Acceptance & Journey of Shiva

Originally posted by: Felicie

I wonder if he's being nicer with her because his conscience is allowing him to slowly acknowledge his protective instincts for her, now that he's her husband. I have a theory the wedding acted as a sort of galvanizing event, his feelings, whatever they might be, have been pouring out with lesser resistance. He seems less bothered about filtering his thoughts each passing day. I like the naunced progress.

After a series of hilarious conversations, let me try and add some thoughts to this already well articulated post.

I believe that part of his niceness stems from his acceptance of this marriage unlike Raavi who is still battling abandonment, fear and post traumatic issues. When he accepted to marry her, it was not out of force, pressure or emotional turmoil. His sister-in-law was in grief and she asked him to do something for the same. There was no coaxing, cajoling or emotional blackmail in his head.
I really loved the fact that he didn’t even question ‘Aap Kya keh rahe ho? Yeh main nahi kar sakta ? Etc.

It was very simple for him: She asked, He complied!

All of this naturally happened to him and he progressed the state of mental block even before he knew it. Even during the pheras, when we do get a slight glimpse of his state of mind, we do see him questioning his action-‘Kya kar raha hun main’ but then, he shuts it down saying that I will do as my Bhabhi says. Such a natural extension of whatever he shares deeply with Dhara-Gaumbi. His blind love for Gaumbi-Dhara.

His acceptance of this new relationship has delicately woven layers, which he is yet to discover, but superficially he ACCEPTED this marriage. Right from supporting her when she fainted during the pheras, to extending his hand first to her and then standing up of her rights during the Grihapravesh scene. He has been there for her.

He revolts only when she snubs him openly or shows her blatant disregard or hatred. Even when he goes into their room on their first night together on being coaxed by Gaumbi, there’s no animosity at first from his side. He just wanted to crash on the bed after a long upheaval of a marriage.

In short, he has acceptance of this marriage. His concern for her even before pre-wedding was always there. Whether saving her from ending her life, or protecting her before she gets hurt or even trying to warn Dev about her growing feelings.

Also, we do see a glimpse of his inner conflict when he was packing her bags and the box of her love for Dev falls out. That scene was left to our imagination as viewed but there was a contemplative look on Shiva open to interpretation.

Some questions we could ask here would be?

1. What could be the state of a man who got married to his brother’s almost wife at the wedding altar?
2. What could be the state of mind of a man who can never be the dream man of his wife?

3. What could be the state of mind to see his wife wallowing in self-pity after 10 years of being in love with another man: that too his own brother, a man who’d be around them for life.

These are very important questions which creates a layer of caution of how Shiva treads around Raavi. Nothing has really changed in their camaraderie but there has been a monumental shift in their relationship for sure.

She is the same girl whom he had seen pining for another man for 10 years. This same girl is doing wifely rituals with him given the changed circumstances. That’s quite a lot to chew. Despite being younger, Shiva has a tremendous amount of patience and maturity not to break down. He is contemplative but he is there for her. To watch out for her suicidal tendencies, to understand her comfort.
Like you said, he has definitely opened a window for her. Every time, she makes a move like complimenting him, he softens and is at ease. The moment she reprimands him, he becomes agitated and even more angry. He is confident in his own skin but not a fool. It’s difficult for someone to be unwanted by his own wife. Subconsciously, he’d always operate from a space of not being good enough for her.

For Raavi, Shiva is like a blank slate in terms of love that you’d share with a spouse. He has no past baggage as compared to Raavi who not only comes with her Herculean backlog of emotions but also operates from a space of being forced into this marriage.

Originally posted by: Transference

After a series of hilarious conversations, let me try and add some thoughts to this already well articulated post.

I believe that part of his niceness stems from his acceptance of this marriage unlike Raavi who is still battling abandonment, fear and post traumatic issues. When he accepted to marry her, it was not out of force, pressure or emotional turmoil. His sister-in-law was in grief and she asked him to do something for the same. There was no coaxing, cajoling or emotional blackmail in his head.
I really loved the fact that he didn’t even question ‘Aap Kya keh rahe ho? Yeh main nahi kar sakta ? Etc.

It was very simple for him: She asked, He complied!

All of this naturally happened to him and he progressed the state of mental block even before he knew it. Even during the pheras, when we do get a slight glimpse of his state of mind, we do see him questioning his action-‘Kya kar raha hun main’ but then, he shuts it down saying that I will do as my Bhabhi says. Such a natural extension of whatever he shares deeply with Dhara-Gaumbi. His blind love for Gaumbi-Dhara.

