New to the forum Question abt Babita as a mom - Page 5

Originally posted by: sheeluneelu

I would say it is only writer's fault something is missing for sure. She is the same Babita who had worked whole night to prepare new dress for Minnie. Now she is ok with that her daughter will wear old clothes.

I guess one could question her intentions now that she no longer cares what mini wears. Did she spend all night making the dress because of her ego and the fact it reflected she couldn’t provide for mini? Or was it actually for mini. I find it so hard to believe how the same woman who went thru such lengths now doesn’t even care that her daughter isn’t wearing something nice for her own wedding

My point was more to the fact that CVs have been lax and neglectful when depicting mother-daughter relationship dynamics in the last few months.

Whenever there is a one-on-one conversation between them, Minnie always tries to find what Babita is feeling. 'Tu khush hai na Babes?' "Tu kya chahati hai Babes?". Have we ever heard Babita trying to find what Minnie is feeling. "Tu khush hai na Mini?' Talk to her about her college, her friends, her ambitions. Nothing.

16-17 is the most tumultuous phase of one's life. SO many changes, so many transitions. so many experiences. But Minnie, who acts like Mother India to Babita, has to depend on her diary to pen her innermost thoughts. Aren't they supposed to be in the closest of all close relationship? Babita says Minnie is like her friend but has she ever tried to act like one to her? Why are Mickey and HS more sensitive to the enormous emotional baggage Mini has put on herself in trying to mollycoddle and handhold her mom. No teenager is so self-sufficient and sorted that she will not need her mom's directions or advice or help.

It's not a question of a dress or no dress. These kind of actions (thinking of what your teenage daughter would wear to your wedding) should be organic and spontaneous. And this is just one instance. The camera was another instance.. HS saw before Babita did what Minnie wanted with all her heart. People picked on the pizza saving scene because it was an aberration in recent months. It has almost been exclusively Minne trying to settle her mom down happily and jumping through hoops to do so.

Originally posted by: tantal

My point was more to the fact that CVs have been lax and neglectful when depicting mother-daughter relationship dynamics in the last few months.

Whenever there is a one-on-one conversation between them, Minnie always tries to find what Babita is feeling. 'Tu khush hai na Babes?' "Tu kya chahati hai Babes?". Have we ever heard Babita trying to find what Minnie is feeling. "Tu khush hai na Mini?' Talk to her about her college, her friends, her ambitions. Nothing.

16-17 is the most tumultuous phase of one's life. SO many changes, so many transitions. so many experiences. But Minnie, who acts like Mother India to Babita, has to depend on her diary to pen her innermost thoughts. Aren't they supposed to be in the closest of all close relationship? Babita says Minnie is like her friend but has she ever tried to act like one to her? Why are Mickey and HS more sensitive to the enormous emotional baggage Mini has put on herself in trying to mollycoddle and handhold her mom. No teenager is so self-sufficient and sorted that she will not need her mom's directions or advice or help.

It's not a question of a dress or no dress. These kind of actions (thinking of what your teenage daughter would wear to your wedding) should be organic and spontaneous. And this is just one instance. The camera was another instance.. HS saw before Babita did what Minnie wanted with all her heart. People picked on the pizza saving scene because it was an aberration in recent months. It has almost been exclusively Minne trying to settle her mom down happily and jumping through hoops to do so.

Originally posted by: Jiarao

Agree. Writers are to be blamed for this.

That's the problem with the script writers and CVs of Indian serial. They have an idea and run with it till realism kicks the bucket.

