Spineless family members - Page 4

Originally posted by: Yuvishka123

Why is priya's mom so regressive and she will make a fool of herself and her children thats all she does. I mean she is fine with priya's sister marrying her ex . She tolerates whatever nonsense her horrible husband speaks. I mean even if one day priya's father comes back and says I want to  be with u . She will accept him and take him back. I feel priya's mother is much more horrible and worse than mahendra sood and neeraj😡

wont say worse, tbh i liked her when she did take stand for priya once even if not for herself. like when mahendra sood was badmouthing n she opposed him. but when it comes to herself , 0 self-respect. i m still neutral about her but i really like it when she speaks up for priya’s support!

that scene was funny how she was crying when shivina’s report came negative because priya wont be able to marry. priya’s mom is really weird - sometimes she is likeable but totally useless when she doesnt speak up or doesnt speak sense. n yes definately has a regressive mentality.

Edited by RandomWaliLadki - 2 years ago

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

very true; people think marriage is the only solution but for some, it is actually the start to their problems instead. 

yea I really don't understand why they are running like a shatabdi express. is this supposed to be a short series? I don't get it at all. normally ekta kapoor serials, one conversation will take place over multiple episodes with camera freeze shots on every person. hahahah.. one day wedding will be covered for 15+ episodes or something like that 🤣... 

Bold: And most people don't care about that problem

Yes normally ekta kapoor serial is like kach tutne mein 5 episodes lagenge😆 but yaha to ek din main das kach tutte hai😳. This serial is moving like gatiman express🤣

Originally posted by: Yuvishka123

Why is priya's mom so regressive and she will make a fool of herself and her children thats all she does. I mean she is fine with priya's sister marrying her ex . She tolerates whatever nonsense her horrible husband speaks. I mean even if one day priya's father comes back and says I want to  be with u . She will accept him and take him back. I feel priya's mother is much more horrible and worse than mahendra sood and neeraj😡

I will not say horrible but definitely a very weak character

Originally posted by: RandomWaliLadki

wont say worse, tbh i liked her when she did take stand for priya once even if not for herself. like when mahendra sood was badmouthing n she opposed him. but when it comes to herself , 0 self-respect. i m still neutral about her but i really like it when she speaks up for priya’s support!

that scene was funny how she was crying when shivina’s report came negative because priya wont be able to marry. priya’s mom is really weird - sometimes she is likeable but totally useless when she doesnt speak up or doesnt speak sense. n yes definately has a regressive mentality.

Yes even I loved that stand😃. Yes sometimes she is likeable and sometimes her weak nature is super irritating

Originally posted by: funny_fubar

This is actually way more common than you think. It has happened innumerable times in my family.

But to give you a more solid example, I was raised by a single mom with an absent father. My grandparents helped raising me and my Maama-Maami were pretty close growing up.

I went through the arranged marriage process(Inkid you not, I was Priya lite. At one point, my mom requested me to look out and find someone I liked. I told her I'll buy a condo and adopt andog instead 😆). There is a helluva lot of stigma involved with a fatherless daughter. The politer ones would decline nicely. The rude alliances would sometimes immediately put down the phone, or worse say mean things to my mom/grandparents.

My relatives, just like Priya's maami, kept pressurizing to bring my dad back for the period of the marriage. They convinced everyone in my family, including my mom, that I would never get married without my father present. My mom was willing to go as far as writing off a property to him so that he would show up for the stipulated period.

It took a few years- but finally when one of the alliances worked out- my inlaws were initially hellbent on trying to mediate between my mom and dad. But my mom and maama explained the entire situation to them.

Eventually it came down to me- I vehemently refused to be given away by my absentee father. I essentially told everyone, including my in laws, that they could bring my father in- but I would not show up. And this involved me facing a lot of pressure, scolding, lamenting from my relatives. Finally, they all agreed and I was married away rather peacefully.

The only sad part is my mom couldn't do my kanyadaan- that was the only part I could not convince everyone. My grandparents did my kanyadaan. But on somedays my mom really feels for it- she fought against the world, and brought me up, educated me, even sent me abroad for further studies- all without any monetary help from anyone(including her brother), but she did not have the right to give me away 😐

Sorry if it is TMI. But I just wanted to point out- this happens a lot. Most families and girls actually cave in and get their  father during the wedding phase. I know a couple of families like that. It took out a lot of energy from me just to keep my father out.

It was the same with me. I was also raisee by a single mom, absent abusive father, who was like Priya's dad, taunting at every point and all.

