The Day My Life Went to Hell
Written by nlisa.
Disclaimer: The plot is mine. Although some of the wordings from the characters may resemble very closely the episode from August 28 2017, so I would like to give the writers of Naamkaran the credit for that. The purpose of this fiction is not to infringe on anyone's rights but rather was written merely for pleasure.
Note: This story was written as yesterday's episode's focus. It doesn't really take into consideration the most recent episode.
Neil's POV.
The day started off weird. Weird enough that I should have been on guard. But, I, Neil Khanna being the idiot that I was couldn't see it. "You're dumb, I thought to myself. " Bewakouf. " How did you not know? I reprimanded myself as I stared at a blank wall.
It had been too good to be true. That's why it all went down the crap hole.
First, Avni had decided to ask me out on a date. A Date! " Come on, Neil. That should have been your first clue. Avni has been so skittish around me the last couple of days. Ever since I started flirting with her, she couldn't really look me in the eyes.Then, suddenly she woke up this morning and asked me out on a date!
But of course, me with a whole lot of hormones coursing my body when it comes to her, acted irrationally like a teenager. The whole incident was a blur really,now that I thought about it. I remember her vaguely in her nightdress, looking up at me from across the counter as I made breakfast. Her eyes were so wide and so beautiful that I found myself drowning in them. Then, she said the word " Date and my heart went on over drive. I had not heard a word after that.
When she handed me the weird pink coloured sherwani ( Salmon, she had called it. I shuddered at the thought), all I did was blush to that same ugly colour and nodded my head, not really sure what I had agreed to.
When I finally stepped inside the bathroom and changed into that monstrosity, I thought about it. "Why was I dressed like an Uncle? " Where the hell is this date happening? I mean I know she's different but, surely she must know that people don't dress up like this on dates.
" Avni, I called out as I walked out of the bathroom. I was clutching the monstrous pink vest in my hands, " You said we were going on a date? Really? In these clothes?
" Don't you trust me, Neil? she asked as she moved closer and as she moved closer the rational thoughts in my head started to evaporate.
Then, she went and touched me. Her hands were buttoning up the pink monstrosity, and like a lovestruck puppy all I could do was stare at her.
"... movie... she was still talking.
I watched as she turned away from me and faced the mirror again. Her eyes met mine, and then as if she was shy, she lowered her eyes, grabbed something and looked at me again.
I blinked. She fiddled with the tiny box. It held her sindoor, I realized. That's why she was being shy.
I watched as she took a small amount between her fingers and got ready to apply it. But, I had a better thought.
I grabbed her arm. " Avni... I pointed at the sindoor, at my chest and then at her, "may I? I questioned gently. I was almost afraid that she would say no. I still remember the night where Bebe had asked me to apply sindoor to her forehead and we both panicked.
There was no panic this time.
She didn't say a word- she didn't have to, and I grabbed some sindoor in between my fingers and drew the small red line on her forehead. My hands were shaking. Something had changed between Avni and I, I had been feeling it since I got out of the hospital but the feeling just got stronger.
The bridge of nose was peppered with red sindoor, and I gently wiped it off her nose while never taking my eyes off of hers.
As she stared at me, I wished she would blush or she would smile or something... but, I told myself that this was progress enough. She had not freaked out and refused my request.
Neil- 1, Avni's fears-0.
" Avni, I said as I relished the warmth of her smaller hand in mine, " where are we going?
" Few more steps, she replied, " keep your eyes closed.
" Haan. They are closed.
" Avnniii, I whined again a few minutes later, " can I please open my eyes now?
" Yes. Open your eyes.
What a shock it was to see so many people infront me. I was standing at the doorstep of Khanna house. Mom, Dad, Bebe, Neela ma and Amol were all staring back at me.
What caught my eye thought was the small statue that stood behind them. The red cloth that was covering the statue made me take a step back as I realized what was underneath and I realized what day it was today.
Bebe and Dad's eyes were searching mine but I couldn't focus. I couldn't breathe. I didn't even feel the warmth of Avni's hand disappearing from mine as she moved to hug Bebe.
Dad walked towards. " Neil, he stated.
" I have to go.
"Neil.
"I have to go. Something important came up.
He understood my lie, " What do I tell Avni if she asks?
I gulped. Avni. I didn't want her to know about this and about her just yet.
My relationship with Avni was fragile and I didn't want to jostle it too much. " You'll think of something, I heard myself say before my feet started retracting.