Divorce, infidelity, broken homes are so common nowadays. SIngle mothers, divorcee mothers, widowed mothers are everywhere in our society. Babita's situation is not unique. If anything, after the trainwreck of her marriage, she has found a refuge so stable and secure and non-judgemental in HS, NB, Lala, her in-laws, and of course, Mini, that she should have slowly started to find her footing by now. Many single moms don't have this kind of support system and yet don't let their children take up the mantle of being the adult in the family and shoulder all emotional responsibilities in trying to make her mom happy, to the exclusion of foregoing her own life and dreams. The writers seems to have fallen in a rut of depicting Babita as 'bechari' and 'Minnie as 'wonderwoman' and can't seem to find their way out of this

Originally posted by: Jiarao

I agree with your points here. The camera incident is the one where I lost my connection to babitha as a woman and mother. I understood her frears behind rejesting the camera but couldn't fathom why she didn't think of buying one for her daughter. I am mother of a special child who let alone doing anything for me, can't even understand whether I am sad, or happy. I know that he can never be a support to me still I buy everything he needs. I still dream about his future.. Here Babitha has a daughter who can fight the world for her and she never cares about fulfilling her daughter's only dream? How is that even possible? This was the biggest loophole in the plot. No matter what CVs show now I doubt I can see her as a good mother.

As for Baitha's complexes, everyone carries baggage from their childhood. I myself was bodyshamed for the entire childhood which turned me into a shy and timid woman. But when my son arrived all my complexes took backseat and I changed into one fighter mother. There was no HS to advice me. I did it all by myself.That's how a mother's psychology works. That's whay I feel Babitha's compexes can't be an excuse for her neglecting Minnie's needs.How can she even allow Minnie to mother her?

I think in their enthusiasm to celebrate womanhood makers forgot motherhood is the actual celebration of womanhood. Motherhood makes you to search your soul and stand against everything for your child. If Babitha hasn't done that then I can't relate to her as a mother.

P.S This analysis is only about the character Babitha not about the actor.

I can understand your situation as I too have a special needs child. As a mother, I sense his needs and take actions. I don't wait for him to ask for something. I know if he likes something. I do it before he asks. That's what being mother is all about.

I would blame the writers too. They are so over enthusiastic about empowerment of women topic that their writing has become utterly faulty.

P.S I have never criticised any actor. I just analyze characters.

Originally posted by: rose1000

I can understand your situation as I too have a special needs child. As a mother, I sense his needs and take actions. I don't wait for him to ask for something. I know if he likes something. I do it before he asks. That's what being mother is all about.

I would blame the writers too. They are so over enthusiastic about empowerment of women topic that their writing has become utterly faulty.

P.S I have never criticised any actor. I just analyze characters.

Originally posted by: tantal

That's the problem with the script writers and CVs of Indian serial. They have an idea and run with it till realism kicks the bucket.

Divorce, infidelity, broken homes are so common nowadays. SIngle mothers, divorcee mothers, widowed mothers are everywhere in our society. Babita's situation is not unique. If anything, after the trainwreck of her marriage, she has found a refuge so stable and secure and non-judgemental in HS, NB, Lala, her in-laws, and of course, Mini, that she should have slowly started to find her footing by now. Many single moms don't have this kind of support system and yet don't let their children take up the mantle of being the adult in the family and shoulder all emotional responsibilities in trying to make her mom happy, to the exclusion of foregoing her own life and dreams. The writers seems to have fallen in a rut of depicting Babita as 'bechari' and 'Minnie as 'wonderwoman' and can't seem to find their way out of this

I am sorry to say but I completely disagree with your post. Babes right now is in most vulnerable phase of her life. We saw her and Mini’s journey starting with the dhoka ashok gave . She was completely broken and to add to that Babes got the worst humiliation at the court.. But Babita realised that clothes don’t define dignity of a lady and she discussed that with Mini (basically giving her the right to wear clothes of her choice), when Kammo and Madhu said rubbish about Mini in ice cream parlour Babes was the one to stand for her, She was the one to shut ashok and Mita’s mouth when they uttered shit about Mini. She confronted the principal when he refused to give mini admission in college. She was the one who asked Hanuman to accompany her to the counsellor so that Mini comes out of her depression. She wanted to buy Mini those bangles. She fought with interviewer who edited Mini in the interview. This according to me is much much more above than buying a dress for your daughter. Babes might have given many dresses shoes bags to Mini before the separation from Khurana house . But what happened after that is more important. According to me Babes is best mother in the whole ITV right now atleast

Your question itself says you haven't watched the show from the start. And yet you are here asking this question and making opinions when you haven't followed Babita and Mini's journey.

