Thank you everyone for such overwhelming response. Before I start I would just say this is not just an ordinary story. Neither Maan nor Geet are perfect people here. they are both imperfect and here's a story of few people who are no where near perfects. This is the story of their flaws...their imperfections...their incompleteness. Do comment and press like. They inspire me to write better. In case anyone wants pm please add me as buddy.Awaiting your honest opinions.
Please stay safe everyone. Let's do everything that is in our power to help people who need it in these turbulent times. Take care everyone.
I tried posting sooner but somehow the updates weren't up to my satisfaction. Sorry for being late.
Part 43
To forgive
Sameera watched Brij brooding over his drink. Brij had been like this since he came. Last week Sam had moved at her fully furnished penthouse. Brij’s father had been released from hospital and he had brought his mother back home from Khurana mansion. Things had been tough but something else was bothering him.
“Will you continue brooding or tell me what the hell happened for you to brood so much?”
Brij was startled out of his thoughts by Sameera’s sudden question.
“Oh! I was just lost in thoughts.How are you settling in?”
“Stop pretending Brij. That doesn’t work on me anymore. Tell me what’s wrong?”
Brij was silent for few minutes thinking how to answer her.
“I am tired Sam; I am just tired.”
“What happened Brij?”
“Nothing new. My father is doing well. I am searching for some professional help for my mother though I am not sure how much that would be successful. “
“That is a good thing right?”
“Yeah.” Brij sighed. But his fatigue was clearly visible. Sameera got up and sat beside him. Placing her hands on his shoulder Sam made him turn towards her.
“What is it Brij? Just talk tome.”
Brij looked into her eyes and the thought of unburdening himself was turning out to be a very tempting offer.
“Talk to me Brij. It’s me. I am not going to judge you.”
“I… I”
“Talk to me.”
“I am not sure I can deal with this anymore. Most of my life was spent dealing with my parents. I protected Yash and Geetu from them. Especially Geetu. My parents are not going to change Sam and frankly I am just tired of cleaning up their mess. I want some peace.Does that make me a bad son?”
Sameera was sure that Brij must have been at the end of his patience to even begin complaining and her heartwent out for him.
“Brij, it’s not wrong. You did everything for your family but …. your parents had rarely been emotionally supportive.”
“But what do I do Sam? I can hardly leave.”
“Why not?”
“Why not what?”
“Why can’t you leave? Yash and Geet left at the first chance. I don’t blame them. I applaud them for removing themselves from such toxic situation. But you stayed Brij. All those years you stayed. You let your parents rule your life. You sacrificed your love for Tara di and everything. But you have the right to have a life as well Brij. I don’t know why you stayed then and maybe someone like me would never understand at all but now things are different.”
“I owe it to my parents to take care of them Sam.”
“You owe nothing to those people Brij. You paid the price of being their son hundred folds already. You owe them nothing.”
“What are you saying Sam?”
Sam looked directly into Brij’s eyes as she spoke again.
“Listen to me Brij. Your parents were toxic, emotionally abusive pieces of shit. You deserve to have a life. You deserve to be happy. Stop punishing yourself Brij. Leave that house. Not right now but once uncle is a bit better. You can appoint round the clock care for them and everything. You can visit them daily but leave that house. You deserve to have a peaceful place to sleep.”
They were silent as the impact of her words worked on them. Sometimes truth is too harsh for us to contemplate.
“I don’t know Sam. I have never thought about leaving. But I should. For my own sanity. That place has stopped being my home for a long time. But can I be that selfish especially now that my parents are ill?”
Sam sighed. Brij’s questions were too close to home.
“You are asking the wrong person Brij. I am the epitome of selfishness. I left my parents in the worst way possible because I wanted to live my life on my own terms. And that’s not even the half of my selfishness. But I know who you can talk to.”
Brij asked the question even though he kind of knew the answer.
“Who?”
“You should talk to Maan. Despite you age difference you both are eerilly similar. I guess it comes with being the eldest and caring for your younger siblings as a parent.”
“My and Maan’s position are vastly different Sam.”
