titli_314 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#1
He pulled the bottle of whisky and the glass. It had been 8 pegs already. Let it be, who cared! He did not even mix water with the liquor this time and gulped it down directly from the bottle. Its bitter taste, strong sensation spread a boiling peace inside. Bottles after bottles, alcohol was being finished regularly but sleep seemed to be miles away from his eyelids. He had never felt such vacancy in his life before, no matter what were the circumstances- not even when he had seen the heavenly beauty of his wife, who was standing in front of him in bridal attire on the first night of their marriage, who he had pushed back and refused to accept as his life partner... Even after so many fights, rough words, taunts that he had been throwing at her face regularly since that day, he still had that little peace in his mind that she was his, she belonged to him.. No matter what happened, her love for him could never lessen even a bit and his love and trust on her could never fade away.. His cold behaviour could never make her believe that he did not love her.. She was fully aware of the truth as she was the only one who could actually hear those unspoken words of his heart which were sealed by a tough exterior.. Now that little peace in his mind was ruined.. And again it was the same woman who was responsible for every possible misfortune in his life- Seema, his ex.


Dutta stood up and headed towards his bedroom. In the heavily drunken state, his legs were trembling uncontrollably, refusing to support the weight of his body anymore, just like the guilt in his mind which was refusing to accept that even after his continuous cold behaviour her trust would remain intact and she would love him like before. Unable to climb even one stair up he finally sat down on the floor with the bottle in his hand. One more peg and he was sure that he would fall asleep finally.

One, two, three- he felt as if he would die if he kept on consuming alcohol like a crazy fellow.. No he could not die. Before learning whether she still loved him or not, he could not die in peace.. He would not die. He threw away the glass in his hand, in utter disgust, which hit the wall and crashed into a hundred pieces.. How he urged to shoot Seema and see her body crashing on the ground like this glass of whisky.. That woman was again responsible for scattering his life..

Dutta recalled the afternoon incident when he had seen Naku with Seema in the mandir.. Seema was showing her some pics of Dutta and had successfully managed to convince her that he was still in love with her and that was the reason why he had been staying back in her house at night for the past few weeks.. Without wasting a second Dutta had rushed up the mandir stairs and dragged away Naku from there but not before threatening that lady never to try to interfere in his life again.. He brought Naku near his car.. Even in the chilly weather of December, beads of perspiration had formed on his forehead.. His heart trembled at the sight of her tears..

"Naku.. It is nothing like that.. You are a sensible woman and i dont think I need to give you any explanation.. Chaskar had been arranging our meetings at his place and i was not aware of the fact that seema too stays there.. It was only a few days back that i saw her there after a long period of 6 years.. I was about to tell you..."

"But you did not..", Naku did not let him finish.. Dutta lowered his head down.. He stood there speechless and saw her stepping back, turning away, walking towards baji and they both drove away.. Even his best friend did not care to look at him for once.


Dutta came out of his thoughts and found his vision blurring.. he felt his eyes with his finger tips and to his surprise he realised that silent tears have been flowing without even letting him know.. Are they flowing for her who he thought he hated..? Months of resolution of nothing to do with Nakusha ever and never to care for her who had hidden the biggest truth of her life from him were finally giving in.. This time he felt it necessary to listen to his heart.. else he might lose his whole world.. He urged to see her just once and tell her what she meant to him.. If he did not take a step forward first then the biggest possession of his life might slip out of his hands..

Dutta slowly got up and walked towards her room.. He stumbled thrice but did not stop before reaching her door which was left slightly opened.. It was a strict order from him that no one in this house would sleep before locking the doors properly ...
Dutta smiled to himself.. she knew he would come.. And he had been trying to keep this woman away from himself all these while.. How stupid of him!


He pushed the door and entered inside.. to see the slim figure of his wife standing at the widow..

"Mujhse naraz hai isiliye meri taraf dekhe gi bhi nahi?",
Dutta found it difficult to drag his drunken body to the other side of the room where she was standing, so taking the support of the wall he approached the nearest couch and let his body fall on it..

Naku, at once, ran towards him and sat on the couch beside him.. She lifted his head and slipped her own lap below it.. Dutta rested his head on her lap and closed his eyes in peace, Naku slowly and gently started massaging his forehead... and he wondered to himself, "And I have been thinking that she loves me no more!!"

