Addressing the elephant in the room... Note on Pg 21 (24 April) - Page 4

Originally posted by: jane_austen

Agree with you 100% on how toxic behavior is often shown as being romantic in lot of TV shows and films.

I felt the same indignation for GHKKPM until different viewpoints from senior members in IF made me realize that this show is more suitable for mature audiences. What I feel MIGHT be different in GHKKPM is that the abusive behaviour may not be glorified/normalized. Stories can be of two types - path-breaking/inspiring or gritty & layered. I would like to hope that GHKKPM belongs to the second type . Whether it ends up glorifying toxic relationships or sensitively shows a positive/negative progression will depend on how each of the characters is handled from here onwards. Even then, I would still like it to be classified as an adult show. Because it should not unwittingly propagate wrong idea of romance to youngsters, especially girls.

I'm trying to watch the show with an open mind - ignoring how indigestible it would be in reality. Many works of literature/art have unsympathetic characters - as long as the character arc is satisfying, it can be cherished. If the show takes a toxic turn, I'll stop watching it.

The word mature made me lol🤣 I need some time to get over the definition of maturity that the show has tried to show me.🤣

On a serious note, though, I agree with whatever you said. The problem is, this is not what this show has been promoted as. Its on prime time, and tho. Im not from India, I would like to believe that during that time, there are different sets of audience that watches the show - amidst more mature ones and youngsters.

I would have felt the same as you, had I not known that the leads were the endgame and had I not known how scripts are changed just to suit the audience's demands. I've watched a lot of shows with such issues, many of them in my top lists of shows, but when you are dealing with such topics, you need to be forefront and show that as writers you are aware that this is abuse of some form and then work towards the progress of the storyline, in whichever direction that may go.

However, there needs to be the awareness and a strong voice telling aidiences that this is not ok. But here, in some instances the writers are trivialising the issue and they definitely shy away from straight out saying this is abuse. Sai is a strong woman and a strong critique, but will it not go against everything she stands for, when she falls in love with this Virat?

Since I watch shows across several languages, Ive always been more intrigued with grey characters. For me, Virat is too much into the mud to be redeemed. The threat to lock her in the room, witholding food or money is too low to be redemeed.

I would hope that the writers would work more on their characters so that the show is not further ruined for the audiences who still love the characters❤️

Originally posted by: msin

agree script writing is lazy .. they are just copying KD

wheb they don’t have to think of plot atleast they should focus in better situations around it .. better dialogues

Had they actually worked on the characters more, this could have been a path-breaking show. But, choosing to follow the crowd is always easier.

What a beautiful discussion this is and what a heartbreaking last sentence in the main post, Keshni!? You are leaving the show, fine... but don't leave us 😒 humne aisi kaunsi maturity dikha di aapko jo nahi honi chahiye thi...

I am so busy today that I can't reply a long one but your post is exactly the reason why I stopped watching TV shows altogether at least a decade ago. Even then, I had watched only a handful ones even earlier. I am not in a position to compare the kind of chauvinism, toxicity, violence that other shows promote vis-a-vis this one because I really haven't watched any show in long, long years.

I got hooked to this show because the lead was an IPS and now, everyday, I almost say once, "Is he an IPS?" Because I actually find this portrayal of an IPS officer offending. Not because there aren't IPS officers who lack morals and who aren't toxic. One in five is like that. But the issue with this character is what Sai described - "Sahi aur galat ka matlab badalta rehta hai"... He tends to waver so much in his loss of control that you wonder which side of him will eventually become his 'normal' nature. I have recently even begun dissociating him as an IPS. It would be wrong to say that all other subordinate police officers are like that because there are gems in officers who are non-IPS policemen but I think if he was shown as a Police Inspector from a state cadre, I would have accepted his split personality and uncertainty about his value system more easily. So, either he should stick by his morals or then he should come across as one who doesn't have the tenacity to stand by his morals - he wants to have the cake and eat it to.

I don't think any one of us here supports 'toxicity' that is actually mirroring the society but of course since it is on TV, it is glorified and allowed to pass, dragged on for months just because the show has to achieve a climax point and earn its TRP brownies. I watched a couple of promos of new shows on the app that were served to be by default when I logged in to watch this one. My patience with TV shows is so thin that I did not even sit through those straight-faced, seemingly macho men going about throwing things, breaking stuff and even burning something. I just can't bring myself to watch these characters who need to be brought to book and not handed over to women as "projects"... But they are also men who exist in real, who cannot be touched by law even.

