A different perspective about Dhara

Hey guys, I am Ushmi. This is literally my first IF post. I joined IF years back for DMG and IPKKND but never participated in any discussions, I am a silent reader. However, the way everyone shares their opinions in this forum and the way people analyse PS episodes, character traits, offscreen banters is so special! The fanfics are my stress buster ( fan-fiction writers -you guys write beautiful stuff)

Just saw the new promo and so I couldn't stop myself sharing two bits on the same.

Now, PS is a family show and at the end of the day it is about keeping a family together, bound by the love they have for each other (without the over-dramatics that we've seen on ITV); This makes PS rare. All the characters are going to have their own battles and growth/redemption arc, their own love stories and an unconditional love and support of family.

Giving equal space to every character, yes Rishita too (even if she's going to be problematic lot of times) and sometimes lack of Shivi (yes, I'm a Shivi shipper, Kanwar and Alice live the life of these characters), indecisive and unapologetic Dev (makes me want to bang his head for his behavior), Adorable Krish, Gaumbi, Suman, Mami, Anita, Hardik, Mama, and Rishita's family - all of them together add flavors of entertainment to PS, without either of one of these characters and their almost realistic drama, we may have a very different PS.

Recently, the one character that I'm getting most annoyed at is Dhara (aside from Dev). I'm not liking her actions post-leap. She's so hot and cold. One minute, she's fiery and another minute she's fragile and crying. She's hell bent pushing Raavi to move forward and delivering speeches to her but is unable to do the same for Shiva. She knows that Shiva dislikes Raavi (almost to the point where he manhandles her, which she has seen too pre-marriage) yet it is Raavi who she wants to mold as Shiva's Gauri. There's nothing wrong in wishing that Raavi should move forward but god hasn't she already moved on from Dev, she never thinks about Dev or reminisces any time they spent together. Dhara cannot expect Raavi to fall for Shiva within 4 days of their marriage! It's difficult for Raavi to respect Shiva too because all she has seen is his hatred for her, he never wanted her to get married into Pandya family and now she feels that she's stuck in loveless marriage with a guy who barely respects her, forget about liking or even loving. We, as audience, have seen subtle changes in Shiva, the way he interacts with Raavi, him laughing, his concern and possessiveness about her crying and that's why we feel more for Shiva. Raavi, on other hand, has seen him throwing paneer harshly in marination in front of everyone, him repetitively saying that he will leave her with goons - which he did act like in front of Raavi, but we heard his monologue, Raavi did not, throwing water on bed - she did too as an act of tit for tat. On top of all these arguments which she has with Shiva, Raavi has to bear Rishita's taunts, Dev's unapologetic behavior and Dhara's hot and cold treatment. Yes, it been a month for us watching Raavi crying over her fate, but for her, as a character, it's only been 4-5 days where she was left at alter, tried committing suicide, had to marry a guy who has disliked her for a decade due to emotional blackmailing, the bedroom fiasco, Rishita's suhagrat taunt, argument over tea with Shiva, kidnapping fiasco, after kidnapping drama, bus ride, Dev-Shiva fight, Pooja, Pehli rasooi, bonfire, Dev-Rishita ke rang main bhang taunts, and several arguments with Shiva and lectures from Dhara. Give that girl a break! Someone, please make her laugh. Instead of constantly telling her to move on and reminding her of her fate, try to make her happy. Try to show her that she still has people who loves her. Do stuff that will help her understand Shiva and vice-versa instead of just burdening her with the marriage. It takes two people to live a happy married life, so both Shiva and Raavi should try making efforts (subtle actions will not help them on a long road, these two need words, actions, and support from each other - they're both battling own insecurities which requires other person's attention, not Dhara's.)

Just like it takes two people to make efforts for a happy marriage, it takes two to kiss too, Dhara. Just because Rishita is bahu does not make her the only one responsible for the kiss fiasco, Dev is equally responsible. Yes, he was uncomfortable at first, but he did end up giving in to Rishita's demands to be kissed in public.

"Tum is ghar ki bahu ho, pandya parivar ki izzat ho." No, just no Dhara. A man and a woman are equally responsible for ghar ki izzat, reprimand them equally! Rishita just got married four days back, your indecisive and irresponsible Dev knows about Pandya family, he should have been persuading Rishita to do romance in their rooms while being on a family trip. More than Rishita, it is Dev's responsibility to make her understand that how his family works. Just yelling at Rishita every time she utters rubbish is not going to work. Learn from Gaumbi, Dev. You love Rishita and you love your family. You are the one who knows how both of them work so it is your duty to make your family understand Rishita and vice versa. But since, you're being a stuck up, spineless person who neither fought for Rishita's love, nor could you attain your promise made to Dhara bhabhi, or even apologise to Raavi, your childhood friend who you left at alter, then how will your brain process the need of hour and act on it? (the only good bit he's done is apologizing to Shiva, genuinely.)

