The man clad in a seemingly expensive three piece suit was running through the corridors of the hospital like a barraging rhinoceros on a hunt. People scattered to let the clearly deranged man pass through before he could collide and send someone flying across. He took a sharp left turn which was so smooth that it would make any athlete envious and skidded to a freezing halt in front of the glass doors of the private chamber. He barely noticed the people standing huddled in the corner as he forced his suddenly disobedient feet towards the glass partition as his eyes refused to leave the sight of the person inside.
Raghav Rao was not a man who could be ruffled very easily. His emotions were as scarce as drizzles on a desert yet if anyone were to notice him now they could very easily gauge what the other person meant to him. His face had literally turned white and for a second his bodyguard, the one so graciously nicknamed as 'Gorilla' took a silent step forward ready to catch him lest h collapses. But somehow Raghav kept his balance as he slowly stumbled towards the glass and kept a steadying hand on it.
His eyes were wide and the fear inside them shone so glaringly that it's presence itself was terrifying. Raghav Rao never showed any ounce of fear in any circumstances be it a gun pressed to his temple ready to fire... yet now it seemed to be brimming with it. He swallowed painfully and opened his mouth to speak but no words would come out. His throat felt like someone has rubbed it with sandpaper and his wind pipe had started constricting.
The person lying on the bed lifelessly inside the chamber was hooked with a paraphernalia of machines and most of the visible body was wrapped in bandages and casts. It was a heart wrenching sight. Raghav could almost hear the fragile breaths drawn inside the room as a direct consequence of the ventilator at which the person was put. He barely registered the Surgeon coming to stand beside him.
"I am sorry Mr. Rao. We tried a hell lot but it was nearly impossible. The car was going at such break neck speed that the impact felt a severe injury to the chest, back and legs. Its a critical condition. We need to monitor 24/7."
Raghav felt his knees almost buckle as he supported himself against the glass like a weakened creeper. The stinging barbs of despair and a gut wrenching grief gripped his heart tightly enough to initialize another panic attack. He could feel his head start to spin slowly. He barely heard the following words of the doctor. Something about lungs collapsing, ribs breaking... leg fracture, ear damage... he must have blanked for a second because the next moment as his vision returned he saw himself seated in the waiting chair.
"Anna..."
Harish's round face in front, his eyebrows crinkled in worry. He felt water on his face. Harish was sprinkling water over him. Had he fainted?
"I'm okay.."
He whispered with much difficulty and slumped forward to rest the heels of his hands on his eyes and support his hands on his knees. His posture screamed defeat. He could hear his men shifting uncomfortably beside him yet none of them dared to say a single word.
He wondered why he couldn't breathe.
Suddenly as if on cue he heard running feet. A familiar rhythm of footsteps he would recognize anywhere and at any given time in any situation. He sprang up from his seat frightening his men and looked towards the bend on the corridor wildly and saw her skid to a stop just like he had a few hours ago... minutes ago? How long has he been sitting here? Suffocating in silence. Her eyes were wide as well, looking straight into his. The same grief mirrored in the beautiful grey brown irises. Her open hair fluttered in the icy cold conditioned air from above. Her soft chest was heaving due to the exertion from running nonstop.
He felt the tight control he had exercised on his restrains burst open like an overburdened dam and he broke into a run towards her. She sprinted at the same instant and both collided in the middle of the corridor. Raghav almost fell over her and she enveloped his larger frame in her arms crushing him close to herself as he buried his face in her shoulders. She was stammering something incoherent while rubbing her hands up and down his back soothingly and he felt his tears soak her canary yellow saree.
Pallavi saw the few men standing at a distance start to shift and look here and there in embarrassment as if they had invaded the couple's privacy. It wasn't surprising. He might mark this day on their calendars. They had never seen their stoic and perpetually furious boss cry. Pallavi blinked at them from Raghav's shoulder and felt her tears roll down as her husband's incessant sobbing increased in her neck.
"Raghav.. Raghav... please calm down.. lets sit okay.. here.. lets.."
She somehow managed to detach from him and made him sit and took a seat beside him still holding his hand and rubbing his shoulder reassuringly. She made him drink water from the bottle Harish gave her and started wiping his face with her saree's pallu gently. Their men had mercifully left them alone. He looked completely devastated. As if someone had pulled his soul out of his body. And Pallavi was painfully reminded that it wasn't far from the truth.
"Raghav..."
"It was my fault."
