Word sexual harassment and Extra Marital Affair - Page 5

Originally posted by: laksh

I always have believed that Ninad and Bhavani doesn't havs anything between them and even now that is not what he meant. Ninad keeps bhavani in high regards, respects her as an elder, admires her as if she is their guru (because of all their evil acts). Only complaint with that guy is that not just he is an evil person, he has been forever unfair wirh Ashwini and I hate that guy for his disrespectful attitude towards his spouse. He was also responsible for Devi's state. Him giving respect to Bhavani isn't a problem, but it should not be by disrespecting and insulting Ashwini.

I will talk about Virat's fault or not in this Vani.

Virat was at fault in the beginning period after he got married by telling her in GC that he still loved her, by telling he lost pyaari cheez, by sharing the DIG problem with Pakhi and not with Sai, by stopping Ashwini when she tried to question him during Ladakh trip, by stopping Sai to confront Pakhi during Ladakh trip, by staying quiet when she said that she will pack in the samw bag (even if Sai had interrupted, not that he cannot add on to what Sai had said or he cannot correct her after Sai spoke).

Even though, he had told on the 1st day of his marriage on the terrace that she is only his brother's wife and friend, his empathy, his guilt, him feeling sorry for her during the rasams, during the photo session, during the 1st night, and then pyaari cheez dialogue is where Virat went wrong and gave mixed signals. I could have missed something but that was at the very beginning stage.

But Virat has always told her that she should accept his and Sai's relationship. He has said that no one should have problems if he spends time with Sai.

Yes, he wasn't too stern or strict a few times when she starts to cry or get sad.

Will say where his fault was other than the above :

Virat was at fault by letting her coming in between him and Sai.

He was at fault by giving her so much authority indirectly that she shouts or taunts Sai.

He was at fault by staying silent when she has been disrespectful towards his mom and not correcting her at the right time.

He was at fault by feeling guilty for her sufferings so much that he was acting empathetic towards her when it wasn't needed.

He was at fault by stopping her in this house for Samrat.

But it is NOT Virat's fault that she is harassing him.

His fault can be a reason

for her to misunderstand him,

for her to have feelings for him not entirely though but definitely not after he had told her on the day after Sai went to PD. His statement was loud and clear on that day. If not atleast on the day he returned from GC recently .

for her to create a rift between him and Sai,

for her to act with so much authority with Sai sometimes.

But his fault cannot be a reason

for her to keep insisting that she wants a place in his life,

for her to keep pursuing him even after he has said that Sai is his wife and he likes her

for her to keep insisting that he has dinner with him in his room

for her to keep taunting whether be it on the day Sai went to PDs house or after Sai was ousted by saying Sai is only important for him

for her to be playing with his emotions and insecurities

for her to keep trying to get his attention by asking him to call her when he was leaving for the mission

for staying in the room knowing that he wouldn't approve of it or he wouldn't like it (she knew it, she herself said that in the hospital)

for touching his forehead when he was asleep (violation of his private space)

for her to have taken so much time to answer when he wanted to know about his wife

for her to have taken time to hand over his phone to him

for her to stay in the room even after he had asked her to leave

for her to stoo Sai from entering the room, well aware of the fact that Virat wanted to desperately meet Sai

and for her to decide things for him like I know what should I do.

Her helping him when he was about to fall was a help, trying to help him lie down can be a help but all those are something which he wouldn't have liked her to do and it happened only because she forcefully stayed in his room knowing well that he wouldn't like it. She cannot be inconsiderate towards his wishes on these. He wasn't even in his conscious to protest it, a kind of violation of a person's personal space and comfort.

In the the last 5 points above, she was not just harassing a person but a patient who would have was feeling weak and helpless. The point where she stops Sai, it is not just she is being unfair to a wife, she was being ruthless/heartless to a patient who wanted to meet his wife, making him go through emotional suffering.

The emotional suffering that she gives everytime by taunting about Sai, by playing with his emotions, his insecurities are too much.

