Questions and Questions!!!!!!

It's been long that I have written any post on this forum but past few days episodes and people writing about their perspectives has actually prompted me to write this one.

Here are some who bash Dev and the others who do the same with Sona.

Now my take-
The relationship end was a fault of 2 people-Dev and Sona and both of them accept that consciously.
While Dev's flaws had been highlighted by many, I fail to understand why Sona is blamed for being a woman here.

Sona told Soha about Dev and was scared when Soha decided to meet her father. She didn't want Dev to know about her out of her insecurities. Now, insecurities are a part of every person's life but it is the way of handling them that makes one person strong and the other a weak. Ish's insecurities from Sona destroyed everything and Sona's insecurities are yet to be judged by her actions in the future.

Sona was blamed for not believing Dev during his drunk state and rather believed Vicki. But Dev himself believed that he might have bought Sona's home and thrown her family out in that state. How many of women are here who would believe a drunkard male in their family just after they had given you reasons of not to.

Now, the recent revealation, Sona was at fault but which mother wouldn't be. Dev can still do anything to assure his mom that he will never be separated from her and the little child can not promise her mom something similar. Soha is small to understand any manipulations.
As for saying Bijoy manipulating Sona, well, I personally never found Sona influenced by Bijoy's words and neither did she let him influence Soha against the Dixits. I liked how Soha is kept away from all the elderly talks in Bose house.

With Dev having a stalking tendency, anyone can be scared of what's coming next. Just because stalking is highlighted righteously in shows doesn't make it any right. It is the attack on someone's personal space.
Now just imagine if Dev had not slapped Bijoy anyhow. Ish had been apprehensive of Bijoy and so was he. But no daughter in her sane mind will ever accept her father being slapped or insulted by husband or prospective husband's.

Dev isn't a bad person at all but supporting bad indirectly makes him subjected to bashing.

Sona isn't all good but her being on the receiving end of the Dixits and still manage to compose herself anyhow makes her a better person than Dev.

Dev knows he had not been a good husband but never did he ponder on the reasons of not being so. He let others take decisions for him and he is just facing the consequences of this mistake of his.

Relationships can be 50-50, 70-30, 90-10. while I would give 50-50 on love and pain to both, I will have to give 60-40 to Sona and Dev for being respectful to each other's families.

Judging a person is easy and I don't know how many here had ever tried themselves in Sona's shoes at Dixit house.

And stalking and man-handling activities of Dev being considered as his extreme love for Sona and appreciating him for them is the reason why an Indian woman will always be considered subjugated to a man. Because we have a tendency to like a man of such kind and then talk about feminism in real life.

Dev had been happy for all of the Sona acheivements, fine but did he ever acknowledge her struggle atleast for once. No. So, as a woman my emotions connect to Sona here.
And for Dev, as happy I would be for having a husband like him who would love me like him, as sad I would be for having a man as my husband who cannot take stand for me on the times needed. However, Dev will now stand with Sona, so, lets see the change now.


Long post. Bashers please stay away. however critical comments are invited.

Beautiful post dear. Please write more often. 👏

Thanks for the post. It's not about how one person is always right and another one is always wrong, rather it's about expecting constant tolerance and unconditional understanding from one person where the other one gets the priviledge to behave whichever classless way because he is a 8-yr old kid. It's about unfair sky-high expectations from one side of the coin when the other one cannot even adjust with a swing or wall decor in his room.

Arshi, you must write more often. It is so refreshing to see balanced views, objective, reasonable and sensible. I love reading such posts...

Originally posted by: pkbdas61

Arshi, you must write more often. It is so refreshing to see balanced views, objective, reasonable and sensible. I love reading such posts...

You are right about all that you said... I would only alter the ratio's a little.. in terms of valuing the other family, given what we have seen, and to the extent we have seen, it is 80:20. Sona tried her level best, according to me, even doing things that she was not adept at doing, sacrificing her time with her love, all in the hope of inrptegrating into his family. Dev on the other hand did little. This is where I am unable to understand the CV's. Dev could have been shown learning some Bengali words, meeting the Boses more often, doing things he is not accustomed to doing... to show him integrating into her family. They chose not to show this side of the story.

Anyway, wonderful writing from you. Keep it coming.. we can do with some freshness in this forum..

Agreed with the ratio