Good afternoon sisters! 🌻🌄🌺🌷
Okay, Let me begin honestly by stating that I am confused if I should be throwing the entire bag of chappals or not. I will throw some, where it is needed. But honestly, today's episode from Scene 1 to 2 to 3 and finally 4 have left me wondering if, as viewers, our disappointment from Virat's silence is because he really needs to speak up or because we can't really accept his inherent acquiescent nature -- just because we saw him fighting for his zimmedari wali shaadi wali wife ka medical college admission after the gruh pravesh. But apart from that, his conviction for a confrontation has been absolutely absent -- even when suggestions of shifting the zimmedari wali biwi to hostel were made --he didn't agree but he didn't "object" to it. He finds the best possible excuses to evade the argument and leave the scene by making the other person feel 'heard and vindicated' whether he actually agrees with them or not.
I think there is a need to separate the two roles he plays -- as an IPS officer who can do anything for the zimmedari he takes up (the Virat from Gadchiroli or when he is out of the confines of Chakram Niwas) and as the family man (when he is inside the Chakram Niwas walls), who suffers from extreme conflict phobia. It makes me want to repeat that apart from the three times that he spoke for his marriage/Sai -- gruh pravesh, medical college admission and after returning from the outing, he has never conveyed a husband-like offence to anyone about anything. The three instances were all those where his own decisions were being questioned but when it comes to Sai alone, his support feels shallow in his attempt to avoid conflict. So IPS Virat Chavan did a 'good' job by keeping up the promise of zimmedari nibhana and doctor banana but husband Virat Chavan is failing miserably and yet, expecting too much one-way emotion. I strongly feel that until he's absolutely aware about what he is feeling for Sai, it is foolish to expect him to stop handing out chocolates, candies and jalebis to anyone questioning his "love in majboori wali marriage" for Sai.
Why did Sai agree to accompany him and his best friend to Ladakh? He did not give any convincing reasons but Sai was convinced only with 'mujhe accha lagega'. For those who feel he's not got Sai easily, please spare a thought. He doesn't have to work hard to get her to do anything... If anyone speaks to her in a polite tone with love, she will do anything -- just like Ashwini said and I think Virat himself is aware about it. Whether it's her heart of gratitude for him turning into love or whether she does it just because she also wants to be with him while keeping him happy, she agreed too easily. I don't know if this is also a deliberate beautiful manifestation in the story of how Sai is actually at an impressionable age and Ashwini's suggestions combined with the affection that she sees from Virat are actually making her fall into this complicated web of emotions and the need to fulfill some of his harmless expectations. Otherwise to agree to travel with a 🐍 for company?! 🙄
The scene conveyed the kind of comfort they share with each other when left undisturbed in their space but unfortunately the interruptions are way too many for things to progress...
It was chivalrous of him to correct himself to "Mera samaan Apne bag me daal do"... To make her feel like they were going together and not 'you are coming with me in my bag as my zimmedari' 😅😐 But throwing a few shoes at his false assurance "main aisa hone doonga" for her beizzati concern. 😐 He's never done enough to win her confidence in everyday beizzatis... Waise why do you need to hold your zimmedari by her shoulders to tell her she's your zimmedari and she should fit herself into a suitcase on the trip.🤔🤔
The unwanted terrace scene initially had me rolling my eyes because I wanted to believe in his "Hmm... Kya Fark Padta hai?" said on Saturday. Today's need to provide an explanation after explanation to convince VV took away the sheen from his conversation earlier that evening (Chakram niwas time). But then I watched it setting aside the "expectations" that increased after Saturday. He still appeared to be rather indifferent and it is evident that he has no leftover feelings for the woman standing before him except the feeling of exasperation. But Why do you hand over so much consolation to someone to allow them to be on par with your 'wife'? She can't be and it's as simple as that. Even in his own mind, he knows that Sai has a special place because if she didn't, he wouldn't have forced her to join in the trip when he wasn't even planning the sightseeing, to begin with - which he made clear to Sai saying "short trip". Is he so serious about his "parivaar mein sabko rose diya" that he's actually taken it a step forward and given a long explanation to convince VV that Sai is just another 'family member just like you are...' ? I don't think so.