Most importantly

expecting that he thinks about her as his lover, not just expecting, pushing him too,

expecting him to forget his wife,

pushing him to accept her,

keeping him away from his wife whom he needs

very badly are all harassment, clearly harassment.

And none of these are Virat's faults. His mistakes cannot be a reason or doesn't give her rights to harass him. I hated the very first day when he was so messed up after ousting Sai, she harassed him to have dinner with him, she has been crossing all lines and Virat cannot be held responsible for her harassing him. I am sorry, i disagree.

Tagging a few friends in case they are interested.

Wah, can't agree more.... Your each and every point is on point...

Originally posted by: maahi11

babe, she never stopped a mother she said I am not stopping don’t stop me either and u know better I had told that he has lost it completely, Kuch nhi ho sakta iska,

the line of action is different harassment includes intention, she wasn’t touching him inappropriately she was trying to help which he denied, I am not justifying any other action of her but harassment is different, I can tell from my own experience won’t say further but I know how harassment is, there is a constant, and what she was doing wanst harassment

I agree she didn't stop his mother that's want I mentioned in brackets but she stopped his wife...

But I really can't deny that she mentally harassing him... Sorry to disagree but she is mentally harassing , I explained it why I think like that in other comment, I am not in which page that comment is...

Originally posted by: laksh

I always have believed that Ninad and Bhavani doesn't havs anything between them and even now that is not what he meant. Ninad keeps bhavani in high regards, respects her as an elder, admires her as if she is their guru (because of all their evil acts). Only complaint with that guy is that not just he is an evil person, he has been forever unfair wirh Ashwini and I hate that guy for his disrespectful attitude towards his spouse. He was also responsible for Devi's state. Him giving respect to Bhavani isn't a problem, but it should not be by disrespecting and insulting Ashwini.

I will talk about Virat's fault or not in this Vani.

Virat was at fault in the beginning period after he got married by telling her in GC that he still loved her, by telling he lost pyaari cheez, by sharing the DIG problem with Pakhi and not with Sai, by stopping Ashwini when she tried to question him during Ladakh trip, by stopping Sai to confront Pakhi during Ladakh trip, by staying quiet when she said that she will pack in the samw bag (even if Sai had interrupted, not that he cannot add on to what Sai had said or he cannot correct her after Sai spoke).

Even though, he had told on the 1st day of his marriage on the terrace that she is only his brother's wife and friend, his empathy, his guilt, him feeling sorry for her during the rasams, during the photo session, during the 1st night, and then pyaari cheez dialogue is where Virat went wrong and gave mixed signals. I could have missed something but that was at the very beginning stage.

But Virat has always told her that she should accept his and Sai's relationship. He has said that no one should have problems if he spends time with Sai.

Yes, he wasn't too stern or strict a few times when she starts to cry or get sad.

Will say where his fault was other than the above :

Virat was at fault by letting her coming in between him and Sai.

He was at fault by giving her so much authority indirectly that she shouts or taunts Sai.

He was at fault by staying silent when she has been disrespectful towards his mom and not correcting her at the right time.

He was at fault by feeling guilty for her sufferings so much that he was acting empathetic towards her when it wasn't needed.

He was at fault by stopping her in this house for Samrat.

But it is NOT Virat's fault that she is harassing him.

His fault can be a reason

for her to misunderstand him,

for her to have feelings for him not entirely though but definitely not after he had told her on the day after Sai went to PD. His statement was loud and clear on that day. If not atleast on the day he returned from GC recently .

for her to create a rift between him and Sai,

for her to act with so much authority with Sai sometimes.

