A Ram Lakshman SS-Lakshman through Ram 's Eyes ~Updated Chapter5 Pg11~ - Page 8

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Seraphina231 thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
So, as your Chutki Di promised, here is your review. 
Mind.Blowing.
I loved the siblings bonds between all of them, which you brought out really well in this chapter, the one between Ram-Lakshman, the one between Shrutkirti and Ram, even that. Shatrughan's dilemma and he and Lakshman  Shatrughan reassuring Ram and others though he was worried himself. But the highlights for me:
The description of what the exile did to each of them
The ending! 

The whole chapter was amazing. The ending was so cute, it showed the Ram and Lakshman bond so so well. πŸ˜³
Kiddo, I can't tell you how proud I am of you and your achievements, you will surely go on to be an amazing writer! πŸ˜ƒ
I am loving this, so update soon? 
Loads of love,
Chutku/Chutki/Didi πŸ˜ƒ
Edited by Shrinika13 - 7 years ago
goli030291 thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
Very Nice
The characterization and build up to the changed nature of 4 sisters was pretty apt , each one developing from a tender teenager to responsible daughter in laws


And it was coupled with humour too , as in the ladoo feeding sceneπŸ˜†
Viswasruti thumbnail
Posted: 7 years ago
 Regarding 1st chapter---Well described bonding between Ram &Laxman Sumi! The loveliest scene in this chapter is undoubtedly the midnight meeting of the Royal family members to plan the celebration !! 
The strong quality of your writing style is , in your avidity/ passion , you made your readers run with you to see what will happen in the next chapter !!!😊
Edited by Viswasruti - 7 years ago
Viswasruti thumbnail
Posted: 7 years ago

One of the  life's most simple pleasures is spending time with those we love... with family and loved ones !

Time spent with family is time well spent. Family is the one constant element in everyone's  life whether it is to Divine Ram or to small kids of Laxman !That's what you explicitly described in this part !

The unconditional love and selfless dedication of Laxman towards his Ram is the highlight in your OS ,as an added attraction the cute kids' enthu to know their parents' first meeting !😊

'She was looking more beautiful in violet-pink saree than usual. She has dressed up the same way , Lakshman requested her on the auspicious day of Karwa Chauth while gifting her this beautiful saree. Her hairs were clipped from side and in middle parting of her hair was sindoor with beautiful maangtika and a veil that run over her beautiful hair . A radiant glow on her face with twinkling  dark-kohled eyes. She was definitely looking like a true beauty from heaven.'----

Lovely meeting of Laxman and Urmila ! Love is there , sharing and caring , then a revelation in the form of an appreciation of his  valour , then dedication , sacrifice , mutual respect , wonderfully you made it visible all these feelings   between Urmila and Laxman in this chapter ! A well-written one ! 

RamKiSeeta thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
Sumi, I can't believe I've been so behind in reading your SS. The last three chapters which I missed are AMAZING! 


First of all, the Ram-Urmila bond which has hardly ever been explored before was written so well. It's exactly how I'd imagine them to be. Their banter is so cute. β€οΈ

Lakshman not celebrating his birthday, and Shatrughan not celebrating it due to that. πŸ˜­πŸ˜­

People hardly ever show Lakshman and Shatrughan bonding, but they were twins and surely loved each other immensely. Thank you so much for giving justice to their bond. πŸ€—

Lakshman's surprise party brought a smile to my face! πŸ₯³πŸ˜† It was so sweetly written and the family members involved are so adorable. I can totally imagine this happening.

Amazing dear! Will you be updating soon?
RadhaKrishna_19 thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
Chapter : 5.. πŸ˜³

A long one..πŸ˜†πŸ˜›

Happy Reading ! πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜³

In Ayodhya's Palace ~ 

The whole praja sat in rows to hear Ram , mothers sat together on a sofa on the left side while Mandavi , Urmila and Shruthkirti standing behind them .  Bharat , Lakshman and Shatrughan sat on the opposite side of them with Ram standing in middle of the view. Bharat and Shatrughan wrapped their hands around Lakshman's shoulders to give him warmth and love. Ram looked at them and smiled gently. Kids sat with mighty Hanuman to hear the story..


