When Love is Not Enough!!!

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Dilsha

@Dilsha

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 8 years ago

#41

Originally posted by: tia.o

<font size="3" color="#3333cc">Thank you, Pooja... Yes, I remember advice. I had said, If he goes waist deep, I will go waist deep too. Because I wanted to stand where he stands, by his side - not behind him, not ahead of him.😃</font>

I think ur right. Often we r given advices on how we sgud sacrifice everything for the sake of marriage. I mean if it's all abt giving everything u have then what's the use of it. I mean r we happy after the sacrifice. Why aren't men taught the same thing. Shouldn't they be asked to adjust to their partners likes and dislikes as well. We r asked to sacrifice our likes for them. Isn't that like asking u to change urself for one person. The thing I have noticed is that when u give up everything for a person or do everything to please them in the end ur miserable. Cos they think u can get away with anything. They r used to u giving them ur everything. It's not necessarily ppl shud appreciate what ur doing for them. Sometimes it's good to show ur likes and dislikes. Let them love u for who u r. Not the picture perfect person that the society wants u to be. In the movie gone girl they tried showing how we show a different side of ourselves when ur in love. When they got married and started showing their true colours they were repulsed by each other.

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Suvika.

@Suvika.

Stunner

+ 7

Posted: 8 years ago

#42

I think this one line is what I would call - THE LINE!!

Thanks for sharing this article Tia.

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Push-pull

@Push-pull

Sparkler

Posted: 8 years ago

#43

Originally posted by: tia.o
Thank you. That's why I thought this article is a good dose of reality. This came from a man, so it automatically becomes more valuable for some people since they can't term him to be Feminist. And it was a well put together information with logical points. So I thought may be this will help some people to start thinking.

@bold - THIS!! We Girls take our own loving and soft side too much exaggerated thinking that as a woman we can bring them lost souls of such men up to the right path in our so-called love.. Sure at times the same goes to boys with weak hearts too.. But when things don't work out, for boys it's easy to term all women to be opportunist or selfish, thus playing the victim card.. And boom majority of the men (There are real men out there who don't fall in this bucket) go empathizing with those guys because they share the manly bond and play the blame game easily.. And keeping the women as the target for all their problems comes very easy to them.. But we women, can't say clearly what it is, we don't like to be the ones be targeted by such men.. So we want to be in the men's good books because we want them to see us different from what they have generailzed as "all women are like that".. 😆 And we tend to be split among ourselves to join that poor souls of man group to accuse the bad women who caused the heartache for them.. 🤪

And as long as we have that split amidst us, such serials will never fail to garner it's own audience.. I'm just watching it for the fun around it, knowing such mindset.. That's all to it.. Because in my real world I don't see many such women and I was thinking that world is changing for good.. And was wondering why would such serials gain popularity among the modern women.. Anyway was thinking that only the MILs would watch such soaps 😆. And I am proved so wrong.. It's surprising to see the world out there where the mindset is not changing much.. And decades to come such serials will still be making it's business.. Where the role of MIL will be carried forward the same way because as a DIL they have gone through rough times and it's only fair to take that culture forward.. 😆 Because as a woman it's our duty to bring out the goodness in the man. If they show the bad side of theirs then it's only us to be blamed for bringing that bad side out of them.. 🤪

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Tia.0

@Tia.0

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 8 years ago

#44

Thank you, Dilsha... Yes, I think that when we marry and starts to share a room, a life and of course ourselves, some sacrifices need to be made.

But, if the sacrifices are always from one side, two things happen - 1. It creates an expectation that the sacrifice will happen always from one side and never from the other. So next time, if the person always sacrificing refuses to sacrifice, they are blamed for not being "understanding" like always. No one thinks that this person has sacrificed enough, now it's the other person's turn. 2. It also creates an imbalance in relationship by making one person's needs more important than the other person's needs. Which in turn creates an unequal, uneven relationship. That is not healthy nor that is a good way to be content with one's life in the long run.

Originally posted by: Dilsha

I think ur right. Often we r given advices on how we sgud sacrifice everything for the sake of marriage. I mean if it's all abt giving everything u have then what's the use of it. I mean r we happy after the sacrifice. Why aren't men taught the same thing. Shouldn't they be asked to adjust to their partners likes and dislikes as well. We r asked to sacrifice our likes for them. Isn't that like asking u to change urself for one person. The thing I have noticed is that when u give up everything for a person or do everything to please them in the end ur miserable. Cos they think u can get away with anything. They r used to u giving them ur everything. It's not necessarily ppl shud appreciate what ur doing for them. Sometimes it's good to show ur likes and dislikes. Let them love u for who u r. Not the picture perfect person that the society wants u to be. In the movie gone girl they tried showing how we show a different side of ourselves when ur in love. When they got married and started showing their true colours they were repulsed by each other.

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Tia.0

@Tia.0

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 8 years ago

#45

Thank you, Suvika. I felt it was a very practical and realistic article on love. Since Valentine's day is around the corner and cheesy, idealistic, love-is-all-we-need kind of thoughts will be exploding everywhere, this is a good time to share this. 😃