Chapter # 49
From: annie_007@xyz.com
To: notmeplease@xyz.com
Sub: Hullo
Why hullo there! Long time no see. Do you even remember me? (That rhymes)
Have to admit, you've a rather nice email ID. Is there a reason you're not returning calls? Did you finally find a hot woman that you start neglecting your poor sister? It better be a hot woman.
Remember those days when my little brother shared every single thing with me? Where have the good days gone?
Annie.
From: notmeplease@xyz.com
To:Annie_007@xyz.com
Sub: Re: Hullo
Di,
Now you put it that way I look like a prick. Sorry for not returning your calls. I really owe you. I can't even give you the same old line of being busy at work, because if you can juggle family and work and be so successful, the least I could do is to call you back. I'm so sorry. But I rather like writing to you. That way I won't be scared of your screaming at me (kidding).
Um good days haven't gone anywhere. Your little brother isn't 10 anymore. That's the problem.
Why are you all so hell bent on knowing about my non existent love life, is it a woman trait or am I blessed with special women in my life?
From: Annie_007@xyz.com
To: notmeplease@xyz.com
Sub: Screaming
Huh.
HUH!
I don't scream. I rather have a pleasant voice, or that's what your Jiju tells me.
Wait a minute.
You've not denied the presence of a hot woman in your life, which is a miracle in itself. But what strikes me the most is the plural form. Who else is interested in your non existent love life? Are there two women? Are you cheating and leading on two women?
Wow. Who would have thought.
Needless to say, tell me all the details. I need to pick a favorite amongst the two.
From: notmeplease@xyz.com
To:Annie_007@xyz.com
Sub: Ha-Ha
Ha (a long dry pause) and Ha!
Your creativity is soaring Annie. Did they consider you for the creative head role yet? You deserve it with your imaginative skills.
You think I'm capable of leading on two women. Not one, no sir, but T.W.O.
Thanks, I'm flattered.
But two people being dumb enough is a little preposterous. So, no. I don't have hot women bombarding me. (Surprise, surprise)
And well, what happened to not generalising the age old concept of ladka ladki dost nahi ban sakte shit?
The living and breathing headache that is interested in my love life as much as you are is unfortunately a friend.
From: Annie_007@xyz.com
To: notmeplease@xyz.com
Sub: Bring me some salts
I swooned.
SWOONED!
So my little brother admitted of having a GIRL-FRIEND. Not so soon the hyphen will vanish into thin air and it will be a girlfriend.
I am totally ignoring you taking potshots at yourself about your capability and all because it makes me so mad.
It is not the world's fault that you don't let people come closer to you. The world is not that a bad place to be in. And I know what you feel about it, that I wouldn't understand. Of course, I am an airy head with good looks who had never ever faced rejection, so I wouldn't know. Is that what it is Maan?
If we are talking about having flaws, I do too. Let us not get there. I don't want to blow up all my hard earned money on therapy again. Ha (a dry long pause) and Ha!
Wow, I never knew a letter could be so depressing. Let me make it bipolar instead.
Sooo...you owe me information young man, for making me so mad at you.
About the blessed hot woman, that you seemed to have hots for. (Ahem: Tina?)
Most importantly, the so called "Friend of yours. Isn't this the first girl you have called friend? (Double Ahem: Anjali!!!)
And no, I don't believe in that outdated dialogue, although I do believe in "Pyaar dosti hain and hence I am going to wait for your letter which better be all about your Anjali.
Meanwhile, I am checking out for availability of resorts for a spring wedding, just in case. Wink, wink.
From: notmeplease@xyz.com
To:Annie_007@xyz.com
Sub: Information
I have not thought of you as someone who wouldn't understand Annie. Although the airy head part is true. Also add funny feet penguin and two freakishly large bunny teeth to the list and we are done.
It is a miracle how you bagged the Homecoming queen title, but considering you have pulled a really hard trick of posing as not being related to this poor geek at all, in order to protect your popularity, I don't see why not.
You still mad at me, eh?
About the girl you seemed to be more interested in, than I am, her name is not Anjali. Drashti, it is. Do not ask me its meaning, because a huge war was waged after I politely started that conversation and ever since we are fighting with each other more than the ruling party and opposition party leaders.
I don't understand women. Especially the crazy ones like her and you.
I mean, what am I supposed to think when she breaks it off and vows never to talk and then she is the first one to politely say hello, as if nothing happened.
But I am not as nice as she is. What to do, I am a devil incarnate. Can you see the two horns?
PS: Nithya, or Tina as you would like to call her is a colleague I find cute. End of story. Can we honestly move on please? I feel rather like a weird psychopath talking about a woman who doesn't even knows of my existence to Drashti and now, to you. What else would I be reduced to?
From: notmeplease@xyz.com
To:Annie_007@xyz.com
Sub: Ouch.
And this is a big ouch. Okay honestly, I was a child then and a rather vain one. Plus, if it makes you feel any better, I have regretted a lot since then and maybe that is why I still did not kill you, despite being called a penguin and a bunny and what not.
And what do you expect of a teenage kid, who is so blindly into the whole new prom thing that has been introduced into the school just then? C'mon, it was such a rage, as we have only heard or watched about this whole prom thingie in movies and literature, and first time we get to take fellow school mates to dance. How cool was that?
And hey, it is not that I was ashamed of you, I was ashamed of myself back then to be associated with school's best nerd. What if I would be compared to my little brother and be ridiculed upon for not being good enough in studies as he is?
Well, as I said, I was a child back then.
Wait a second. So she and you fought. And she said sorry, and you... what did you do?
Let me guess. You made fun of her apology, didn't you?
You big old softie!
You are fond of her. Don't deny it.
You do this all the time. You hate it when the other person is forgiving, don't you? You think you don't deserve the kindness.
Even now, you are so bloody angry at yourself that I bought about the whole flaw and therapy thing, and you think it is all because of you and you can't say sorry but will try to annoy me instead, wanting to channel all my anger on trivial things. How so typical of you. Isn't this your own twisted way of saying you are sorry?
Maan, let me say it out loud. Yes, I lost my unborn child and I couldn't bear it. But I am moving on. I will always remember it but I won't be stuck at that place in life and blame the world. So you shouldn't do it on my behalf. Do you understand? Don't be angry at everything that goes wrong in this world Maan. There are still some good things, that happen everyday. I have you, see?
Oh god, what am I going to do with you, you stupid stupid weirdo?
I love you my darling little brother and you bloody talk to your girl (Drashti I mean) right away. Not everyone is as intelligent as I am, see?
Talk to her. Now.
Or I will book the next available flight and come to you to kick you on the ass.
Annie.
707