"Lakshman ...how should I describe him ... because my each word will be an understatement for his sacrifice , love , devotion...that I will speak for him now ...",said Ram looking at him with a gentle smile.


Lakshman wasn't fully approved with Ram's words and shook his head with "Big No" gesture because he didn't found himself so deserving to be worthy of such words from his beloved brother , he smiled little at his elder brother.


"I still remember that I was filled with undefined happiness when I heard Lakshman's voice after he was born , I found one new partner  . When Sumitra Maa brought Lakshman to me first time , he stopped crying and spread his little arms as to reached me , Kaushalya maa took Lakshman and put him besides me in the cradle . We used to enjoy each other company a lot , the first time when Maa Sumitra took Lakshman back to her room , we both began crying loudly and again when our mothers brought us together , we again started enjoying , from that moment we have always stayed together." 


Ram and Lakshman both looked down smiling remembering the sweet moments while everyone exchanged happy looks.


************************************************


"Days passed and we even didn't realised, we grew kids , those moments when we used to sleep together , the moments when we used to feed each other , play with each other and many more were so beautiful ."


"When I , Lakshman , Bharat and Shatrughan were sent to Gurukul for education , mothers told me that from now I am the father and mother both of my brothers. We lived there and I took care of everyone , their needs but not that my brothers were not capable , they were , my brothers always took care of themselves well , they were capable from every point , they loved getting pampered by me . In nights, my brothers used to gather around me and asked me to sing lullaby for them as their mothers weren't with them , Lakshman always used to jumped in first to hear lullaby , it was a beautiful moment when my all three brothers used to sleep on my lap." Ram said and took a look at his brothers who were smiling happily and exchanged looks.


"But among us , Lakshman and Shatrughan were the naughtiest , they were obedient to Guru Vashishta but when the teachers were not around , these two used to do certain mischief like scaring Bharat in nights , eating sweets silently hiding from everyone , drama and much more", saying this Ram had a hearty laugh.


"See them , they were die hard foodies in childhood too", said Urmila chuckling to Mandavi and Shruthkirti while mothers were amused .


The trio Bharat , Lakshman and Shatrughan laughed lightly remembering those moments and the twins raised their eyebrows twice towards Bharat as he was the prey to all their mischiefs while Bharat hit them lightly on their foreheads and trying to hide his smile.


**************************************************


"Some years Later,  our student journey came to an end . We all received a emotional farewell from Guru Vashishta's Ashram . Gurumaa became emotional as we were about to leave .After taking blessings from all  the people who were with us on this sweet and memorable journey , we all four returned to Ayodhya ."


"We were welcomed by our people , Pitashree Dashrath and our mothers heartily , there were celebrations all around. We all were living happily with each other spending our most of the time in archery , swordfighting , with mothers , with Pitashree and we used to stay together in nights."


Everyone were mesmerised by the story telling of Ram , they were feeling blessed to hear his view of Lakshman.


"Soon in 2-3 years , Guru Vishwamitra arrived and he asked Pitashree to sent me along with him for killing of all the demons and  making the place free of fear for people." 


"Lakshman was upset hearing this news from Maa Kaushalya , he directly came in main hall to meet Pitashree and Guru Vishwamitra , he bent down on his knees , folded his hands in respect to both of them and asked for permission to join me ."


"At first , Pitashree wasn't approved to send his dear son Lakshman too with me  but when  Lakshman quest saying that -


 "We have always stayed together from childhood and we can't live without each other , please let me come to your and Ram bhaiya's service".


"They all agreed happily seeing his pure love for me . I was touched by this gesture of Lakshman , I smiled in tears while Lakshman smiled brightly , his happiness was indescribable at that moment."


**************************************************


We both took the blessings of our mothers and Pitashree and hugged Bharat , Shatrughan and finally left the palace.


"I and Lakshman under the guidance of Guru Vishwamitra moved together in dense forests , freed many sages from fear of demons , mainly Marich and Subahu , freed Ahilya from curse, Lakshman helped  me a lot , he made my work much easier , a perfect companion he is ."


