Unpopular (maybe) opinions regarding the last few episodes

Hi everyone! I'm new on this forum, but I've been following the discussions for a little bit and I love how wonderful some of the conversations are on here!

I wanted to actually put my thoughts about the past couple episodes out there to see if there's anyone that agrees/disagrees with me... I might get tomatoes thrown at me, but eh, I've dealt with them before, and it's worth it if it means there'll be interesting discussion!

I found Dhara to be particularly insensitive towards Raavi, especially in this conversation that they had just now in Raavi's room. When Raavi accuses her of making a mistake by fixing her shaadi with Dev and then consequently getting her married to Shiva, instead of apologizing and owning up to the part she had to play in this, Dhara proceeds to tell Raavi that "we can't really always get everything we want in life, Raavi" or something to that effect. Huh??? She also keeps telling Raavi to completely forget the past and focus on the future and how "sab kuch theek ho jayega", but I just found it to be so insensitive, and it clearly did not help Raavi feel better at all. I'm hoping this conversation is going to lead to a larger conflict between the two of them that deepens at the story proceeds, but if Raavi eventually just ends up forgiving Dhara and the rest of the family, without Dhara and Gautam taking at least some sort of accountability in front of Raavi for the mess that went down, I will be very, very disappointed.

I also got very upset with Dev today. Not only is he completely aloof, he's also very, very insensitive. How has he not apologized to Shiva even once? Why does Dev think that by asserting his status as his "bada bhai", Shiva should automatically stop being upset with him and proceed to forgive and forget? I'm sorry, but that made absolutely no sense to me. This leads me to another irritation I have, and it's Gautam and Dhara's obsession with "maryada" towards elders. First of all, respect is earned. Dev's miscommunication that lasted 10 years, allowing Raavi to believe that he liked her back, despite her being very obvious about the fact that she likes him, is a big cause behind why Shiva had to marry a girl he simply loathes. So it is very natural and justified of Shiva to resent Dev for not only this, but also for him bringing a girl in the house that insists on disrupting the balance of everything. Dev needs to earn Shiva's respect back. He shouldn't automatically just get it by being older in age (and that too, he's probably only a couple years older than Shiva at most, so I don't really get that logic either).

Why don't these people understand that marriage is not a joke? I didn't agree with Suman holding Dhara solely accountable for everything that happened (she's a typical Indian saas in that way; refusing to find fault in her sons and cursing her bahus instead), but I did agree with her when she said that Dhara basically made a joke out of the institution of marriage. You can't just throw two people that have a long history of sheer loathing into a marriage, and expect them to work things out by automatically forgetting the past. It just simply doesn't work that way. Obviously, I know that Shiva and Raavi will grow to love each other, and they'll make a wonderful pair, but let's face it, a marriage like that probably would not last long at all in real life. It confuses me so much as to why Dhara, Gautam, Dev, and the rest of the family do not understand how screwed up the situation that Shiva and Raavi are in is. Marriage is a lifelong commitment. It is practically the biggest decision of anyone's life. It is the agreement to share your life with someone else. And somehow, I don't think that that reality has set in for anyone except for Shiva and Raavi.

Looking forward to seeing if anyone has something to add or even disagree about!

Meera

Hi Meera!! Fantastic post!! No one will throw tomatoes. We are a very cool bunch if I say so myself.

Dhara has apologized multiple times so I gave her a pass this time.

Dev, I’m not sure why to say. I’m disappointed. That hug was not an apology. Shiva held back. Shiva is an open book, he never holds back. Dev is so clueless and insensitive that he couldn’t feel that his brother was holding back.

Thank you for the warm welcome! I've grown to be very wary of the kind of response to expect from the internet, based on my experiences in other forums, so I'm really glad to see that isn't really the case here.

Dhara has apologized, agreed, but I just found what she was saying to Raavi odd . I think Raavi just wants to hear the words "hey, I'm really sorry this happened, and that I was so hasty in making such a split second decision about your life. Please know that I am here for you in any way you need me, you aren't alone, and I will support you every step of the way, even if that means that this doesn't end up working out." I didn't hear that in what she said today, and it was slightly off-putting, to me at least.

Right!! Dev is so unbearably clueless and insensitive, it's almost cartoonish. I did notice that Shiva held back, and I hope that means that he hasn't forgiven him and there will be a point in time when he actually lashes out at Dev and says what he's really thinking. Shiva's very much like a pressure cooker. So if there's really something on his mind, I don't think it'll take him very long to vocalize it. And I'm hoping that moment comes soon!