His acceptance of this new relationship has delicately woven layers, which he is yet to discover, but superficially he ACCEPTED this marriage. Right from supporting her when she fainted during the pheras, to extending his hand first to her and then standing up of her rights during the Grihapravesh scene. He has been there for her.

He revolts only when she snubs him openly or shows her blatant disregard or hatred. Even when he goes into their room on their first night together on being coaxed by Gaumbi, there’s no animosity at first from his side. He just wanted to crash on the bed after a long upheaval of a marriage.

In short, he has acceptance of this marriage. His concern for her even before pre-wedding was always there. Whether saving her from ending her life, or protecting her before she gets hurt or even trying to warn Dev about her growing feelings.

Also, we do see a glimpse of his inner conflict when he was packing her bags and the box of her love for Dev falls out. That scene was left to our imagination as viewed but there was a contemplative look on Shiva open to interpretation.

Some questions we could ask here would be?

1. What could be the state of a man who got married to his brother’s almost wife at the wedding altar?
2. What could be the state of mind of a man who can never be the dream man of his wife?

3. What could be the state of mind to see his wife wallowing in self-pity after 10 years of being in love with another man: that too his own brother, a man who’d be around them for life.

These are very important questions which creates a layer of caution of how Shiva treads around Raavi. Nothing has really changed in their camaraderie but there has been a monumental shift in their relationship for sure.

She is the same girl whom he had seen pining for another man for 10 years. This same girl is doing wifely rituals with him given the changed circumstances. That’s quite a lot to chew. Despite being younger, Shiva has a tremendous amount of patience and maturity not to break down. He is contemplative but he is there for her. To watch out for her suicidal tendencies, to understand her comfort.
Like you said, he has definitely opened a window for her. Every time, she makes a move like complimenting him, he softens and is at ease. The moment she reprimands him, he becomes agitated and even more angry. He is confident in his own skin but not a fool. It’s difficult for someone to be unwanted by his own wife. Subconsciously, he’d always operate from a space of not being good enough for her.

For Raavi, Shiva is like a blank slate in terms of love that you’d share with a spouse. He has no past baggage as compared to Raavi who not only comes with her Herculean backlog of emotions but also operates from a space of being forced into this marriage.

Bold: This was what shown in the original as FL was the first one to fall in love.

That said, Shiva has accepted this marriage from day 1 and he even said couple of times that he is in it for his lifetime. He also confirmed it that he will not be the one breaking the marriage after Suman suggested divorce. We get to see his caring side now which was not there much pre-wedding. He also gives lot of weightage, (infact all) to Dhara-Gaumbi’s words. He is definitely trying to do his best though, he knows she hates him.
They have been married only for 5 days and I can see there is a comfort level between them. They still fight, hurl insults but now are getting used to each other.

I do not know who will fall in love first in this version according to the writers, but I want Raavi to fall in love and help him discover his love for her. I also see Raavi is starting to get physically attracted to him and I hope after the latest insult from Rishita, she comes out of her self pity mode and starts working on her marriage and love.

On a side note, after seeing Dev-Rishita’s relationship, soon Raavi will be thanking her stars that she is not married to Dev but Shiva.

Originally posted by: mpks1

Bold: This was what shown in the original as FL was the first one to fall in love.

That said, Shiva has accepted this marriage from day 1 and he even said couple of times that he is in it for his lifetime. He also confirmed it that he will not be the one breaking the marriage after Suman suggested divorce. We get to see his caring side now which was not there much pre-wedding. He also gives lot of weightage, (infact all) to Dhara-Gaumbi’s words. He is definitely trying to do his best though he knows she hates her.
They have been married only for 5 days and I can see there is a comfort level between them. They still fight, hurl insults but now are getting used to each other.

I do not know who will fall in love first in this version according to the writers, but I want Raavi to fall in love and help him discover his love for her. I also see Raavi is starting to get physically attracted to him and I hope after the latest insult from Rishita, she comes out of self pity mode and starts working on her marriage and love.

On a side note, after seeing Dev-Rishita’s relationship, soon Raavi will be thanking her stars that she is not married to Dev but Shiva.

@Bold - Yes please!! She needs to start seeing people for who they really are. Not at face value!!

Originally posted by: mpks1

Bold: This was what shown in the original as FL was the first one to fall in love.

