Victims of Abuse

Sad to hear that, inlined in bold below.

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

In a situation like this what should people do. Is it time to leave the past behind and look at positive things in the future - or should one face the past and confess to protect other potential victims.

Such dreadfull past is not forgetfull but will haunt ever after. Go for it, CONFRONT THE DEVIL, for her own sake, she might feel better, throw it out at him. Someone should tell him and make him realize, what an shamefull act he had done in past, what better then herself to be that someone.

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

How would you react if a family member confided that they are/were being abused - specially if they accuse a respected family member? Without any specific evidence other than one persons word against another how should families handle situations.

In this case or similar case, there is no need for evidence.No one full of character and values would confide for any meany reason. Would applaud the courage to come front exposing disgusting few in this world, no matter who. (reminds me of the hindi movie Monsoon Wedding, if you havn't then see it)Thats all I can say on this one

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

Recently a close friend confessed that she had been molested by a relative when she was a teen. It has been ages since the incidents and now she has moved on and is well settled in life.

First of all I am really sorry your friend had to go thru this. very very sad indeed.

If she has moved on by dealing with it the issue properly than I am happy for her.

She never told her family and wants to forget everything and keep moving on. A few friends feel she should confide with her parents because this is something people should know. She is hesitant because the molester is an elderly respected family member and she does not want to stir trouble.

She definitely should share this with her parents especially the abuser is within family-relatives. She does not want this repeated to any other young girl or a boy 🤢 How does this molester keeps relationship with family after doing something so bad?? I guess no shame 😔 😕

Most molesters are in family-relatives or parents friends 🤢.

In a situation like this what should people do. Is it time to leave the past behind and look at positive things in the future - or should one face the past and confess to protect other potential victims.

One should face the past, deal with it and than move forward. Remember past can always come back and haunt you. This trauma is not only physical but emotional hurting the core of the person. By not saying anything one is only promoting this behavior IMHO. Expose the person and protect future victims.

How would you react if a family member confided that they are/were being abused - specially if they accuse a respected family member? Without any specific evidence other than one persons word against another how should families handle situations.

No evidence is needed. One knows their child. Why question the credibility??? If the person coming forward of abuse or molestation one can tell how true or genuine they are. It would be a tough situation to handle. Child probably already is blaming herself which she should not be.

Apparently the so called "respected family member" is doing some disrespectful thing to a teenager for crying out loud. How can that person get away with it 😡

Besides immidiate family there are professional groups who can help the person with this type of trauma.

Originally posted by: TallyHo

Ppl around survivors of abuse should reinforce the fact that the they are not be blamed for what happened to them...sometimes this is the one thing that keeps bothering them as to what did they do wrong to have deserved it..

Bingo!!!! Most of the time the victim is somehow made to feel responsible. 😳

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

Recently a close friend confessed that she had been molested by a relative when she was a teen. It has been ages since the incidents and now she has moved on and is well settled in life.

She never told her family and wants to forget everything and keep moving on. A few friends feel she should confide with her parents because this is something people should know. She is hesitant because the molester is an elderly respected family member and she does not want to stir trouble. In a situation like this what should people do. Is it time to leave the past behind and look at positive things in the future - or should one face the past and confess to protect other potential victims. [/quote]

To save other potential victims yes it is the right thing to do. Doing the right thing, however, isn't always easy. Despite drudging up memories like this being unpleasant, one never knows how the rest of the family would feel. Some people don't even want to report if a stranger molests them. The fear of social backlash is high and this being a family member that molested her it's even worse. How will everyone else in the family treat her when she brings this up? and is she ready/willing to face the worst that can happen out of this?

Without proof, I'm afraid it's not easy to believe someone especially when they're accusing a fellow family member who is dearly cherished and there isn't much the police can do about it either. There is no best course of action without proof, IMO, and everyone would take the news differently. If all we have is one's word for it then those who are close to one would probably believe one while those who are close to the molester would probably take their word for it.