Gehraiyan [2] - (Resuming) Author's Note pg. 58 - Page 39

Previously (Chapter 43):

His footsteps faded into the house's fabric and she picked up her pencil once again, trying not to process the vague feeling that she had just been snubbed.

* * *

Redire

"What exactly are you trying to do?"

He would say she came to him like a ghost but with her wild eyes and frustrated glare, she was more of a demon in his doorway.

He couldn't say how long he had been sleeping but the patches of the window not covered in dust still showed a darkened sky. Two... three hours, at most.

Not nearly long enough.

"I thought it was quite clear", he snarled.

She ignored his tone - his warning sign, really - and quite literally sprang into the room. A little dust poofed up from the floorboards.

"I've just spent the last hour alone downstairs."

One hour? He'd only been sleeping one - oh, he was going to kill her.

"And?"

"And??" She floundered for words, her mouth opening and shutting. "And... and why are you being mean to me?!"

"What?!"

He sat up fully to face her, eyes blazing. "You woke me up at God knows what time in the morning to accuse me of being mean to you? Woman, are you mad? Or two?"

Her jaw set and she looked pointedly away from him.

He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, trying to force his gritted teeth into a smile and not a feral animal baring its teeth at prey.

"Okay. Okay. I'm going to pretend that none of this happened. It's fine. It's fiiine."

Even as he said it, he felt the pleasantness of sleep dissipate. "Goodnight."

No sooner had his head settled on the pillow than she was crowing in his ear once again.

"No! Not goodnight! Tell me what happened."

He gaped at her. "You tell me."

She lifted her chin, proud and righteous. "You're being distant."

That was enough. Maan flipped to his side and gave her his back. "I'm not doing this. Goodnight, Geet."

"I don't understand. We were having such a pleasant day..."

Unable to help himself, Maan snorted. "Yeah, you were."

"And we were actually enjoying ourselves for a change."

He rolled his eyes and muttered, "Again, you were."

"So what happened?"

She sounded glum, genuinely so, but instead of sympathy, Maan found himself getting irritated at her cluelessness.

"Geet, get off the blanket."

He tugged and she absent-mindedly lifted herself up, still trying to put two and two together.

Finally, she gave up on trying to make four and impatiently burst, "Will you quit yo-yo-ing with your emotions and tell me already!"

"Wow!" He bit out. "That's really something coming from you."

Her eyes narrowed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know what it means."

"No," she stubbornly denied. "I don't."

"Oh, you want to go there? Okay. Okay. It means that the woman with the most vacillant mind in India is giving me advice on emotional stability."

She scoffed. "What nonsense."

"You don't believe me?" He threw his hands up and mimicked, "I want my husband. I don't want my husband. I want space. No, I want you now. I want to focus on work. I want your every waking moment focused on me, damn to bloody hell what you want!"

His heart was racing. It felt so good to finally get it off his chest. It took a a few seconds to get his breathing back to normal. And only when it did did he feel rather than hear the din of her silence.

He looked up to face her, still victorious, and felt as though someone had slapped him.

Those eyes...

He had seen them before, even just days before. They had been his constant companion for so long now. Eyes that were always a little shell shocked. A woman on the edge of perpetual silence.

He remembered the spark that had been in those eyes these last few hours, the playfulness he hadn't quite noticed had returned until it was gone.

With a unhappy sigh, he understood. She was gone. Instead, he had exhumed her.

And yet... he knew he wasn't sorry for what he'd said. It may have been terrible of him but, after all, how many times were they going to do the same dance of sadness and regret? How much longer would they tuck the ugliness away, beautifying a myth while the filth grew around them?

He felt dirty. Always. He felt constantly suffocated by the burden of every word unsaid, every mark missed and each and every band-aid holding together the scraps of what he remembered once felt like love.

It was well past time.

She was quiet still, almost visibly absorbing the wound he'd made. She drew the sari's pallu around her shoulder, wrapping herself in a cocoon of black and blood until every last inch of skin disappeared.

He almost felt sorry for her.

Still, he knew he couldn't survive the weight of another band-aid...

"Geet. Do you really want to keep pretending that it can go on like this?"

Her reply was barely a breath, so quiet and earnest that it almost undid him.

"Can you?"

His heart broke.

Oh, how far they'd strayed...

She waited and finally, he shook his head. "No. I can't."

He didn't meet her eyes - couldn't - so he watched her shoulders instead. Watched as they drooped and disappeared into the sari. Watched them still and remain so. And finally, watched as they rose into a majestic arch, stately and certain.

"I'm ever so sorry for disturbing you this late at night." Her voice was pleasant, foreign, a polite smile on her lips.

"I..."

She got off the bed and paused only for a second in the doorway, her gun locked and loaded.

"Goodnight, Mr Khurana."

And bang, she was gone.

Part 45 - Feeling sad for both. She wanted to spend some time with him but he was tired of her thinking about herself. She was hurt when he told her his opinion. They both went so distant. At least geet was trying. He broke her again. She came to mr Khurana from maan. Thnx for updating.

Originally posted by: Ubiquitos

Clears through the fog and sees whom? This fog story which is about depths...
What a surprise haan. I am back to the Darjeeling moods (and woods and rains and wetness and hauntingness and some 4-5 people in the guesthouse and sometimes in the town elsewhere).

I re read it again because I forgot how it was and then this update made me a little less sad and frustrated at them. Made me feel a little less hopeful that there ever can be filmy breakdowns and confessions and a normal patch up where these two will smile together. You know a thought came where I wished these two should call it over, totally over, for their sake. He fumbles a lot and can't voice out what he feels and what he wants from her. He clearly needs her, and when she isn't there or misses his point, can't tell her for the fear of upsetting her or I don't know why, but clearly he fears her and she makes me feel anxious, unsure. So many times. And then he chooses another time to vent out, almost in defeat. I wish he had a friend or a parent or someone else to talk to. Not about their relationship. I am sounding like their counsellor.
About Geet, she is Geet. The conflict. She craves attention from him, she loves him, but she loves her work as well and is clueless sometimes about how he feels about things. But she chose to ask. Okay. Hmmm like that?. But he chose not to give it words. And instead generalised the whole scene and wow words which hurt. Self obsessed people these two.

I really don't want them to be separated, because if that's what happens when there are these tiffs/misunderstandings, I don't want to imagine what happens to them if they completely cut each other off. It's too much love (question mark on that word) and more than that too much expectations from each other and this relationship. I feel like get boring you two please, that would be better.

I think ye jyada ho gaya. And it won't make much sense.

But yo so so so so glad to see you here.

Originally posted by: ChandlerBing

I wish there is a love button on a comment. Couldn't be put better

Originally posted by: Ubiquitos

With a smile and a light in the eyes, thank you. :-) :-).
These two are stuck but readers have grown two three years older. :-D.