Chapter 7- Untangling The Mess
Gauri sat in the room, she was sketching randomly. In hope she would come up with some new design or texture or anything useful. But her thoughts were occupied with the piece of information she ahd received from Jaanvi the day before. Omkara's past!
The thing in his eyes she had taken for something mysterious and guessed it was pain was not wrong. She wasn't supposed to pity him, and she was not. She was confused. In one minute she fpound in herself compassion towards him and in the next she wanted to loath him.
When had she come to being like this? She never wanted to hate anyone. She always believed life was too short to hate. Then?
Hadn't she herself verbalized clearly that she hated him? The hate that felt like a burden on her heart. A burden that puller her down. She couldn't be herself. She din't feel she was herself. She was being anything but herself. Why? Was she afraid? Afraid that yet another storm would swipe her off her feet and overpower her? No. Gauri was not someone who feared the storm. She was the storm. Then what was it?
She sighed. The more she tried to sort and untangle the emotional mess she was in, the more confused she got. She sat up straight with determination, remembering what she had decided the previous day, for Jaanvi's sake.
"Kya hua? Anika who had witnessed Gauri's perplexed expressions for a good few minutes asked sitting beside her.
"Kuch nahi! Gauri smiled and kept the sketch book aside.
Anika simply nodded and looked at the sketch.
"Are you okay? Gauri asked looking at Anika who din't seem far from confusion either.
"Haan, theek hai, sab theek hain! She replied immediately.
"Humne aapke liye poocha, Di, sab ke baare mein nahi! Gauri tried meeting he eyes.
Anika looked up and sighed. For some reason, she felt she could be an open book with Gauri. She stared at Gauri. What was it that made her so comfortable around Gauri? She never was the one to tell everyone and anyone about her problems. But, Gauri somehow was an exception to that.
"At times I feel I don't understand Shivaay!she finally spoke up.
"You both fought over something?
"No argued. Anika said looking away.
"I don't like it a bit. Anika confessed honestly, tears making way to her eyes.
"Then don't so it Gauri shrugged.
Anika shot a quick glance at Gauri's lightning reply.
Gauri held her hand, "Jo humein dard dein, humein acha naa lage who nahi karna chaiye.
Anika-"Itna aasan hai kya? Kabhi kal ko behtar karne ke liye aaj dard toh sena padta hain naa?
Gauri smiled rather mysteriously, "Zindagi ne itna toh sikhaya hai ki, kal ka bharosa nahi, isliye jo hai aaj hai, iss aaj ko aane waale kal ke bharose nahi jeena chaiye. Ek Pal kaafi hota hai, Sab kuch sawaarne ke liye, Aur Ek pal hi kaafi hota hai sab luch bigaadne ke liye.
Anika looked up thoughtfully, Gauri made sense. She was silent for a while and then got up, " I need to talk to Shivaay! And out she rushed. Meeting Om at the door. Omkara was paasing by the room when he had heard Gauri's words. How could someone think so alike? That to that someone who hated you. Who was so different from you?
She smiled at him. He involuntarily and almost immediately smiled back. She left hurriedly.
He turned to look inside the room, she was staring at him. He sighed and diverted his gaze back to the direction he was originally heading for.
"Om..Omkara Ji! She called out hesitantly.
"Huh? he asked blinking.
"Can we talk? She sat up still straight.
Om blinked, awkwardly and with a brief nod entered her room.
"I...
Om looked at her, confused. What was she going to say now? She had made it clear she wouldn't even want to look at him, hadn't she? But somewhere down he felt nice. He felt a strand being pulled out from the heap of guilt that her silence had filled him with. But still he felt he deserved every bit of whatever punishment she wished to meet him out with and perhaps more after all he had done with her.
"Aap baith sakte hain. She said rather oddly. Seeing him stand rooted before him with a n almost blank face was making her even more uncomfortable.
He looked around, at the bed and then at the chair a little distance away. She moved her plastered feet slightly to give him more than enough space, to be seated on the bed.
Taking that as a cue he simply sat on the edge of the bed.
"Humne kaha thaa, hum aapse..
"Nafrat karti ho. He said plainly looking outside the window.
"I m sorry, who hum, gusse mein..
He at once turned to her. Was she for real? She was apologizing for that!?
"Kissi se nafrat karna bura nahi hota. It's natural.It's human.
"Par hum aapse nafrat nahi karna chathe hain. "
He met her eyes.
"Zindagi mein pyaar ke bina jeena mushkil hai,
Lekin nafrat ke saath jeena naamumkin!
"Aur hum jeena chaathe hain, ye jeete ji marna humein manzoor nahi hai! She completed softly, looking away unable to meet his eyes,
He stared at her simply. What was she made of? For he knew, if he was in her place he would rather wish to live with the hatred than live without it.
"Itna aasan hota hai kisi ko maaf karna? he asked softly, his voice heavy and eyes slowly moistening.
"Nah. Par koshish karne waalon ki haar nahi hoti hai. Her voice trailed. She knew she hadn't forgiven him completely, and so did he.
"Maaf kar paaogi mujhe?
She looked back at him. Silence followed.
He sighed and got up assuming it was time to leave her alone.
She could forgive him perhaps, but could he forgive himself for what he had done?
"Omkara Ji..
He turned back to look at her.
"Dosti udhaar mil sakti hai? Hum bahut bore ho jaate hain yahan.. her voice had changed. She radiated cuteness and innocence.
He turned back, is eyes were moist but a smile curved up, though tiny.
"Dushman ko dost banana chathi ho?
She looked perplexed. What was he trying to say? What was he trying to mean?
"Dosti udhaar nahi li jaati! He added.
She still looked on confused. He was a man hard to comprehend.
"Shaam ko milte hain? Dost bana paayi toh tumhe dosti mil jaayegi. He spoke after thinking a little bit.
She blinked. "Aur nahi toh?
He smiled, "Dushman toh main hoon hi.
He disappeared soon after.
Gauris sighed. "Aadmi hain yaan jalebi? Naa baat samajh mein aayi, naa jasbaat!
She shrugged taking back the sketchbook and placing it on her left knee. She felt much lighter. Much herself. Maybe it was rightly said, an emotion as hate destroys both the one who hates and the one who is hated.
Gauri hated no one, now. She had made peace with her life and herself, at least on the surface.
Jeena naamumkin nahi thaa,
Shaayad mushkil zaroor tha!
---------------------------------------------------
P.S
Finals around the corner, as a result of which, writing is zero.
Anyways made sometime to update this.
Hope you all liked it.
Criticism is welcome.😊
Looking forward to what you all have to say.😊
Edited by Khidki - 7 years ago
Cricket