"Aap ko itni tez bukhar hai aur is halath mein itna zada pee rakhkha hai... Mujhse dawayi nahin maang sakte the kya?"

"Kya tu mujhse abhi bhi pyar karti hai naku?".. Naku did not respond.. She kept running her fingers through his hairs.. Dutta mumbled, "Arey bata nah.. mein yehi sunne ke liye toh aya hai tere paas.. In sab baaton mein tu chup reheti hai toh mere dil ki bechaini aur bad jaati hai.. Tu bas bata de ke tu kisi pe viswas nahin karti.. Sirf meri baaton pe vishwas karti hai aur sirf mujhse pyar karti hai..bohot zada" and he dozed off in a deep sleep in her lap...

Naku kept looking at her husband sadly and thinking to herself, "when you need just me beside you to pacify your frustration and sadness and go into a peaceful sleep then why do you drink yourself to death everyday? Its not that liquor but me who you are addicted to but you are too stubborn to accept and confess.. In the intoxicated state you can see nothing around except me but when you will wake up you will hate me even more.. "

_________________________________




Dont know what crap I typed..😆 Writing a Tasha story seemed to be tougher.. Its not very easy to express their state of minds with less dialogues and more actions..
This is my first story on Dutta and Nakusha.. Hope to make the next a better one.. if I ever write on them again😛

But I have no intention of continuing with this story.. It's like an episode..Giving you full freedom to imagine the next part..😆

Looking forward to your comments dear friends😳
Edited by Barbie_KK9629 - 8 years ago

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simpleAnna thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#2
Baarbji,
Balika,
Titu...titu titu titu...
👏 👏 👏
Ekdam dhinchak likha hainre tu.
Apunko bohat accha laga re,
Bappa ne tereko bohat tarakki de, hum ye soche hain k abhise titu aisa likti hain to 20+ banke kya gajab k likhegi.
Ohhh barbs u r mind blowing.
It was a little piece of writing, but real impactful .I m sooo happy to see dutta guilty. He Had less time to feel his guilt.bohat pite the apne biwi ko.
Agar tu kahegi k tujhe likhna nehi aur , main nehi manegi.tujhe likhna hi padega.
Aur apna ikrs ff ko bhi khatam karlena bechara akela ro raha hain

Beautifully captured true essence of d story.
Here is what u made me remember.Hammie wanted to dedicate this to u, was going to make a separate post but we r doing too much tasha jap aur zyada nehi so here I m posting it..

[YOUTUBE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HoC-RvPJNO8[/YOUTUBE]
Edited by simple2joy - 8 years ago
alex1 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#3
Thank you for a wonderful start, keep going but concentrate on your studies too. Hugs, Alex
titli_314 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#4

Originally posted by: simple2joy

Baarbji,
Balika,
Titu...titu titu titu...
👏 👏 👏 haa haa mujhe sunayi diya😆
Ekdam dhinchak likha hainre tu.
Apunko bohat accha laga re,
Bappa ne tereko bohat tarakki de, hum ye soche hain k abhise titu aisa likti hain to 20+ banke kya gajab k likhegi. aap bhi na ekdam jhakas item likhti ho.. bole toh ekdam 1st class.. Aayi shapath apun ne apni zindagi ke kabhi aisa socha ich nahi tha ke Tasha ko leke story likhna itna tough hoga.. My God.. but bohot zada maza aya especially while writing the first part.. Drunk Dutta has always been irresistible ☺️
Ohhh barbs u r mind blowing.
It was a little piece of writing, but real impactful .I m sooo happy to see dutta guilty. He Had less time to feel his guilt.bohat pite the apne biwi ko.
Agar tu kahegi k tujhe likhna nehi aur , main nehi manegi.tujhe likhna hi padega.
Aur apna ikrs ff ko bhi khatam karlena bechara akela ro raha hain

yaa its a short one.. honestly i wanted to write something more but could not stretch.. Tasha chote stories mein, few words mein hi achche lagte hai😳
achcha phir kabhi koshish karungi.. but will write only for Vidha..
Oh haan mera woh FF..akele rehe reheke bechara pata nahin kahan kho gaya hai😆 I even lost the plot.. achcha dekhti hoon.. next chapter's idea dimaag mein aye toh definitely I will update