"No! Absolutely not. We are not doing it again Raghav. Stop blaming yourself for every single thing. He knew what he was doing.."
Raghav looked away feeling tears slide down his face again.
"No Pallavi! It was my bloody fault. He told me not to go through with this. Pillai is a maniac. Not to make an enemy out of him. But that ba*tard was getting on my nerves. I had to do something."
He wiped his face and spoke through his hands, his voice choked and muffled in a soft agony which coursed through his wife's body as well.
"It should've been me.. it should've... I sent him in my car. It was supposed to be his first trip to his sister's in laws.. I sent him.... He was so excited. You should've seen his face... he couldn't stop talking about his new born niece... I... It was my bloody... it should've been me.."
Pallavi scrunched her eyes close at that as fresh tears cascaded down her pale face. She couldn't believe it when she heard it the first time. She had taken the first car she could find and made a mad dash to the hospital. The receptionist had screamed the room number at her before she could even ask just as she had burst through the doors. Perks of being married to Raghav Rao, she thought. She couldn't even wait for the elevator and had taken the stairs. It was on the sixth floor but she didn't care. She had to reach fast.
She already knew how her husband would react on seeing him.
And then she had reached, heart at the point of bursting out of her chest as the exerted breathing had become almost painful. She had seen Raghav jump up seeing her and the next moment she knew what would happen. His eyes had glazed over, crystallizing and she made the last sprint towards him before gathering his weakened frame in herself.
Pallavi mustered up courage and walked towards the glass partition to see him. Her breath stuck in her chest as she felt like someone had gutted her painfully when she caught sight of the person lying like a corpse on the starched white sheets.
"Farhad..."
She put her hand on the glass and bit her trembling lips. She felt him beside her and risked a glance towards him and regretted it immediately. He looked drained and his handsome was face blotched and red. She couldn't begin to imagine what he must be going through right now. For the world Farhad Ahmed was Raghav Rao's trusted secretary and confidante. Yes, people were aware that Raghav favoured his secretary a lot but they didn't know that the bond which they shared went far beyond professionalism and begrudging friendship. Pallavi knew. She had seen both of them at their best and at their worst.
She knew the place Farhad held in her husband's life. He was a part of Raghav. Literally as well as figuratively. She remembered a moment when Raghav had told her about Farhad's importance in his life.
"He is not my right hand man Pallavi. He is my right hand itself. If something were to happen to him, I would be crippled for life. Farhad is the centre piece of my empire. If he is removed my kingdom would crack and cave in like a shattered structure from the inside. I can't loose Farhad Pallavi... I simply cant."
And here he was, lying unresponsive and broken in front of them. Raghav looked at his wife and sighed. He and Pallavi were not in the best of terms from a few months now. Their ideological differences regarding his style of working had sowed the first seeds of an unrest in their relationship. Pallavi saw the world as black and white. For her, her ethics and morals were of principal priority. She couldn't compromise on her values. Raghav on the other hand had witnessed the world at its worst. He had been taught by the cruel circumstances of his life that it was a dog eat dog world. Survival of the fittest. Never mind how you cement your position. He operated mostly on the grey. For him, money mattered a lot. And he couldn't give up on the ways he had so painstakingly created his empire. Both were right and both were wrong at the same time.
Thus, the emotional distance which had started creeping in between them. Raghav was crushed from the inside. He had been trying hard to hide his pain and his suffering going on the daily challenges and angsty fights with his wife but of late, it had started taking a toll on him. The outside world was a battlefield enough and he didn't need his home turned into one. He was confused, scared and tired. From the dark circles under Pallavi's eyes and the pain in her countenance he knew she was as well.
Farhad's accident was the last straw which broke the camel's back. He couldn't take it any more.
"I am tired Pallavi.."
She looked at him slightly confused and he dragged his feet inside the chamber, to the seat beside his supine friend and she followed him beside. He took her hands in his and rubbed his thumb over them softly. Pallavi drew in a sharp breath. How she had missed his touch these few months! She felt like an affection starved puppy which would revel in the slightest softness in his touch. He brought her hands to his lips and kissed them. She felt his tear over them and her heart burned.
"Raghav.."
"Pallavi.. main thak chuka hoon iss sab se. I don't want to fight with you any more. If you want me to change my ways I will. I will sell off everything, pay the missed customs and even the evaded taxed. I might go bankrupt and Jayati Jewells would probably be bought or absorbed.. I don't know I'll have to meet with the board of directors.. I will even go to jail if you want... but aur ye chuha billi ka khel nhi ho raha merese... I can't do it. Please lets just... lets just make up. I'll do whatever you say.."