"Then we met Taraka , Lakshman encountered with her first stating that anyone has to fight with him first before fighting with me , Taraka almost overpowered Lakshman using her magical powers but I saved him before she could harm my brother.


"Alarmed by this , Guru Vishwamitra asked me to kill her irrespective of  gender , if a person did crime , he or she is equally deserving for punishment and lakshman too supported his statement  . I agreed his orders and killed demoness Taraka for good..."

************************************************


"After taking bath in river Ganga , I and Lakshman reached Mithila as Raja Janaka had sent a invitation to Guru Vishwamitra on occasion of their daughter Sita's Syamvar. We reached there and were recieved well by King Janaka , we stayed there as guests." 


"Many times , Guruji asked me and Lakshman to bring flowers from the beautiful garden for his prayers . One day , when we were plucking the flowers in garden, my eyes met a beautiful lady who was staring at me from a distance , there was a radiant glow on her face , her bow curved lips , her dark cajoled eyes added to her beauty , she was princess Sita who also camed to pluck flowers for her Gauri pooja and saw me ."


"Lakshman looked towards me staring at Sita , he folded his hands in respect to Sita , blushed heavily and move away from the spot to some other plants to pluck flowers."


"Somehow I felt the deep connection with her , my heart danced with joy seeing her , I was unknown of the fact that she will become my "Jeevan Sangini ".


"In 2-3 days , Grand syamvar took place , large number of Kings from many states and kingdoms had came to participate in the syamvar.


Maharaj Janak put a condition that - 


"Whoseover will be successful in stringing  the bow will get my beautiful daughter Sita's hand for marriage".


Mostly all the kings were unsuccessful in lifting the bow seeing this , frustrated Maharaj Janak said -  'There is no one here , who can lift this bow , this Lord Shiv's same Bow was lifted by Sita playfully when she was a very small kid and no one can lift this bow here.'



"I noticed Lakshman , his expression were filled with anger , he directly stood and anger reflected in his eyes,  he was angry because Maharaj Janak said that no one wasn't capable in lifting the bow because he knew well from his heart that I could lift this bow and show to all that his brother is every way capable for Sita".


"He stated angrily that how Rajrishi Janak could say that no one would be able to lift this bow here even when his bhaiya was present in the hall".


"Everyone for a moment got scared from his fury , I asked  Lakshman to calm down , he looked towards me disapproved but immediately calm down as I looked at him with 'calm down' look again."


"He said that his Ram bhaiya can lift this bow very easily and no one can be a better husband than his bhaiya for Princess Sita".


"Sita adored Lakshman's love for me and blushed seeing me as she had already accepted me from her heart while Urmila wasn't able to get over seeing Lakshman's anger , she was scared and she was like that how can a person get so angry but she too admired Lakshman's love for me".


Ram looks and smiled at Urmila who blushed down while Lakshman sighed smiling seeing Urmila .


"I lifted the bow and while stringing the bow , the bow broke into two parts leaving everyone shocked except Lakshman and Sita because they knew that I could do this , though Sita was surprised  at  my strength and Lakshman looked at me smiling at it's best , he was like that his ram bhaiya won the syamvar."


All smiled listening the story of syamvar ...


"I won Sita in Syamvar and she happily put garland of beautiful roses and jasmine on my neck..After some time ,  Lord Parshuram came there on the spot , he was very angry , his eyes were red of anger ... his entry shook the earth for a moment ... He angrily asked who's the person who broke Lord Shiva's bow...everyone looked at each other with their heads down ...No one had the courage to face him...Then there was a fierce confrontation between Lakshman and Lord Parshuram and it moved to such extent that Parshuram was about to kill Lakshman but I interfered and calmed him .

"I was happy from inside that I have got a brother who's always there to support me , stand by me , never leave me alone , I thanked god for sending him me in my life..."

Now, Lakshman had brimming tears ... hearing this ...