But his fault cannot be a reason

for her to keep insisting that she wants a place in his life,

for her to keep pursuing him even after he has said that Sai is his wife and he likes her

for her to keep insisting that he has dinner with him in his room

for her to keep taunting whether be it on the day Sai went to PDs house or after Sai was ousted by saying Sai is only important for him

for her to be playing with his emotions and insecurities

for her to keep trying to get his attention by asking him to call her when he was leaving for the mission

for staying in the room knowing that he wouldn't approve of it or he wouldn't like it (she knew it, she herself said that in the hospital)

for touching his forehead when he was asleep (violation of his private space)

for her to have taken so much time to answer when he wanted to know about his wife

for her to have taken time to hand over his phone to him

for her to stay in the room even after he had asked her to leave

for her to stoo Sai from entering the room, well aware of the fact that Virat wanted to desperately meet Sai

and for her to decide things for him like I know what should I do.

Her helping him when he was about to fall was a help, trying to help him lie down can be a help but all those are something which he wouldn't have liked her to do and it happened only because she forcefully stayed in his room knowing well that he wouldn't like it. She cannot be inconsiderate towards his wishes on these. He wasn't even in his conscious to protest it, a kind of violation of a person's personal space and comfort.

In the the last 5 points above, she was not just harassing a person but a patient who would have was feeling weak and helpless. The point where she stops Sai, it is not just she is being unfair to a wife, she was being ruthless/heartless to a patient who wanted to meet his wife, making him go through emotional suffering.

The emotional suffering that she gives everytime by taunting about Sai, by playing with his emotions, his insecurities are too much.

Most importantly

expecting that he thinks about her as his lover, not just expecting, pushing him too,

expecting him to forget his wife,

pushing him to accept her,

keeping him away from his wife whom he needs

very badly are all harassment, clearly harassment.

And none of these are Virat's faults. His mistakes cannot be a reason or doesn't give her rights to harass him. I hated the very first day when he was so messed up after ousting Sai, she harassed him to have dinner with him, she has been crossing all lines and Virat cannot be held responsible for her harassing him. I am sorry, i disagree.

Tagging a few friends in case they are interested.

lakshmi I agree with everything u say but I am talking about sexual harassment, and not harassment, what ever Pakhi does u know better I am not fan of it, Infact I am alwz up for how ridicule that behavior is

That’s why I mentioned sexual harassment, I am not saying she is right, what she is doing with sai, or ashwani or Virat himself is not correct but sexual harassment is different, I explicitly mentioned sexual harassment,

the definition of sexual harassment goes like this

Sexual harassment is a type of harassment involving the use of explicit or implicit sexual overtones, including the unwelcome and inappropriate promise of rewards in exchange for sexual favors. Sexual harassment includes a range of actions from verbal transgressions to sexual abuse or assault.

Today many ppl pointed out sexual harassment and that why I mentioned only about touching Virat and nothing else,

According to (Section 354A IPC), Sexual harassment is the: Unwelcome touching or other physical contact. Asking or demanding sex or any other sexual activity. Making remarks which are of a sexual nature. Showing po*ngraphical material which may include videos, magazines, books etc.

I am not talking about harassment but only sexual harassment which foe me wasn’t there

Originally posted by: Saichintalli

I agree she didn't stop his mother that's want I mentioned in brackets but she stopped his wife...

But I really can't deny that she mentally harassing him... Sorry to disagree but she is mentally harassing , I explained it why I think like that in other comment, I am not in which page that comment is...

I guess u all took it wrong I am not denying what u all are saying but I am just keeping it limited to sexual harassment which is different

for Ref pls read the post I replied on lakshmis post

Originally posted by: laksh

I always have believed that Ninad and Bhavani doesn't havs anything between them and even now that is not what he meant. Ninad keeps bhavani in high regards, respects her as an elder, admires her as if she is their guru (because of all their evil acts). Only complaint with that guy is that not just he is an evil person, he has been forever unfair wirh Ashwini and I hate that guy for his disrespectful attitude towards his spouse. He was also responsible for Devi's state. Him giving respect to Bhavani isn't a problem, but it should not be by disrespecting and insulting Ashwini.

I will talk about Virat's fault or not in this Vani.