Agreed!! Shiva says whatever comes to his mind. He’s brutally honest!!

I get what you saying. Makes sense. Give Raavi some space and not expect everything will be okay overnight.

Hello Meera🤗

Apt post... ❤️

Hey Meera, Amazing post! you do bring up a very good point and ill agree with you, I didn't particularly like the way Dhara went with the conversation with Raavi either, however, I will say that I'm glad she didn't apologize again because that's literally all she has been doing to Raavi for like a week now.. It's overused, not going to solve anything. an apology is just mere words, not an action. it's not going to fix anything if it's not accompanied by a solution. And while it's not going to be easy, like at all, one of the simplest yet hardest pieces of advice is to move on. Nothing is going to happen if Raavi continues to live in the same mindset and I think that's where Dhara was trying to go. She needs to try and start living in the now rather than the past. Easy advice to give, hard to follow, but you have to start somewhere.

Not going to argue with you over the Dev topic, because I felt exactly the same way.

The last paragraph you wrote, I also agree with. Don't like that the entire blame is falling on Dhara's shoulders and I also do believe that the situation where everyone just expects Shiva and Raavi to just start acting like husband and wife....is not the best. Their situation is so complicated that in reality, that marriage probably wouldn't last long at all.

I felt like I went off on a whole tangent, I apologize.

Hi Meera! Welcome to the Pandya Fam! I love myself some good tomatoes, so I would never throw them at anyone (unless their name is a certain Dev Pandya😆), but hearing other opinions is exactly why I'm here! I love seeing how other people viewed the episodes. It makes an already complex series even more intricate!

I have a ton of thoughts about Dhara, and why I wish she didn't make such a hasty decision/nor have the guts to tell Raavi before the wedding, but I'll reserve them in my head for now. In terms of her most recent words to Raavi, I have to agree with Mel's reasoning and thought. Apologizes didn't really work for Raavi, so maybe Dhara was hoping "we can't really always get everything we want in life, Raavi" might help sway Raavi into a more positive light. I definitely don't think Raavi will be swayed anytime soon. Poor girl went through a lot, but I also think apologies and pity won't help her heal, and maybe Dhara is starting to understand that herself.

As for your second point, you've honestly said it so well (and everyone here agrees with you too), so I don't have much to say other than, yes, his character is absolutely terrible. I re-watched a couple of episodes and I paused in the episode where Shiva is yelling at Dev about cancelling the wedding with Raavi because he was in love with another girl. When Shiva was telling Dev to think about the rest of the family, my heart couldn't help but go out to him. Shiva is the type of son every family should have. His meticulous thoughts and love cannot be overlooked. Meanwhile, Dev neither appreciates nor cares for his family (married Rishita despite knowing Dhara was insulted and hurt from Rishita's family, and claimed being a "big brother" gave him the free pass). I'll stand by this, the elderly are not always right. Dev's two extra years on life do not give him the right to play around with Shiva's life and feelings. He effectively destroyed his brother's happiness, and he isn't even feeling the least bit remorseful, and I wish Gaumbi and Dhara recognize this.

As for your last point, I have to agree with you on everything as well. I hate the bahu shaming that ITV loves to partake in. And the hate marriages... I know I'm a sucker for ShiVi, but I really, really do wish they married on better terms. Poor Shiva and Raavi are miserable. I just want to fast-forward their scenes so I can see their smiles and cute banter again. But I suppose the growth in their relationship is also very important. I hope the family respects ShiVi's space, but also nudge them gently in the right direction so they could heal properly.

Also, after typing this, I just realized... I LOVE how you titled this post "Unpopular (maybe) opinions." I literally went into this post thinking you would say something like, "I LOVE Dev! He's an amazing older brother!"

Good observations Meera and so far this forum has been civil and friendly, so no tomatoes as of now 😆.

I agree with you cent percent in that Dhara was insensitive towards Raavi with her advices. Raavi life didn’t just follow Murphy’s law. Dhara, Gaumbi, Dev and Shiva had a huge role in changing the future she was happily looking forward too. The day after the wedding is not the day to say that life never goes per plan. The Pandya bunch should feel bad for what happened to Raavi. They always had a choice to not to force her into a marriage . Considering the dynamics of a typical Indian household, Raavi had the least amount of power in that situation. She was traumatised. Making a sane decision under such circumstances is impossible for most human beings. The people who had actual power there - Dhara, Gaumbi, Shiva - obviously made the wrong one. They should give her time and space and be willing to apologise more.

