Raman was shocked hearing ishita and said -have u gone mad, r u even listening to urself, u want me to leave u for this, really ishita, u think so low about me. I am understanding ishita that u have some kind of discomfort in being physical and I am ready to work on it but please don't say like this.
Ishita -kuch nahi hoga raman, kuch bhi nahi hoga. I have tried, bahut koshish ki hai Maine, khud ko yeh sab achcha lagane ki but nahi hota, every u touch me that way, I just feel like dying. Aisa lagta hai jaise koi meri saansein cheen raha hai. Lagta hai mera dum ghut jayega. Main nahi jee paaungi raman, aur mere saath saath aapki bhi zindagi barbaad ho jayegi. Raman Aap bahut achche insaan hai and u deserve someone really great, and I am not that. Main nahi hoon aapke liye achchi. Kaise achchi ho sakti hoon jab main aapko aapke hisse ka pyaar nahi de sakti. I am not good enough for u. She said and cried.
Raman couldn't see her crying and tried to hug her to console her but she just hug herself .raman took her home and both sat in their room for long. Raman has a firm believe that they may work on her problem and was trying to make ishita understand the same but ishita wasn't ready to hear him as she had a firm belief that there is no solution to her problem apart from getting divorced as she thinks that because of her, raman's life will also get ruined.
They talked for long but couldn't came with a solution as ishita was firm in her decision.
Raman -ishita, tum samjhti kyun nahi, shaadi koi mazaak nahi hai. Har couple ek jaisa nahi hota, kuch differences hote hai but woh sort out bhi ho jaate hai.divorce is not the solution.
Ishita -achcha, then tell me what is the solution. I know I can't be changed, Main badal nahi paaungi khud ko, aur aap meri wajah se dukhi rahenge. And I can't see u sad raman. Main aapko takleef mein nahi dekh sakti. Iska do hi solution hai, yaa toh hum sab kuch bhool jaaye aur pehle ki tarah apni life continue kare for getting about my discomfort aur dono dukhi rahen yaa phir hum alag ho jaaye. Taaki kam se kam aap toh khush rahe. Aap bahut achche hai Raman and I want all the happiness in ur life aur main aapki khushi ka kaaran nahi ban paa rahi ,par main aapki takleef ki wajah bhi nahi banna chahti.
Raman -aur tumhara kya hoga, kabhi socha hai, kaise rahogi mere bina, kaise jeeogi mere bina. He said making her look at him.
Ishita looked away and said -main nahi jaanti ki main kya karungi aapke bina aur kaise rahungi aapke bina, bas itna jaanti hoon ki main aapke dukh ki wajah nahi banna chahti aur aapki khushi ka kaaran ban nahi paa rahi, so it's better that we get apart. She said and went inside.
Slowly time start passing, everyday they talked but never come to any solution. Ishita's health was deteriorating day by day as she was living under the burden of ruining Raman's life and being just a trouble for him. How so ever raman try to make her comfortable with himself, she was just not ready to believe that anything can ever going to change.
Raman was trying every way to convince her but his patience broke when she slit her wrist to end her life. Though the wound was not deep and she was saved but this act of ishita made raman believe that she is not at all ready to live with him and can even kill herself if he force her to be with him.
At last he took the most difficult decision of his life and filed for divorce. Ishita wasn't happy with this but had a relief that after her exit Raman's life will be less troublesome but her trouble started as they filed for divorce. Their parents came hearing about the divorce. At first all thought raman asked for divorce and tried to convince him but as they came to know that ishita want divorce all start blaming her, cursing her.
Their mothers started cursing ishita for taking such a huge step being a woman while their fathers even raise hand on her for even thinking about it. Only raman was the one who stood by her decision. Though he too don't want the divorce to happen but now he don't want to force her either .
Finally the day came and Ishra was given six months time to live to adjust and then they can get divorced. Their parents went cursing ishita leaving Ishra alone.
