My two cents on Alia Bhatt's Controversial Ad - Page 14

Originally posted by: Zeal17

Badass or not I believe wedding should be about couple only.. so I really enjoyed this wedding and engraved in my memory. As a Kid I used to say maine bhi aise hi karni hai lol.

As an adult you think of doing the same now?

Originally posted by: hotchoco

Why is that when women say they find some ways they are treated to be offensive and derogatory, an army of men rush in to convince them it's not? Things women are personally affected by (and men do not face) are dismissed with audacious mansplaining sermons given to teach women how they are really wrong and should just accept their fate since it's ancient/religious/tradition and you see, the women just don't understand it enough.

When that fails comes the argument that it's really men that are the victims in the modern world. What about them, huh? What about those 1% of cases which are dramatically rising to 2%??

Next step is #NotAllMen. Others might be bad but I am not. Believe me because I say so.

Every single one of these is a bad-faith argument and not actual engagement. Just derailing women speaking out about the discrimination and challenges they have to face including fighting against misogynist/sexist old customs. Instead of doing that, they have to stop constantly to coddle upset men because they can never not be the center of attention.

Reminds me of a post at quora where an American woman had related her terrible experience being married to an Indian man. There was one guy who was mansplaining to each and every comment on that thread, to married Indian women - “Maam, we are not like this, maa’m” 🤣

Answer to What is it like for a foreigner to be married to an Indian? by Jackie Beste

https://www.quora.com/What-is-it-like-for-a-foreigner-to-be-married-to-an-Indian/answer/Jackie-Beste?ch=15&oid=197012467&share=7628249a&srid=ueUux&target_type=answer

Originally posted by: hotchoco

Why is that when women say they find some ways they are treated to be offensive and derogatory, an army of men rush in to convince them it's not? Things women are personally affected by (and men do not face) are dismissed with audacious mansplaining sermons given to teach women how they are really wrong and should just accept their fate since it's ancient/religious/tradition and you see, the women just don't understand it enough.

When that fails comes the argument that it's really men that are the victims in the modern world. What about them, huh? What about those 1% of cases which are dramatically rising to 2%??

Next step is #NotAllMen. Others might be bad but I am not. Believe me because I say so.

Every single one of these is a bad-faith argument and not actual engagement. Just derailing women speaking out about the discrimination and challenges they have to face including fighting against misogynist/sexist old customs. Instead of doing that, they have to stop constantly to coddle upset men because they can never not be the center of attention.

Let’s burn our bras 🔥

Your right

See Kanya daan and calling girls paraya DHAN(wealth) is never beautiful but Karwachauth and Rakhshabandhan are actually beautiful rituals....I observe Teej similar to KC but more difficult.....but but but...I do it because my husband is totally worth it.❤️...and I want to get him in all saat janams....my husband is terrified of the idea though..🤣He is like...yaar saat janam thoda jyada nahi ho gaya...lol....jokes apart...what is the problem if a wife is fasting for her husband...provided that the husband is totally worth it and no one is forcing the wife to fast...I keep it out of my own will...People who know me, know that no one in this entire world other than my 2 babies can make me do anything against my own will...even my parents couldn't have given me in daan...if I had put my foot down...point being these are sweet rituals...why would any one stop these??

Quote

The custom of KC (or Teej) is still patriarchal because traditionally men are not required to fast for their wife's long life. Why is that beautiful? This seems like a classic case of sadda kutta Tommy twada kutta kutta.

Kanyadaan is also been removed by girls who don't want to perform it. If a girl out of her choice wants it to be a part of her wedding rituals, that should also be sweet and not derogatory by your post's logic.

Edit: I don't know why blue.ice 1 didn't get tagged in this since I quoted her.

Originally posted by: Autumn_Rose

Reminds me of a post at quora where an American woman had related her terrible experience being married to an Indian man. There was one guy who was mansplaining to each and every comment on that thread, to married Indian women - “Maam, we are not like this, maa’m” 🤣

Answer to What is it like for a foreigner to be married to an Indian? by Jackie Beste

https://www.quora.com/What-is-it-like-for-a-foreigner-to-be-married-to-an-Indian/answer/Jackie-Beste?ch=15&oid=197012467&share=7628249a&srid=ueUux&target_type=answer

lol, white men are the same with all the #NotAllMen crap. The original Nice Guy trope is based on white guys who are convinced they are nice when they are not.

But in general, desi men are way more entitled than white guys because there is a whole ecosystem that supports them. Indian men are the most privileged people on earth but even that is not enough for them. They are forever victimized. It's not surprising that India has so many embarrassing Mens' Rights organizations.

Originally posted by: AwaamKiJaan

As an adult you think of doing the same now?

Tbh apart from star studded entry.. All the taam jhaam that couple had in the wedding was waste of money.

