Kids of separated parents behave like Toshu only.. especially boys - Page 2

The whole point here is that Toshu is not a child. When you have grown up to a point where they adults then it is expected of them to act like adults.

Toshu's lack of maturity is from his male ego. From the whole event of Toshu wanting to move away, I have noted that Toshu is just an immature adult who doesn't want to grow up.

Issues over not liking Anuj coul have been understood. Okay. But his behaviour is consistent. An adult knows how to handle the situation without outright being rude. Toshu is plain rude.

Like how Vanraj is brought up by baa as his 'Raja beta', Toshu too is used to being this 'raja beta' behaviour. It is important to understand how to act.

I just cannot justify his actions. He's like a pendulum. Kabhi idhar kabhi udhar. Unresolved issues with parents separating is understandable. But toshu's problem is pure pampering.

Ek tareeka hota hai yeh batane ka ki tum comfortable nahi ho. Agar 15 daal ka baccha raise react kare toh samajhte hai. Kids are immature but Toshu ki age pe maturity required hoti hai. Uski khud ki ek patni hai.

I have seen people with kids whose parents separated. They too do not particularly like the fact that their parents move on but kids past 18 try to accept it because they realize that now they have to live with this new reality. Of course, affect to karta hai but badtameez nahi ho jaate.

One needs to learn how to speak to people. Har jagah kisi ko kuch bhi nahi suna sakte hai. Toshu has this habit.

Originally posted by: sweet_tania

Separated parents ke bacche waqt se pehle age se zyada mature ho jate hai ! Maine toh aise he mature bacche dekhe hai separated parents ke !

Exactly! Most kids of seperated parents are understanding towards both their parents and have more compassion for their parents, especially if it is a case of adultery by one parent. Kids of separated and divorced parents rather than acting out find themselves having to grow up and mature earlier, often out of care and attachment towards at least one if not both their parents.

Originally posted by: sammy17

Exactly! Most kids of seperated parents are understanding towards both their parents and have more compassion for their parents, especially if it is a case of adultery by one parent. Kids of separated and divorced parents rather than acting out find themselves having to grow up and mature earlier, often out of care and attachment towards at least one if not both their parents.

It is just to garner more and more sympathy for anupama character, they are making most of other characters selfish/evil 🤢

Otherwise I am unable to digest kisi ki aisi third class parwarish bhi ho sakti hai and aise third class immature adult bacche bhi hote hai ! 🤢

Kids of seperated parents hate father for cheating their mother. And become extra supportive of their mother thinking how much their mother have suffered. I have seen many examples of this in real life too.

But paritosh accepted his step mom and insulted his own mother.

In no way kids of seperated parents behave like paritosh.

Originally posted by: moonwearer

It is easy for a MCP to dominate whoever they presume to be weak in the equation. While Anupama has let go of her deceitful husband she is blinded by her filial ties to her parents in law and children.

It was easy for kinjal to take a stance of family over husband and mom. In her perception she is right. She is accustomed to decision making and being a single child she also has had her father's support and affluence that is empowering.

In Anupamas case the indoctrination of her mother. The conditioning that made her leave her self respect in her maika made her docile and timid all these years.

The bhaang on Holi which prompted her to speak her heart was her first out burst.

Babayaga again hurt her in the resort calling her an outsider. Now however she finds it difficult to let go of her control over Anupama. When she can dress up goaded by Kavya she is unable to even wholeheartedly appreciate anupama looks good on the reunion night.

Most of the shahs whether through bred or becoming one seek to coax her to do things contrary to her will though reasons may vary.

The day she is able to say No and live by it will be the day she is liberated in the true sense.

I agree with most of your points.

Like i said somewhere on the forum that anupama's problem is that she has never even known that what is happening to her is not normal. That the dynamics in her family are not normal.

And to be honest i think it was a bit wrong of everyone of us too to expect her to not look at baa and bapuji for approval. For the last 44 yrs she has been taught that she is supposed to ask her mother in law for permission for possibly even breathing. First her mother drilled the idea into her head to be the "perfect" daughter in law and wife and then it was reinforced by baa and vanraj himself.