That said, Shiva has accepted this marriage from day 1 and he even said couple of times that he is in it for his lifetime. He also confirmed it that he will not be the one breaking the marriage after Suman suggested divorce. We get to see his caring side now which was not there much pre-wedding. He also gives lot of weightage, (infact all) to Dhara-Gaumbi’s words. He is definitely trying to do his best though, he knows she hates him.
They have been married only for 5 days and I can see there is a comfort level between them. They still fight, hurl insults but now are getting used to each other.

I do not know who will fall in love first in this version according to the writers, but I want Raavi to fall in love and help him discover his love for her. I also see Raavi is starting to get physically attracted to him and I hope after the latest insult from Rishita, she comes out of her self pity mode and starts working on her marriage and love.

On a side note, after seeing Dev-Rishita’s relationship, soon Raavi will be thanking her stars that she is not married to Dev but Shiva.

@Bold, I think I’d give credit where it's due. Shiva gave her a massive window for taking her own decision that day. The control that had been taken away from her on her wedding day was given back to her. She was FREE that day for choosing stay with him or walk out. That day, I got to see a tiny glimpse of a great man.

Originally posted by: Transference

@Bold, I think I’d give credit where it's due. Shiva gave her a massive window for taking her own decision that day. The control that had been taken away from her on her wedding day was given back to her. She was FREE that day for choosing stay with him or walk out. That day, I got to see a tiny glimpse of a great man.

I said the same thing this morning in the EDT. Though Shiva said, he is in it forever, Raavi was given a choice after the kidnapping track. It was her decision to stay married and fight.

But I do not like the Raavi we got today. She is not an abla naari, who needs Dhara or Shiva to defend her and be on her side all the time. I want to see the feisty Raavi back. When she can tackle a person like Shiva, she can protect and stand up for herself from a person like Rishita.

Originally posted by: mpks1

I said the same thing this morning in the EDT. Though Shiva said, he is in it forever, Raavi was given a choice after the kidnapping track. It was her decision to stay married and fight.

But I do not like the Raavi we got today. She is not an abla naari, who needs Dhara or Shiva to defend her and be on her side all the time. I want to see the feisty Raavi back. When she can tackle a person like Shiva, she can protect and stand up for herself from a person like Rishita.

I can't seem to remember whether you've been through my abandonment thread for Raavi. There it is

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/156774732

I have tried to Explain what she could be going through. Raavi has somewhat subconsciously lost a lot of confidence on her wedding day. I am assuming that her temporary restraining and misery is rooted in her trauma. More than often, she looks at Rishita with a sense of not being good enough while gawking at her dressing and her unabashed freedom with Dev. As much as I dislike her attitude, I don't think anyone has had a mature conversation with her. People believe that time is the greatest healer and not addressing the real issue, but tender love & care will help. Well, let's wake up and smell the coffee, Pandya species! It doesn't, healing cannot happen without catharsis and it won’t. No matter how deep the love given by other person. This can only happen in the real world with therapeutic help or someone discussing this issue.

Originally posted by: Transference

I can't seem to remember whether you've been through my abandonment thread for Raavi. There it is

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/156774732

I have tried to Explain what she could be going through. Raavi has somewhat subconsciously lost a lot of confidence on her wedding day. I am assuming that her temporary restraining and misery is rooted in her trauma. More than often, she looks at Rishita with a sense of not being good enough while gawking at her dressing and her unabashed freedom with Dev. As much as I dislike her attitude, I don't think anyone has had a mature conversation with her. People believe that time is the greatest healer and not addressing the real issue, but tender love & care will help. Well, let's wake up and smell the coffee, Pandya species! It doesn't, healing cannot happen without catharsis and it won’t. No matter how deep the love given by other person. This can only happen in the real world with therapeutic help or someone discussing this issue.

Thanks for sharing the thread, I will definitely read.

I understand Raavi lost her confidence. Nobody talks about the real issue here, everyone is confrontational in their own way in Pandya house. Talking to each other and discussing the issue, will solve most of these problems which was shown very organically in the original especially with Dev-Rishita-Gaumbi-Dhara

characters and it took a lot more time for Shiva-Raavi to open up and talk between them, but it did happen.

With Rishita's character she would pour her grievances in open and the family and her would meet midway to find a solution. This was shown every time they had to solve a problem Even Raavi's character would openly discuss her problems with Shiva with the family and they would pitch in to help her out including Dev-Rishita. We also have to understand that Shiva in the original is a softie compares to Shiva here.

