The complicated web of relationships

The two main characters trying a very hard balancing act right now are HS and Mini😆

For HS, this is about balancing the happiness of his Makaan Maalkin alongside the happiness of his Veer Balika. He has chosen the route of neutral observer and mediator to some extent....diplomatically trying to explore options from both sides but he will be forced to take sides between a very stubborn and headstrong set of mother and daughter.....lol

I really liked how he tried to talk to Babita for Mini's sake.....the way he tried to frame it as a kindness and courtesy to NB, knowing that might melt Babita a little bit since she was just talking about repaying some of NB's kindness towards them.....lol....but Babita ofcourse doesn't want to deal with the Khuranas.

You know what cracks me up though? Khuranas are Ashok se judi kadvi yaadein but not that CD she kept for so many months? 😛😆.....CD se koi yaadein nahin aati thi Ashok ki? lol

I also found it interesting that she again and again kept offering money to take care of them.....financial independence starts making you view the world so differently. HS had to make her understand gently that it's not about money....it's about human emotions and apnapan.

For 17 years, Babita treated them like her apne....whatever may be the reason....obligation, mahaanta, majboori....but she did. So to toss money at them to make them go away as she "moves on" is not exactly the smoothest move especially if you still all share a child amongst you.

Babita is entitled to her independence and moving on.....but there is a child in the mix. Her husband never took responsibility, had no bond or a pull with Mini....but the grandparents do. In her meltdown, Babita forgot this crucial detail. These are the same grandparents she once confided in when she was worried about Mini's state of mind, her loneliness.....now suddenly these same grandparents are persona non grata.....LOL granted they are selfish people, but they didn't exactly torture her. She isn't obligated to do their seva but to go the other route of blacklisting them from meeting the grandkid they too helped raise? Yeah, that's where Babita is making a mess as usual.

On top of that, insaaniyat bhi koi cheez hoti hai....they are old, feeble and need regular doctor visits....their own kids have foresaken responsibility....as it happens in real life many times also....and someone has to step up.....Mini has chosen to step up without obligating her mother for anything....she's trying to balance between her mother as well as her grandparents......HS is trying to step up for Mini's sake and for the basic sake of humanity. But Babita is as usual too caught up in her own head to see the bigger picture.

When one sets out to carve a new life, it is human ofcourse to want to forget all your old bad memories....but if one thinks simply blocking out old memories will give you peace and you will be able to enjoy your new life, you're wrong.....you have to make peace with your past, reconcile to it in order to truly be able to build a new life.

Babita spent 17 years with the Khuranas.....she is trying to spin that entire time as one big endless torturefest....which it wasn't.....yes, there were probably many bad moments, long periods of loneliness....but she's shared good memories with the Khuranas too which she is right now conveniently blocking out. These are the same Daadu Beeji that she was once grateful to for helping her complete her BA after marriage.

And ofcourse, there is Mini herself....if Babita really thinks that totally cutting Mini off from her grandparents will let any of them enjoy their new life as a family in the haveli, she is again being shortsighted.

These are complicated relationships that have to be managed....one can't simply wish them away.

Anyways, as usual, I will wait for whenever Babita manages to get through her meltdown, tears, and manages to explain her real reason for shunning the grandparents....hoga koi darr😆....not making light of the situation.....just pointing out the usual pattern of how this goes. LOL

Was waiting for your take.

THANK YOU, because you have articulated exactly what I have been feeling but was unable to put to words.

I have no issues with Babita not wanting to keep in touch with the Khuranas but banning Minnie is not going to help. Also, as I wrote elsewhere, totally agree about the humanitarian grounds for helping elderly people.

HS ka achha khaasa sandwich banega.

The other dialogue that stayed with me was Rukhsar telling Babita ki bacche hi jeene ki wajah dete hain....or something to that effect....

I think it's going to tie into the larger backdrop of this track.....Babita mentioned that Mini made it possible for her to emerge from a dark period of her life.....parallels may be drawn to the situation of the Khuranas right now as they are hanging in limbo with no one to take responsibility for them.....their own kids have dumped them in the city and taken off.....