***********************************************************


"When Lakshman and Urmila got to know that they were going to get married, Urmila looked around with discomfort but in her thoughts, she was on a cloud nine , her heart was dancing with immense joy and Lakshman was shocked hearing the news , he took a moment to cope up with what he heard , he liked Urmila but "marriage" was never on his mind ... The very same day , he came to me in my room at night  and said that he don't want to marry Urmila not that he don't like her but because he wanted to serve me for his whole life and he doesn't wanted that Urmila suffer just because of his duties towards me , when I was about to explain him ... I saw Urmila standing at the door with a few tears that flown from her glowing face ..." 


"Lakshman was shocked seeing her , Urmila asked me that can she come inside...I replied her that she doesn't need to  seek my permission as she's like my little sister..Lakshman was numb , he tried to speak but Urmila stopped him saying that now she will speak and he will listen ... We both were having no clue that what she was upto..."


"She holded Lakshman's hand tightly and took him to ' Shiv~Parvati ' temple that was outside my room,  I accompanied them ... Urmila took the diya and  put her other hand above the flames of the burning diya , Lakshman tried to stop her but she stopped him , she with brimming tears , vowed that 'Infront of God , she vows that she would never come between me and Lakshman, she would never become a hurdle in his duties towards me nor she will never let anyone become a hurdle in his duties towards me ...'Urmila put the diya down back on the feet of the God  and bent down on the feets of the Lord ...I and Lakshman were surprised at her reaction , we never expected such vow from Urmila...She stood and wiped her tears and asked Lakshman that 'Will u not accept me even now ?" ...she broke down unable to say further , she loved Lakshman that's why she understood his love towards me but she didn't wanted rejection from him...she was ready to do anything for Lakshman , she had given her heart to Lakshman ..."


"Lakshman wiped her tears and  accepted her whole-heartedly ... I could see and imagine their happiness...Lakshman and Urmila's happiness can't be described at the moment ... Lakshman said to me that he's feeling blessed that he's gonna marry to such a understanding and selfless lady."


"But , actually , I felt bad that moment and my opposition gone in vain as these two touched me deeply with their words because I didn't wanted them to sacrifice so big for me and I was happy too seeing that Lakshman was going to get such a noble lady like Urmila as his wife ..."


"We all four brothers Lakshman , Bharat and Shatrughan got married with Urmila , Mandavi and Shruthkirti respectively in the next few days after certain rituals.."

*************************************************************


"Some years later , I was going to get coronated as the King of Ayodhya , everyone was happy , but , for the defeat of Ravan , I was destined to get 14 years of exile and Manthara  made the pathway  for my respective task ..."

Kaikeyi and trio Brothers - Bharat , Shatrughan , Lakshman got irked hearing Manthara's name..

"When Lakshman got the respective news of my exile , his anger gone out of control...Every servant got scared seeing him , he took on his warrior clothes to go and have a war with Bharat but I stopped him when I got these piece of news from Urmila when all her efforts to stop Lakshman gone vain..."

"After Sita , Lakshman decided to come with me in exile to serve me , I opposed him as I didn't wanted Urmila to suffer separation from Lakshman for long 14 years ...Urmila came in front and said that she supports Lakshman's decision and she also had vowed to God  that she will never become a hurdle between Lakshman's duties towards me, she touched Lakshman's feet to take blessings that she stay strong and can support everyone in he family.

 We all become emotional , Lakshman began crying seeing Urmila's devotion towards him , he bent down infront of Urmila and said that 'Even if world forgets your sacrifice but your Lakshman will never forgot your sacrifice , you have made a special place in my heart , I just wish I can return your love , devotion in form of anything..."

"Urmila couldn't able to control herself then , tears formed in her eyes...she said that she don't want any return , but , she wants Lakshman to be successful in all his duties towards me , she stated that there would be no brother like him in the world , he will be known as the ideal brother in the world..."

"Lakshman became emotional and hug her before leaving , 
and yes , I fully agreed with the statement...there is no brother like my Lakshman.."

Lakshman and Urmila took glances of each other smiling with tears remembering the moments.

"You all my people decided to follow me on my exile but that was not possible ...We silently left you all in night when you all were sleeping because we three didn't wanted you all to suffer the same... We moved to Chitrakoot with the help of Kevat...Lakshman built hut for me and Sita but himself stayed outside hut stating that he would guard the hut..."