Author's note -if anyone still has querry about reason of ishra divorce then let me clear it again, ishita want divorce as she thinks she is not good enough for raman while Raman is giving her divorce in helplessness as he can see her so uncomfortable and loosing her zeal to live thinking she is the reason behind his sadness. There is no other hidden issue, the thing is ishita want raman's happiness and he wants hers.hope u all get it now.
Flashback end
Raman was lost in thinking when he heard her hiccups. He got up at once and walked to her. He sat next to her and said -ishita, r u up??
Ishita wiped her tears in a jiffy and said -no.
Raman smiled and said -then who is talking, only to get no answer from her.
Raman -get up ishita, I know u r up. He said and she got up. Her face was full of tears while eyes were red and puffy.
Raman -what happened, why u r crying now. Listen ishita, I am doing all this for u, phir tum kyun ro rahi ho. Yaar I am divorcing u for ur happiness, aur kya chahiye tumhe.
Ishita -but I am not happy raman. I am not happy. Kyun ho raha hai mere saath aisa, meri kya galti hai.she said crying.
Raman don't know what to say and how to console her, he was just thinking to hug her tight and sooth her pain but was afraid of her reaction when she herself come close to him and said keeping her head on his chest -sabki shaadi hoti hai, Sab khush rehte hai apne husband ke saath, Main kyun nahi khush ho paayi raman. Murugan ne mujhe itna achcha pati diya. Joh mujhse itna pyaar karte hai, meri khushi ke liye sab kuch karne ki ready hai phir bhi main khush nahi reh paayi raman, aapko khush nahi rakh paayi. Amma appa ko khush nahi kar paayi, mummy ji papa ji ko itni takleef di. Sabke dukh ki wajah ban gayi, isse toh achcha hota uss din main mar hi gayi hoti. Sabki takleef ka antt ho jaata, aapne kyun bachaya mujhe raman. She asked looking at him.
Raman -coz u r my responsibility, tumhe kuch nahi hone de sakta.
Ishita closed her eyes hearing this while tears flow freely from her eyes.
Ishita -aap kyun hai itne achche raman that I hate myself for hurting u everytime. She said to which he just wrapped his arms around her and said patting her forehead softly -aisa kuch nahi hai, u r not hurting me or anyone. U r just doing what u want to do, aur Isme kuch galat nahi hai. Now stop talking and sleep, u r tired enough. He said and closed her eyes.
Very soon she slept resting her head on his chest. Raman look at her and said smiling -i don't know why u want this divorce ishita, when I can see how much dependant u r on me. Not only financially but emotionally too. It's not good ishita, tumhara iss tarah mujhpar dependant hona is not good. I think I should try ways to make u independent. He thought and slept next to her.
Next morning, ishita served him breakfast when Raman gave her few paper cuttings.
Ishita -yeh kya hai??
Raman -wants hai. I want u to apply in these companies. Tumhari qualifications ke hisaab se khone hai.
Ishita went through the advertisements and said -iski kya zarurat hai, oh Aap mujhe alimony nahi dena chahte, issliye yeh sab kar rahen hai. Don't worry Raman, main aapse Ek paise nahi lungi. Aap mujhe divorce de rahen hai, yahin kam nahi kar rahe. Don't worry, ur money is safe.
Raman smiled hearing this and said -I am not doing this for me but for u, I want to make to independent. Jis tareeke se sab tumhare saath behave kar rahen hai, I can't trust anyone for u. Ab main toh hamesha rahunga nahi tumhara dhyaan rakhne ke liye, toh I want to make u self dependant.he said making her look at him.
Ishita -mat kijiye raman aisa, please aisa mat kijiye. Please itne achche mat hoiye ki main aapse nazarein milane laayak bhi naa rahun. Waise bhi main iss burden se mari jaa rahi hoon that I ruined ur life, aur ab agar aap itna sochenge mere baare mein toh main kaise rahungi. Why can't u just leave me like my parent did, just hate me raman, just hate me. I deserve ur hatred but ur love and care. Please don't be so good with me. She said looking at him with moist eyes making him look at her.
That's all for now, enjoy and do comment and hit like .will wait for it.
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