Soha's truth : Reality Vs. Idealism.. - Page 4

Originally posted by: tia.o

You made some very good points.

It also reflects the double standard society have for men and women. Given that there are certain physical and biological limitation in both genders in terms of child birth, allow me to explore the opposite end of the spectrum..

1. A man and a woman mutually decides to have a physical relationship. They are not married. The woman gets pregnant. The man refuses to take responsibility. The whole world comes down on the woman with name-calling, stink eye and if she chooses to give birth to the baby, also on the baby. Even if everyone knows who the man is, he still goes on, gets married and enjoys a spotless reputation and may be has more children.

2. A woman is unable to carry a baby to term due to weak womb even though all her eggs are in perfect working order or she just fears child birth which is not at all unnatural. She wants a child but not if she has to go to the childbirth. Can her husband carry the child on her behalf? No. He can't. But he can go have a surrogate mother whether the wife is fine with it or not. Because HIS family needs to go forward even if he has siblings who can provide children and the woman is an only child.

If the physical limitation on the husband's side and he didn't want to raise a child from another man, would the woman get a choice despite a perfectly functioning working womb and wish for a baby? Will she gets to claim that HER family needs an heir that he can't provide?

3. A child is born and the first question that is asked is what's his father's name? Totally ignoring the existence of the woman who just laboured for hours to give birth to the child while the man outside sat comfortably waiting for the good news.

We talk about both mother and father having equal rights. That actually sounds funny to me. Since no baby ever carries their mother's surname. Even in school, they keep asking father's name. He may have zero contribution beyond donating the sperm, may have ditched the mother. Yet, his name is important for identity.

Even the worst of the mother, at the very least has carried a baby for nine months and gave birth. The worst of the father, just ran after impregnating the mother. I ask you, since in terms of procreation and social identity, there are inequality in childbirth and child's identity, in which sense are we talking about equality?

The mother carries the baby for nine months, yet the identity belong to the dad and his family? Why? Ishwari raised Dev and apparently was Goddess of sacrifice. Why is Dev's surname Dixit and not Tripathy? The father literally did nothing because he died. Then where is his contribution?

At least it was not his fault to die. But in Sonakshi's case, it was Dev who threw her out after destroying/mocking/insulting her love, trust, devotion, sacrifices, understanding and most importantly, her identity as a woman. Yet he deserves to have his name attached to Soha. For what reason?

Why does he deserve fair treatment when he was being unfair to Sonakshi the entire duration of his marriage?

Society wants equal rights of both men and women? Fine. I want it too. Let's first level the field completely. Let us have a society where a child gets to have the name of the mother, let's make all children that are born of a woman to carry the mother's name since she did 90% of the hard work giving birth to the child. Let's make the children born of a woman be the heir of their mother's family. Then we will talk about equal rights. Until then, standing in the low ground, when someone already is, every possible way, in an advantageous high ground, discussion of equality sounds like a joke.

Originally posted by: gaushiv13

So what I can tell you

You are absolutely great

In my case we don't have any family surname our surname is what we want to give

And if there is any form or anything in which I have to write parent name then I always write my mother name firstly I also used to write father name as my mother used to ask and I also used to thought father's name is priority but when I grown I understand we can write any name

Even in my school days there was a form in which they have asked parent name and given one column and I wrote my mother name my teacher questioned me this is for father name then I answered that in that we've to write parent name and mother is also a parent time even that my mother live with me and my father is not here so why I have to write father name and my teacher got quite

The problem is women not want to stand up as my mother would want to give my father respect but when I choose to write her name my father respect it and never feel bad

As simple is that first women has to understand their importance apart from any relation they have to love the relation that first their relationship is with themselves being a woman

Originally posted by: gemini54

Guddi since we are talking about Soha Reality and Idealism

Let me tell you a story..a real one that happened to a woman in a shelter. This woman was a college educated young woman , grew up in a community that pledges not having S** prior to marriage and got married when she was in second year of college. Good family Father a church going person and the guy she married was also from seemingly a good family ( wealthy in fact).

She got married all looked rosy when the abuse started , first it was verbal..commenting on how she looked then it became physical but of course they always made up because he always ended up bringing her flowers, chocolates she likes etc. His parents knew of this abuse but was mum why because his dad was an army guy and did not think this was uncommon. The mom went thru the same thing and thought it was uncommon too.

Then she became pregnant and the violence escalated she came once to the shelter all black and blue and pregnant when we asked her she said she fell down the stairs ..The husband came back with flowers and she went back to him then she had a child and one day the neighbors complained of noise and when the police arrived they found her huddled near the bed holding on to her child who had bruises. I know this is an extreme case but she was brought back to the shelter and was recovering but went back again to her husband dont ask me why. Then one fine day she shows up again at the shelter and the police had an amber alert for the child the husband had disappeared with the child and nobody knows what happened.

I know this is too extreme but what I am saying is when we are faced with extreme situations we take extreme measures. The way Dev broke up with her..I bet any woman who went thru it for real how much ever we justify will not go back to him.. This is fiction and we call it Love but in real life it Sona goes back without Dev actually solving his underlying issues which to this date this show has not shown..an amber alert is possible

Sorry to be harsh but this is the truth and I have seen it too many times. So even though we can take the moral high ground and say the father needs the child yadda, yadda, bottom line is we make decisions based on the prior actions of the person not the seemingly changed actions of the individual.

Peace