Pallavi's heart broke resoundingly hearing the defeat ring in his voice. This is not how she wanted things to happen. She didn't want him to tire out and give up. She thought she could change his way of working a bit so that they don't have to continuously look behind their backs all life. Maybe in the fight to win, both had forgotten their original reasons. It had become more of a I win or you win kind of face off. She sighed tiredly and thought about the crushing loneliness she had felt the past few months without him.
She brought their clasped hands to her lips now and kissed over his knuckles. She heard his stutter in the breath and smiled thinking she still had that effect over her husband. Good to know.
"I don't want you to do everything I say Raghav.. I never wanted that. I don't want you to sacrifice your entire life for fulfilling my moralities. I understand your perspective. For me to preach about values and ethics is easy but I have never had to face what you have gone through in life. And I.. I am proud of the success you have achieved Raghav."
He looked up at her sharply, bewildered. She smiled slightly and touched his tear streaked face lovingly. He closed his eyes automatically feeling her love after what felt like centuries.
"I really am. You are a self made man and I understand your need to continue what you are doing. I am not opposed to you earning money. I am just opposed to the shady ways you do it. Once, you might have required doing it and I am not judging you for that. I would never judge you for that. I respect you Raghav... I respect who you are, and your struggle, your hardships.. everything. What I cannot digest however is the added danger to your work. The work you do, how you do it is very dangerous. Mujhe usi ka dar hain..."
Raghav opened his eyes and saw her looking at him through the thin film of a familiar liquid in her beautiful eyes. He tugged her and she went and curled in his lap. After what seemed like a millennia both felt truly at peace. Pallavi leaned her head against his chest over his heart and tucked her head neatly under his chin. He held her close to himself immediately.
"Raghav... dekho Farhad ke saath jo hua woh bht bura hua.. nhi hona chahiye tha. Tumhaare taqleef ki main toh andazaa bhi nhi laga sakti... I cannot compare my grief with yours. Mujhe itni taqleef ho rahi hain.. and I have known this man for only somewhat.. eight months? And you both have been together for seven years? He is your brother... aaj agar tum Mr. Pillai se dushmani nhi karte toh ye hota hi nhi.. and this thing you told me. I am not blaming you. This isn't your fault. But you would be blaming yourself for this incident for life. I know you husband. Don't even think of lying to me."
Raghav who had been on the process of lying shut up and she grinned tiredly. He smiled sadly and looked at Farhad's face. He looked peaceful. As if asleep. The hand which he was clutching Farhad's limp hand relaxed momentarily and Pallavi raised her head from his chest and cradled his face gently.
"Raghav you might think me infinitely selfish but I would say I am thankful to Farhad.. eternally thankful. I am pained because he got hurt yes. Par.. par agar aaj Farhad ki jagah tumhe kuch ho jata naa.."
Her voice broke painfully and she could not control the outflow of the tears which drenched her face as a result. She couldn't begin to explain to him what would've happened to her had it been Raghav who would be lying in Farhad's place. Broken, battered and struggling to live. Raghav pulled her to his chest again understanding her unspoken plea. Yet she wanted him to hear that. Somewhere she wanted herself to hear that too. The indescribable fear she had been hiding inside herself for far too long.
"You know, since the day Abhishekh was killed, I started having these frequent nightmares of him dying over and over again. And me standing there helpless. I was so scared all the time. But once I got to know about your business I started seeing you instead of him. And forget about fear, my chest would ache so much after I woke up, that I am unable to breathe properly. Maine bedroom badal liya tha.... Amma ke saath so rahi thi itne din isliye aankh khulti toh tumhe dekh bhi nhi paati. Aur panic aur badh jataa tha... There was one particularly nasty nightmare I saw. I couldn't sleep for a wink that night or the following, or the day after. It was so scary Raghav... to think that you have the slightest possibility of such a gruesome death over your head."
Raghav had tears in his eyes hearing this. So those dark circles were not only for the resulting tiredness from their emotional tug of war. He gripped her tightly as if he wanted to mix her with himself, hide her under his skin so that he himself is unable to hurt her. She whimpered a bit at his pressure and he reluctantly but instantly released her. Yet she kept on sticking with him like a limpet. Refusing to let go of him. He wrapped his arm around her lightly and kissed over her head several times.