Beautifully captured true essence of d story.thanks
Here is what u made me remember.Hammie wanted to dedicate this to u, was going to make a separate post but we r doing too much tasha jap aur zyada nehi so here I m posting it..

haa haa haa🤣 what an evergreen jodi of Damad-sasur... Two bewdas of PV..😆😆 Oh I love this show in bits.. Miss ganpath and his nautankis too..😆 "ayee sethji. tu padhayi karke kya karega.. Tujhe toh bada hoke mere daroo ka dhanda sambhalna hai".. what an unique father he was🤣
Hammie ko thanks bolna.. for dediacting this to me.. She knows how much I love this show.. Loved the VM too.. really hilarious.. Mere bhau ko meri taraf se Cheers kehena😳

[YOUTUBE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HoC-RvPJNO8[/YOUTUBE]

Edited by Barbie_KK9629 - 8 years ago
titli_314 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#5

Originally posted by: alex1

Thank you for a wonderful start, keep going but concentrate on your studies too. Hugs, Alex

Thanks alex for coming here and replying.. Your comment means a lot.. and thanks for the appreciation too dear..😳
yaa my studies are going on.. struggling to get out of Mishal hangover and concentrate on my personal stuff😆😆

Hugs for you too..🤗 wish to interact with you often😊
zajedno thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#6
Barbie. I'm sorry I had not seen this. what to tell you you're one amazing girl. in addition to obligations at the university you are here and very active. congratulations. You are our pride. This is a beautiful post and Duthe is perhaps better to figure that I saw. although Viplav on his own interesanran, and here is Duthe proved to be struggling with himself and with his emotions.
Hamlet53 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#7

Solace ... barbs.. interesting imaginative piece. The bit I warmed to the most was his bottle bonding. Seeing that, I could never really pinpoint as to why Dutta drank? Was it part of a male bonding session with Baji ?was it nothing more then a daily past time activity many rich folk indulge in to unwind after a busy day? Or was It an antidote to deal with being rejected by a pretty woman? Whatever the reason was? Dutta somehow never intended to take his own life , despite the all self harm he inflicted upon himself. However he had some underlying issues.. unfortunate for him he looked for peace from a medium that failed him.. thanks for a very well written One Shot barbs. Well done for contributing to running of the forum.. regards hammie.

~DaZZ|ing~ thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#8
Barb, what a beautifully written piece! 👏 I understand how difficult it must've been to write this piece. Dutta is a very complex and layered character. You did an impressive job in keeping up with his character. The remorse he felt in his drunken state was necessary in their love story. Seeing him treat Nakku so callously on the show was difficult watch. I loved the last paragraph, Barb! ❤️ You couldn't have brought a better interpretation of Dutta's addiction to alcohol. 🤗 Please do continue your story on ViDha. I'm excited to see you bring momentum and passion to their story. 😉
pearl82 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#9
BB...very beautifully written DEAR...yes it's difficult to write about the actions with less dialogues...but u have managed to portray the state of dutta very nicely...liked it...I think nakku never doubted him or can never do it...she would have turned away and went with baji...just because she would have felt bad that dutta misunderstood her and gave her explanation to eradicate her doubts...nakku was a strong character with an unconditional love for dutta...he was also an unconditional lover but most of the time he was ignorant of it...write more whenever u r free and feel like writing...we R ready to read and enjoy it😃
NusiSg thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#10
Mje sachi main yaqeen nahi aata ss ye sab tu likhty hai..😆 yarr the flow of scene never lost.. PW ka nmber 1 bewada was doing the onli thing he's master of..😆 bt waah how u summerise his state n his being..
Its not that liquor but me who you are addicted to..😳👏⭐️

Waah waah maza aagya.. vry endearing chap u wrote ss n n yess with sharp edge finish.. the OS seems absolutely brilliant to me.. we'll assume now kese kese naku tame his lion after that. ..😉 dun worry that's wat I'm reading nowadays in my pass time😆. . very well written ss n u kno na I'm proud of u.. sorry for being late here..again..🤢
Edited by NusiSg - 8 years ago

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