“I know. But he could relate to you the most. He too had to grow up quicker for his age. He too had to be a protector to his siblings even though the reason and circumstances were very different.”
“Hmm.”
Sameera observed Brij. She had known Brij for a long time. She first met him as the boyfriend of her favorite cousin and looked onto him as a brother. But over the years, somehow, the esteem as a brother had lessened to an extent and now he is just a dear friend.
“You deserve some happiness Brij. Stop punishing yourself for breaking her heart and forgive yourself.”
Brij had always liked this about Sameera. She always was blunt and got to the core of the issue.
“If only forgiving myself was that easy Sam.”
“If you love her then respect her choice as well Brij.”
“Her choice?”
“Do you for a moment think that Tara di wasn’t aware of her power over you? Do you think you could have let her go if she had asked to stay? Can you honestly tell me that Brij?”
Brij was silent and Sam realized that he never really saw his break up in this perspective ever.
After what seemed hours Brij spoke again.
“Why didn’t she then? Why didn’t she ask me to stay? Why did she let go so easily?”
“There was nothing easy about her letting you go Brij. “
“Why?”
Brij looked like a little kid.She automatically became softer in the way she responded.
“It’s funny you know. The way you have spent so many years without truly understanding love.”
“I love Tara Sameera. I love her with everything.”
“You do. I am not saying that you don’t love Tara di. I am saying you don’t understand the concept of being unconditionally loved in return. That is the reason you continue punishing yourself.”
“What are you talking about Sameera?”
“Your upbringing has screwed all of you. I think Yash was the most grounded of you lot. But that is because he was the luckiest of you lot. He didn’t have the pressure of being the protector or the burnt of being the unwanted girl. Your experiences of childhood had twisted your concept of love.”
“How?”
“I will tell you but it will take more than my words for you to believe. Your parents loved you because you were the perfect son. They loved because you took on their responsibility. They loved you because you were the good son.”
“What is wrong with that? Every parent expects an obedient son.”
“The fact that you can’t see anything wrong with this concept shows how absolutely f**ked up you actually are.”
“Speak plainly Sameera. I am not in mood to find hidden meanings in your words.”
“Parents are supposed to love you unconditionally. Yes, they would like their child to be all that is good and strong and perfect…. But the love they show you should not be dependent on that… or at least it is not supposed to. This conditional thing… this is not love. “
“What’s all this got to do with Tara?”
“When we love someone Brij, we give them a certain power over us. We trust them not to abuse that power. But your parents had always used their power over you to control your actions.That’s domination Brij, not love. Tara di knew your situation. But more importantly she knew why you needed to stay at home. And she stood by your choice. Forcing you to choose her would have been manipulation and that is not love. You may think you chose to break up but the truth is, you both made that decision. She accepted and respected your choice Brij. She didn’t hate you for it. Now you need to accept this and stop punishing yourself. If you truly love her, give her the satisfaction of seeing you happy. Respect her love for you Brij that gave her the strength to support your choice. Get the difference between love and control Brij. Your mother wanted to control you so she asked you to sacrifice. Tara di loved you so she made the sacrifice herself.”
Nothing was spoken more and Brij left for home. Sometimes silence can give you solace.
********
Dev watched Geet. He had comedown from Delhi for the weekend to meet Muski. They had a great time and now he came to Geet’s place to drop her off. He stayed back to tuck Muskaan in. Geet offered Dev coffee knowing his preference.
“What are you looking at Dev?”
“You have changed Geet.”
“Everybody changes.”
“I know. But somehow I feel like you are more at peace with yourself. You always had a restless spirit.”
“What do you mean?”
“I am sorry I am going to talk about your past. I have known you for years Geet. You were different back then you know, before Brij bhai went abroad.”
“I still believed in the goodness of mankind.”
“You were a believer then. But something happened geet. I don’t know what and it was so gradual that we didn’t even realize but you became cold. You stopped being you.”
“Even I didn’t know I changed Dev.”
“You coming here to stay changed you a bit but that Geet was lost. You stopped believing in people. You stopped believing in goodness of people.”
“I guess.”