"I am sorry Pallavi.. maine aise perspective se socha hi nhi.. I was just so mad at that time. Mujhe laga you want me to change....and I thought you couldn't accept me like I am. That hurt me a lot.. isliye shayad.."
"I love you Raghav. I love you the way you are. I would always love you. I would sooner leave my own heart behind than I would leave you. I cannot do that. I know I have been cruel in the past. I have a lot to account for as well. I am sorry. I should have thought about my own hypocrisies while pointing a finger at you. I had no right to question your morals after I blindsided what Sulochana Kaku did, what Baba did, what even Aai did.. but I am just so scared. Agar aaj Farhad ke jagah tum hote na Raghav toh main mar jaati. Mujhse ye bardaash hi nhi hota. Tumhe kuch ho gaya toh main jeete ji mar jaungi."
"Hush... aisa nhi bolte..."
Raghav shushed her kissing on the top of her head again. He raised her blotched face from his chest and wiped her cheeks gently and pressed a kiss on her forehead softly.
"Theek hain.. main samajh gaya... ek kaam karte hain.... lets find a middle ground. Mujhe mera business chalana hain aur tumhe mera risk lena pasand nhi.. illegal dhande mein risk hoga.. toh main ek kaam karta hain.. I will wipe out my smuggling side from the business. Aaj ke baad se.. infact from this moment, we will pay all the customs and the taxes. I'll do a complete haul over and clean up the mess. Kuch time lagega... because my network has a lot of people.. unhe chudana will be difficult but I'll take the straightest methods I can find. Then we'll do it the right way. No smuggling... but evasions and baaki cheezein business mein common hain Pallavi. Woh toh karna padega.. information ka network bhi banaya hota hain sabka.. market ko play karne mein stock brokers ko paise diye rakhta hain sabhi.. woh bhi illegl cheezein hain but.. no risk. No danger to life there... happy..?"
She smashed her lips against his with such fervour as an answer to his question that he almost toppled over with her. Pallavi was so elated that she had absolutely forgotten where they were. And Raghav receiving the first kiss of his life which literally had the power to sweep him off his feet would be the last candidate for awareness at this stage. Specially after he had been on a no touch ban for at least a month from his beautiful wife.
He kissed her back eagerly as she clutched the hair at the nape of his neck and he pulled her closer. Pallavi moaned in the kiss as he drove his tongue inside her soft pliant mouth and rolled it over all her nooks and crannies with relish.
"Hayye Allah miyaa! Ye khoobsurat moment dikhaane keliye aapka lakh lakh shukriya. Aaj main bht khush hoon.. even though agar mujhe trauma ke karan phirse behosh hona padeh... lage rahiye Anna.. isi wajah se Amma aur meri khwayish puri ho jaegi.."
Raghav and Pallavi jumped apart in shock and stared at the only other person present in the room. Their faces burst in liberal flames and changed shades to a deep maroon so quick that Farhad thought his head might spin. Pallavi jumped out of Raghav's lap and literally ran around the bed to come to the other side. She held Farhad's hand as happy tears replaced the initial embarrassment of getting caught snogging her husband.
"Farhad! Deva! Thank God! Do you have any idea how worried we were? Thank God... are you feeling okay..? Oh what stupid question am I asking? Of course you would be in pain.. wait I'll tell the nurse.. can increase your morphine levels.. I'll go call the doctor.. stay put. Don't close your eyes. You scared at the hell out of us!"
"Calm down bhabi. I am completely fine. Okay.. may be not completely. But I will be okay. Don't worry. I am feeling even better. Had I known that it would have taken my hospitalization for you two to patch up I would've done something sooner."
Pallavi glared at him and was about to tell him off regarding the poor comment but Raghav bet her to it.
"I'll kill you Farhad! You complete moron! You idiot! You bloody f**king ba*tard! How dare you! One day! One bloody day I give you a leave and you end up in the hospital! I am telling you, if you even think about doing this sort of thing again I will kill you with my bare hands and save the doctors the worthless effort!"
Farhad and Pallavi looked on bewildered and scared as Raghav spewed on unintelligent gibberish in Telegu following his long rant of threats. Pallavi finally went and pulled his hand screaming at him to shut up. He promptly closed his mouth yet he was heaving in the ensuing effort.
"Anna.."
Farhad began in a meek voice but Raghav shouted at him one more time before storming off, banging off the door with such strength that it rattled both the occupants to their teeth and broke a few glasses in reflex probably.
"Just shut the f**k up!"
To be continued
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