Babita is a great mother. And has always been. Whatever Mini is, is because of Babita's upbringing. She has been a housewife. Got married at 18 years of age. When Her husband wasn't with her, But the way she shaped her Daughter is remarkable. Babita made Mini the fearless girl that she is today. 17 years of upbringing is of Babita's.

Khuranas have been flip-flopping with regards to Babita. Especially Beeji. But Dadu since start has been supportive of Babita. Mini has a great influence of Babita's and Dadu's growing up. I remember in initial episodes Dadu told Babita that.. "Jaa. Tujhe ab meri Mini sikhayegi Jeevan". He always called Mini - Mera Sher Bachha. We have not seen but her grandfather shaped her clarity of thoughts and fearlessness. To discredit these people is unfair.

Mini grew up without father so it's obvious she has issues. She missed out on paternal love. But I wouldn't fault Babita even a bit. I have watched all of the episodes of PB. There is a scene after Mini changes her Surname and takes after Babita's name to honor her Mother. Dadu comes to her college and is disappointed in her, that's when Mini explains how her Mother has been a mother and father figure both to her. If you want, watch Ep 92. 3rd April.

Mini has a fight with Preet and she has no friends in college. Mickey makes fun of her clothes and fashion sense. Mini is feeling down. Babita is working as Baby's caretaker. They don't have enough money to go buy latest fashion clothes so, she arranges everything with the help of her old colleagues and stitches clothes for Mini. Simply coz she wanted to make Mini happy. Didn't want Mini to compromise of anything or feel letdown by her mother.

And about Photography course. Well, again lot of you people are running with the fabricated version of lies than what actually happened in the show.

Mini was selected for photography course in the start when they moved to Hanuman Singh's haveli. There was no alimony or maintenance discussion. Mini's dadu told her he had Fixed Deposit for her education. When Mini comes to know that she has been selected, she goes to Dadu but before she could say anything, Dadu asks her if he can use her Education FD money coz he needs it for Beeji's medicines and Ashok has denied taking their responsibility. So Mini doesn't even say anything to him. It was Mini's decision to let go of her dream without telling anyone.

Yes Babita rejected Alimony but initially even Mini was on same page. It was Hanuman who told them that they are confusing their ego with self-respect. Alimony is their right. And, so they agreed. But after what Ashok did to Babita in court, they again didn't deem it okay to take alimony.

Mini and Babita has worked as a team. They have sacrificed for each other. Mini has been great pillar of strength to Babita and the same way Babita has been great protective mother to Mini. This is their journey together. You are picking one person and blaming her without any base.

About Mini wearing a once worn outfit for Roka and Chunri rasam...

Then I think Writers want to show minimalist approach. It's not necessary to wear new clothes for every little thing. That's waste of money and fabric. In the age of show-off and superficiality, I loved Mini's gesture. It doesn't show Babita's failure. It shows her Triumph. That she hasn't made her daughter materialistic. I personally am in not favor of material things and show-offs. Simplicity and down to earth approach is perfect in life. Applause for Mini.

Babita would never want Mini to compromise. She went great lengths to make new clothes for Mini when Mini was feeling down coz of mickey's comments on her fashion. I don't find Babita a one bit selfish.

And as for Babita as Mother, wanting to wear new while Mini doesn't. Well, Mini all throughout their journey has kept telling Babita to live for herself. Even then Babita has never really done so.

After Jhumka apology, When Babita was looking for Lahengas online, she tells Mini that "iss baar mein sab apni pasand se karna chahti hoon. pichhli bar to kisi ne mujhse puchha nahi par iss baar mein sab apni marzi se choice karungi."

Even after saying so, she asks Mini in low voice -- Thik kaha na Mini meine? Still seeking her Daughter's approval. She wants to do everything of her choice, yet never not including Mini in it. Mini has been center of Babita's life and in 200 episodes I have not seen that change.