“But now, it seems you are starting to believe again. You are not exactly the old Geet but you are somewhat like her than you ever have been in years.”
“I guess I am working on forgiving those who hurt me.”
“That’s good. You have always been a black and white kind of person. People are neither all bad nor all good.:”
“Hmm. Not all things can be forgiven.”
“I know that Geet. Believe me, I know. But you expect people to always be good and you stop interacting with them the moment they make a mistake. You don’t give any second chance.”
“What are you trying to say?”
“You hold people to impossible high standards… one mistake and they are out of life. You lost many friends because you were incapable of forgiveness. “
“You truly think I don’t forgive people?”
“Forgiveness is not the right word. People just have one shot at you. Once they screw up they are out. You stop letting them in. People hurt each other a lot in daily life, mostly unintentionally. But with you there’s no apology enough. You are perfectly civil but you don’t allow people to hurt you twice. I think it’s a way you protect yourself.”
“Is it wrong to protect myself from being hurt?”
“Being hurt is inevitable Geet. In the best of relationships people hurt each other. It’s how you handle being hurt that determines the path of relationships.”
“So Dev, you are telling me that I should allow myself to be hurt by others just so I can save a relationship?”
“I am really not explaining this very well. Okay, let me try again Geet. Growing up you had two examples. Your parents who always hurt you and your brothers who never hurt you and always protected you. Am I right?”
“I… Yeah.”
“That’s how you see people. You divide them into two groups, people who loves you and people who hurts you. But that’snot real. People, sometimes hurt their loved ones but that doesn’t mean their love lessens. Now I am not saying that you should start forgiving really big things. That is the reason I don’t think I or Meera deserve your forgiveness.But little things? You should forgive those and start building some bridges.”
“What do you mean by little things?”
“Little things like what people say in the heat of a moment. For example, Reema, our friend had shouted at you that you couldn’t possibly understand her situation due to your nonexistant relationship with your mom. Reema had just lost her mother Geet. You judged her for that one moment and stopped talking to her. She tried to reach you but you didn’t allow her to. That is what I am talking about.”
“Reema hurt me in the worst possible way Dev.”
“People lash out when they are in pain Geet. Doesn’t make them a monster. The thing is Geet, you should have showed your compassion to a friend instead of judging her on that one moment alone. This is just one example. Anyway, I feel like you are starting to soften a bit. Your edges are not so sharp. You are less severe on others now.”
Geet was silent. Dev sipped his coffee and watched her. Geet really had changed a lot.
“Geet, I didn’t mean to offend you. But I really like this new Geet. “
“You have changed too Dev. “
“Really?”
“Really. You are a lot calmer now, lot more matured. You think before you act.”
“In other words, I have finally become an adult.”
They resisted a bit but then both started laughing at this age old inside joke between them. Nothing changed. They both know that this one civil conversation cannot change their relationship but maybe they can be somewhat friendly moving forward.
Part 44
perspective
“When is Annie coming back Rey?”
Rehaan was just plain frustrated. Every time he visited Arjun it was the same question in different variation.
“I don’t know Arjun.”
“How can you not know Rey? She is out for a company project.”
Rehaan rolled his eyes. How daft can Arjun be?
“She is gone for a different reason Arjun. The company project was just an excuse. And she will stay away for as long as she needs to.”
The silence hung. Rehaan had always been perfectly polite on previous encounters. This time he was not so and Arjun noticed the difference.
“I love her Rehaan. I want to meet her and resolve our issues.”
“I understand. But nagging me won’t help that. We are friends Arjun. And I am trying very hard not to be in the middle of this mess. She is my sister Arjun. You have already messed with her once and frankly I doubt you are good enough for her. But that’s not my decision to make. You have to allow her to make that decision.”
“I love her.”
“It’s not me you have to prove it to.”
“What if she chose this Vicky guy?”
“There’s every chance she might.”
“What do I do then?”
“You let her go.”
“I love her.”
“Then you should respect her decision Arjun. You should love her enough to let her go Arjun. But that’s my opinion. You are free to make your own choice. But remember this, you are not alone in this. Two other people are involved and if they chose to be together there is really nothing you can do.”