"We were deeply touched by his devotion and selflessness" 

"Bharat and Shatrughan were on the way to meet us , Lakshman was very angry hearing name of Bharat , he took on his bow and arrow to rage a war with Bharat , I and Sita got very worried for Bharat...But Fortunately , every misunderstandings was sorted between Lakshman and Bharat when they met although Bharat was highly shocked by the reaction of Lakshman but he never mind that ...Then we got the most shocking news of Pitashree's death , my all three brothers broke down in my arms but for the moment , I stayed strong for them , We couldn't stop ourselves from crying when we saw our mothers in widow's dress , Maa Kaikeyi was filled with guilt and wasn't able to face me, I gave her solace...Sisters Mandavi , Urmila and Shruthkirti hugged Sita and she gave them solace..Then after performing funeral rites of Pitashree , Everyone were about to leave but Bharat was determined to take me back to Ayodhya , but bounded by duties , I refused his proposal to return back...Bharat took my charan padukas with him to put it on Ayodhya's throne as he can't sit on throne , he put the padukas on his head and stated that if I would be late after fourteen years , I would be never able to see his face again...We all become emotional and I gave assurance to Bharat , everyone left with tears.."

Bharat tried to hid his tears but Mandavi , Lakshman and Shatrughan sees it and twins rub his back to have him support.

************************************************************


"The next day ,  I saw Lakshman ...I noticed that his eyes were puffy and dark circles made their place below his eyes ... He didn't sleep the whole night ...I was in a questioning state with him ... Why ? He just replied that he was guarding the hut whole night...I again questioned him that what was the need of that ... His health can be badly affected by  not sleeping...Sita asked him to sleep but he said that he can't sleep ... He had to take care of my and Sita's needs... according to him , this was his dharma towards us ,  I saw him struggling with sleep ... He was hurting himself ...I and Sita prayed to Nidra Devi to help him , Nidra devi appeared before Lakshman and transfered his sleep to Urmila on Lakshman's suggestion... He became free from the clutches of sleep for long 14 years but became sad for Urmila , he thought that he was never able to gave Urmila , what she deserved , love , I and Sita consoled him..."

Tears slipped from Urmila's face hearing such guilt feeling of Lakshman from Ram for her.

***********************************************************


"I , Lakshman , Sita wandered in forest to forest , met various sages like Agastya , etc ...we got new weapons from them for the destruction of evil...I and Lakshman freed many people from the fear of demons by killing them..When we were residing at Panchavati , One day , demoness Surpanakha , Sister of Ravan came to our residence in the disguise of a princess to meet me...She put forward the proposal of marriage with me...I politely refused that I'm married..She then turned to Lakshman who gave her a daring look... Lakshman played a prank that I am a servant of Ram bhaiya and if she marries him, she would also have to serve them along with him...Shurpanakha became furious hearing this ...she attained her original look and was about to attack Sita because in her view ,that due to Sita , she had been rejected , I signalled Lakshman , he took out his dagger and chop her nose off...she deserved this punishment, lakshman did fully right with her...He saved his mother like Sita and I'm sure if any other lady would have been there in place of Sita , he would have done the same , I and Sita both were happy with him.."

"However , this made Shurpanakha urged Ravan to take revenge from me , he ordered marich to become golden deer and attract Sita  , there plan worked well , Sita got attracted to it , she asked me to fetch the deer , I asked Lakshman to take care of Sita and don't leave her alone and I moved out to fetch the deer"

Ram and Lakshman both closed their eyes , tears formed in there eyes  remembering the moments.