At Pandya house, most of them are emotional, melodramatic and there is no middle ground. The only person who is calm and thinks through is Gaumbi. Now is it too much for us to ask the writers to include discussion and transparency between characters. I hope they write some sense into Raavi's character, have her introspect, a monologue would also be great to see what her thought process is. But this ITV, they have to show her to be the abla naari.

Originally posted by: mpks1

I said the same thing this morning in the EDT. Though Shiva said, he is in it forever, Raavi was given a choice after the kidnapping track. It was her decision to stay married and fight.

But I do not like the Raavi we got today. She is not an abla naari, who needs Dhara or Shiva to defend her and be on her side all the time. I want to see the feisty Raavi back. When she can tackle a person like Shiva, she can protect and stand up for herself from a person like Rishita.

I know most of us have not liked the raavi that we got today, but I think we should all give some time to her. The poor girl has gone through so much in the past 4-5 days of her life that anyone would be traumatized. Plus she's not had any apparent support system to talk about it and know what really concerns her.. I'm still not exactly clear with the reason of her annoyance, whether it's:

1. Not being able to marry dev

2. Dev choosing someone else over her

3. Getting married to Shiva

4. Not getting the love she wanted from her husband that she expected, coz shiva n her apparently hate each other

So what is it? Don't know if anyone here can explain it to me.. but the need of the hour is that she talks her heart out to someone whether it's dhara, krish or shiva, anybody. Or infact a monologue would also do to give an insight into her mind..

Originally posted by: Sakmen

I know most of us have not liked the raavi that we got today, but I think we should all give some time to her. The poor girl has gone through so much in the past 4-5 days of her life that anyone would be traumatized. Plus she's not had any apparent support system to talk about it and know what really concerns her.. I'm still not exactly clear with the reason of her annoyance, whether it's:

1. Not being able to marry dev

2. Dev choosing someone else over her

3. Getting married to Shiva

4. Not getting the love she wanted from her husband that she expected, coz shiva n her apparently hate each other

So what is it? Don't know if anyone here can explain it to me.. but the need of the hour is that she talks her heart out to someone whether it's dhara, krish or shiva, anybody. Or infact a monologue would also do to give an insight into her mind..

I know Raavi is not able to open up yet to anybody right now including Dhara, that is why I wrote in my subsequent post in this thread that we need to see a monologue from her for sure. These are things I want her to think and weigh in.

Her current thoughts about Dev (Most of the audience, including hardcore PS fans know that she has moved on and there are still some TRP audience who think that she is not ready to move on yet because of her constant fights with Shiva and the constant complaining)

Her thoughts on marriage with Shiva. Both Suman and Shiva left it to her, Shiva was even ok if she decided to walk out, but she chose to stay.

Her thoughts on how she would tackle Rishita next time when she accuses her of making Dev go on a guilt trip, give Rishita an earful as Dhara or Shiva are not going to be there forever to support her.

Most importantly come out of her self pity mode and try to move forward.

In real life this is too much for any girl to go through, get ditched by your fiance and marry somebody like Shiva. But this is a fiction where we need some reality touch with introspection/monologue to make it clear for the viewers. At the end of the day, all of us who are watching this show want Shiva and Raavi to be together and see how they evolve as a couple.

Originally posted by: mpks1

I know Raavi is not able to open up yet to anybody right now including Dhara, that is why I wrote in my subsequent post in this thread that we need to see a monologue from her for sure. These are things I want her to think and weigh in.

Her current thoughts about Dev (Most of the audience, including hardcore PS fans know that she has moved on and there are still some TRP audience who think that she is not ready to move on yet because of her constant fights with Shiva and the constant complaining)

Her thoughts on marriage with Shiva. Both Suman and Shiva left it to her, Shiva was even ok if she decided to walk out, but she chose to stay.

Her thoughts on how she would tackle Rishita next time when she accuses her of making Dev go on a guilt trip, give Rishita an earful as Dhara or Shiva are not going to be there forever to support her.

Most importantly come out of her self pity mode and try to move forward.

In real life this is too much for any girl to go through, get ditched by your fiance and marry somebody like Shiva. But this is a fiction where we need some reality touch with introspection/monologue to make it clear for the viewers. At the end of the day, all of us who are watching this show want Shiva and Raavi to be together and see how they evolve as a couple.

What Raavi needs is a real conversation for sure. It needs to happen to be able to heal some parts of her soul.