Discussion Of The Weak #8 **Joint Family In Pakistani Dramas ** - Page 3

Originally posted by: _NINA_

But yeah if there is small family having one or two brothers than they can easily live in same house with their parents.

https://tribune.com.pk/article/66686/5-reasons-why-every-pakistani-family-will-love-and-relate-to-aangan

Originally posted by: awida

Thank you for sharing your views. 😊

It is not just that a married couple needs. privacy, even parents need to live peacefully when they grow old.😃

Many years ago I used to go to my grandfather's house and feel confused, because they are living there as a joint family .. my grandfather, his 2 wives, my uncles and their families.. it was crazy .🤪

For this there must be rules to continue living peacefully in such system. Dividing responsibilities, sharing the financials, showing love and respect to eachother. The elders have to be very wise to keep the family tight , and draw the lines, to avoid interfering in their childrens' lives. 😊 It is a big task, and I pity parents who choose to keep their children with them after they get married.😒

In our place we follow a matrilineal system... So a girl stays with her family after marriage along with husband and kids.... Bt its not a permanent arrangement.... After few years once tge family grows, they moves out and have a house of their own.

The huge mansions that's shown in pak and indian serials should not be taken seriously.... Its only possible for upper class to have such huge mansions in this time and era.... Normal people cant even think of owning such places.

@bold... Both of your grandfather's wives lived in the same house?

Nowadays its not even possible for all the family members to live in the same city let alone same house.... My in laws have 3 sons... 2 of them are living in different cities and we are living in a different country.... I have seen the same thing in most of the families in our place.... That's how life is.... Job, schooling of your children and many other factors should be looked upon.... Unless you are super duper rich and has family owned business as shown in itv serials its practically not possible.... Once the parents are old and cannot take of themselves they can go and live with their children.... That's most practical solution I've seen.

Originally posted by: awida

You highlighted some of the positivities of joint family system in a good way. when you live in a big family you fight , you have to follow the rules , but in the end of the day you won't feel lonely or get depressed. There're many ppl to talk to.. to share your experiences with. I lived 5 of the most beautifull years in my life with my in laws. Whenever I have a problem with my husband , they take my side. I had the company of my SILs who are the cutest of all. I felt loved and respected. That healed me from many psycho and medical health problems I believe.

I belive none will let his old parents live alone if they need them. With joint family system or without.. parents should be taken care of. Children have to give them at least a room in their house, or a flat in the same building and check them 3 times a day. It is more difficult for a woman to take care of her parents though.🤔 In Sabaat the fl went with her husband to his family's house in the end. And her widowed mother lived a lone. She adopted a boy to get a company. But I still worry about her.😒

I have lived alone with my husband for 4 years until now when he has brought his brother to UK and plans on bringing te rest of his family too so we can live together. As much as I miss our privacy, I have to admit that living with family helps us in a way as we fight less and value the private time we get together more. We live a much happier and healthier life. Often when a couple lives alone they are always together and hence take each other for granted.

Even I felt sad seeing Anayas mum in sabaat and I was happy when she adopted a boy, but in real life that doesnt happen...i feel so bad for women who have no son, and their daughters have to leave them after marriage😭 thankfully my husband is very supportive of me and my parents :D

Originally posted by: VioletOrchid123

In our place we follow a matrilineal system... So a girl stays with her family after marriage along with husband and kids.... Bt its not a permanent arrangement.... After few years once tge family grows, they moves out and have a house of their own.

The huge mansions that's shown in pak and indian serials should not be taken seriously.... Its only possible for upper class to have such huge mansions in this time and era.... Normal people cant even think of owning such places.

This is what I wanted to know from the beginning. Is a joint family a norm , do ppl have such big houses to keep all their children and grandchildren with them? In my hometown they're still living in joint families. Houses there have many floors and the whole family live togather. But in my city it is impossible , coz we have smaller houses. Only after my parents shifted to our hometown that my both brothers became able to live with them with their wives and children. 😃

@bold... Both of your grandfather's wives lived in the same house?

Yes. But in different floors. 😆 Each one of them had a kitchen. It was a big mansion. And they kept fighting untill my grand father passed away. Then my uncles sold the mansion, build their own houses and took their moms with them. 😃

Originally posted by: VioletOrchid123

Nowadays its not even possible for all the family members to live in the same city let alone same house.... My in laws have 3 sons... 2 of them are living in different cities and we are living in a different country.... I have seen the same thing in most of the families in our place.... That's how life is.... Job, schooling of your children and many other factors should be looked upon.... Unless you are super duper rich and has family owned business as shown in itv serials its practically not possible.... Once the parents are old and cannot take of themselves they can go and live with their children.... That's most practical solution I've seen.

Or one of their children moves back to their house (if it is bigger) to take care of them. This is also my idea about the good way to take care of parents when they grow old , or even if they were interested in living in joint family system. So only one of their children should be allowed to live with them. 😊

Originally posted by: Unique.Sheep

I have lived alone with my husband for 4 years until now when he has brought his brother to UK and plans on bringing te rest of his family too so we can live together. As much as I miss our privacy, I have to admit that living with family helps us in a way as we fight less and value the private time we get together more. We live a much happier and healthier life. Often when a couple lives alone they are always together and hence take each other for granted.

This is exactly what I feel. That living in a joint family helps the couple to appreciate the times they spend togather. I lived with my in laws for almost 5 yrs. I used to feel happy entering my room after a long day with the rest of family members where we work togather, chat , play , watch tv, watch children .. the peace I feel after entering my own room and meet my husband is enough to end any differences between us. 😳

Even I felt sad seeing Anayas mum in sabaat and I was happy when she adopted a boy, but in real life that doesnt happen...i feel so bad for women who have no son, and their daughters have to leave them after marriage😭 thankfully my husband is very supportive of me and my parents :D

It is almost impossible to take your lonely mom with you , when you live with in laws.😒 My mother was able to bring my grandmother to our house only because we live seperately.😊

I hate to think of this but I have to say that it disturbs me when I think of a joint family system. I mean living with uncles , cousins , in the same house.. isn't it a bit unsafe for children? We hear about sexual abuse .. and after watching Dar Si Jati Hai Sila , it kept hunting me.☢️

So what do you think guys? Do such things exsist in real life too? I am not jus talking about sexual assault , but also any type of abuse in the joint family. 😕

Originally posted by: awida

I hate to think of this but I have to say that it disturbs me when I think of a joint family system. I mean living with uncles , cousins , in the same house.. isn't it a bit unsafe for children? We hear about sexual abuse .. and after watching Dar Si Jati Hai Sila , it kept hunting me.☢️

So what do you think guys? Do such things exsist in real life too? I am not jus talking about sexual assault , but also any type of abuse in the joint family. 😕

Yeah, i think joint family is fine only when yu live with your immediate family such as husbands siblings and parents. Having cousins and uncles living with you is wrong. As soon as children reach the age of puberty, it is better to move out.

Originally posted by: awida

I hate to think of this but I have to say that it disturbs me when I think of a joint family system. I mean living with uncles , cousins , in the same house.. isn't it a bit unsafe for children? We hear about sexual abuse .. and after watching Dar Si Jati Hai Sila , it kept hunting me.☢️

So what do you think guys? Do such things exsist in real life too? I am not jus talking about sexual assault , but also any type of abuse in the joint family. 😕

I just read an article. A 39-year-old man raped his own brother's daughter.A few days later ruthlessly murder kr diya tha.

Dar si jati Hai sila was a depressing drama.