Stalking for Love

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZ1MPc5HG_I[/YOUTUBE]

We often give Bollywood shit, but its so widespread.

Women like bad guys is also a myth perpetuated by problematic tropes. Most women in the real world will say that they want a partner who respects them. It is usually naive teenagers and young women who think the bad boy stereotype is cool

no, women like good guys.

let women speak for themselves.

its like saying women get physically abused by husbands because they like the physical domination of manly mens. no we don't.

we love guys who respects women

who has manners

who is well read

who is adventurous

who is kind

who is understanding

who is compassionate

don't put the blame of victims of stalkers. its like saying women are to be blamed for getting raped.

Where did you hear that from? Little teenagers?

Women DO NOT like bad boys. At Most, if someone says they like bad boys, it's mostly for timepass. Not a life partner or companion. We seek respect and stability in life. Not some teenage drama.

Bollywood is definitely much worse. I think because Bollywood sometimes includes cringeworthy touching and borderline sexual harassment as "love".

But I am surprised at how much Hollywood does it too. In the recent Netflix show "Everything Sucks" Luke puts Kate in a spot by asking her out in a video broadcast to the whole school. Its shown as cute, but for a girl that is mortifying. Especially for Kate who is questioning her sexuality.

This is what the maker of the video said about Groundhog Day in YT

A few folks have objected to my inclusion of Groundhog Day in this Stalking For Love video essay. Unlike some of the other complaints, these feel like they're made in good faith. The film does have some nuance to it but I'd like to take a minute to talk about why it fits the trope. The objections I'm seeing go something like this: "Yes Phil stalks Rita but it doesn't work. She falls for him only after he becomes a better person. That's a fair reading and the one the movie wants us to take away. However I think the message is a bit more insidious than that. For those unfamiliar with Groundhog Day, part of the plot revolves around a man named Phil stalking a woman named Rita via a repeating time loop. Phil leverages this loop to surreptitiously gather personal details about Rita's life and then uses that info to try and woo her. There's a scene early in the movie where Phil asks Rita what her "ideal man" would be like and she tells him. Initially he ignores what she says she wants and instead tries to trick her into sleeping with him. This tactic doesn't work and leads to a series of harsh rejections. During his stalking, Phil realizes he's actually in love with Rita. So next he tries telling her the truth about the time loop. To prove it he reveals very personal details about her life which he learned through stalking. This "I'm a god scene is framed as sweet and romantic. Inspired by his newfound love for Rita, Phil decides to use the time loop to improve himself. And, as I say in my video, he does legitimately become a better person. Ok great. But let's take a closer look at the specifics of Phil's transformation. The better person Phil becomes is almost exactly the "ideal man Rita describes at the start of the movie. Right down to learning to play a musical instrument which is one of her requirements. He also learns to genuinely appreciate French poetry (her major in college). On the last day of the time loop we see Phil embodying Rita's "ideal man." He acts in selfless ways, he cares about others, he plays a musical instrument and so on. And she is of course attracted to him for these reasons. On that last day Phil carves a perfect Ice sculpture of Rita's face. She asks how he did it. He responds "I know your face so well I could have done it with my eyes closed. Again we see his surreptitiously acquired personal knowledge about her being framed as super romantic. I'd argue that Groundhog Day frames the surreptitious gathering of personal details as negative when Phil uses it to try to trick her into sleeping with him (PUA style) BUT the movie then frames it as really sweet when that info is used for gestures of "true love." In the end, Groundhog Day is a movie about a woman who says "no" dozens of times and a man who refuses to take that "no" for an answer, and then, by genuinely becoming her "perfect man," he finally wins her over. As I say in my video essay, I really like Groundhog Day. It's a clever and entertaining movie. It just doesn't get a pass on its use of stalking behavior.