When i quit this show -- and I know I eventually will because I couldn't even read the entire synopsis of the original forget watching it 🤣 -- it will be my final bbye to TV 😆 But at the moment, it has the chance to keep me hooked by showing me a compelling reason of why the couple wants to give one another a chance. What happened over Friday-Saturday was uncalled for. If I were Ashwini, I would have slapped Virat in the heat of the moment and then gone and drilled sense into his head. If I were Sai, I would have done exactly what she is doing -- packing her bags. But I also know why she will stay back. I want to see if the reason for her to stay back is that he gave her a compelling apology or because she has actually fallen in love and her heart has found the other end of its attachment -- and then, in that case, even the strongest of women tend to endure a lot more than they normally would.

You know, in reality -- i meet couples who want to end their marriages. Most of them are actually good people who have, in their moment of loss of control, reached a point of no return. They are unsure if the reason is big enough to move on and not give one another a chance... they are unsure if a second chance would lead to a third. They are also unsure if they will actually find the perfect one by moving out. But they have reasons to give one another a chance in the worst of the moments.

Toxicity, as we call it, crops up even in some of the healthiest relationships if it goes through a phase or circumstances that are getting out of hand because nurturing is a continuous process. I know we have high expectations from the characters who have been introduced as upright. But to me, I always found Virat in the earlier episodes as someone wearing a cloak -- I am not finding it surprising at all to watch him lose control. What I want to see is how they build the story if they intend to and if there will be an eventual growth for both Sai and Virat -- because she also falters as much on many occasions.

Reading such post actually make cry for Sai 🥺

Originally posted by: VioletOrchid123

Thank you so much for this post

You said everything which has been the norm of itv.... Like others, know the show you referred to... I've seen girls swooning over the guy in that show and even wishing for a man like him as husband😕

Now even after 10 years things are pretty much the same or maybe turned worser than it was before... Even today, manhandling, pushing and shoving of FL is considered as romatic... Not surprisingly, movies like kabir singh which promotes toxic masculinity is a big hit.... At same time movies like thappad which clearly sent the message that not even one slap is okay suffered in box office.

No matter what anyone says, but virat is an extremely toxic and problematic person... If the makers are intending to say that its the toxic environment which makes him behave the way he does, then they need to show him getting help... Therappy, counselling etc can help him a lot... Instead they will show him continuing with his behaviour and sai forgiving him... Women are treated as rehabilitation centres for problematic men.

@bold- This!
I am so sick of women having no arc of their own and their only purpose is to 'improve' the guy who has a past that haunts him. Why is it the duty of a woman to sudharofy this man? And how many times have we seen that once the problematic man falls for the goody two shoes woman, he changes but the moment she leaves his life, he's back to his original self. The very reason for him changing his behaviour and attitude is to 'acquire' the lady he's supposedly in love with. He will be good as long as he gets to keep the woman in his life. Even his change is conditional. And yes, Virat is problematic and toxic, albeit to a lesser degree than other MLs but he is and nope, Sai's love shouldn't give him clarity. He needs to realise that he has a problem- maybe due to his upbringing, what he has seen his Baba doing, etc but he needs to work on himself before he is worthy of Sai's love. What we saw on Friday and Saturday wasn't just a mistake he made, it was extremely dangerous behaviour. We can't expect ITV to address issues such as mental health and seeking therapy, alas.

Thank you for putting my thoughts in coherent words! I haven't been able to completely ship Sairat since the time Virat yelled at Sai without even knowing the whole story. A simple sorry to Aai alone was supposed to make it all okay? His crying is supposed to make us melt? The toxicity this show is portraying disappoints me so much :( I truly hope young girls aren't hoping for a husband like Virat because I'll be honest - he is probably the most toxic male lead I've seen on ITV. Yes, there's abusive and problematic leads, but Virat is straight up toxic. This show was the reason I returned to ITV after YEARS (think: DMG, MJHT times) but I think I'm done. I kept trying to give him a chance, but its always one step forward, two backwards. I'll miss your posts and drabbles!

If Virat begs for forgiveness and says, “I promise I will never do anything like this ever again, if I ever do it again, you can leave me because you deserve a better man. Please give me this one chance to redeem myself.” Only then Sai should forgive him

Originally posted by: Bechain_Bulbul

Itv shows have always been like this, regressive to the core and normalising emotional, physical violence against females and the irony is that these shows get huge trp because of those female viewers only.🥱

I can understand back at the teenage we used to romanticise these rough tough male leads but as we grew up we came out of that bubble but looks like itv never grew up🤣

Ye gusse wale ladke, pushing pulling, wall pinning, trying to control FL in the name of romance ab tv par dekhne mein bhi achha nahi lagta to real life mein to bahut dur ki baat hai. What virat did to sai or what his family has been doing is enough ground for filing domestic violence complaint but itv, actors and even the sbs, sbb voice overs making it seem like FL is at fault because she is badtameez hence she needs to be in control🤪

Tbh, i also haven't seen any serial on daily basis since long time and i was hooked to this show because of impressive promotion and neil bhatt. Then i googled it and came to know it is based on KD. I took pain to read its synopsis and was immediately disappointed. But my mom got hooked to it hence forcing everyone to watch it on tv and here we are....a regular viewers of this show.

