*Discussion Of The Week #6 Unmarried Women In Pakistani Dramas* - Page 4

Originally posted by: Geraldin

I guess people want what they don’t have. If you’re single you want to be married, if you’re married you then want kids etc. until it’s ‘been there, done that’. What’s wrong is when others make you feel bad because you’re not doing what they expect you to do. If you’re unmarried and successful you could be happy, but stupid aunties will treat you like you’re a bechari. That narrow mindset needs to go.

It is natural to want to have everything. It is not greed. Just you want to find happiness , and feel satisfied. But a man can't acheive happiness by relaying on outside. Happiness come from within. I am praying for everyone's innual peace. I also pray that none take the wrong decision to get married to someone, and end up divorced. Coz children will be suffering till the end. It is not just about a person or a society. Marriage has to happen only for the right reasons. Take your time, think carefully before you get married, and don't let anyone to force you to do something which is against your will. 😊

Originally posted by: ItsmeSehar

Marriage at age 14😭.How can a mother be so cruel? we should always try to ignore those who do not miss any opportunity to hurt others. My husband came to my country for three months. Due to the emergency, he spent barely a month in Turkey with my family. I have a cousin that I don't like very much. I don't know why she doesn't like to see others happy in life. When does old age begin? I have read that old age starts at 35. I have also read that a woman cannot become a mother after 35.

In my hometown 14 is a good age to get married. Girls grow up fast. They are mentally prepared for marriage. They can cook , and wear make up better than me.😆 So it is common there.😃

Yes. Surrounding yourself by the right ppl is important for your peace of mind. Avoid negative ppl. I ended up staying at home coz I want to avoid negativity. I am even happy that I can't hear well. So when I lecture my student I can't hear their naughty comments.😆

A woman can get pregnant as long as she has period . So women can get pregnant in 48 or maybe more. But it is preferable to get pregnant when you are younger. 😃

Originally posted by: awida

In my hometown 14 is a good age to get married. Girls grow up fast. They are mentally prepared for marriage. They can cook , and wear make up better than me.😆 So it is common there.😃

Yes. Surrounding yourself by the right ppl is important for your peace of mind. Avoid negative ppl. I ended up staying at home coz I want to avoid negativity. I am even happy that I can't hear well. So when I lecture my student I can't hear their naughty comments.😆

A woman can get pregnant as long as she has period . So women can get pregnant in 48 or maybe more. But it is preferable to get pregnant when you are younger. 😃

Originally posted by: ItsmeSehar

I think a girl should get married at the age of 25. I love children but I don't want to have children before the age of 27. Taking care of children is not an easy task, and raising children is even more difficult. Even after marriage, I am still not ready to accept any responsibility. I am happy in my life 😃I do not agree with those who say that after the birth of a child, the relationship between husband and wife becomes so strong that no one can break it. Sorry, this is not true at all. Only effort and love make a relationship strong and healthy, not the birth of a child. Divorce is still a taboo. If a woman is divorced and has children, then there is no need to remarry.Many older women find it difficult to talk about their divorce even after so many years of divorce.What will people say"concept nahi hona chahiye.

I pray that you have healthy kids in future. I am sure you'll be able to deal with the responsibilities when you'll be forced too.😆 With kids you'll grow more responsible I assure you.

And children help the couple become more attached. Even if divorce happens , children will always keep them in touch. Sometimes they reconsile after seeing that they can't get over eachother.😳

A divorcee with children has her needs too. So if she finds herself a good husband who is worthy of her, so why not ?😕

In my hometown I talked to many old women about their divorces. They shared their stories with me. 😃 Both my grandmothers (RIP) were divorced.😒 In their times men used to marry and divorce many times. There were second marriages, secret marriages , and forced marriages.. their lives were like Pakistani dramas.😆

It seems to me that it’s more accepted by society that a divorced man remarries but a divorced woman, with or without kids is sadly left to cope alone. Divorced men are even chosen by single unmarried girls whereas nobody really wants to marry divorced women. That’s unfair and unless we change our mindset it will remain unfair. It’s like they think only men have needs and women have no needs or urges.

Originally posted by: awida

Yes. Having kids is almost the main reason behind women desire to get married. 😆 There are of course another reasons like: love, finding someone to grow old with, or even for show off.😳 There are also many couples who are happily married and don't want to have kids, mainly in the west.😃

Tbh from my own experience, I never felt the need of marriage until I was like 25. In fact I used to think life is much better being single without any responsibilities lol. Then my best friend got married, I started wishing for marriage too because she would share her romantic stories with me. Then as each friend of mine kept getting married, my desparation for marriage grew too as maybe I felt left out and lonely. See as soon as I got married, now my cousin who is my age also feels desperate to get married.

Same thing with kids, I thought I would never want kids because pregnancy and labor sound so traumatizing😳 but after I got married, my friends started having kids and now I desire to have one too.

So I feel its the people around us that make us feel the way we do. We feel left out if we dont match up to the social standards of others.

Originally posted by: Geraldin

It seems to me that it’s more accepted by society that a divorced man remarries but a divorced woman, with or without kids is sadly left to cope alone. Divorced men are even chosen by single unmarried girls whereas nobody really wants to marry divorced women. That’s unfair and unless we change our mindset it will remain unfair. It’s like they think only men have needs and women have no needs or urges.

well what can I say, men are even getting remarried despite the fact that they already have a wife and kids sitting at home!!!

Originally posted by: Unique.Sheep

well what can I say, men are even getting remarried despite the fact that they already have a wife and kids sitting at home!!!

See it’s one thing men wanting to marry a second wife but doesn’t that girl think she’s ruining the first wife’s life? I mean I know there are some women who don’t mind but others must get upset. I know it’s allowed and I do feel sorry for unmarried girls who are desperate to marry but seriously why go for an already married man with baggage?

Originally posted by: Geraldin

See it’s one thing men wanting to marry a second wife but doesn’t that girl think she’s ruining the first wife’s life? I mean I know there are some women who don’t mind but others must get upset. I know it’s allowed and I do feel sorry for unmarried girls who are desperate to marry but seriously why go for an already married man with baggage?

I wish they did but sadly its always women ruining other womens happiness due to jealousy there are very few eomen out there willing to share their husbands...the rest just try to steal him away from the other wife!

Originally posted by: Geraldin

It seems to me that it’s more accepted by society that a divorced man remarries but a divorced woman, with or without kids is sadly left to cope alone. Divorced men are even chosen by single unmarried girls whereas nobody really wants to marry divorced women. That’s unfair and unless we change our mindset it will remain unfair. It’s like they think only men have needs and women have no needs or urges.

It is sad that society differantee between men and women. My sis was searching for a girl to get her son married too. I adviced her to choose a woman we know. My sis refused because she is a divorcee. I told her , but she is too young and have no kids, so why not? My sis answered that : what if she is still emotionally attached to her ex? What if she is hurt ? She may cause problems to my son, who is getting married for the first time.😒

As Hinna said.. men can even have second marriages..while a divorcee or a widow is getting tough time trying to adjust in a society full of double standards.