Dhara, Dhara, Dhara- why are you so hot and cold? and why so much of difference in your reactions towards Raavi, Rishita and Dev, Shiva. Atleast, now she is accepting Raavi's pain rather than just pushing her to move on and reprimanded Rishita, once. But why is Dev never reprimanded for his actions, just because he victimizes himself and is polite? Come on! His actions pushed a girl who used to love her life and always found happiness in smallest of things to try to commit suicide! The said girl is almost lifeless now! Your other child, Shiva, who worships you had to marry the girl he hated. We're happy because we love Shivi and know their future, but it is going to cost lot of MUs, pain, insecurities and breakdowns to reach there. That's going to be painful to watch.

The whole mess is created because of Dev's indecisiveness and spineless behavior and then Pandya family(except Suman) hiding truth from Raavi. He kept leading on Raavi, unknowingly and then knowingly from the day their marriage got fixed till the day on alter. Man, even exchanged varmalas and pheras. Then he had zero remorse for Raavi's suicide attempt, he was busy building his new life. All the while, Pandya family was feeling sorry for Dev because he was marrying a girl he did not love, just how did they have no remorse watching Raavi so happy thinking she was marrying her dream guy when in reality she would be stuck in a marriage where the guy is emotionally attached to someone else and would never treat/accept/love her as a husband.

Not once, did Dhara push or even tried to help Dev in accepting his mistakes towards Raavi, forget about reprimanding him for the same. And the recent promo, her behavior is almost appalling towards Shiva! Shiva, who worships her, married Raavi without a second thought because it was Dhara's wish, Shiva- who is so protective of his family and loves them and takes responsibility towards his family so seriously. The same Shiva who wanted to teach Rishita a lesson because she disrespected Dhara and his family!

Yes, Shiva and Krish should get a proper scolding for scaring Rishita(she might've fainted or had a panic attack for sure); Shiva more for spreading lies about Krish. But beating him up for a prank gone wrong in front of entire family and blaming him for ashanti in family is not right, Dhara! He did not deserve that. And if he did deserve that for unknowingly hurting Rishita out of his love for his family then Dev for sure deserves lot of slaps/scoldings/life-time taunts for knowingly leading Raavi on, causing her to try to commit suicide which ultimately led both Shiva and Raavi to sacrifice their lives and get bounded to each other in the sacred thread of marriage, all for his own happiness.

Oh, and Anita should definitely get forgiveness for causing all that pain a decade back. If Dev can get so much of empathy by Dhara and Anita should atleast get a benefit of doubt now, she's changed now and is guilty of her actions.

These different rules and reactions of Dhara for different people is not going to bring family together. It might cause more pain and create a rift.

All I can hope is that post this beating, Shiva and Raavi try to communicate and start relying on each other rather than on Dhara. There needs to be a silver lining post this.

The only thing I agree with Rishita is Dhara actually needs to stop interfering much between other spouses. Let them come to you, Dhara instead of you pushing yourself as a mediator between them. Be their guide, not their decision maker or you will keep on bursting like that pressure cooker!

I think this is a little more than two bits. Sorry!

Stay safe and take care!

Ciao.

Forgot to add, I hate Suman blaming Dhara all the time. She needs to stop being a punching bag but she shouldn't make someone else her punching bag too. Dhara was savage with Rishita, I feel after a decade she could give Suman an earful too for always blaming her. Their is no disrespect in being fierce rather than being furious.

Agree with you!

We really do forget that its only been days since Raavi got married.

I wouldn’t have had any interest in pehli rasoi etc... Raavi does everything.

If only Shiva was nicer to her or would talk to her about the Misunderstanding she would stop being so miserable.

Dev is the one who should get beaten up.

This promo has really made me curios.. there must be more to it than just the prank.

Finally , I was thinking why are ppl not seeing how spineless dev is . He created teh whole mess , adding to that was dhara' s misunderstanding about the name R . Why has been telling Raavi to get on with life . Honestly I find dhara the most overdone character here . Zabardasti ki sympathy . Everybody should be taking care of Raavi . Alice u are a wonderful actor for portraying Raavi so well

I dun think dhara is pushing raavi to accept Shiva.. she is requesting her to take everything with an open mind..to think positively about it.. her life ..her marriage ..her husband ...dhara is one of the few people who know both shiva and raavi well..so when she proposed marriage for the 2 , she had the best intent ,plus , she must have had some idea that they will click.

I agree with your point that beating is not the solution. Shiva and krish shouldn't have been accused of spreading ashanti especially when dev and rishita are getting away scot free with the exact same thing 🤢

And dhara definitely shouldn't be beating two grown ups with a stick in front of everyone! I wish gautam handled this situation. Dhara's methods are just overly dramatic with a lot of crying and beating involved👎🏼

Hi Ushmi, welcome ❤. I'm Sofia. Do participate in the discussions more, loved reading your post! Here's how I feel about the situation.

I'm actually abit exhausted from watching all the tears...Dhara's and Raavi's. Also exhausted from Rishita's constant drama. I found refuge amongst the banter of the brothers.