I think Virat is growing increasingly aware about the reason for VV's insecurity and no matter how much eyesore it is to watch their interactions, it is needed to build-up to the point where he will eventually snap -- we know he can snap when the rubber band is stretched (we have even seen a demo). It was visible on two occasions -- while handing over the rose and even during today's terrace conversation when he pressed his hand to his head in his moment of displeasure. Why can't he be stern? I know we've all wanted "action" from him but today I will say what @msin mentioned on the day he offered to go to the Ladakh honeymoon and did not object to the suggestions (I still feel he should have): he's behaving like a typical man. No, not from the point of view of enjoying the attention Vahini has for him -- it is visible that it's slowly draining him and he can see that she wants to have nothing to do with Samrat not just because she didn't get to know him but because she doesn't even want to... But he's avoiding the instant snapping of ties and therefore the need for unnecessary explanations and silence. Men generally do let a lot of things pass, especially when they are caught in family battles. This is a family battle now - he doesn't have 'confused love' feelings for Vahini but it is his absolute need to make sure she stays in the house in Samrat's absence. Yes, it's frustrating to watch that he's not drawing the line but to him, in his mind, the line is drawn. The delay in conveying it to the Vahini is what is largely letting down the viewers -- now, he's been trying to convey politely and we want him to sternly enforce the boundary but it won't quite happen like that. That's how he's been in all his relationships, even bordering to the point of sounding like one of the toxic people and even switching sides when he's beside himself.
Just digressing a bit -- His response in the scene with Devyani was also similar, as usual. He has never questioned the utterly disdainful treatment she gets. If she indeed has an eight year old daughter, Harini, as Pulkit mentioned, then she must be quite older to Virat. That would explain why he has no idea about what she has gone through?! Waise, Chakram niwas ka samay khatola will soon tell.
(I didn't find the Sai-Pulkit conversation on her need to become a 'woman' interesting at all)
Now in the context of Vahini, he's clear in his mind that she's no longer his "ex". He has moved on and accepted what fate and 'zindagi' have decided. He has told this to the Vahini in direct words during the last terrace conversation and tried to politely reinforce it during the rose scene. She's Samrat's wife and he would like to feel that he can connect with her as a 'friend' as both of them --- only the two of them --- are of the same age in that house and also batch mates from 'how to maturely deal with a break up' class, he thinks.
Add to that the 'parvarish' given by the toxic matriarch where saying 'No' is like pleading guilty to a courtroom charge where the punishment is death. Why does he have a problem in saying 'No' and setting boundaries? It's not unwillingness. It is the fact that he's only been conditioned to say 'Yes'. Saying 'No' is also a conditioned behaviour. And Sai has the conditioning to say 'No' because she wasn't raised to please people but to 'live life to the fullest'. Yet, she would close her eyes and say 'Yes' to those who matter and of course for Virat.
Virat's inability to say "no" is actually his need to have the approval from others to ensure there is no conflict. But why does he end up craving positive opinions of others? It is clear that it stems from a childhood where he grew up knowing that he could not get love simply by being himself. Like Ashwini said, "He never says what's on his mind"..
In fact, on the contrary, he sometimes actually ends up saying things he doesn't believe in. Did he mean when he said Sai and Vahini are the same and so I have you both roses? Obviously not. But as @sukri pointed out, he can lie when needed. His need to calm down Patralekha made him assure her that he did nothing special for Sai because he had understood the reason for her angst. Doesn't he know that she hasn't moved on? I think he does know very well. Does he seek her positive approval for himself? No. It is for this inexplicable need to keep her in that house given that he's aware that she will execute her threat of leaving the house. It makes me feel he actually does not trust Vahini anymore... I don't know why, but despite being disappointed with the entire scene, I still found Virat's body language as being in complete contraction to the words he was speaking. She had given away the entire story of how she must have learnt about the roses -- photo khinchwa rahe thay, roses khareedna nahi bhoole. He wasn't pleased but the issue with this is that he's trying to explain a practical viewpoint to a person who is visibly impractical. His "tumhare jaisi mature aur samajhdaar ke mooh se aisi baatein sun ke accha nahin laga" was not stern enough but it was another reminder to her that she was crossing her line. He cannot see that she's in no state of mind to accept his advice.
