This part is dedicated to all BKP readers, and esp to Arshi67 for her wonderful shairi :)
Chapter 86
She smiled again and started to walk away. Aranv grabbed her arm. While looking down he took a deep breath.
Arnav: Fine, if it means this much to you, then I wont touch you while we are living together. Hmmm.
She looked at him in disbelief. Did he actually agree to this? He gave an authentic smile. With that he left the dorm.
Khushi just stood there. As hard as if was for her to say yes to arnav living with her, it was equally hard for him to commit to this. He wanted to spend time to make memories with her, and now that he wouldnt be able to touch her. Minta came into her room and saw khushi just staring at the door. Smiling.
Minta: kya howa. Did arnav already leave?
Khushi: Pagal laad governor.
She sighed and looked down.
Minta: what do you mean by that.
Khushi: Minta, i just realized that as much as I thought that I loved him, he always proves to love me more. He just did.
Minta was left confused and asked khushi to explain. Khushi just shook her head.
Khushi: nothing. Did you get the foundation?
Minta handed her the foundation and helped her apply it to cover up the mark.
Minta: make sure to also apply this in the morning. Varna. You will be the new talk on campus.
They both laughed. Minta went to her room and khushi took out a book. Ever since she found out that Arnav was Aish, she stopped emailing him. If and whenever she wanted to talk to Arnav or Aish, she would just talk to him. But this time, she needed to write out her feelings. They were about Arnav, but she couldnt tell him. Because it is something she wanted him to realize. She started to write.
“Today, I thought that I was able to prove my love for him, but at the end, he proved that his love was no less. He agreed to not touch me. Even though, he wanted to move in together so that we could spend more time together. But now with this condition, I know it will become very hard for him.
I love his touch, i crave for his touch. And i wish i would also be able to just go and touch him, hold onto him, caress him. But i have to control myself. I fear getting too close. I fear that when I am close, I will not be able to control myself.
That all being said, today, in the morning he said wouldnt touch me when he lied to me about the marriage. That was out of an emotional desperate response. I understand that. But, today i thought about it. After i agreed to the move. When we were outside and he was talking to me about his feelings, as to why he wanted to move into together, I was just thinking about how close we have become. About how we both have a right over each others hearts and mind. But now, we also have a right over each other. Today, he came very close to me, again. I wasnt able to control myself. Myheart was racing. I was about to lose it. But luckily the phone rang, and i was brought back to reality. At that point he kept on asking me if I didnt want him to touch me. Of course I do. I always did, and I always will. But with limits. The only thing that really got to me at that point was that he kept on asking for permission. Before he always had, and that time was different between us. We didnt have a define relationship. Even then, I have never said no to him. Yes for kissing, but there were many times, for example his birthday, when we were about to kiss. I said yes to him. I myself said yes when he asked. I am scared now because we are engaged, we dont really have defined limits. Today, I was adement about him agreeing to his word. I actually wanted him to realize something. I wanted him to realize that he has a right over me. He has the RIGHT to touch me. He has the right to hug me, hold me. Come close to me. I want him to say to me, that i have a right, and nothing else can stop me. I want him to know that I am his. Fully, and completely. I asked him to agree to this so that he can learn and come to this conclusion. I wore that black Sari for him, because he brought it for me. I wanted him to know that no matter what, I am his. If anyone else ever found out that I wore something like that, I would die from embaressment. Yes, I also have a right over him. And one day, I may also demand my right over him. But for now, I need him to do this. I cant tell him myself, nor anyone else. He needs to realize this himself. If he needs me, i will never stop him. If he calls me, I will go to him, without even hessitation. But he needs to do this himself. I know that if I ever need him, then he will always be there for me. And he always has. I just need him to know the same from me.”
Khushi heard a knock on the door. It was past 10 pm, who could it have been this hour? She got out of her room and went to the door. It was a delivery guy.
Guy: Package for Ms. Khushi.
Khushi signed it and took the package. She wondered who sent her the package. She didnt recall ordering anything. She closed the door and started to open the package There was a nice red turtle neck in it. She smiled. She knew who gave it, and why. She picked up her phone and messaged Arnav, “thanks for the turtle neck shirt.”
