Ep 198 - 29-AUG-2019 - It's all up to you, Babita - Page 4

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rose1000 thumbnail
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Posted: 5 years ago
#31

Hi Jean, I missed yesterday's episode. But I watched today. And yippeee...I was right about Babita not taking alimony was her ego. I wrote it in Padma's thread two days back.

Here is what I liked today

Mini listing all the instances where Babita 's actions reflected her huge ego. Mini's lines justify the tweet by KK when they said that Babita always had an ego. It was not something that started out of the blue. I think Padma, you and I had mentioned in Padma's thread about Babita's latent ego. It existed right from the beginning.

HS giving it back. Loveeeeeeeeeeeeeed it. Finally..even Nilkanth could swallow the ego poison.

NB for showing the mirror to Babita.

I will say something from my own experience. Parents are not God. Parents are not always right. There are times when many parents abuse their kids in the name of discipline. There are many parents try to hide their own shortcomings by blaming their kids. That all parents are right and kids are always wrong is a myth.

I want the truth about Mini's photography course admission to come out. Maybe Mini herself will fire this at Babita next time Babita tries to show her ego and blame Mini for it. Just like HS gave it back to her today, one day Mini should also give it back to her. Babita needs to realize that actions and words have consequences. She can blame others for her own actions.

Also, ego is a character trait. It does not go away. But with proper therapy and guidance, it is possible to keep it under control. Ego is a self-destructive trait. More than anyone else, Babita herself will get hurt if she does not learn to control her ego.

asmaanixx thumbnail
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Posted: 5 years ago
#32

Originally posted by: deefy89

Did she really blame mini for her staying in a loveless marriage with ashok 😳

Yup.

Can't remember the exact words but it was something like, "I didn't want to say this to you but I'll do so now. The reason why I didn't leave that home in all these years is because of you. So that you don't lose a father's shadow" etc.

Thankfully Naeem Bi came in and shut that shiz down.

inlieu thumbnail
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Posted: 5 years ago
#33

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

Yup.

Can't remember the exact words but it was something like, "I didn't want to say this to you but I'll do so now. The reason why I didn't leave that home in all these years is because of you. So that you don't lose a father's shadow" etc.

Thankfully Naeem Bi came in and shut that shiz down.

OMG, Naeem Bi was like a lioness trying to protect Minnie there, and in a way also trying to protect Babita from her own self. She knew exactly what was going on and where things would lead and put a stop to it right away. The look she gave Minnie said it all, that she knew this was a self-destructive path that she would in no way let Minnie's innocence be destroyed by.

She really is a very wise woman. No wonder HS turned out like this.

Edited by inlieu - 5 years ago
inlieu thumbnail
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Posted: 5 years ago
#34

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

I understand your point about there being a biological connection with Ashok but I'm still struggling to understand if having that connection necessitates having an emotional connection too.

I would love to see that father-daughter conversation take place. I think it'll help me to understand what her perception is on all the dynamics that have changed in her life. How has her understanding of old relationships changed compared to the new?

I don't know if HS will become insecure. He has his own relationship with Minnie and as we've all seen, he has fulfilled the role of a father in a lot more ways than Ashok ever has. Even if Ashok does come back and has changed for the better, it doesn't excuse his past actions nor gives him the permission to enter their lives again. I don't know how the CVs are gonna take this track, but I won't be able to digest it if Minnie allows Ashok to come back in her life in any way.

Seeing a clash of ideologies will surely be interesting. As much as HS wants to change the older generations' mentality, there will be certain things that he wouldn't agree with that Minnie on the other hand, would see as being not that big of a deal. This is something that I am getting quite eager to see now! :D

I get the whole nature vs nurture, but the fact is that HS is also relatively new in Minnie's life. On some level Minnie still pines for what could have been with Ashok, but she never admits it. She welcomed HS with an open heart and mind but it did not happen overnight. Despite her strength of character, she could not put her foot down and say that HS was her father and she would live with him even if Babita were to leave.

In Minnie's case she is not indifferent to Ashok, she can never be. There is always going to be an emotional connection, albeit one of pain and betrayal. No matter how abundant HS' love is, I don't see that eroding any of Minnie's deep-seated pain, not unless it is addressed through therapy and open (painful) discussions with HS. As Mickey had rightly asked her, she never cried for her own pain, never quite let out how all that affected her. All that has to come out one day.