Suman is a typical south asian mother. There was a recent video which shared something about spouse substitution. It’s a situation in which a woman who has a deficient emotional relationship with her husband - either due to spouses death/ emotional disconnect/ abuse - forms a stronger bond with next close male person in the family. In Suman’s case she formed that bond with her sons. This bond doesn’t exactly have healthy boundaries. For such a woman any other person in their male child’s life will be a threat and will be deficient in her eyes. So when Dhara - a girl who Suman already dislikes for her mother’s history (absurd no doubt) comes as her eldest DIL , it’s no wonder she behaves like this. Dhara with her paying respect at any cost is gonna take a long while to stand up to her MIL.

Dev really owes his family an essay of an apology. Most of all to Shiva. There’s no way around that.

All this said, this is a TRP targeted drama. The best way to watch it is to detach the logical, feminist, progressive part of out brain and souls. I think most of us here have made peace with that😆

Dhara apologized few times & her asking it again & again would be irritating ( atleast frm serials pov), so she trying to make raavi better by showing the moon in mirror make sense..

For dev i completely agree, that man is not just spineless but shameless too..atleast a heartfelt apology won't cost him money, it seems like dev doesn't know what he has done till now...

Suman is my favorite character but only thing i dislike abt her is she is blind for her sons..she blames dhara, salty with rishita but not a word to son ,

If we compare all these to real life ,may be marriages like this maynot work, but its itv..yaha sab chalta hai😂

Originally posted by: UmIbrahim

Good observations Meera and so far this forum has been civil and friendly, so no tomatoes as of now 😆.

I agree with you cent percent in that Dhara was insensitive towards Raavi with her advices. Raavi life didn’t just follow Murphy’s law. Dhara, Gaumbi, Dev and Shiva had a huge role in changing the future she was happily looking forward too. The day after the wedding is not the day to say that life never goes per plan. The Pandya bunch should feel bad for what happened to Raavi. They always had a choice to not to force her into a marriage . Considering the dynamics of a typical Indian household, Raavi had the least amount of power in that situation. She was traumatised. Making a sane decision under such circumstances is impossible for most human beings. The people who had actual power there - Dhara, Gaumbi, Shiva - obviously made the wrong one. They should give her time and space and be willing to apologise more.

Suman is a typical south asian mother. There was a recent video which shared something about spouse substitution. It’s a situation in which a woman who has a deficient emotional relationship with her husband - either due to spouses death/ emotional disconnect/ abuse - forms a stronger bond with next close male person in the family. In Suman’s case she formed that bond with her sons. This bond doesn’t exactly have healthy boundaries. For such a woman any other person in their male child’s life will be a threat and will be deficient in her eyes. So when Dhara - a girl who Suman already dislikes for her mother’s history (absurd no doubt) comes as her eldest DIL , it’s no wonder she behaves like this. Dhara with her paying respect at any cost is gonna take a long while to stand up to her MIL.

Dev really owes his family an essay of an apology. Most of all to Shiva. There’s no way around that.

All this said, this is a TRP targeted drama. The best way to watch it is to detach the logical, feminist, progressive part of out brain and souls. I think most of us here have made peace with that😆

I didn't even think about the power imbalance. Great point! I keep thinking back to who had the least or even no fault in this wedding, and I kept thinking it was Shiva. Raavi made too many premature assumptions and never confirmed whether Dev liked her or not, Dhara began this wedding with the simple assumption that R is Raavi, Gaumbi made sure none of the brothers told Suman or Raavi about the events. I used to always think Shiva was the one at no fault, but you're right. He had the power in this situation, and he abused it in some way. I forget who said this in the forum, but I wish Raavi and Shiva talked before the wedding just like Gaumbi and Dhara. Raavi definitely would not have made a sane decision, but the conversation might have given her a glimpse of what their future could have held.

Definitely agree on the apology part, but I also wish he speaks to Raavi individually. The poor girl has had her heart ripped out and shredded into pieces for all of Somnath to see, and Dev can't even meet her eyes or muster up a sorry?? Even the drama with the bedroom, he said nothing...