Re: Let Mini Grow up no Boyfriend story - Page 3

It might surprise people that there are people like us who do talk to out daughters about the birds and the Bees etc and I find really stupid how it is expected if them to have Boyfriends the minute they turn 16 + and not to study but think its the done thing to have boyfriends.

No wonder there are so many teen pregnancies etc and many young girls have harassment as it is expected of them to have the Boyfriend etc.

Its little wonder that India has such a high number of rapes etc. Because all if this starts when they are in School etc

Yes we are Indians and we will talk and girls reputations get spoiled etc

I don't see what the big problem is if Minnie even does have a boyfriend. She's a smart girl who knows what she wants out of life and what her priorities are. To assume she can't take care of herself is ridiculous.

Currently, Minnie is not ready for a romantic relationship because she doesn't have a very fixed and positive view on love. Yes, she has mentioned HS helped to reignite her belief in it but it's all still very complicated for her. She considers it to be nothing less than a nuisance and causes unnecessary heartbreak and grief. Given this mindset, if she were to have a boyfriend, she would place a lot of expectations on him and would essentially want the relationship to operate on her terms, rather than it being something balanced.

As for the notion that sixteen year old girls are expected to have boyfriends - this is something that has been propagated by the media and the company that one hangs out with. Regardless of what you try to do, you can't escape crushes and infatuations. It's a normal part of growing up and rather than trying to suppress it, it should be addressed and dealt with in a healthy manner. No one puts these teenagers at gunpoint and tell them to date each other. They do it purely out of their own choice. It's their way of growing up and learning from one another. Do some of them make mistakes? Yes. Do they learn from them? Yes. And who's to decide what that relationship will look like? That's entirely up to the individuals. Some may want to engage in sexual activities while others may want to refrain from it. We can't stop them because if they really put their minds to it, they'll figure out a way to get what they want one way or another. All we can do is educate them on how to be safe. The rest is their choice.

Girls' emancipation doesn't lie in them choosing studies over love. That's a dictation that is being enforced by society and parents. True girls' emancipation lies in letting them choose whatever path they want to take. It's letting them know that they have the freedom to chase after whatever it is they want - love, higher education, career, fancy cars, big homes, wanting to look beautiful, whatever they want. They have the freedom to want it without having to fear "log kya kahenge".

What you want for your daughters, that's on you. I'm not going to comment on it. What I don't appreciate is you insulting other members for disagreeing with your POV. You're free to post your thoughts and opinions, but please refrain from insulting others when their own opinion differs from yours.

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

I don't see what the big problem is if Minnie even does have a boyfriend. She's a smart girl who knows what she wants out of life and what her priorities are. To assume she can't take care of herself is ridiculous.

Currently, Minnie is not ready for a romantic relationship because she doesn't have a very fixed and positive view on love. Yes, she has mentioned HS helped to reignite her belief in it but it's all still very complicated for her. She considers it to be nothing less than a nuisance and causes unnecessary heartbreak and grief. Given this mindset, if she were to have a boyfriend, she would place a lot of expectations on him and would essentially want the relationship to operate on her terms, rather than it being something balanced.

As for the notion that sixteen year old girls are expected to have boyfriends - this is something that has been propagated by the media and the company that one hangs out with. Regardless of what you try to do, you can't escape crushes and infatuations. It's a normal part of growing up and rather than trying to suppress it, it should be addressed and dealt with in a healthy manner. No one puts these teenagers at gunpoint and tell them to date each other. They do it purely out of their own choice. It's their way of growing up and learning from one another. Do some of them make mistakes? Yes. Do they learn from them? Yes. And who's to decide what that relationship will look like? That's entirely up to the individuals. Some may want to engage in sexual activities while others may want to refrain from it. We can't stop them because if they really put their minds to it, they'll figure out a way to get what they want one way or another. All we can do is educate them on how to be safe. The rest is their choice.

Girls' emancipation doesn't lie in them choosing studies over love. That's a dictation that is being enforced by society and parents. True girls' emancipation lies in letting them choose whatever path they want to take. It's letting them know that they have the freedom to chase after whatever it is they want - love, higher education, career, fancy cars, big homes, wanting to look beautiful, whatever they want. They have the freedom to want it without having to fear "log kya kahenge".

What you want for your daughters, that's on you. I'm not going to comment on it. What I don't appreciate is you insulting other members for disagreeing with your POV. You're free to post your thoughts and opinions, but please refrain from insulting others when their own opinion differs from yours.