I think it would be unnatural if HS weren't insecure about Minnie. He is extremely protective of her too and if what we saw before and during the proposal was anything to go by, she is probably his biggest weakness. He cannot prioritize anything over her and will literally die for her if it came to that. I don't really hesitate to say that Minnie was one of the main reasons for him proposing in the way he did, and his demeanor changed completely. If he feels so insecure that her mother could take her away from him, how do you think he would feel if Ashok were to return and genuinely try to make amends?

For all her bravery, Minnie's gentle at heart at the end of the day. She's generally not selfish or egoistic, does not see things only as black or white (more so under HS' guidance) so I wouldn't be surprised if she considers giving Ashok a chance if he were to reform, especially because of the concept of second chances in the show. Hatred is not the only feeling she can have for Ashok - I see them working towards a more neutral/formal relationship.

How would that make HS feel? Possessive? Protective? Insecure? I'd say all of the above, because in that case HS would no longer be just "filling the void of a father" in Minnie's life left by Ashok, who would now try to do that. There would have to be something about HS that would make Minnie put him above everyone else, even her biological father who may have sincerely turned over a new leaf, not to mention is father to her sibling and probably still married to Meeta, a woman she looks up to. Right now, the HS-Babita equation is quite shaky so even the marriage is not 100% guarantee for HS and Minnie's bond to be secure, though it is much more of a relief to HS now. How much of Minnie's anger towards her father is because of Babita and how much is it because of her own equation with him? How would that change over time when she starts to view the world through her own eyes instead of the cataract that is Babita's pain?

Minnie loves Babita, but I wouldn't say she looks up to her or considers her a role model. Ashok couldn't be that for her either, but HS has always been. Do you remember how stunned he was when they had that argument and she revealed the extent of her admiration and hero-worshipping of him? He had never imagined or expected that and has been very conscious of his conduct around her since then. She still thinks HS is as close to perfection as possible, and now that she sees her mother's flaws her feelings for him will take on a different perspective because she will see him in a different light, have more sympathy for him.

I am just thinking aloud here, that's all. There is definitely something there. Perhaps I am unable to articulate it.

inlieu thumbnail
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Posted: 5 years ago
#35

Originally posted by: Tshaheen

Nice ,sweet and short reviews. I really loved how you explained the whole episode. Yes,NB s whole lecture was so much needed for Babita and Minnie’s one too! We all know Babita is very insecure person (for me) but today she showed us that she is kinda stupid too(sorry) but what did HS and Poonam did that she got so offended ??just listen after “chuggli “or “Kan varai” from that stupid Preets mom?. Babita should grow up little bit or use her head a little too,because she is not a teenager to blame/insult and hurt and not trusting HS.I also want her to apologize to HS coz it’s really not fare to him. Thanks for your reviews!,,

Thanks, dear!

Her mental age is still that of a teenager in some ways. The whole child marriage comment may have seemed like a joke but the underlying message from the CVs was on point there.

inlieu thumbnail
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Posted: 5 years ago
#36

Originally posted by: kit0kat

Mickey is right. Mini needs to think about herself. How long she is going to pamper Babita? I have not seen todays episode yet but what I saw yesterday, Babita is one insecure woman showing immaturity at her level. We will see more insecurity and possessiveness from Babita. In one of my other post, I made a comment that men do get turn off by woman's behavior, and showing insecurity and possessiveness can be one of the reason to get turned off by. My comment did not go well with some, but that was my opinion. Poonam is her best friend and she was one who told Babita to go ahead with HS.. Even then Babita showed jealousy and insecurity. I really hope Mini goes away to study and let Babita fight her own battles with HS. Babita has a lot of learn on her own without Mini.

@bold, this is essential for Minnie' survival. Why do I get the feeling that HS will encourage this more and more so that mother-daughter don't end up suffocating each other?

inlieu thumbnail
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Posted: 5 years ago
#37

Originally posted by: rose1000

Hi Jean, I missed yesterday's episode. But I watched today. And yippeee...I was right about Babita not taking alimony was her ego. I wrote it in Padma's thread two days back.

Here is what I liked today

Mini listing all the instances where Babita 's actions reflected her huge ego. Mini's lines justify the tweet by KK when they said that Babita always had an ego. It was not something that started out of the blue. I think Padma, you and I had mentioned in Padma's thread about Babita's latent ego. It existed right from the beginning.

HS giving it back. Loveeeeeeeeeeeeeed it. Finally..even Nilkanth could swallow the ego poison.

NB for showing the mirror to Babita.

I will say something from my own experience. Parents are not God. Parents are not always right. There are times when many parents abuse their kids in the name of discipline. There are many parents try to hide their own shortcomings by blaming their kids. That all parents are right and kids are always wrong is a myth.