No matter how much we keep commenting on forum or social media, cvs wont listen to us because we are not giving trps to them. Trps still calculated on the basis of tv viewership and trp aunties dictate it. My mom (i think everyone's mom or elders) denotes that trp aunties group and more than the show I am always interested in watching her expressions or views about regressive content and its a real relief that she calls out characters and cvs for doing absurd things.

The gen z has moved on to ott but these elderlies still stuck to itv. They want to see good content but unfortunately there ia no good content on itv. So they are in a way forced to see all this shit but thankfully they do realize the difference between right and wrong.

Like music industry and bollywood itv too is captured and run by few big production houses who keep bringing regressive shows and in front of their grandeur and production value small budget serials even if with progressive story line doesnt stand a chance. For example most of the sony tv shows are different and progressive but because of channel's own disinterest in promotion or small production houses they never get that popularity.

So there are many factors that work in tv industry which are contributing towards loads of shittt content.

First things first,I love your username🤣

Maybe when i'll be using a walking stick decades later it will change. I will be munching my chocolate bar with my grandchildren and we will be watching content that is not problematic and I will tell them - I had a dream that one day ITV will change🤣

Maybe its because im more aware of the subject than I was years ago, but I find such portrayal crass and disgusting today. Omg I totally forgot segments like sbs trivialising this whole issue as Sai being badtameez. They are part of the problem!

I know that no amount of complaints will change the storyline, but I just wanted it to be clear, black on white, that this nonsense should not be okay in real life.

Sony and Sab tv shows have seriously surprised me with the type of content they are bringing forward. I am in absolute awe of the MLs and FLs there.

Originally posted by: Chandu_500

I completely agree with the post and all the points u mentioned.

ITV shows has become more worse...

We can't discuss the other shows openly i guess it's against the IF rules. But without mentioning the names i will describe what they showed. U all must be knowing those shows already.

In one show a pregnant woman was beaten by hockey sticks by her mother in law and other family members. Later she slips into coma and MIL goes there and tries to kill her but fails. Later she tries to prove her mentally unstable and sends her to mental asylum. That FL was pregnant throughout all this. Still no one believed her. So much mental and physical torture she went through.

In another show an 18 year old was tied to a vehicle and made her run on roads by ML. He made her sleep on ice slab. He have up heavy weights on her legs. When she accidentally broke a clock, he made her stand like a clock. Never properly apologised after he got to know about her innocence. Later after talking 'janmon janmon ka pyaar and vaade etc etc' he again repeated the same mistakes, he physically, mentally and emotionally tortured her. NO APOLOGY was given.

These are recent shows. And in many other shows ML slaps his wife, in one show ML forced himself on his wife. More worst things were shown.

Waise shows mein hota kya hai?? FL always getting tortured one way or other. There is no story at all in these days TV shows. Always questioning FLs character etc etc. Am fed up.

In ghkkpm at least sai has some self respect and takes stand for self. It is a comparatively a little better than other shows these days. But if they copy that raath ko ghar se bahaar nikhal na and raat bhar bhooka rakhna and sai and usha mausi sitting in front of the house like that and all tho...😴😴

Omg Im shocked at what you wrote. I haven't watch an ITV show completely in the past 8 years or so. And I was cut off entirely. I did watch a few tracks of shows, but that's about it. What ive just read is unacceptable😳

See that's the problem - they abuse, they apologise, they are forgiven, they become the 'ideal' husband for some tracks and then back to square one. It is this very pattern that is problematic. I am seriously shocked by what I read - I never thought ITV could stoop so low. Im having a culture shock with regards to ITV i guess.

I think Sai makes the show much more bearable, the fact that she stands up for herself and for her MIL is so beautiful.

Originally posted by: neeya07

A much needed post to be honest. I totally agree with what you are saying. This is clearly NOT romance. It's such a sad reality that all of this is happening with millions of girls in the name of romance. Thank you so much for speaking up. All the girls who will read this will definitely get your perspective. I feel amazing after reading this. Thanks again ❤❤

Indeed, its heartbreaking💔

What im happy about tho., is the fact that our IF members have opened up against the toxicity in ITV. For a start, there is an awareness amongst us.❤️