Our beloved Samaina are now married and readjusting their lives as a couple. Getting used to each other 24 by 7 and slowly uncovering facets/ habits of each other, some good and some not so good.
One aspect they have touched upon which is a very very important part of adjustment post marriage is existing friendships and how to balance them along with your marriage. We saw how Sameer sneaked out to hang around with the boys and Naina was upset coz she was left all alone.
This is a true situation and more difficult for new Indian brides, especially of the 90s or earlier generations. Many girls were married in different cities, sometimes different countries and with marriage, they had to loose their valuable friendships and with it a non judgemental reliable support system. Few survived with long distance letter writing.
Even if they were married in same cities, many were not allowed to continue their friendships or were expected to be friends with their spouse's friends' wives, irrespective of whether they gelled with them or not.
So while in a new marriage, friendships take a back seat, in a while, we all need our close friends to talk and all the more post marriage to rant about husbands, in laws, their living habits etc. đAlso, sometimes it is just to harmlessly vent out frustrations and one can't do the same with parents because they can misconstrue the situation and get worried. These friendships are all the more valuable when you have children to share insights about bringing up children or to simply confess how you are doing your parenting all wrongđ
For guys, it's no different, though they say for many Indian men, especially who continue living with their parents post marriage, life doesn't change, but it does. They have to deal with balancing relationships with their wives as well as their mothers. đ
I feel it is very important for all couples to give equal importance to their friendships post marriage coz once the initial euphoria of marriage fades and you get back to the daily grind, you do need your friends as your absorbing sponge and cushions who are there not only for venting out but also for cheering you, supporting you, critiquing you and telling you as it is.
Also it is healthy for all couples to give space to each other and have individual plans with their gang of friends which doesn't involve their spouses.
I am glad that YUDKBH gives equal importance to friendships and the VOs have many a times reiterated its importance. So loved it when Sameer said that earlier we used to meet for a couple of hours but now we are living 24/7 together so what's the harm in going out for a couple of hrs.
What is also interesting is Samaina are still in college and they are used to spending a large part of their time with their friends unlike a scenario where you are married once you are into jobs where because of your work commitments, you can't hang around your friends all the time anyway.
Hope CVs show this aspect of adjustment too.
Like marriages, friendships also evolve and go through their ups and downs and good friendships can sail you through your worst crisis.
Would like to hear from all of you, your thoughts on the subject and also any personal experiences.
PS : I am present Naina's age and am blessed to have my core group of friends intact from when we were in grade 2. We have been through marriages, children, moving cities and countries. Have reached a stage where few of our kids have become connected and growing their own friendships.đ
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