Toh agar inke bacche nahin hain inke paas, what is their jeene ki wajah? Should Mini foresake them despite the fact that they do give her love and affection unlike her father did?

Who takes responsibility? That is the ultimate question in life.....cuz there are many eager to pass the buck. So should the grandparents be dumped in a corner somewhere by themselves?.....jeeyein, marein, jo marzi karein? Humein kya? 🤷‍♀️

Originally posted by: inlieu

Was waiting for your take.

THANK YOU, because you have articulated exactly what I have been feeling but as unable to put to words.

I have no issues with Babita not wanting to keep in touch with the Khuranas but banning Minnie is not going to help. Also, as I wrote elsewhere, totally agree about the humanitarian grounds for helping elderly people.

HS ka achha khaasa sandwich banega.

Haha sorry, mera take late evening mein hi aata hai.....I'm last to get to the epi after what I guess is a whole day of frenzied discussion for you all😆

Babita is making a mess of the situation as usual. The issue isn't that she isn't entitled to wanting to break free of past memories....the issue is how she's handling it....in an immature, tamashe wala fashion as usual....with outbursts, ultimatums to Mini or HS....that's no way to handle things.

And HS is back to coddling her....LOL I can only shake my head....all this puchkaaroing is going to come back to bite him😆.....he's trying to treat her gently rather than actually trying to delve into her twisted thoughts that drive her behavior. She says one thing, but is actually thinking a whole another.

How much do you want to bet ki end mein khud hi rote rote patch up karegi Daadu Beeji se? 😛😆.....and without any pressure from HS or Mini....lol khud se karegi I think....the reason they may come to live in the house temporarily is exactly to show Babita that she can't blame her entire past simply on them holding her back.....she seems to think ki if they have any presence in her current life, they would hold her back from enjoying marital bliss again.

When the actual fact of the matter is that she didn't step up to assert her rights in her first marriage....as HS also mentioned to her last week....pyar mein haq nahin maanga aur saara blame sirf dusron pe daal diya....it takes two....and that is what she has to learn.

Originally posted by: AreYaar

The two main characters trying a very hard balancing act right now are HS and Mini😆

For HS, this is about balancing the happiness of his Makaan Maalkin alongside the happiness of his Veer Balika. He has chosen the route of neutral observer and mediator to some extent....diplomatically trying to explore options from both sides but he will be forced to take sides between a very stubborn and headstrong set of mother and daughter.....lol

I really liked how he tried to talk to Babita for Mini's sake.....the way he tried to frame it as a kindness and courtesy to NB, knowing that might melt Babita a little bit since she was just talking about repaying some of NB's kindness towards them.....lol....but Babita ofcourse doesn't want to deal with the Khuranas.

You know what cracks me up though? Khuranas are Ashok se judi kadvi yaadein but not that CD she kept for so many months? 😛😆.....CD se koi yaadein nahin aati thi Ashok ki? lol

I also found it interesting that she again and again kept offering money to take care of them.....financial independence starts making you view the world so differently. HS had to make her understand gently that it's not about money....it's about human emotions and apnapan.

For 17 years, Babita treated them like her apne....whatever may be the reason....obligation, mahaanta, majboori....but she did. So to toss money at them to make them go away as she "moves on" is not exactly the smoothest move especially if you still all share a child amongst you.

Babita is entitled to her independence and moving on.....but there is a child in the mix. Her husband never took responsibility, had no bond or a pull with Mini....but the grandparents do. In her meltdown, Babita forgot this crucial detail. These are the same grandparents she once confided in when she was worried about Mini's state of mind, her loneliness.....now suddenly these same grandparents are persona non grata.....LOL granted they are selfish people, but they didn't exactly torture her. She isn't obligated to do their seva but to go the other route of blacklisting them from meeting the grandkid they too helped raise? Yeah, that's where Babita is making a mess as usual.

On top of that, insaaniyat bhi koi cheez hoti hai....they are old, feeble and need regular doctor visits....their own kids have foresaken responsibility....as it happens in real life many times also....and someone has to step up.....Mini has chosen to step up without obligating her mother for anything....she's trying to balance between her mother as well as her grandparents......HS is trying to step up for Mini's sake and for the basic sake of humanity. But Babita is as usual too caught up in her own head to see the bigger picture.