Thanks. For the whole thing and especially the bit on tolerance at the end. So lacking here!!

very well and aptly put. This is what emancipation and empowerment really is!

In fact Minnie also has her journey to embark on, her own journey towards self-discovery, cleansing because as you explained she is messed up right now with regard to love and feels more comfortable friendzoning all prospective suitors. She also has a lot of growing up to do. So she is just not ready yet but not because of the reasons mentioned by the poster but because of her own second-hand bitter experience and understanding of love relationships.

Originally posted by: Padmajaan

In fact Minnie also has her journey to embark on, her own journey towards self-discovery, cleansing because as you explained she is messed up right now with regard to love and feels more comfortable friendzoning all prospective suitors. She also has a lot of growing up to do. So she is just not ready yet but not because of the reasons mentioned by the poster but because of her own second-hand bitter experience and understanding of love relationships.

Originally posted by: LoveInAutumn26

Mini can date at the age of 17 and not get married until 27, or even later. Her life her choice. Just because you start dating or love someone, doesn’t mean that you need to get married right away. Especially Mini is just a teenager, she needs to explore herself first, fall in love, have a heartbreak, learn from it, focus on her career. Aisa nahi hai ki ladka ladki ek dusre ko pyar karte hain at the age of 18, and they immediately need to get married. People need to get over this mindset that pyar huya = immediate shadi.

They can date, fall in love, focus on each other’s carrier and become independent, maybe travel together, live-in, and get married when they feel it’s the right time for them to get married

Word to your post!

Originally posted by: guddi01

It might surprise people that there are people like us who do talk to out daughters about the birds and the Bees etc and I find really stupid how it is expected if them to have Boyfriends the minute they turn 16 + and not to study but think its the done thing to have boyfriends.

No wonder there are so many teen pregnancies etc and many young girls have harassment as it is expected of them to have the Boyfriend etc.

Its little wonder that India has such a high number of rapes etc. Because all if this starts when they are in School etc

Yes we are Indians and we will talk and girls reputations get spoiled etc

Bold : not even sure how you can correlate having a bf at mini’s age (few months shy of 18) to the number of rapes in India?! 🤯

Just some random stats here: 4 in 10 victims that are raped every day are minors and over 95% of rapes committed are done so by family members. Make of this what you will.

Bold 2: the solution to this is to change that mentality and stop talking, due to the societal pressures this creates. As an Eg, because of this talking and spoiling of reputations a woman who’s raped is treated like she’s got leprosy, through no fault of her own.

With respect of teen pregnancies, I think it’s more to do with previous traditions of marrying girls off from 12, which is now changed to 18, than girls having bfs.

If u speak to your girls about the birds and the bees I’m sure you’ve also mentioned just what having a kid is like and how abstinence is probably the best idea to avoid the life changing prospect of kids before one is ready. Yes there will be the odd case where a girl will fall pregnant, but I don’t imagine it will be any more than currently where girls are meeting guys anyways behind everyone’s back and being uneducated on the consequences of sex.

Originally posted by: guddi01

It might surprise people that there are people like us who do talk to out daughters about the birds and the Bees etc and I find really stupid how it is expected if them to have Boyfriends the minute they turn 16 + and not to study but think its the done thing to have boyfriends.

No wonder there are so many teen pregnancies etc and many young girls have harassment as it is expected of them to have the Boyfriend etc.

Its little wonder that India has such a high number of rapes etc. Because all if this starts when they are in School etc

Yes we are Indians and we will talk and girls reputations get spoiled etc

Oh my God! Why did you take this from relationships to teenage pregnancies? There are so many people in this world (teenagers) who are in a relationship, but do they really end up getting pregnant? Yeh soch kitni purani hai. It actually does not make any sense. And rapes? I dont understand why is this context getting its mention here. Let's not discuss about such a sensitive topic, on this forum. But, I really dont get why would you drag pregnancies into this? This means, girls cannot be friends with boys? If it happens, would it lead to complications? Today's generation is definitely much smarter in terms of such matters. Everyone (at least most) knows their limits. Anyways, let's just close the topic here. I think, CVs know their job. Let's not ourself decide the story, when there are professionals.

minni is happy with her friends at this point .

as cvs said she is yet to be in coming of age still many things to learn before any love track begins .

what mickey minni share is great friendship which is as important to minni as is her childhood friend preet kaure .