And I am not changing side😅 I am on team Sai but trying to understand the man she has to deal with.
If you ask me, I had more problem with his Question to Sai, "Pakhi ko kaise pata chala maine tumhe phool diye?" Why did he even ask her now. And again, it's hard to miss the juxtaposition of the two scenes-- first where his 'wife' stops him from giving any possible explanations why he gave the rose to his best friend and then the "best friend" putting him on the hotseat of the "adulterous imaginary husband".
Coming to the much-awaited suit case ka curious case: kitna bada suitcase hoga jisme "itne din" ka samaan aa saka hai. I believe the scene is incomplete and there will be continuity tomorrow after Sai's snapping with "Virat Sir mere Kuch Nahi Lagte". It was a much-needed needed comment because such reminders will ultimately push him to take the stand we all want to see -- it's only the insecurity he feels about his relationship with Sai that will drive him to accept his feelings eventually after the long roller coaster. But, in the overall scene that played out today, I don't know if Virat can be held guilty of remaining silent as much as his first dialogue of 'this is as good as Pakhi's insult'. That dialogue was as objectionable as his silence to the first proposal of the honeymoon by the family in the living room the previous morning.
Why does Sai have to be forced to stay in the room? Why does his 'best friend' want to know why his wife is leaving the room in the first place? Why should the Vahini have a problem if she doesn't want to stay? I found it extremely insensitive that Sai was made to wait back -- why did she stay? And, of course, we know why Vahini wanted it that way -- to be able to rub it in that she's going on the honeymoon with her imaginary husband... But Mallika-e-Maturity is blissfully unaware that her khayali pulav (not Sai's) has already begun sticking to the pan and soon the odor of the burning rice will be out for everyone to smell.
Waise Sai could definitely smell some of the pulav (read in brackets)
Her tickets book Kar doon (read: you haven't changed your mind about our honeymoon right?), garam kapde rakh lena thand hoti hai (read: you may not know Ladakh in February would be so cold that my hotness would be insufficient to keep us warm 🙄) and tumhare jo bhi kapde hain mujhe de do main ek hi bag me rakh deti hoon (read: sach mein itne kapde lekar jaane hain kya to fill two suitcases? Will we really use them 😉🤭😻 I mean, itni thandi mein who changes, na?😬 And we'll be in the same room to warm each other anyway 😈😸hai na?) do do suitcase uthane nahi padenge (read: won't we need our hands to be free to hold each other by the arms. Oh don't remind me that we can check-in two suitcases at the airport, it's just romantic to carry one and feel one. hamare kapdon ko bhi to "ek" hone ka ehsaas hona chahiye na)
The inexplicable 'hmm' and head nod from Virat at first was surprising, yes. But I don't think he was intending to hand over any clothes to vahini. I think it would be difficult to say that he wasn't going to say anything to decline the offer because Sai couldn't control herself and immediately responded. I totally understand her indignation of the moment -- her restlessness at Virat not speaking of her accompanying them combined with the obvious sense of offense she felt at the cringy suggestion. But vahini wanted the response from Sai. She wanted to spew the venom that Sai did not "trust" Virat enough to let him travel with a 'friend'. Of course, she's still unaware about her burning pulav.
The reason why I give the benefit of doubt to Virat in this scene (and not in today's terrace scene or the living room scene of last week) is because he didn't hesitate to speak where it was needed -- the moment Vahini suggested the honeymoon directly. He was direct and to the point:: "It is an official visit and not a sightseeing trip and I don't think we will have good news to want to go admiring the beauty of the place which may have taken my brother away." I think Vahini's response was exactly that which he did not expect and definitely did not appreciate. It was the moment she would have unravelled herself but just before he could even soak in the unconcealed overture of who she thinks she's really married to... Sai delivered a jibe. I think Virat needed a few minutes to register the words and process the penultimate indifference that had been conveyed to him regarding a marriage for which he made her the promise in the first place that she reminded him about -- when the consideration for the promise has never been executed, how does the promise hold anyway?
