Hi Nyna,
I am falling in love with your writings. Last I came across a word without a translation to English was Viju's Saudade. This piece is also in the same league for me. I can't decide whether you wrote to justify the title or the title inspired you to write this.
You have brought a good point that though this chance of retrospection is given to everyone, very few hold the courage to take it and make amends. It's always difficult to admit one's mistakes, however life after that apology is beautiful.
The introductory paragraph faintly reminds me of my SS, Ignorant Crossroads. The fate and future of four people intertwined to the extent that only word that fits that knot is Complicated. I would consider Sanskaar and Lakshya to be siblings and hold no offense as you have indicated in your footnote. Sanskaar had always been better brother to Lakshya than Adarsh had ever been. A relation of heart that fulfilled duties of a relation of blood.
---
Realisation
I am a fan of alliterations. They are jewels that help to make an impact so hard that it hits the heart and mind and stays there for a while. Dreams that died, dreams that were killed, dreams that had been broken. Aptly suits the mind Sanskaar is surviving on.
For Sanskaar, DP and AP hold places above his biological parents. He had always yearned for their love and affection and most of all, he wanted them to be proud of him. While they do, he is right, rather you were right in pointing out that they favored their blood over heart.
When it came to his parents, since the start, they had favored heart over blood. I can't help but feel sympathetic towards Sanskaar for having parents who would go against him for others. This dream was definitely bitter on tongue and what's worse is he would have to live with that fact all his life.
While Adarsh and Sanskaar never clashed until evil took over Adarsh's soul, it was Lakshya who had time and again hurt him yet sought for his shelter when things went worse; except for the recent encounter.
I personally liked the connection between Ragini and Sanskaar as they understood the other in a way their beloved life partners never did. Even when Lakshya went missing, I don't think Ragini ever blamed Sanskaar. (I am not sure as I missed some bits in those episodes)
It was surprising that you brought Kavita on this list. Then again, it's only apt that Sanskaar think of his first love and how wrong it went. I personally feel the CVs killed that character, otherwise there was great potential in that track, may be even drill some trust in Swara for Sanskaar.
Time and again, I come across this picture of Swara raising from a pawn to the Queen in Sanskaar's board of chess. I suppose I will never get tired of reading this because that's how their story started. He fell for her. She glided to the realization of love. He had always apologized even though he was correct in his own perception, yet for love, he let go. However, he was still left to prove his steel on his own.
I think Sanskaar is one character with such depth for he had turned to so many people for that unconditional love only to be placed on waiting list as the rest of the world was more important than him.
---
Remorse
With the character Lakshya portrays, I can't imagine him ever trying to find out where he went wrong. Remorse, he might feel but it doesn't take much for that sprinkle to turn into something else in seconds.
Again, Kavya was a surprise. But I am not complaining as I am glad to read the line, Lakshya reinforcing that he was right. Atleast he has a balance of right or wrong, albeit based on his own theory. (I will apologize once more as I didn't watch the Kavya track but knew the gist of the story)
The relationship between Lakshya and Swara was more of an infatuation and as you rightfully wrote, it withered under poisonous air of mistrust.
Another surprise, Uttara. I scrolled up to see if I missed Uttara in Sanskaar's retrospection. But no I didn't find her there. Uttara herself had been closer to Lakshya as Sanskaar voiced in one of the episodes. I am glad (sadist me!) that Lakshya realizes, he killed the innocence of his sister.
Lakshya had a good bond with his mom at the start, to the extent that she had extended that love to Ragini and forgave her charades like the camera in SwaSan room.
My favorite scene of the brothers is when Lakshya apologizes to Sanskaar and talks about Katti-Batti. Sanskaar treated him like his baby brother always quick to rescue him only to be blamed by Lakshya for rescuing him.
Ragini is the only one who found Lakshya to be perfect. He trusted her at every point, even above his family members. Ragini is the perfect example that everything Lakshya touches, dies. He liked her innocence and his love killed that.
---
Regret
While I saw remorse in Lakshya, I see no regret in Swara. And probably that's the way she is. For her, everything is a mission and she has to accomplish it. I will be happy if even one line of Swara showcases what you have written here, there is nothing absolutely wrong, just different levels of right.
Sharmishta was a mom we can imagine a girl like Swara Bose to have. Loving, caring and at the same time taking a stern look at her mistakes. I agree that there is no longer that bond between them.
While Sharmishta willingly gave everything Swara asked for, Shekhar has only asked sacrifices of her. She is still apprehensive of his love in long term. This reminds me, didn't she put Sanskaar in the same position? Wonder when she will realize the true worth.
Thank you for at least planting that doubt from Swara. She is in love with the fancy relationship of a sister, not Ragini herself. At times, Swara can stand against her father, but Ragini, never.
Similar to Ragini, Swara was only infatuated with idea of love, not Lakshya himself. Thanks for this too. Swara needs to get her cards together and introspect her love for the ideas rather than people.
Sanskaar was the only pillar who always supported Swara and thank goodness she realizes that. You have portrayed that their difference in defining love had led to them parting ways. Here I would like to add that, while Swara raised from a pawn to the Queen on his board, she reduced him from the King to a pawn in her board. Like the pawn is the first to get killed in battlefield, Swara had cut him out and walked out of his life every time.
---
Reluctance
Ah.. The magic of triads. Love that swept through her heart, set her mind on fire and burnt her soul. I still wonder after year and a half of Swaragini, whether Ragini loves Lakshya or just wants what was initially hers.
Maybe because of that different perspective, I don't think Swara is Ragini's need. I do agree that while Ragini was ready to share her family, she couldn't bear the thought of losing her love.
Sharmishta and Ragini are like balance. Ragini would first hurt her then soothe her only to hurt her again. You have put the twinkle of remorse in Ragini for the kidnapping drama, this gives me hope that Ragini might after all try to find the mother she never sought.
Sanskaar was the one to understand her twisted mind. It is surprising that she doesn't blame him for her descent and that's pleasant to read.
What Dadi is to Ragini, DP is to Sanskaar. They want their approval. I am glad that Ragini finally realizes that her support in her mania wasn't her love, but hatred.
Lakshya had taught her to dream and then quickly shattered them. One thing is true, that without Lakshya, Ragini has lost her strength.
---
Retrospection
I like the metaphor of Swara as gold, beaten thin by demands. Darkness is a word synonymous to Sanskaar.
Finally I see Swara realizing what she left back at the Maheshwari mansion. Swara had made the choices before he gave her the options. So her blaming him for making her choose doesn't sit well with me.
Ragini reluctantly deciding to let him go, is a scene I wish for in the show. The listing of her crimes have outed the mark where 'I love him' would be a plausible reason.
The cherry on the cake, Lakshya realizing what Ragini means in his life. I really hope this time they come together, he holds her while she let him free.
---
Nyna, this was sheer brilliance and kudos to your efforts on research and edits and presentation. (You have inspired me to use my edits for my next FF.)
Keep writing such brilliant work!
Cheers
Sharon
Edited by Sparkler8 - 8 years ago
Veer Hanuman
Kumkum Bhagya