Virat was at fault in the beginning period after he got married by telling her in GC that he still loved her, by telling he lost pyaari cheez, by sharing the DIG problem with Pakhi and not with Sai, by stopping Ashwini when she tried to question him during Ladakh trip, by stopping Sai to confront Pakhi during Ladakh trip, by staying quiet when she said that she will pack in the samw bag (even if Sai had interrupted, not that he cannot add on to what Sai had said or he cannot correct her after Sai spoke).

Even though, he had told on the 1st day of his marriage on the terrace that she is only his brother's wife and friend, his empathy, his guilt, him feeling sorry for her during the rasams, during the photo session, during the 1st night, and then pyaari cheez dialogue is where Virat went wrong and gave mixed signals. I could have missed something but that was at the very beginning stage.

But Virat has always told her that she should accept his and Sai's relationship. He has said that no one should have problems if he spends time with Sai.

Yes, he wasn't too stern or strict a few times when she starts to cry or get sad.

Will say where his fault was other than the above :

Virat was at fault by letting her coming in between him and Sai.

He was at fault by giving her so much authority indirectly that she shouts or taunts Sai.

He was at fault by staying silent when she has been disrespectful towards his mom and not correcting her at the right time.

He was at fault by feeling guilty for her sufferings so much that he was acting empathetic towards her when it wasn't needed.

He was at fault by stopping her in this house for Samrat.

But it is NOT Virat's fault that she is harassing him.

His fault can be a reason

for her to misunderstand him,

for her to have feelings for him not entirely though but definitely not after he had told her on the day after Sai went to PD. His statement was loud and clear on that day. If not atleast on the day he returned from GC recently .

for her to create a rift between him and Sai,

for her to act with so much authority with Sai sometimes.

But his fault cannot be a reason

for her to keep insisting that she wants a place in his life,

for her to keep pursuing him even after he has said that Sai is his wife and he likes her

for her to keep insisting that he has dinner with him in his room

for her to keep taunting whether be it on the day Sai went to PDs house or after Sai was ousted by saying Sai is only important for him

for her to be playing with his emotions and insecurities

for her to keep trying to get his attention by asking him to call her when he was leaving for the mission

for staying in the room knowing that he wouldn't approve of it or he wouldn't like it (she knew it, she herself said that in the hospital)

for touching his forehead when he was asleep (violation of his private space)

for her to have taken so much time to answer when he wanted to know about his wife

for her to have taken time to hand over his phone to him

for her to stay in the room even after he had asked her to leave

for her to stoo Sai from entering the room, well aware of the fact that Virat wanted to desperately meet Sai

and for her to decide things for him like I know what should I do.

Her helping him when he was about to fall was a help, trying to help him lie down can be a help but all those are something which he wouldn't have liked her to do and it happened only because she forcefully stayed in his room knowing well that he wouldn't like it. She cannot be inconsiderate towards his wishes on these. He wasn't even in his conscious to protest it, a kind of violation of a person's personal space and comfort.

In the the last 5 points above, she was not just harassing a person but a patient who would have felt weak and helpless. The point where she stops Sai, it is not just she us unfair to a wife, she has been ruthless for a patient to meet his wife, making him go through emotional suffering.

The emotional suffering that she gives everytime by taunting about Sai, by playing with his emotions, his insecurities are too much.

Most importantly

expecting that he thinks about her as his lover, not just expecting, pushing him too,

expecting him to forget his wife,

pushing him to accept her,

keeping him away from his wife whom he needs

very badly are all harassment, clearly harassment.

And none of these are Virat's faults. His mistakes cannot be a reason or doesn't give her rights to harass him. I hated the very first day when he was so messed up after ousting Sai, she harassed him to have dinner with him, she has been crossing all lines and Virat cannot be held responsible for her harassing him. I am sorry, i disagree.

Tagging a few friends in case they are interested.

Well said.