She didn't see me leave and ran out of the house. I couldn't breathe. I needed air.
No. I didn't want to deal with this right now.
I couldn't.
Juhi. Her name popped inside my head and all of a sudden it was a barrage of emotions cascading though me.
I couldn't stop the hot tears streaming down my face. I felt so helpless again. I hadn't been able to protect her. I had failed Juhi. Ganpati had failed her.
He had failed her. Juhi. Juhi, who had been his greatest devotee. He had failed to protect her and now she was gone.
I pressed my palms against my eyeballs. I wanted to stop this crying. I turned around and tried to breathe.
And then suddenly, it felt like the world had stopped. Because there she was again. Juhi.
Juhi.
She was here. She was alive.
What the hell is happening. How could that be?
Her eyes widened as she saw me. " Neil, I could see her mouth move, but no sounds were heard.
" Sir, came a voice behind me. It was DD.
Maybe Juhi was a mirage. Maybe he couldn't see her.
DD approached me, " Neil Sir. Are you okay? He looked at me, and then followed my eyes. " Juhi, he said in disbelief. It didn't go unnoticed to me that he didn't add "bhabhi behind her name, like he used to.
She was coming closer and I couldn't deal with this.
I turned around and walked back into the house. I had to find Avni. I needed her.
"Bebe, Avni kahan hai? I almost growled as I approached Bebe.
" Tumhare kamre mein, she replied.
I didn't say another word and walked down the corridors that were all too familiar.
I didn't knock. I opened the door and found Avni standing by the closet.
"Avni, I said with relief. I grabbed her shoulders,turned her around and hugged her. Her body was so small and so warm. I felt my tears burning my eyelids.
"Neil, she asked in a small voice, " kya hua?
I couldn't answer. My body was shaking as I finally started crying again.
" Neil, she asked. Her voice was higher now. " Why are you crying? What happened?
"Neil. You're scaring me.
I felt something flutter to the floor as she moved her hands up my back and held me tight. "Neil, please. Say something.
I opened my eyes and saw what had fluttered to the floor. It was a picture of Juhi and I.
I pulled away from her. Her face was so concerned about me. I felt terrible. I should have been open about my past. I just thought I had more time. Once Avni and my relationship became more stable.
"Avni, I need to tell you something.
I sat her down on my old bed. She was quiet as I told her everything.
" Avni, I said at the end, " kuch bolo, please.
" Do you still love her, Neil? I was taken aback. I didn't think that would have been the first question she would have had. Love was not really Avni's focus or so, it had seemed.
When I didn't answer, she kept talking, " Because Neil, if you do, then I won't force you to stay in this relationship. You deserve happiness. All the happiness in the world. I know the way we got married... was not exactly... uhm, you know what I mean, right?
" Avni, I sighed as there was a knock on the door.
"Tillu, came Mom's voice, " Can I comes in, please.
Damn mom and her terrible timing. " Ji, mummyji, replied Avni and I shook my head at her. Yeh ladkhi bhi na.
The door opened and mom stepped inside, but she was not alone. Juhi peeked in behind mom, and I felt like the world as I knew it was slipping from my fingers.
-
"Tillu. There is someones here who wants to meet with you.
I glanced at Avni. Her face was pale.
"Neil, said Juhi and her voice sent me in a downward spiral. I felt my legs give out and I fell back down on the bed.
"Neil, cried Avni, Tum theek ho? as she placed her hand on my shoulder.
I was torn.
I nodded.
" I should give you some room. Let you... catch up, mumbled Avni as her hand slipped off of my shoulder.
" Rights you are, Avni said mom.
"Mom, please. Nahi, Avni. Rukho, I found myself saying.
"Nahi, Neil. I don't want to get in the middle of you and Juhi, she said, avoiding my eyes, "just... I'll... just see you later. Okay? And she fled the room.
I couldn't find it in me to chase her. My limbs felt like lead. I couldn't move.
" Did I interrupt something?, asked Juhi meekly. " Oh, don't be silly, said Mom, " You are Tillu's old friends. You talks. I go. Hm.
-
The door closed and I found myself alone with Juhi. Of all the million things I had wanted to ask or hear over the years where I had thought she was dead, there was nothing that came to mind.
The silence felt forced. The air was too suffocating.
