*Discussion Of The Week #6 Unmarried Women In Pakistani Dramas* - Page 5

Originally posted by: Unique.Sheep

Tbh from my own experience, I never felt the need of marriage until I was like 25. In fact I used to think life is much better being single without any responsibilities lol. Then my best friend got married, I started wishing for marriage too because she would share her romantic stories with me. Then as each friend of mine kept getting married, my desparation for marriage grew too as maybe I felt left out and lonely. See as soon as I got married, now my cousin who is my age also feels desperate to get married.

Same thing with kids, I thought I would never want kids because pregnancy and labor sound so traumatizing😳 but after I got married, my friends started having kids and now I desire to have one too.

So I feel its the people around us that make us feel the way we do. We feel left out if we dont match up to the social standards of others.

I think most of the educated girls feel like you. Marriage seems like a prison, where a girl is asked to look after the house, and give up on her own dreams and freedom.😔 pregnacy and labour scared me too. I even asked my doctor to get me deliver via caesarian .😆 but believe me it is not like you think. 😃

So it is all about jealousy.. women don't like to be less than others. But if they have a hobby , a job, or higher studies , anything to keep them busy or feel usefull .. if they stop thinking about society standards they may live happily without the need to look at what other ppl have which they don't. I know I am the worst one to preach about such things..coz after many years of struggle I gave up to society pressure , and my own frustrations.

Originally posted by: awida

It is sad that society differantee between men and women. My sis was searching for a girl to get her son married too. I adviced her to choose a woman we know. My sis refused because she is a divorcee. I told her , but she is too young and have no kids, so why not? My sis answered that : what if she is still emotionally attached to her ex? What if she is hurt ? She may cause problems to my son, who is getting married for the first time.😒

As Hinna said.. men can even have second marriages..while a divorcee or a widow is getting tough time trying to adjust in a society full of double standards.

It happens in Pakistan too, women are always complaining about not being able to find any rishta for their daughter, yet they look for perfect bahus for their sons😳

Originally posted by: awida

I think most of the educated girls feel like you. Marriage seems like a prison, where a girl is asked to look after the house, and give up on her own dreams and freedom.😔 pregnacy and labour scared me too. I even asked my doctor to get me deliver via caesarian .😆 but believe me it is not like you think. 😃

So it is all about jealousy.. women don't like to be less than others. But if they have a hobby , a job, or higher studies , anything to keep them busy or feel usefull .. if they stop thinking about society standards they may live happily without the need to look at what other ppl have which they don't. I know I am the worst one to preach about such things..coz after many years of struggle I gave up to society pressure , and my own frustrations.

Its not just women but even men...now my cousin is desparate to get married because all his friends are married, he keeps asking everyone to find him a wife😆 last year we were asking him to get married but he kept saying no...

even my husband is now eager to have his own children because all his friends are settled and have kids!!! So yeah its all social pressure

And no dont feel like that. You are just a normal human being

Originally posted by: Unique.Sheep

It happens in Pakistan too, women are always complaining about not being able to find any rishta for their daughter, yet they look for perfect bahus for their sons😳

I wish it is like this in my country too. I mean parents looking for rishtas for their daughters, I would've not stayed single for a long time.😆 I wish all women think of other's daughters like their own, and start to appreciate their good qualities. 😒

Originally posted by: Unique.Sheep

Its not just women but even men...now my cousin is desparate to get married because all his friends are married, he keeps asking everyone to find him a wife😆 last year we were asking him to get married but he kept saying no...

even my husband is now eager to have his own children because all his friends are settled and have kids!!! So yeah its all social pressure

And no dont feel like that. You are just a normal human being

This makes me feel better. So men can get jealous of others too. 😃

Social pressure is a dangerous thing. Many houses were broken because of ppl nagging on them for not being able to live up to the expectations of others. Islam teaches us to not talk about others or interfer in their own lives. Sadly in our society such things still exist. 😒

Originally posted by: awida

This makes me feel better. So men can get jealous of others too. 😃

Social pressure is a dangerous thing. Many houses were broken because of ppl nagging on them for not being able to live up to the expectations of others. Islam teaches us to not talk about others or interfer in their own lives. Sadly in our society such things still exist. 😒

I have seen so many couples getting divorced due to fights caused by stress due to not having kids etc i was watching about this couple on YouTube who were trying to have a baby for 5 years, they started fighting and hating each other. They almost got divorced but then she got pregnant hence the marriage got saved.

Originally posted by: Unique.Sheep

I have seen so many couples getting divorced due to fights caused by stress due to not having kids etc i was watching about this couple on YouTube who were trying to have a baby for 5 years, they started fighting and hating each other. They almost got divorced but then she got pregnant hence the marriage got saved.

Alhamdulillah , that marriage was saved. 😊 But many others weren't. 🥺

Not just pregnant, even working wives aren't safe. They're looked at as hungry for money, who don't pay attention for their kids or husbands. Also their husbands are bullyed because ppl think that they can't provide enough for their homes, that's why their wives are working to help them financially. 😔

Originally posted by: awida

I pray that you have healthy kids in future. I am sure you'll be able to deal with the responsibilities when you'll be forced too.😆 With kids you'll grow more responsible I assure you.

And children help the couple become more attached. Even if divorce happens , children will always keep them in touch. Sometimes they reconsile after seeing that they can't get over eachother.😳

A divorcee with children has her needs too. So if she finds herself a good husband who is worthy of her, so why not ?😕

In my hometown I talked to many old women about their divorces. They shared their stories with me. 😃 Both my grandmothers (RIP) were divorced.😒 In their times men used to marry and divorce many times. There were second marriages, secret marriages , and forced marriages.. their lives were like Pakistani dramas.😆

“A woman can be happy in her life without getting married.” (its me sehar)

Yes I agree to a certain extent with the above, and it’s fine if you’re happy in your life, but in Islam if you’re religious you can’t have a relationship with a man unless only through marriage, so how long can a woman really want to stay unmarried? Can you really control your natural feelings forever? Imagine if you never know what it’s like to be kissed and feel desired, I will feel I’m missing something. And what do you do if you’re attracted to men you see everywhere? How do women who choose to never marry deal with this? Don’t they ever have those kind of needs?

There are some girls in our society who do not want to get married because of their old parents. I have read an article about a famous actress who is 35 years old and she does not want to get married because of her mother. She has no brother and her younger sister is already married and has children. Her mother is a divorced woman. If she gets married, her mother will be left alone and she does not want to leave her mother alone.