Honestly I find it frustrating everyone in the house find it easy to blame Dhara. She's taken alot of heat even when it hasn't been her fault. She's tried to deal with situations to the best she can. Agreed that she's not dealt with things that well, some of it clearly backfired. And it's so hard to back her when she does stupid things. Gaumbi has clearly found more success. Despite her stupid decisions I'll stick with my original thought...they should question Dhara, but don't just automatically blame her. She's not a punching bag.

Raavi is a complicated character for me. I don't doubt that she's hurt, I don't doubt her tears, I don't doubt she's in an unfavourable situation, I feel for her. But like Dhara she's abit hot and cold for me too. Until recently I found it so ridiculous that Raavi has not mentioned Dev at all. The girl tried to suicide from it yet she's not thought about him, it's only been like 5days. It would have been easier to understand her had they shown a few of her inner monologues. It was such a HUGE relief when she talked about the wedding fiasco and Dev...you don't take such drastic actions for a guy then forget about him the next. With Raavi I found it annoying that she isn't willing to stand up for herself against everyone that has wronged her, she doesn't hesitate to blame Dhara and Shiva but not Dev or her Mausa-pa, both who caused and contributed to the situation. I hate to say it but Dev and Raavi are abit similar when it comes speaking out. I understand that Shiva has been harsh towards her, but what's harsher than leaving you at the alter? At the end of the day even if he's been the nicest person towards her she would have still said those harsh words about him too. She sometimes forgets that the hatred between their relationship is hers to own too (post-marriage). Pre-marriage Shiva clearly didn't want her in the house but he still never stopped it. Dev did. I guess what I'm trying to say is both Shiva and Raavi have gone through most of those incidents together - wedding, kidnapping, bedroom fiasco, tea incident, puja, bonfire, losing Dev initially, arguments with each other - Raavi abit more because of the suicide attempt and misunderstanding. But just like Raavi is affected by all of those, Shiva was too. So while I do think she deserves a break, I don't like her misdirected hatred towards Dhara and Shiva ONLY. It doesn't sit well with me, much like Shiva's manhandling 😒. I can only hope she finds happiness in herself first.

When Dhara said that 'ghar ka izzat' line I said there and then I didn't like that bit. Dev has and will always have a bigger responsibility towards his family. Dhara needs to be as direct with him as she has been with Rishita. Where's the tough love when it comes to him? One thing to mention, in this forum everyone have had different opinions when it comes all the Pandya family, it's so amazing to read...but Dev has always been called out to be spineless, coward, mute etc, and everyone has always called out for Dev to address the Raavi situation 🙌.

Coming on to the new promo 😒. Honestly I don't like it. I can hope it's not too serious but that's all it is...hope. As someone who keeps feeling bad for Dhara because she's been taking a whole load of crap left, right and centre, I feel disappointed. I understand she's maybe at breaking point, but again it doesn't mean you lose your head completely. How are you going to beat your devar in front of people who don't respect or care for him to begin with? You're going to give them another thing to taunt him with. Shiva worships the floor she walks on, she should reprimand him for sure but in a better way. They're not children anymore, and if they are they shouldn't have been made to get married yet. I feel disappointed because she's stopped Gaumbi and Raavi slapping Shiva in the past...but somehow they can't but she can? I can't help but think that they believe this is the method for him because he's hard on the outside 🙄. I hope I'm wrong and promos can be misleading. So let's see.

I haven't watched a show in years and I've forgotten how much melodrama comes with it 😭. Do participate in posts and the EDT ❤.

Actually I too feel she is so overdramatic and too much like ITV Rotlu bahu. Means we acknowledge about her sacrifices for the family and she love those three as her children. But is'nt it viceversa those three love her more than anything in this world. They have no idea that she can't be mother for their sake. Still they always stand with her. Shiva agreed to marry a girl for her sake. I mean if she is really angry she can beat them inside the room atleast no one watching (Specially Shiva he is grown up and married now).

I don't think Suman is telling her to get out of her house(as per the promo people speculate this thing). But I really want her to point out this thing and even a scolding is better. If she would ever try to even touch Dev like this(Because for me he actually deserves it) I am pretty sure Rishita will be fire. I do like her character a lot for this way. Rishita always take stand for Dev. And really really wish if not this time in future even Raavi took stand for Shiva opposing her if she tries to repeat same nautanki.

You have put everything beautifully.. 🙂🙂

Shiva and Raavi are going to take a long time to trust each other. They may show care and concern, even respect for each other. Trust is something that needs to be build up because pre-marriage Shiva used to hate her for her association with Mami and he is unable to differentiate between Raavi and Mami ki ben ki beti. Raavi, on other hand, already believes that Shiva married her out of some sick revenge and with the kidnapping fiasco, her trust is people around her is getting shattered time and again. And now the whole lie about Krish's apparent identity crisis. I wonder what's that going to do to their fragile relation.

And yes, Dev should definitely take more responsibility for his actions rather than just cribbing about it like a child!