position on whether a spouse can be forgiven or not is not colored by gender bias.
We can't expect to see simulated sex, but when Raghav repeatedly says that he got carried away by his feelings, we can believe him.
In the first episode, Raghav's date was shown unbuttoning him, and he said that they had had dinner, wine, and "fun," and that love isn't something that happens in the back seat of a car. In that case, we could assume that their "fun" was a sex act that happened in the back seat, or we could insist that we can't believe it unless it's shown. But in the present story, has Raghav ever said, "I assume, I guess, I suppose ...?" Or has he always emphatically confessed that what shouldn't have happened happened?
Raghav wasn't expecting the kiss; he was violated by that. However, one drunk person pretending that the other drunk person was his wife doesn't make him or her the victim of whatever sex acts they perform together while uninhibited but conscious. The alcohol made Raghav not care about morals or consequences; it didn't make him helpless or unaware of what he was doing.
You are bringing up male/female, not I. Let me be clear: Pallavi being drugged and misrepresented by Mandar is a parallel to Raghav being drugged and posed by Anjali. Amruta getting intoxicated with Yogesh and having consensual unprotected sex is a parallel to Raghav getting intoxicated with his ex and having consensual unprotected sex.
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Even when Pallavi wanted Mandar to think that she desired him, she wouldn't massage him or allow him to pleat her saree. Raghav came to the guest room at night, gave his ex a long hug, and sneaked out because he was doing something wrong. Did you not see Mandar gave a hug to Pallavi and it was a very tight hug, I hate to point this out but I was quite triggered by the hug. There were a lot of times Mandar has touched Pallavi but she didn't take a stand because she didn't feel violated (for lack of a better term). Raghav's actions did come across as shady but he was emotionally manipulated so badly by Esha, again the same way Pallavi was - in fact I feel Pallavi was less manipulated but felt a sense of moral duty to help Mandar.
If you're triggered by a hug, but Pallavi isn't ashamed of it, I don't consider it a betrayal. If Raghav innocently hugged his ex to comfort her, that's not the same as a hug that he felt the need to hide from his wife.
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People who are guilty but are whole heartedly repenting deserve a second change. We don't live in an idealistic world and humans make mistakes and are selfish but you cant cancel everyone without giving chances.
Holding someone accountable and ending a relationship doesn't "cancel" the person. No one owes another person a second chance. Especially not in the form of sexual access. If Pallavi chooses to forgive or not forgive Raghav, either way, it's her sexual expression, which is her fundamental human right. Saying, "you can't cancel everyone without giving chances" is shaming those who choose not to be fooled twice. Let magnanimity be a choice, not a requirement.
Bhabhi Ji Ghar Pe Hain?