My nana nani helpee mom raise me. For arranged marriages many people declined and would ask rude questions or comment rudely that  'if mom couldn't keep a relationship intact how will the daughter...ye woh'. Then i met my husband through arrange marriage aliance, he didn't give two hoots about my past. He said he respects my mom more coz of her struggles and hence liked me more coz he wishes hus wife to have so much courage as my mom. When i shared the whole past with him and my in laws, he just said "i will make sure i compensate for all the love you couldn't get. I will try". His dad told his mom that "it doesn't matter if she doesn't have a dad, from now on i am her father". My mama/uncle did my kanyadaan. 

Sorry for the long lost and TMI

Originally posted by: unicorn1

More power to you and your mom ❤️

I have seen this happen with some known people too and its so heartbreaking for the bride. What's supposed to be her happiest day turns foul because of these bu*lsh*t beliefs of society 

So true- I was more relived than happy on my wedding day, that all this was done. 😆 

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

thanks for sharing your story @funny_fubar. I think the problem is that the arranged marriage system is not really set up for being honest or forthright. 

I had a friend at work who came from a complicated background. both of her parents had split and were with other people while she was raised by her grandparents. she once said -- how do you explain something like that on a online shaadi website profile? if she was honest from the beginning, either she got rejected outright or she ended up attracting losers who were interested in taking advantage of her situation. if she went through rishtas from relatives, they would consistently suggest people who were not per her requirements and they told her to not expect too much because of her background. 

lest, we think that this happens only for girls, it also happens for boys. so a friend of a friend-- she was in love with this guy who had a complicated background (like the story of my other friend). while his father was at least married to his current partner, his mother had a shady reputation as she had gone through several partners and always on to the next guy. because he was brought up by his grandfather (father's side), the irony is that he was actually very conservative and old fashioned. because of his background, he got rejected by his girlfriend's family but he refused to hide who he was or run away with her. so they broke up. because this girl was refusing to forget this boy, her father started looking for rishtas for her younger sister. she was engaged but they found out this guy was openly living with someone (abroad). that really woke up the girl's parents to what a gem this boy was -- maybe his family situation was complicated but compared to the sister's fiancée (who came from a very good family with a solid reputation), he was honest and exactly who he said he was. 

so the system and our people stigmatizes the family background. sometimes people are right in being wary of background because it can tell you a lot about the person and how they might act in future and if there will be problem from the in-laws. however, in other cases, it is unfair because it isn't necessarily a reflection on the person at all. the only way to distinguish between the two is if there are open forthright conversations where people share what led to the circumstances and what they are looking for. 

while ram and priya are getting married for the family's sake, I find it strange that there has been no conversation about family background, history etc. so we have this random dramatic scenes which frankly feel out of place because both ram and priya are honest people. so why not chat? 

Very very true- the arranged marriage market is for extremely Vanilla families- any deviation is frowned upon.

And to give full disclosure- while people around us were terrible, my family was also not completely golden- they would reject guys with ridiculous reasons that I personally consider terrible(caste, looks, injuries) That is when I realized that the entire arranged marriage system has become twisted. A lot of decisions- filtering of potential partners, happens at the parent level- with "well-meaning" relatives pitching in their comments and beliefs. So a lot of their beliefs, assumptions and biases seep in.

Tying it back to the show- with Priya's complicated background, I am sure a lot of matches were nixed by the parents itself- the guy wouldn't even know there is such a girl(so even if he is broadminded  he never gets exposed to "inappropriate" matches). This further would have fed Priya's bitterness- it becomes a vicious cycle.

If Akki never loved Shivina, or if the pregnancy scare did not happen, the entire Priya marriage topic might never have come up. And had Ram being less big-hearted, he would not been able to see past Priya's stark and tough exterior(just like his friends). Ram and Priya would never exist in an arranged marriage market.

Originally posted by: NilzStorywriter

It was the same with me. I was also raisee by a single mom, absent abusive father, who was like Priya's dad, taunting at every point and all.

My nana nani helpee mom raise me. For arranged marriages many people declined and would ask rude questions or comment rudely that  'if mom couldn't keep a relationship intact how will the daughter...ye woh'. Then i met my husband through arrange marriage aliance, he didn't give two hoots about my past. He said he respects my mom more coz of her struggles and hence liked me more coz he wishes hus wife to have so much courage as my mom. When i shared the whole past with him and my in laws, he just said "i will make sure i compensate for all the love you couldn't get. I will try". His dad told his mom that "it doesn't matter if she doesn't have a dad, from now on i am her father". My mama/uncle did my kanyadaan. 

Sorry for the long lost and TMI

Great to hear everything worked out! ❤️ Lot of respect to your mom and grandparents  It is not an easy undertaking.

It looks like there are quiet a few families that inspired Priya's story(sadly). 

Edited by funny_fubar - 2 years ago