I want the truth about Mini's photography course admission to come out. Maybe Mini herself will fire this at Babita next time Babita tries to show her ego and blame Mini for it. Just like HS gave it back to her today, one day Mini should also give it back to her. Babita needs to realize that actions and words have consequences. She can blame others for her own actions.

Also, ego is a character trait. It does not go away. But with proper therapy and guidance, it is possible to keep it under control. Ego is a self-destructive trait. More than anyone else, Babita herself will get hurt if she does not learn to control her ego.

Yes, glad HS went back to his usual self and stopped her in her tracks, didn't let her walk all over him and continue to insult him like that. He knows her very well indeed.

I also want the truth about the course to come in and for them to show how Minnie felt when she let that opportunity go, and how she still feels about it deep down.

Totally agree that being egoistic is not something that a person can suddenly forget or abandon. It will rear its ugly head from time to time and as you said, it will hurt Babita more than anyone else,

rivaanvira thumbnail
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Posted: 5 years ago
#38

Happy with the episode, felt like a heavy weight was lifted off the chest (including mine)..

It was high time someone confronted her about her ego and I am glad that mirror was held by Minnie and no one else.

It was natural of babes to project her fear to Minnie that all she did was for her. Because for an egoist it is always about showcasing that they did it for others, they never address their own fear. From what I see and understand, her insecurities and ego were addressed but only insecurities were resolved. Ego is yet to be resolved .. I am expecting ego tussle to come up again after marriage .. At the end too when she started crying, it felt that she hasn't gotten over her past yet .. Hence the insecurities .. Another thing that became very clear .. that her sheer insecurity is making her grab onto HS, .. what if she looses him too .. again !! .. holding onto him even tight .. suffocating him .. questioning his love to hear his assurance .. fanning the insecurities at a low flame .. but never dying at all .. The day she goes beyond her superficial self, will be the day her layers of ego will start peeling off, starting with her insecurities & fear .. and we will begin to see the mature & wise Babita .. I hope CVs have planned for this and not torture with this too long ..

Loved HS outburst, at the end of the day how much can you keep proving someone that you love them .. And definitely not in front of others .. He obviously didn't appreciate how their private differences became public - his daughter, his confidante and her confidante .. But I am glad he did .. I felt bad for him when he said that I am a human too, it hurts me too .. !! Finally he expressed his pain to Minni and to Babes ..

His pain was continuously brewing inside him, to the extent that we were feeling it with him being restrained in his interaction with her. It will take him sometime before he becomes comfortable around her. Doodh ka Jala chaach bhi phoonk ke peeta hai .. I am awaiting to see if he starts calling her babitaji/babita or kiraydarneji .. because to me saying her name has an altogether different significance in his life .. like imarti .. will wait & watch ..

Whistles for NBfor fiercely protecting Minni against her mother's blame game .. and confronting babes to deal with her insecurities & fear instead and not compare Ashok & HS.. I liked how by confronting her she opened that door of her insecurities to seep out just like an elder helping his/her child let go of the fear thats holding them back from moving forward/trying ..

Will wait for CVs to unfold things for us rather then jump the gun .. because they always do address our concerns in the most amazing way .. !!

Was awaiting since afternoon to share my thoughts on today's episode .. finally got to it..

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Posted: 5 years ago
#39

Originally posted by: inlieu

Good episode after a long time.

HS showed why he is HS. He was flirting like an expert but still never crossed his limits. It was hilarious how he was trying to extract himself from Poona's grip and then was ended up as part of the tug of war between Kammo and her.

With his flirting, bloody hell .. even I lose my heart to him .. ❤️🤪

He did a great job controlling his anger with Babita - I thought he was about to smash something after the way she insulted him again, this time in front of everyone else. Even his Veer Balika could not calm him down. I loved that Minnie saw firsthand how her mother treats HS, things that often happened in her absence, and now she can correlate this behavior with other things Babita has done in the past.

I don't know if calming was what he was looking for .. I feel it had to with her questioning him publicly that made him lose his cool ..

Everyone took Babita down a notch. It was much-needed. I think it was temporary though. This will surface again because ego is not something you can turn on and off with a switch. She will have to be mindful of it because she won't always have someone to show her the way or detect these things on her behalf. We will also see her insanely jealous side at some point.

Yes I foresee it happening .. because I didn't see her realize her grandmother ego .. She only realized the fact that she hadn't moved on from her past yet ..