Toshu however should know better by now.

I dont even understand why he is being such an idiot about everything and pretending like the divorce has affected him.

A divorce can affect CHILDREN. But children who are in no condition to understand why their parents separated and why being together would do harm for them than good.

Toshu honestly shouldnt even be affected by this. It should have come off as a lesson for him if nothing else.

Is he a 10 yr old kid who doesnt understand what his father did to his mother? Yet every single time he is frustrated about something and in one of his man child tantrums about not getting his way for everything he blames anupama for the divorce as if divorce should be treated like a taboo and she was in the wrong for not wanting to put up with his father's cr*p.

Anupama hasnt known that this is not normal. Paritosh does. He knows EXACTLY how they mistreat anupama. He has had friends. He has seen them normally in a normal house condition. And yet he thinks that anupama should continue living like this?

If this is his attitude to his mother when she isnt even bedridden from old age or anything what will he actually do to her when she becomes old?

No thought about how she needs someone in her life who will support and hold her through thick or thin?

Why did he marry then?

Is marriage only a free pass for getting intimate with a person for him? Did he marry kinjal only because he has needs and he needs a wife to fulfill them? Is that why he thinks his mother doesnt deserve a second chance at love?

Same thoughts here. The cheating father got off scot free, the house breaker, step mom, got away scratch free, but Toshu is upset because his mom is sharing some adult, pleasant conversation with a friend? What worst kind of misogyny could there be??

Too much facetime for Vanraj’s ugly angry look. He has absolutely no right, zero, zilch, to feel anything at all about Anupama and Anuj. Man wants to wed a younger wife and keep the older (ex which prefix he has forgotten) as chattel. Ba is the worst, friendly with Kavya to a degree, all mushy mushy with her ladla son but nasty mother in law to ex bahu.

Anupama should tell them all off, not answer Vanraj’s evil barbs, and show Ba her true two sided face.

As for Toshu, he is no child or boy of separated parents. He is a grown adult, married, unhappy to stay in the joint family home, wants to grow money wise, is a chela to his evil mother in law, and cares two hoots about his mother’s well being. If he is hurt by his parents’ separation, he should have lashed out at his dad, thrown a fit at his dad’s extra marital affair, refused to let Kavya stay under the same roof as his mother. He did none of that because he was too busy licking his own imagined slights and inconveniences of living with family. He was gung-ho about Anuj Kapadia, the businessman, but now he can only see his mom talking to a man and enjoying that conversation? What a brat of an immature man Toshu is!

As someone else put it, the anger is because Anuj is so above all of the self grandiosed Shahs, Vanraj, Toshu, Ba. If Anupama had been friends with a bikhari on the road or even evinced a romantic interest in said bikhari, they would have gladly encouraged her to marry and move out, taunted her lack of economic means and felt that she was deserving only of one who was down in life. The fact that Anuj has harbored a love so deep for Anupama for years and has seen her intrinsic value which they are blind to, is what is irking them. Anupama could marry this rich guy who loves her and stop being their slave and have financial means to lord it over them, that thought will keep them sleepless for nights.

Originally posted by: weirdlynormal

Toshu is not very emotional stable actually none of the anuraj kids is..but toshu/Pakhi gets panic attacks just like Anu...

He was very disturbed when He got to know of Vanya and he was so vulnerable that he believed Vanraj fake story..

Few weeks backs when he had that big fight after Pakhi performance , he said "u left my mother" for sure he is vain person and embarrassed of Anu..but at the same time he has taken this pain most as Samar always saw Shah neglecting Anu so he anyways was not fond of him..

But Pakhi , Toshu took it too hard..

Vanraj has chosen himself over his family..and got married to love of his life (as per him)...So a grown up kid to see the other parent also to find friend from opposite gender when she has not been like this in 43 years... And see it in other light..see except for Anupama everyone can see Anuj is just different with her ...its not some old classmate meeting...So the kids act up whether age is 10 or 25 especially boys like Toshu who have so many insecurities ..