Arnav smiled as he read the message, and called her. He needed to hear her voice. He felt a little disheartened that he agreed to not touching her. How was he going to do that?
Khushi: I knew you would call right now.
She giggled. He sighed. He felt better just by hearing her giggle.
Arnav: sorry khushi, I didnt realize that it would become such an big and dark mark. Sorry.
Khushi: its ok Arnav. Its ok. And you honestly didnt have to get me a turtle neck shirt. I would have thought of a solution.
Arnav: no, khushi. You panicked. A lot. You even chased me with pillows
He chuckled. She laughed as well
Khushi: tho..kaam hi aisa kiya tha. Main kya karon.
Arnav: well, i told you that I was more than happy and willing to get a matching one with you and go around the entire university with it. Hey, I didnt mind. I even offered.
Khushi sucked in her bottom lip and started to blush. She scrunched her nose and started to walk into her room. She closed the door and lay on her bed . Arnav was already in his bed. His one arm folded and behind his head, while the other one held onto the phone. His legs crossed. She lay on her side and just stared at the rose photo frame on her night table, while holding the phone up to the ear pointing up. There was silence between them. Silence was always very comforting for them. They understood each others silence as well. They always did, and always will. After a little while, khushi spoke.
Khushi: Arnav, what is wrong.
Arnav gave a half smile.
Arnav: nothing khushi. Just ... thinking.
Khushi: about...
Arnav: Mainay haan tho kar di hai, magar kya main nibha paonga? Hmmm. Its just that... I feel.. i dont know what I feel right now.
Khushi: Its ok Aranv. You dont have to.
Arnav sighed, he knew he didnt have to, but if that is how she wanted him to prove his love, then he would.
Arnav: its ok Khushi. I will. I just realized that today is out last night where I can come close to you, touch you, feel you, sense you.
He gave a faint smile. She sighed and just stared at the frame.
Arnav: Khushi, agar main abhi tumko apnay paas bulaon, kya tum aogi? I know its late, but would you come?
Khushi waited for a moment. She smiled. Very softly and slowly she started to whisper.
Khushi:
Sharamo haya ki chaadar odh ke aaongi main tere paas
Tere dil ki khwaish thi toh aaongi main tere paas
Yakeen hai tere khuluus pe toh aaongi main tere paas
Meri jhuki nazron ki zubaan samjhte ho tum toh aaongi main tere paas
Sihar hone par mila sakungi khudse nazrein main toh aaongi main tere paas
Khudse jyaada aitbaar hai tumpar toh aaongi main tere paas
Arnav just sighed and smiled. She loved him just as much as he loved her.
Khushi: aon?
They both smiled, but knew it was not the right time. Especially since it was this late at night.
Arnav: No, its ok. It is really late right now. Plus, if we do spend time together right now, I .. dont think we will be able to control our emotions. Right?
Khushi: right.
They both smiled and sighed.
Khushi: Arnav..
Arnav: hmm..
Khushi: I love you.
Aranvs smile grew bigger. Normally it was him who would always say it first, but today, khushi said it first.
Arnav: I know..
He chuckled and she laughed.
Khushi: Goodnight.
Arnav: Goodnight.
The next morning arrived and everyone started to go to get ready for the big move. Aranv was excited, He managed to wake up earlier and get all of his stuff packed in a couple of boxes. He didnt have much stuff, well as much as Minta that is. And he knew that if he needed or forgot anything, then he would always come back and get it. Minta had woken up extra early this morning and wouldnt let khushi sleep. She came barging into khushis room and started to frantically shake her.
Minta: wake up. Wake up. Wake upppppppp..
Khushi tried to open her eyes and recover from the energetic wake up call she just recieved.
Khushi: kya howa hai Minta?
Minta: it is the big day, we only have two hours to get all this done before we all have classes. Come on, get up!
Khushis eyes flung open. Today was a big day indeed, for her and Arnav as well. From today onwards, they would be living together. Secretly from the family. They would get to spend whatever time they had together to make memories that would help last what would feel like a lifetimefor them.
Precap: sorry, next update will have the new entry. Became a little ill. :(
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