Ninad-Kaku

Ninad does not respect his own wife and therefore his behavior is misunderstood as EMA for Kaku, whereas we are shown a contrasting Omi-Sonali relation where they love each other and therefore we do not see Omi-Kaku relationship as EMA.

Even in hospital when Omi sambhalos Ashwini, it is acceptable and correct, however if Ninad did to Kaku in any situation we will be angry on him and say EMA.

Both Omi & Ninad have the same relationship with Kakau - blind Bhabhi bhakts and respect.

Another thing that binds them together are the criminal activities like separating Devkit , so they stick together like theives, hiding this info even from their respective spouses.

That being said, this is the only reason Omi/Ninad do not doubt Pakhi's intent towards Virat because they do not have such an intent towards their bhabhi and know kaku does not have such an intent towards them.

However all the other females in the house except for Mansi Bua and kaku & Mohit know Pakhi's love for Virat and her jealousy/anger for Sai is not the same as what Kaku has for Omi/Ninad.

Their problem is that Ashwini probably has been claiming EMA for Ninad-Kaku for so many years that now they don't even pay heed to her words. Now they think Ashwini has filled Sai's ears and making her do all the things that she couldn't do. This is one of the reasons they do not believe Sai.

Virat-Pakhi

She said only family is allowed, but still she sent away family and wife and stayed back as his (ex-girl)friend?

The reason Pakhi stayed back in hospital is because she knows Virat will be weak, and will not be in a position to protest much.

Finally she gets her turn to take care of him and show him how true her love for him is. Taking care will lead to physical touching as well, but not sure if that was her intention, otherwise she wouldn't stop thinking of Ashwini's words.

She thinks by doing all this she can rekindle the feelings of love or show him that she is the one who truly loves him, which will help him move on from Sai who doesn't love him or deserve him like she does.

Even she doesn't know if she loves him. She wants same kind of acceptance, love and similar praise that he does for Sai for herself. In her mind, it is not cheating or EMA, she is like if you can do that to Sai, why can't you that for me, not thinking about the actual relationship between him and her vs him and his wife.

She is harassing him for sure, not now, but for a long time.

They guy was actually disappointed when he asked about his family and she said they went back after knowing he is fine. Like any other person in Virat's place would be so sad hearing that they left him with her who is a new member in the family (not even his mom stayed back). But she couldn't even see that sadness.

Originally posted by: maahi11

ANd I still chose to say she does not intend it.. but she is doing it.

SHe can have her reasons for wanting to be around him, but when he has denied and time and again defined the limits of their relationship in the last few days, the boundaries that have to be followed,he certainly does not like her presence, so even when the action is not intended and the person feels uncomfortable one has to stop doing that..

I get a hand shake from a colleague, who has no intention to be explicit and sexual and I feel comfortable.. I tell him.. he has to stop.. Even he never intended it,he has to stop..if he continues to do it, without intending it, he is harassing me....

Sorry to butt in again and keep posting long posts, but this is a topic very close to my heart (like I said, I am literally right creating training material on it with a printed copy of the Act on my lap as I type!). Sexual harassment is definitely a subjective topic AND experience, and the government handbook on prevention of sexual harassment at the workplace also says this. I work in HR and I have known of a case where a male colleague leaned over a female colleague who asked for help with a presentation - and she filed a sexual harassment complaint, which was allowed as per law, because it was her subjective experience that she felt her boundaries were crossed, regardless of his intent.

The reason I am talking about this is because, as a person working in this field, I genuinely think it's important for people (especially women) to understand that the law is not related to just physical contact or sex alone. Maybe the term "sexual harassment" is misleading. However, anything which makes a person uncomfortable or crosses a borderline is considered to be sexual harassment, the way it is defined in the country.

If the maid working in a house is uncomfortable with the way a man dresses around her, and / or is looking at her, she can make a sexual harassment complaint. It doesn't matter what the intent of the man was.

I am actually very very surprised that the actress was justifying to be honest. Everyone who works in a professional environment is expected to go through training on prevention of sexual harassment, which should cover these topics - again, as per law.