When one sets out to carve a new life, it is human ofcourse to want to forget all your old bad memories....but if one thinks simply blocking out old memories will give you peace and you will be able to enjoy your new life, you're wrong.....you have to make peace with your past, reconcile to it in order to truly be able to build a new life.

Babita spent 17 years with the Khuranas.....she is trying to spin that entire time as one big endless torturefest....which it wasn't.....yes, there were probably many bad moments, long periods of loneliness....but she's shared good memories with the Khuranas too which she is right now conveniently blocking out. These are the same Daadu Beeji that she was once grateful to for helping her complete her BA after marriage.

And ofcourse, there is Mini herself....if Babita really thinks that totally cutting Mini off from her grandparents will let any of them enjoy their new life as a family in the haveli, she is again being shortsighted.

These are complicated relationships that have to be managed....one can't simply wish them away.

Anyways, as usual, I will wait for whenever Babita manages to get through her meltdown, tears, and manages to explain her real reason for shunning the grandparents....hoga koi darr😆....not making light of the situation.....just pointing out the usual pattern of how this goes. LOL

Exactly my point.she never objected to them participating at her wedding as her parents🙄 then it was her parents to do all the rasams and now suddenly hum aapme hain kaun? . Was that part of your mahaanta too babita? I totally agree with it is her choice whether she wants to give them permission to stay in her house or whatever but rishte overnight nahi toot jaate esp when "SHE" was the one not taking a step back after she was officially divorced from ashok too.

To be edited something came up

Originally posted by: naadanmasakalli

Exactly my point.she never objected to them participating at her wedding as her parents🙄 then it was her parents to do all the rasams and now suddenly hum aapme hain kaun? . Was that part of your mahaanta too babita? I totally agree with it is her choice whether she wants to give them permission to stay in her house or whatever but rishte overnight nahi toot jaate esp when "SHE" was the one not taking a step back after she was officially divorced from ashok too.

To be edited something came up

Majboori + Mahaanta.....maybe she thought LOG KYA KAHENGE if I don't invite my ex in-laws to play the part of my parents at my wedding😆.

And yes, I agree....everyone is conveniently forgetting now how she only went out of her way to keep the connection with the Khuranas alive even after the divorce....wasn't she the one helping patch them up with Mini? 😆....ab bolegi woh bhi iski majboori thi? Kisne majboor kiya bhai? Idea toh isko khud se aaya tha, no? 😆

As usual, the biggest pity is that she forgets that her child is involved in this....Mini is not a pawn to be used as a wedge against whatever grudges she has with the grandparents....she's faltering as a mother yet again while she tries to get whatever phobia or insecurity this is out of her system.

She can be pretty wily if people let her get away with it.....😆....she cloaks things in victimhood without explaining the real issues driving her behavior.....har baar reason kuch aur hi nikalta hai that she's twisted inside her head.

Mere liye toh sabse funniest is that CD she kept all these months and now only the grandparents are kadvi yaadein of Ashok😆

Originally posted by: AreYaar

The other dialogue that stayed with me was Rukhsar telling Babita ki bacche hi jeene ki wajah dete hain....or something to that effect....

I think it's going to tie into the larger backdrop of this track.....Babita mentioned that Mini made it possible for her to emerge from a dark period of her life.....parallels may be drawn to the situation of the Khuranas right now as they are hanging in limbo with no one to take responsibility for them.....their own kids have dumped them in the city and taken off.....

Toh agar inke bacche nahin hain inke paas, what is their jeene ki wajah? Should Mini foresake them despite the fact that they do give her love and affection unlike her father did?

Who takes responsibility? That is the ultimate question in life.....cuz there are many eager to pass the buck. So should the grandparents be dumped in a corner somewhere by themselves?.....jeeyein, marein, jo marzi karein? Humein kya? 🤷‍♀️

No matter what, I don't think Minnie could leave her grandparents all alone in this age. She doesn't trust her father or aunt to look after them.

Originally posted by: inlieu

No matter what, I don't think Minnie could leave her grandparents all alone in this age. She doesn't trust her father or aunt to look after them.