They both silently completed the work of reviewing the contract. Once Arjun gave it a go, Rehaan signed the papers. As he was about to leave Rey turned to Arjun.
“If she loves you Arjun, she would come back. And if she doesn’t then it means the love you shared wasn’t strong enough to withstand the test of time. And its better if you both know it now than after few years.”
Rehaan came to the reception area and watched Pari. She was smiling and handling some client. Rehaan waited for her to be free and came near her.
“Angel, please tell me you are free!”
Pari smiled at him.
“Who is the angel here?”
“Pari… angel… get it!”
“You possibly couldn’t be any cornier!”
“Oh I am sure I can try… I always try to excel.”
“I am not free Rehaan.”
“NOOOOO”
“Why so dramatic? The meeting couldn’t have been so tedious?”
“You have no idea Angel. Please take an early lunch break.”
Before Pari could protest the other receptionist waved her away. Rina had known Pari for years and this is the only time she allowed herself to enjoy the company of a guy. Rina sympathized with Pari and wanted her to have an opportunity to have a chance at a happy life.
“Go ahead Pari, I will handle things here.”
“You sure you don’t mind Rina?”
“Not at all.”
While Pari was getting her purse Rina winked Rehaan. Rey blushed. He didn’t know his attempts to get Pari to spend more time with him was so transparent.
Once out of the office Pari smiled at Rehaan.
“Come on Rehaan… why were you so overdramatic in there?”
“Tell me honestly, would you have come if I had just requested?”
Pari had no answer to that and changed the topic.
“What did Arjun say that had you so frustrated?”
“Same old saga about Annie.”
“He loves her you know.”
“Where was that love when he left her without any explanation? “
“That’s not something we know much about Rehaan.”
“I know. That is why I refrain from commenting about them unless he forces me to. But let me be frank with you Angel. Annie is not only my sister but my best friend as well. I will always support her. Arjun shouldn’t try to make me a mediator between them.”
“You are right.”
They walked for sometime but Pari’s curiosity won.
“Do you know the other guy? That Vicky?”
“I do actually. Annie and Vicky had been friends for years. “
“Who do you prefer for Annie Rehaan?”
“I cannot be unbiased Pari.”
“Then give me your biased opinion.”
Rehaan was silent. Pari knew that Rehaan was mostly an easy going person but sometimes when needed he could be serious. He was both playful and calm… a paradox.
“I don’t know much about the relationship of Arjun and Annie. The bulk of it occurred away form our knowledge. But I have known Vicky for years and seen him with Annie. They have a very strong friendship and they trust each other immensely. I think that can be a strong foundation for a strong relationship.”
“I sense a ‘but’ coming….”
“Well for Vicky and Annie to work, Ann needs to give him a fair shot. I know Vicky loves Annie but I don’t know about how Annie would choose.”
“And love was never logical, was it?”
Rehaan looked at her as he said,” No, there is nothing logical or rational about Love.”
They looked at each other for some time before they stopped. Pari broke the somewhat awkward silence.
“So it depends on who Annie loves?”
“No Angel. She loves them both.It depends on who she loves more.”
“Difficult choice to make for any girl.”
“No wonder Ann left. She needed time and space to sort things out.”
“Meanwhile Arjun is nagging you about her!”
“Oh what tortures I bear for my sister Angel… “
“Oh yeah!”
Pari couldn’t control anymore. Rehaan’s over comical expressions made her laugh. Rehaan joined her soon.
“You are laughing at me….”
“No Rehaan, I am laughing with you. You are making mockery of your own plight.”
“Well Maan always tells me that I have excellent talent to be a clown.”
“How does Maan react to all this?”
“Maan has the better deal.”
“Why is that?”
“Maan can be such a tyrant when angry that people generally doesn’t make him so. Why do you think Arjun always nags me? He wouldn’t dare try it with Maan.”
“But they are best friends!”
“Doesn’t make Maan any less ferocious, especially when he is protecting Annie.”
“Wow!”
“And now that I am taking a more active role in business I have to visit Arjun more.”
“Yet you come instead of sending someone else….”
“Yet I come….”