"The deer took me very far off , then I understood, soemthing wrong was happening , I attacked Marich who was in a form of a deer and he came in his orginal form, he cried for help several in my voice and dies" 


"I got troubled , it was a bad trap and I , Lakshman and Sita were trapped in it , without wasting a moment , I rushed to my hut but it was late , I saw Lakshman coming to me , I saw him , he was worried,  disheartened for breaking my order ,he asked me whether I was fine or not , I could see some great pain in his eyes ... but the situations were like that I couldn't ask him anything , ignored him and we both just rushed to the hut back and found nothing but everything scattered around , pots broken , gates broken , water fallen on the ground ... I was heartbroken, Lakshman was extremely shocked seeing the perimeter line dismissed that he drawn , tears ran down from his cheeks too, he tried to assure me though himself knowing that Sita wasn't there moved in and out calling his Bhabhi , but no voice came , we both were numb , Lakshman gave me solace ... keeping his pain inside his heart...We had no idea that where did Sita gone , we wander around in forests , ask the nature but didn't got any answer but we were left devastated , we moved forward and heard someone calling my name repeatedly , we ran and found dying Jatayu , his wings were cut , blood was flowing from his body...We met him first in Panchvati...He was like a father to us ... We all loved him and respected him like we did to Pitashree Dashrath , we got shocked and he told us that Ravan kidnapped Sita...tears welled up in mine and Lakshman's eyes...We both asked forgiveness from him for we can't save him and thanks him for he make the way for Ravan's death near , he died on my lap ... we did his funeral rites , fury raised from within us , we were burning from inside ... we weren't at peace ..."

"Lakshman screamed at the top of his voice from the top of the mountain that Ravan dared to put his evil eyes on Sita , now he will be getting the punishment that he would have never seen in his worst dreams , he screamed that he will get death from his Ram bhaiya..."

In valmiki ashram ~ 

Sita was in saffron-coloured dress , her open hairs decorated with rose flowers , she was looking divinely beautiful , a sweet smile decorating her face while watching the funny antics of small kids Luv and Kush.

"Putri Sita , Ayodhya is celebrating Lakshman's birthday will full joy", said Rishi Valmiki.

"I know Rishivar , Today is my dear son like devar Lakshman and Shatrughan's birthday"said Sita with a bright smile on her face.

"Do you know , Lakshman isn't celebrating his birthday from the time you left Ayodhya", Valmiki continued.

" What ? ", Sita asks in shock.

"Yes Putri , Lakshman isn't celebrating his birthday from long time since you left , it was Lord Ram's surprise birthday plan for Lakshman that he is celebrating his birthday today", replied Valmiki.

Sita turned , tears rolled from her glowing face.

" Why , Lakshman , Why ? " , Sita sighed sadly.

"I will have to remind you that u have forgetten " , said Sita wiping her tears.

Sita knew , what she has to do now.



I have updated my fifth chapter after ages πŸ˜† , I apologise for delay  πŸ˜³ , written a very long one , hope u all like it...Next Update based on reviews... πŸ˜† πŸ˜‰

Thanks for reading , do review ...😳

Loads of love ,
Sumi ...😳 πŸ˜ƒ


Edited by LakshmanMila..1 - 7 years ago
SenAnu thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
Finally, after ages and desperation! πŸ˜†πŸ˜†
SUMI SUMI SUMI SUMI πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—
This chapter was completely worth the wait !! 

WOW, just wow!
Each and every aspect and each emotion and each incident was so beautifully depicted that it brought tears to my eyes πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

And all the parts where Ram recalls their childhood, wow! I could see everything happening in front of my eyes πŸ˜³πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ
You write so beautifully and maturely Twinnie! You have become so much better and the best now πŸ˜ƒ 


Your true love for Ram Lakshman was shown so beautifully and it really was just amazing ! 

Now I cant wait to know what Sita will do for her Son πŸ˜ƒ 

Keep Writing like this Sumi, Lord Ram and Lakshmana are always there with you πŸ˜³πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ

 (Im there with you too πŸ˜†πŸ˜†)

Fabulous ! 
All the best for your future dear πŸ˜³πŸ€—
Edited by SenAnu - 7 years ago
RadhaKrishna_19 thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago

Thanks so much Partner...πŸ€—πŸ˜†πŸ˜³
SenAnu thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago

Originally posted by: LakshmanMila..1


Thanks so much Partner...πŸ€—πŸ˜†πŸ˜³

Review dekho partner πŸ˜³
RadhaKrishna_19 thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago

Originally posted by: SenAnu

Review dekho partner πŸ˜³

You are so quick Twinu..πŸ˜²πŸ˜†
Wait for a minute.  Lemme reply πŸ˜†πŸ˜‰