Heartache... - Page 5

Originally posted by: abhi786

Wow wonderful views... My thoughts the blame will surely be on Ashok and partially on Meeta. Ashok is the most selfish man and he doesn't able to love anyone but himself . If Ashok loved meeta then why he waited 10 years to tell his parents and wife that he loves Meeta ?

The fact remains he told now, because he is closing business in London moving to India and want the house to get loan, that's why he is staying .. He has no option he needed money.. If not money he would give damn for his parents and babitha. He would have stayed in London with meeta another 10 + years and make everyone believe he is working hard and sacrificing himself for his family.. If he doesn't need the house, then he would have quietly sifted meeta to Mumbai continued there like this..

Also if Babitha was still in the house, he would have no problem staying in the same house with both of them GARWALI and BAHARWALI and will try to convince meeta he loves her only, finding excuses wait till loan,or babes mother of his child, doesn't have shelter.

What baffled him is that babes left with Mini, but staying in HS and Mini hates him while both support HS an outsider not him being husband and father. He is divorcing also for showing babes not for meeta, tomorrow he might do marry Meeta for the same reason he will think only as to punish babes, as now it hurt his EGO that babes support HS over him.

I partly blame Meeta also, as if she was strong and firmly told she will not stay in live in relationship after 1 or 2 years, asked him to divorce his wife and marry her only then she will live with him then the situation would have different. Knowing Meeta involved and continued even after his parents rejected her . Why she didn't stand up for herself even educated and earning, Why Meeta didn't demand Ashok to marry or cut the relationship ? The truth is she insecure with Ashok and his love for her also knew if she put those condition Ashok might end her relationship, might leave her forever. That only promoted her now to make demand as now she is going to living with his parents otherwise she might has accepted and continued along with Ashok wish...

I think Ashok / Meeta is an abusive relationship. He has gotten used to thinking of her as less than Babita (the perfect / imperfect dialogue made me wince for Meeta) but now we have seen several occasions where he has been verbally and physically abusive to her.

I was speaking about this show to my aunt (a psychiatrist) who came to visit me from India recently and she loves the show as much as I do. She had doubts whether Indian audiences would even pick up on the fact that his shouting at her / throwing a plate / physically handling her was escalating abuse. But here in the UK all of those things together would be enough evidence to raise a domestic violence charge.

Basically he treats Meeta like crap because she (and Indian society) lets him get away with it. He didn't treat her that way in the UK (I presume in the absence of any flashbacks) because British society doesn't let men get away with it. In some cases if it goes to the police they will even press charges in the victim's interest.


I do think Ashok's character is fairly typical of an NRI man abroad who is stuck between two different cultures. In many cases the parts of Indian culture a NRI holds on to is the part they experienced when they left. It's why many NRIs often have far more regressive ideas of what is means to be Indian than people living in India.

On the one hand he dresses in UK / western clothes, speaks English; but on the other he can't bear that his daughter now thinks for herself and that she never needed him because Babita was enough for her (as mum and dad).

He can't bear HS because he is everything Ashok probably thought he was better than: he stayed in India, has a fairly low paying job, but is actually more progressive because Indian society has more progressive in the past 17 years (while Ashok is stuck in the past). I bet we will see even people like Khatri redeemed on the show before we see Ashok redeemed because Indian society is malleable if young people keep speaking up (most of India's population is young) and so can change. While someone stuck in the past will always struggle.


Link below shows the different kinds of things the UK government recognises as abuse.

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/domestic-abuse-how-to-get-help