I couldn't think of anything to say to her. She crossed the room and hugged me. Uncomfortable is not what I should have felt- after all this was the girl I had been in love with. Her body felt wrong against mine. There was none of Avni's warmth, I didn't feel as secure as I did a few minutes earlier when I hugged Avni, nor did I want to hold on to her and never let go.
I cleared my throat and stepped back. Juhi looked up at me quizzically. I didn't answer, instead I said, " I thought you were dead.
While Juhi launched into the tale of the hows and whys, I couldn't help but wonder what Avni was up to.
Avni's POV:
I walked with my back as straight as a rod. I willed myself to be strong as I walked away from Neil's old room. Our old room.
My eyes stung with unshed tears. I tried to blink them away before I entered the hall, where I knew everyone was gathered for the Puja.
" Avni? called Dad.
" Bahu? chimed Bebe when she saw me. I gave her the best smile I could, " Aarti? I shook my head firmly. " Nahi, Bebe. I can't. I gave up on God a long time ago. " Lekin beta, you said Neil had restored your faith?
I shook my head again at her. I couldn't find the words to explain how I felt. The person because of whom I had started to believe in God again had just made me lose faith in Him again. Had there been a God, he wouldn't have... "He wouldn't have what, Avni? I asked myself, " Brought Juhi back in Neil's life? Made you believe in relationships? Believe in the one relationship you never believed in?
I started to walk towards the door again. I couldn't stay here.
" Avni, called Neela Ma behind me and I could hear her footsteps echoing behind me. She was the only person I trusted to follow me till the end of the world. Neil used to be included in that list, but I wasn't so sure anymore. He had Juhi now.
The picture in Neil's cupboard flashed in my mind and I started running. " Avni, cried Neela Ma as she chased me.
She found me in Neil's apartment.
" Avni, I know you're in there, she yelled, banging on the door. " Open the door.
" Ma, please. Aaj nahi.
" Avni, you open this door at once. Don't make me get Neil to do it for me.
I stopped pacing. I knew she wasn't joking. Neil was her favourite and that guy would come running if she called. I knew it.
I crossed the small distanced and opened the door. She sighed a sigh of relief when she saw me before she enveloped me in a bear hug; only the way my mom knows how.
" What happened? she asked. " Neil itna pareshan kyun hai? Kuch hua hai?
I shook my head. I couldn't tell her. Neil had to be the one who made the decision to share with Neela Ma. He had confided in me and I couldn't break my husband's trust. And I told her as much.
" Okay, she said with a small sad smile, " at least I know that you consider him your husband. I looked up at her confused. Why does she keep saying that? Why does he keep telling me this? Did they not realize that I had accepted Neil as my husband? Why does everything have to be said? Why can't they understand through my actions?
" Avni, jo bhi hai, tum sirf Neil par apna barosa toutne mat dena. I nodded.
" Okay bachaa, I'm going to go home now. If you need anything, you know I'm always here for you, right?, I gave her a small smile, " I love you, Avni.
"Love you, Ma.
As the door closed behind her, I looked around the small apartment. This place was so Neil. His personality shone through every decor.
I glanced at the clock and sat down on the couch waiting. "Will he come home tonight? I wondered.
Three hours later, I heard the rustling behind the door. Someone fiddling with their key. Neil.
I lied down on the couch, stretching my body and closed my eyes, pretending to sleep.
I didn't know that I wanted to see Neil's expression. I didn't think I would be able to deal with someone else being taken away from me.
" Avni, he said once he was inside. He stopped for a second, then added, " Get up. I know you're up.
I pretended not to have heard him. "Avni, he repeated, " don't make me come there. His voice was getting closer, I thought.
I opened one eye and saw him standing by the bed. " Avni, he growled and I shut my eye. " Stop pretending. He was much closer now. It was't his voice that alerted me, but rather it was his cologne and the way my heart sped up.
" Avni, please.
I sighed and opened my eyes. It was the "please, he sounded so broken. I couldn't ignore him.
He held out his hands at me, and I took them. Pulling me off of the couch, he directed me to the bed and plopped me down. " I, he said before sitting down next to me. Then he said nothing.
" How was your talk with Juhi? I asked softly.
" I don't know. I don't know.
"Matlab?
"I'm tired, he said instead and leaned forward to place his head on my lap. He closed his red rimmed eyes and sighed.
Almost on auto pilot, I placed my hand on his head. Reassurance, we both needed it. Leaning back against the headboard, I let my eyes close as well. Neil was here right now and that's all I needed to know.
Anupamaa
Seher Hone Ko Hai