On a lighter note, I am trying to become an independent consultant in this area, and the lack of awareness on this gives me a lot of hope for my business in the future 😉

Originally posted by: maahi11

I guess u all took it wrong I am not denying what u all are saying but I am just keeping it limited to sexual harassment which is different

for Ref pls read the post I replied on lakshmis post

I am copy pasting a part of JankiRaghav’s post from this same thread because she has written it more clearly.

JankiRaghav Post:

But, if you apply these parameters in principle, then questions like:

"Meri life me tumhari kya jagah hai?"

"Sai mein aisa kya hai jo mujh me nahi hai?"

"Main tumhare bedroom mein dinner kyun nahi khaa sakti?"

"Tum apni biwi ke saath apne bedroom mein special moment mana sakte ho... toh ye moment special kyun nahi ho sakta?"
"Tumhari biwi hoti toh usse bhi jaane ko kehte?"
"Hamare guzre huye rishtey ko mat jhootlaao"
actually, amount to sexual harassment because they are pushing the person into a relationship he/she doesn't want -- as per the definitions laid down in law and not because we are replused by the woman in the story.

————————————————————

the parameters she is mentioning are the actual law and penal codes that exist in our country which you might know already.

I felt it was sexual harassment because of the above mentioned points by her. It’s not just specific to today’s episode.

The offscreen drama I think we should just ignore IMO for our own sanity. Even though the word sexual harassment was used by the Pakhi actress and not by the user.

Originally posted by: Nja91

The harassment is not only about physical things. Forcing herself into virat's space when he is clearly asking her to leave is also harassment. She is only getting worse. It was not called out as harassment by many including me until now coz virat until now did not stop her. But now he is clearly telling her to leave him. And she is also doing it with the intention of more than friend. In her head he is still her lover. So its wrong on ALL levels. She is not only interested in an EMA but also harassing him emotionally. Right now they have both not become "physical" but emotional infidelity is also equally immoral imo. People might be in an open marriage and be ok with it but here virat is finally drawing boundaries. Until now he was giving mixed signals. But pp is clear that she wants to be more than friends. For now she cant do anything except keep saying she is bff, kareebi dosti. But if virat was not married, and showed the slightest hint that he was available she would pounce on it.

But that’s what the agitation was all about, ppl hated her touching Virat even if she was helping, sexual harassment is different from harassment think about it I agree with everything and I am one who criticizes Pakhi foe her behavior and majorly have fun at her expense, but I am not supporting that she was ‘sexually harassing’

Harassment, invading peace, being obsessed I agreed everything but not sexual harassment, it’s majorly referred as more giving and taking, u give something and u take something, and again it different from molestation

Your post gives food for thought. I don't think anyone actually mentioned sexual harassment, except the actors themselves. They clearly need to be schooled on talking without thinking.

What was the discomfort with Pakhi today?? i think this has been festering for a while. It all boils down to 'consent'.

This whole week, she has been taking advantage of Virat's state. First by stopping his wife from meeting him. But his wife is strong enough to put up a fight.

She crossed the line completely by staying back with him knowing he is going to be in an unconscious, not in a position to exercise his will. That is creepy.

Of all people, she knows his will very well. He has already told her not to enter his personal space when his wife is not around. More than anybody else in the family, she is privy to the fact that he loves his wife and does not want her to do anything that seems too personal.

Last of all, caressing him again when he is in an unconscious state. not in a position to object. All these things have already established the fact that she doesn't care for his consent.

And that constitutes harassment. Period.

When he is conscious, helping him sit up, is all ok. Though very clearly he was too helpless and in pain to make his discomfort clearer. Isn't she taking advantage of the fact that he is vulnerable?

I don't give much credence to her last dialogue because she has not been a smart villain at all. At the most, she will continue to create problems for Sai, is what I understood.

In the real world now, even cracking a sexist joke or a vulgar joke to a woman is considered harassment. Forget touch and entering personal space.