The episode started with everyone teasing HS about wanting to get a glimpse of Babita but now I hope she will be the one trying to pacify him and apologize because she went beyond overboard and really hurt him. Forget HS, by her behavior today she was losing her dignity and that hurt HS even more.

I am not anticipating this to happen tomorrow due to all interruptions from Lovely/Sukhi .. From the videos of roka, it looked like he was participating in functions but not with his full heart in it .. But will wait to see what trick CVs have up their sleeve

We've been wanting him to stop being so over-protective and not walk on eggshells around her because it is toxic. We wanted him to tell her when he feels hurt on the spot and not days or months later, and he did. I wouldn't go so far as to say it was poison, or if it was then the small quantity that he drank recently came out.

OMG yes .. I so wanted him to stop hurting by blurting it all out .. thank God he did ..

I think he shocked Minnie too with the way he said he was a human being after all and his heart was wounded too, something he has never done before. This is a great learning for her to see both sides of the coin, and with NB's insights she formed the full picture. I think she is going to be more observant next time her parents fight and note that it's not always HS' fault or that he can't be made to suffocate just because he promised to keep her mother happy. He also finally voiced what he felt about the concept of love as well as being constantly asked to prove it, and just as with the camera argument he flipped things round and challenged her conception of his love for her. I think this repeated provoking by Babita is going to make him insecure about his future with Babita, so what Ashnoor said in the segment about their chat later on makes a bit more sense.

I think this will help Minni not to exert that promise in the future .. Because now she is aware that he is making all the efforts to keep her babes happy .. He will .. It's natural .. so much uncertainty .. is it even worth entering into a marriage !!

For once, even Lala understood what HS had been trying to explain to him in the police station the other day about Babita's nature. Lala has never been shown to be angry or disappointed with Babita, but today he was. They didn't show Poonam after HS walked out. My guess is she's still around and will be able to help Babita see things better. She knows her friend's nature and seeing it manifest this way should not come as a surprised to her.

I feel really bad for Babita. I understand where she is coming from but she needs to think hard before making such mistakes over and over because she will end up pushing everyone away, especially Minnie, who has now started sharing everything with her diary instead of her mother because on some level she feels she can't get through to her. I don't want her to be left all alone because of being consumed by her insecurities.

Not sure if you noticed, but there was fear on her face when HS told her to call the marriage off if she wanted to .. She wants him so badly that she doesn't realize that she is committing a mistake by getting into this marriage without addressing the current situation clearly .. This is only going to escalate in the future .. with her ego damaging it further ..

NB is the best. We need more women like her to provide a good example of how to be strong but generous and wise at the same time. She didn't need to give Babita a massive lecture - her words were to the point and touched upon all the things we have been saying. I almost felt as if the writers were echoing all the words that we've been saying here for the past few days. The best line was when she asked Babita to stop being unfair to HS and herself through constant comparisons with Ashok, indicating that she had not gotten rid of the baggage of her past.

There is a reason why they showed HS and Mickey. I got FIL and SIL vibes, but apart from that, HS took his time to calm down slightly and refused to make the same mistake as he had just seen Babita make: taking your anger out on the wrong person and also how a fit of momentary rage had the potential to ruin everything. I loved Lala as well in the way he didn't leave HS' side and knew exactly how to pacify him - even HS listened to his words and drew some proud looks from Lala. I am sure HS will also never leave his side if he ever has issues with Geeta Kumari, who I am still hopeful of seeing. She is a lucky woman, indeed.

I couldn't understand HS expression here .. Didn't understand the significance of the hug

The whole subdued feeling we were getting from everyone was delightfully deliberate, and it culminated in a fantastic fashion. They came full circle with these themes since episodes 194 and 195. I am pleased with how the episode turned out, now that people's emotions are out in the open.

PS, rather than a minute-by-minute analysis of the episode, I decided to go with an overall first impression post. I will add more comments once I watch it again, but would love to hear your thoughts.

Edited by sanam912 - 5 years ago
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Posted: 5 years ago
#40

Originally posted by: Mishti_Dahi

Even happier cause Babita realised her mistake in the end and quite embarrassingly wept to herself. I want her manaofying HS. I just WANT THIS ANYHOW.

I don't know if she has realized her mistake .. It felt as if she realized she hasn't been able to forgo her past/Ashok/marriage/divorce ..

Lol at attention span .. I have been forgetting things the very next moment .. Short-term memory loss case..

Hi, I am Ami .. Do I know you .. 2 mins later .. Hi, I am Ami .. Do I know you ..🤣

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