And how conveniently did it change to the 'official trip' when reminding Virat how his 'wife' wouldn't trust him to accompany the Vahini.
Now, I get that Sai felt provoked at the beginning and her impatience at his silence about her participation in this search operation while vahini pushed the wrong 'wife' buttons really made her lose it but she spoke at the wrong moment. I think Virat was finally dealing with the suggestion of the honeymoon and would have said something more (may be in the continuation if there is one) but Sai has now shifted the attention to her interruption. I don't think he was wrong in asking her to keep silent at that point. He was wrong in asking her to wait in the room when she didn't want to by calling it an 'insult' to Vahini. Ab of course, Sai being Sai and Virat being Virat would one remain silent when the other should speak and vice versa? 😣
I feel this scene will continue because the Precap is a pretty soooh sweeet conversation 😂 Waise why is it so easy to manao this dewdrop?! Kya jalebi khilaane wale hain Chavan Saheb after Vahini's departure? I wish Sai does snort little dum someday that's freely available in that Chakram niwas to make things difficult for him 😤😤
Honestly, I am not as disappointed with Virat today because I have lowered my "umeed rakhna" for him over the last few days of the discussions we have been having. His affection for Sai has to turn into a passionate love for him to be able to blow his top. But his inability to say "No" where he should and his vulnerability only with Sai, where he can let go of his cork and totally explode at her, is going to come at a cost. While the disparity in behaviour is also sometimes a part of the "intimacy" that husband and wife share -- a million women will tell, how their husbands are different men when they are in the confines of their bedroom in regard to both the good and the bad side -- in their case, since there is so much unspoken, so much miscommunication and so many barriers in between, there are very few reasons why Sai should understand his behaviour as being "forgiveable transgressions" that a 'wife' must see. Until they hand over the spousal rights to each other, she is going to keep saying "Mere Kuch Nahi Lagte" and one can't fault her for it. She will continue to count his actions as his "pyaarosti" for the vahini and distance herself from him.
I would also like to say that I want to view actions in progression of the overall relationship -- they have come a long way. He is not confused. Sai knows he feels something for her. She knows she is feeling drawn too. They don't know if they are in love yet. They have to still express their willingness to give their marriage a try. The third-wheel in their relationship is almost irrelavant to them yet the ghost of the wheel is between them. Until they have the Spashth conversation about their feelings (which is likely to happen soon), the friction will continue.
The issue is like addressing if faulty wheel balancing can affect the wheel alginment of a car? Both are two separate things - alignment is important for handling and control of the vehicle to avoid one directional movement. When misaligned, the wheels undergo an uneven tread and the wear and tear rendes the tyre useless. Wheel balancing ensures smoother ride at high speeds and can actually be achieved only if there is no misalignment.
Relationships are similar too... Alignment in a relationship means moving in the same direction as your partner -- in values of life and love. There can definitelt be differences because two people cannot be same in their approach or feelings-- but what is important is to take the time and effort to align the emotion, passion and heart with your partners'. If not, it will come across as insensitive, partisan and take a toll on the relationship. Virat, if he can see, can have such a breezy, easy relationship with Sai who will never misunderstand him if he shares what is exactly on his mind. I think they need to visit Ashwini's garage for frequent checks on the alignment.
***
Is your wheel balanced enough to drive top speed in love? I am reminded of a thought:: “Love is a that has caught fire. It is a quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.”
Is your wheel balanced enough to drive top speed in love? I am reminded of a quote: “Love is the emotion of affection, when it is on fire. It has quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.”
But then, love also knows how to break barriers, override bhankas vaadas and steer your heart in the right direction to the nearest garage even when your wheels appear misaligned.
Make a pitstop on the way to grab a cuppa -- coffee ☕☕☕, tea 🍵🍵🍵 or some meethi si nadi ka paani in the hollow of your palms 🏞️
Bas, apni hasi ki hifazat karna! ❤️ Kyunki safar manzil se khoobsurat hota hai!
Mujh par chappal maarna ho, toh pairs me hi bhejna, hum sabke pyaare "Dewdrop-ke-KJ" ko maarne ke liye hi use ki jaayengi.
Manapurvak aabhar 🙏
Aale,
❤️J
Arjun
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