I read about this event on HoB FB page, seems to be quite a big event in scale in India?!
Edit: This is the post which resonates with me the mostđ
Source : HoB
"It all started when I ordered breakfast one day and someone said, at this rate you'll soon become twice your size.' I was 13 at the time. I've always had an unhealthy relationship with food, but that was the trigger. By 14, I had full fledged anorexia. Since I kept skipping meals, people would keep offering food to me. Eventually I started overeating. I spent most of my teenage years alternating between starvation and overeating. My teachers and friends helped monitor my intake, but I was suffering mentally.
During university, I had my first bout of depression...When it set in, I cut myself in the shower. I just wanted to see what it felt like, so I used a razor on my wrist lightly. It started out as a morbid fascination which developed into an addiction to pain. It was tough to explain to my family what was going on with me, I had no major triggers -- no reasons I could pinpoint.
When I returned to bombay, I started working with my dad -- the hard work, and my condition put a strain on my family and friends. It got too much and my anxiety worsened.
That was the worst phase of my life. Despite all the medication, I continued to blame and isolate myself. I became submissive- if someone accused me of something I'd apologise even when I had done nothing wrong. It felt like I wasn't living, but just existing. I was constantly battling negative thoughts that kept pushing me to harm myself. I was in denial of needing help. Once after I harmed myself, my mom said, you're building up your threshold towards the pain'. I realised then that I was harming myself just so that when I finally decide to take that step', it wouldn't hurt as much. That was the last straw. Nothing could help me if I didn't want to live.
Things improved when I changed my mindset, and decided that I needed to get help. The first thing my therapist told me was to quit my job. So I started working for myself... I love to draw and my thoughts are generally jumbled. So I drew them out on a piece of paper and started posting them online -- I even started a blog. It helped me calm down and also made other people smile... people began asking me to post more often and I finally felt happy again. Like I wasn't just existing.
So here I am. I'm learning how to manage my mental health and I'm not completely okay. There's still a long way to go, but I've taken the first step towards my destination and hoping that I can enjoy the journey there.
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Tune into a conversation on Mental Health during the #SocialForGood Liveathon with Priyanka Chopra on the 27th November, 12PM IST.
Edited by KhaanaBaDosh - 7 years ago
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