So, I watched today's episode and could make neither head nor tail of Sai’s behaviour. I couldn't understand why would she freak out so much at the arrangement. Today, I felt really bad for Virat because it wasn't as if the celebration was just for Sai, it was his marriage anniversary too, and he genuinely wanted to celebrate it. But as much as I hated Sai’s behaviour (her behaviour, not her character), I will still try to make sense of it all, just like I have done in all those other scenarios. But first, let me start with how it all simply don't make any sense, before I try to insert human psychology here.
This point is all about where the makers went wrong, and not about trying to figure out the character's thought processes as intended by them.
The main problem is not just with her outburst, it is with the fact that it all feels completely out of place. Like, kisi ko bhi ye nahi laga kal aur aaj ke episodes mein that it all escalated so quickly? Okay, I get it thay Sai freaked out because she couldn't understand why should they celebrate a relationship which isn't even a real one. She freaked out because she got scared of the developing feelings in both her and Virat's heart for each other. She got freaked out because she was insecure and really desperate to prevent her heart from breaking just in case it turned out that Virat still loved Pakhi. But the thing is, where were these thoughts before? And I am not talking about all those times she inserted her rights as a wife on him. I am talking about all those times when they got intimate. Those five-six kiss attempts, where she was conscious and even a willing participant. What about them? But again, the problem is not them showing it happening, kyuki bhaavnao mein to koi bhi beh jaata h. The problem is the reaction afterwards. This is my main problem with ghum makers. Ye log cheezein to dikha dete h lekin unke repurcussions ko bhool jaate h, un cheezon ka characters pe kya affect hua vo nhi dikhaate. If Sai really was as confused about her feeling regarding Virat as shown today then don't you think that she would have acted even a little bit awkward and uncomfortable around him whenever they got close? I mean they were about to kiss, that is one of the most intimate things you can do with another person, especially regarding the country where they live in. But no, they didn't show any such behaviour. Personally, I really like when they show SaiRat scenes, but everytime they make mistakes like these, they ruin it all a bit for me.
The most ridiculous scene was when Virat tried to kiss Sai at Harini's birthday. Yes, it was cute. Yes, it made us all feel jittery. But did it go hand in hand with the characters? No. First of all, Virat would never do such a thing infront of the entire family. Remember, it is Sai who hasn't been in a joint family, Virat has grown in one. He knows how to act, how to behave in front of various relatives. And secondly, Sai’s reaction. She was neither panicked nor lost in the sensations. She wasn't confused, she wasn't angry. No. She became shy, and tried to deflect the kiss as if it is something which is so normal in their relationship. As if they shouldn't do it in front of the family, but instead can do it later in their room. See what I am talking about? They try to lure us by giving us SaiRat content but then just ignore everything. It is as if SaiRat are toffees to cheer us with and not the bloody main couple of their show.
And if they tried to show Sai normal in those scenes, then why would she freak out here? What is this when compared to all those intimate moments? Why didn't she feel betrayed, or played with, or beizzatified then? Why now? These are the questions that got raised in my mind when I saw today's episode. Ek to in logo ko kuch bhi dhang se krna nhi hota h. Hum ne kaha ki Sai ka inner monolgue hona chahiye, to in logo ne aisa waahiyaad monologue diya ki viewers aur confuse ho gye. But I am still going to try to tod madod it all and somehow fit it in Sai’s character.
First of all, let's start with the why now question. If Sai is so comfortable with being intimate with Virat, hugging him and leaning in for a kiss, then why is she having problem here? This is because these two things are different forms of intimacies. One is physical, and the other is emotional. Both things are pretty interrelated. It is always better to first get emotionally intimate with someone, which make physical intimacy feel right and meant to be. But finding emotional intimacy is really hard and uncommon, which is why we can see so many couples around us skipping this one particular step.