Rehaan said with a cheeky grin that caused Pari’s inside to twist with unfamiliar emotions. Rehaan smiled at her and motioned her towards the restaurant they frequented.
Pari knew that Rehaan was trying to convey more than his words were saying but she liked things simple. She was not yet ready for more complicated emotions.
“Come in Angel… let’s feed you something.”
“Aren’t you the one in need of sustenance after a trying morning?”
“True… “
Pari moved inside laughing at Rehaan’s antics. But hidden beneath their laughter was an inexpiable tension that was not there previously. Both individually decided not to look too deeply into things but they couldn’t deny that something had changed.
*********
Geet was sitting observing Brij veerji as he played with Muskaan. Brij veerji wasn’t as calm as he projected.In fact, Geet was sure that Brij veerji had something in his mind. But she didn’t know how to ask about it. Once Muskaan went to her room to study Geet decided to start the conversation.
“Veerji!”
“Yes Geetu. How are you? Are you doing okay?”
Geet smiled at the caring side of Brij veerji.
“Veerji, I have a feeling you have something in your mind. You are disturbed. Please share with me.”
“I don’t know Geetu. Things are not so simple. I don’t know if I am ready to put them to words yet.”
“I understand your need for space but remember this Veerji. I am not that little girl anymore who needed your protection. You can share things with me.”
Brij smiled an indulgent smile,the one he reserved especially for Geet.
“My little Geetu have grown up so much.”
“I do have a question Veerji. But I am not sure I should ask.”
“Why the hell not?”
“I think you are in some turmoil and I don’t want to add to your problems.”
“You my dear can never be a problem to me.”
“Are you sure Veerji?”
“Ask away Geetu. Maybe it will help us both.”
Geet stayed silent for few moments trying to compose the words in her mind.
“It has been years Veerji but recently I was talking to Maan and… well, I don’t remember a lot about that time when you came back from abroad.”
“It was a very trying time for both of us Geetu. Please tell me exactly what you want to know about that time.”
“Was I the reason?” Geet blurted out almost without pausing shutting her eyes in the process.
Brij stood up and sat beside her. He placed his hands lovingly on her shoulder and spoke in a very soft tone.
“Geetu, why are you so afraid?And what are you asking about?”
“Was I the reason you didn’t leave our house to be with Naintara?”
Brij sucked in his breath at the name Naintara. But Geet’s tears were more hurtful for him to bear.
He looked at her straight at her eyes and wiped off the tears.
“The question has no simple answer Geetu. I am going to try and answer though. But you hold no responsibility for my decisions. You don’t get to blame yourself. Okay?”
Geet just nodded her head.
“If you had asked me back then I would have said that you were my only reason.”
“OH!”
“Geetu! Sweetie. That’s not true. I couldn’t have let go of my responsibilities for my parents. It’s hard to talk about but I wasn’t this strong back then. I don’t think I could have rebelled like Yash or you did. I was too much under my parents’ influence. I had just started realizing how wrong our parents were but I was still under the impression that they can do the better. So the truth is, you were definitely one of the reasons of my decision Geetu but there were others.”
He took a deep breath and sighed heavily. Geet had begun to cry and he held her to his chest. Pressing a soft kiss on her forehead he continued.
“You on the other hand was the best outcome of my decision Geetu. Though badly bruised, I got to save your spirit my dear Geetu. Watching you be so strong, so loving after the upbringing you have had was the best gift. Whenever you feel guilty Geetu remember this;you or not, I suspect I would have broken up with Naintara. But without you, it would have been for vain. So you made this worth the sacrifice Naintara deserves. So I agree that you are the best reason for my decision but you should not feel guilty of that. I should be thanking you my dear Geetu. You gave me a reason worth losing Naintara over. Our parents don’t deserve to be the reason I lost her.”
The siblings cried clinging to each other. Years of negligence, manipulation and pain washed away and in their heart they felt as if they were getting rid of the guilt and shame they had been carrying for so long. Things would not be okay overnight but they both were making progress.
Edited by aditi_2010 - 4 years ago
Pati Patni Aur Panga
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
198