A wedding should be a simple temple or court wedding with only immediate family. After that One party for relatives and friends that too not every mauhalla & acquaintances being called.

Our society is such a tuchi waste that even if we do party in 7 star hotel they will find some fault. Couple are better off spending money on themselves and their future.

My personal opinion on the second part of the debate about marriage is simple. I have no expectations of my invisible husband to take care of my mum. Caring for my mother is my responsibility alone. Similarly, I shouldn’t be expected to take care of my in laws because that responsibility falls on my non-existent husband. If my spouse wants to take care of my family then that’s on him. By no means does that mean I should be obligated to do the same. It’s like, if he wants to start calling my mum ‘Mummy’, then that’s his choice and personal autonomy. I shouldn’t be pressured or expected to return the favour.

Also, if the situation arises where my mum needs full-time care, then once again I’ll cater to her needs. If my invisible husband wants to help then I’ll be thankful but I will never force, pressure or emotionally manipulate him to do so. Likewise, if his parents need care then I will definitely try my best to help him but only because I choose too.

Of course not choosing to live with your in laws by no means implies that you’re being disrespectful. I’ll always be kind, generous and respectful to his parents because I’d want my mum to be treated in the same manner. I’ll never stop or question how my partner takes care of his parents. That’s not my place to intervene, unless he’s mistreating or neglecting them, then the fucker will know my wrath.

Thank you for reading. 🙏

Okay bye 👋🏼

Originally posted by: PranPriye

See Kanya daan and calling girls paraya DHAN(wealth) is never beautiful but Karwachauth and Rakhshabandhan are actually beautiful rituals....I observe Teej similar to KC but more difficult.....but but but...I do it because my husband is totally worth it.❤️...and I want to get him in all saat janams....my husband is terrified of the idea though..🤣He is like...yaar saat janam thoda jyada nahi ho gaya...lol....jokes apart...what is the problem if a wife is fasting for her husband...provided that the husband is totally worth it and no one is forcing the wife to fast...I keep it out of my own will...People who know me, know that no one in this entire world other than my 2 babies can make me do anything against my own will...even my parents couldn't have given me in daan...if I had put my foot down...point being these are sweet rituals...why would any one stop these??

Quote

The custom of KC (or Teej) is still patriarchal because traditionally men are not required to fast for their wife's long life. Why is that beautiful? This seems like a classic case of sadda kutta Tommy twada kutta kutta.

Kanyadaan is also been removed by girls who don't want to perform it. If a girl out of her choice wants it to be a part of her wedding rituals, that should also be sweet and not derogatory by your post's logic.

Edit: I don't know why blue.ice 1 didn't get tagged in this since I quoted her.

Yaar.. hum apni lambi umar ke liye fast kyun nai karte?😆

Bu I think what this fasting for long life is coming from - because in olden days.. mortality rate was much higher and men had to go for fighting etc.. widowed women had miserable or no lives then.

Life used to be very harsh and women were vulnerable without the protection of men..

Also, I don't know where this concept of "hindu phobia" is coming from. The ones who are criticising it are the ones who are involved with it.

If a Muslim woman says she doesn't like being forced to cover up; or how unfair triple talaq and halala is.. she is not Islamophobic?

The question is, being free to choose and not performing a custom if you don't wish to.

Has anyone watched Al Rawabi school for girl? I'd recommend it - look at what Patriarchy does to women.

Alia is becoming controversy queen 😆

Originally posted by: PranPriye

See Kanya daan and calling girls paraya DHAN(wealth) is never beautiful but Karwachauth and Rakhshabandhan are actually beautiful rituals....I observe Teej similar to KC but more difficult.....but but but...I do it because my husband is totally worth it.❤️...and I want to get him in all saat janams....my husband is terrified of the idea though..🤣He is like...yaar saat janam thoda jyada nahi ho gaya...lol....jokes apart...what is the problem if a wife is fasting for her husband...provided that the husband is totally worth it and no one is forcing the wife to fast...I keep it out of my own will...People who know me, know that no one in this entire world other than my 2 babies can make me do anything against my own will...even my parents couldn't have given me in daan...if I had put my foot down...point being these are sweet rituals...why would any one stop these??

Quote

The custom of KC (or Teej) is still patriarchal because traditionally men are not required to fast for their wife's long life. Why is that beautiful? This seems like a classic case of sadda kutta Tommy twada kutta kutta.

Kanyadaan is also been removed by girls who don't want to perform it. If a girl out of her choice wants it to be a part of her wedding rituals, that should also be sweet and not derogatory by your post's logic.

Edit: I don't know why blue.ice 1 didn't get tagged in this since I quoted her.

You still don't get it...do you??😆 You really don't get the difference between being called someone's property which can be given away in daan....and doing a fast WILLFULLY for the long life of someone you love? If someone is being forced to fast for a douchebag husband .....even a sweet tradition like KC becomes horrible....