Now, with Sai, the problem is that she is has gotten physically intimate with Virat. She is pretty comfortable with him, but emotional intimacy, that is only partially achieved. She likes to be with him, she loves to talk with him, but accepting it all is something her mind is scared of. She wants to be in a relationship with him, but labelling that relationship is hard for her. To be honest I can understand what she feels, because I am a bit like her. There is this guy who is really into me, and I love to talk with him, I love to spend time with him, but if anyone asks me, then he is just my friend. Because, for the love of God, I cannot bear the thought of having to get out of my comfort zone and actually accepting him as my boyfriend. And as I type it, I think I understand Sai a bit more.
There are things that are different when you actually get in a relationship with a person. There are things which you both expect from each other. There are baggages that comes with both of you which you have to accept. There are feelings and other changed behaviours which you have to make sense of, and hundreds of other things if you truly want a future together. It isn't as if all this is really hard or nearly impossible to achieve. Once you understand and realise the depth of your and your SO's feelings for each other, it all just happens with the flow. But here, the case is not that simple. Neither Sai nor Virat is at the same page. Sai has no idea of Virat's feelings, let alone an understanding of their depth. Subconciously, she might know. As she herself said, women's intentions regarding these things are pretty awesome. But you will be shocked to know just how far our brain can go to maintain it's comfort zone. Sai is not comfortable with her feelings, so her brain has stopped taking in any other information before it can complete processing her own. She is in so much confusion with her own inner counter feelings that her mind refuses to complicate it even more by analysing Virat's feeling rgarding her and his various actions that are indicative of them.
This is why I believe in making peace with our own mindset before getting committed to anyone else. Because one of the worst things that can happen in a situation like this, is being forced to rush all these steps. And unintentionally, my pure hearted, handsome, super duper hot, Virat just-a-man-innocently-yet-passionately-in-love-with-his-wife Chavan, had done exactly that. He wasn't at fault truly, but it just happened. He felt that expressing his feelings to Sai would be the end of their MU, and he wasn't exactly wrong. If he would just confess then too Sai will freak out, she will distance herself from him, but later at least Sai's mind would be a tad bit relaxed, because then at least it would have sorted out one puzzle. But he tried to make Sai realise it through his actions, and that just complicated it all.
Just try to imagine what all must be going through her mind. Her aaba died and now she is married to someone who is a great man but specifically warned her not to expect anything from him because he is in love with someone else. She has to protect her heart because if she lose this guy because of her feelings then she would have no one at all in this world to call her family. But then she starts having these uneccessary thoghts about him. She wants to be with him all the time. But she can't. Maybe she is falling in love with him. But no, she isn't. Because she can't. Wait, why is he acting so nice around her? Maybe he too feels something for her. But no, he doesn't. Because he can't. Wait, he is defending her, maybe he is over that vaada and his lover. But no, he isn't, because his lover is literally always outside their room, listening to their conversations. She wants to be close to him but she can't because they have no privacy. She wants to believe that Pakhi is doing this all just for herself and this is all one sided, but she can't because her husband himself gave the promise to always love only her, and if there is one thing that her husband stands by, it is that he never breaks any promise. After all, she is also a promise, right? She cannot fall in love with him, but then what is this feeling? She doesn't have any rights on him, but then why this jealousy? She must have promised herself to never fall for him. She must daily scold herself for getting one step closer to getting her heart broken, but what can she do, her heart never listens. She has go through everything, every smile, every laugh, every touch, loving it all but deep down knowing that she is going to regret them, because this man, with whom her heart beats a little faster, with whom she smiles a little brighter, and with whose presence her life gets a little happier, this man is her husband but not truly hers. And the proof stands outside their bedroom, spying on their moments, waiting for her one mistake to take him away from her, and criticising her every move, her every efforts. She wants him, she want his love,she wants to love him, but above all she wants to escape this dilemma. And the only way to do this is to just ignore it all as if it doesn't exist... right?
Then now, to top it all off, Virat brought her to celebrate that one day which might have started their relationship, but had bound her in a loveless marriage with man whom she craves to love.
Bandi gussayegi nhi to kya kregi.
PS: But I really feel bad for Virat though. May god give him strength.
Cricket
CID