So then why is Mini being criticized for this? .....ab humane and kind behavior towards elders is also cause for being put down? Jai ho😆.....Yes, let's all strive only and only to be selfish in life.....let's never try to strike a balance.....ya toh mahaan laachaar bane raho, ya totally selfish....sahi hai. 😆

This is what I think it's going to come down to in a nutshell:

Babita never exerted for and demanded her rights as a wife because she felt obligated to be liked as a BAHU over a WIFE....and Khuranas ko comfort mil raha tha so they also never objected....she expected THEM to stick up for HER rights.....she didn't stick up for her own cuz she feared they wouldn't like her if she did.

Even now, she has this core need to be LIKED....that is what drives everything she does.....kuch log inherently hote hain aise.....

What she has to learn is that it's not black and white....you can all co-exist together even with your rights, your haq intact.....becoming a bahu doesn't mean you won't be able to be a wife.....one relationship doesn't have to be sacrificed for the other provided you communicate your rights and expectations clearly without tossing out ultimatums and tantrums.

Haq maango....lekin dignity se....not like a child asking for their favorite toy.

It would be nice if that is the ultimate resolution for this track.....Babita and Khuranas talking to each other clearly about where they both went wrong rather than one party stewing in victimhood.

Originally posted by: AreYaar

Majboori + Mahaanta.....maybe she thought LOG KYA KAHENGE if I don't invite my ex in-laws to play the part of my parents at my wedding😆.

And yes, I agree....everyone is conveniently forgetting now how she only went out of her way to keep the connection with the Khuranas alive even after the divorce....wasn't she the one helping patch them up with Mini? 😆....ab bolegi woh bhi iski majboori thi? Kisne majboor kiya bhai? Idea toh isko khud se aaya tha, no? 😆

As usual, the biggest pity is that she forgets that her child is involved in this....Mini is not a pawn to be used as a wedge against whatever grudges she has with the grandparents....she's faltering as a mother yet again while she tries to get whatever phobia or insecurity this is out of her system.

She can be pretty wily if people let her get away with it.....😆....she cloaks things in victimhood without explaining the real issues driving her behavior.....har baar reason kuch aur hi nikalta hai that she's twisted inside her head.

Mere liye toh sabse funniest is that CD she kept all these months and now only the grandparents are kadvi yaadein of Ashok😆

Exactly CD rakhi thi jaise usme supposedly zaalim in laws nahi thay. I am rather finding it funny how people want the khurrannas to just disappear in thin air now esp when they weren't intentionally rude or torturous and from their perspective only have showered love on mini and babita. It is easily forgotten how they have taken a stand and spoke from babita's side only to ashok many times Now this doesn't get them a free pass from all the hurt and pain they unintentionally caused babita but they weren't the worse and just because she now suddenly has changed her mind and decided to severe ties with them doesn't mean she leaves them helpless forget any rishta as you said their is a basic courtesy. Just think of it as that way that they were the protective umbrella for babita for 17 years if not for them ashok would've ripped her apart years ago even after they left home the khurranas in their capacity have looked out for her even if from the fences but the dadu never not keep on touch he used to come and look out for them warna unhein kya padi thi agar they were this zaalim mean susralis as babita is making them out to be. Nobody deserves this in this age agar babita bhi aise hi behave karegi toh frankly usme aur unke mean bachon main farak kya reh gaya. Basic insaniyat toh dikha hi sakte hain. Paise dene se acha get them a place to stay if you don't want to do seva again which is understandable also kal tak toh mini ko lessons de rahi thi about how beeji And dadu should be respected etc etc and now that mini is actually doing all babita taught her she is doing stuff wrong oh come on babita. Mini is just being a well mannered kid with attachment to her grandparents you can't take that away from either of them esp when you haven't drawn the lines when you officially broke up with aahok tab toh halwe /cake bana bana ke bhejti thi inhi "zaalim" logon ke liye when she didn't had too they never asked her too but then mahaan banana tha na phir ek tarah ashok ki baat hi sachi kar di that she was chalu ke apne jaal main phansa ke rakhoon aise apni muthi main rakhoon lol