Posted:
Hi Friends,
I had written Perilous Pursuit on the spur. I wanted to see how such extreme scenario would play out.
Though it received mixed reactions from you, I felt the concept left a bitter taste after reading it. To make it up for that and also for all those who liked the written script of it and would like to read an alternative plot, here I present to you, Pedantic Pardon.
Here, my reference to Pedantic is in the context of overreacting perfectionist, concerned with minor details. And as an alternative to the punishment in the previous OS, this write-up will completely focus on how each forgives the other, hence Pardon.
Since I find that Swara has a long gap to cross to ask and receive pardon, SwaSan form the major part of the story.
Hope you will enjoy reading.
P.S. The banner is my amateur effort at using a new app. I am comfortable with single picture edits however, this is new to me. As usual, the pics are from YouTube and Google.
Cheers
Sharon
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Swara stared out of the window at the rain drops pelting on the leaves. It's been 10 months that she walked out of her home. It would have been their second anniversary from their first wedding. A wedding which wasn't witnessed by her Ma and Baba. A wedding that culminated as her Ma was held at gunpoint by Ragini.
"If you insult my feelings, I will not let you off." Sanskaar had warned her for the first time. She had been recipient of that warning for a number of times after that. But never took them seriously. Now they rang in her ears like a harbinger of her present situation.
What triggered those memories was the faintly audible song playing in the courtyard as Ragini choreographed the bride and groom's first Dance. "Ishq Wala Love" was a song Sanskaar hummed through his merry moods. Whenever she questioned his craze for the twisted lyrics, he would tell her with a confident smile that brought glint in his eyes, "Tum tab samjogi jab tumhe Ishq Wala Love hoga". They were still in the best friends zone then and she quickly dismissed the notion unaware that he was the definition of her Ishq Wala Love.
Amidst a zillion problems, she had been glad for Sanskaar's unwavering, unyielding, unspoken support. After her fight, she would turn back and find her Prince waiting on her. She revelled in that kind of attention. She had grown used to it. Today, when she turned back, she only found the broken relationships.
A sudden yearning took over her. She shivered, probably due to the cold wind blowing through the storm. The air felt chilled and her heart cold. If Sanskaar was here, he would have chided her for opening the windows and exposing herself to chilled air. He would ask how can she harm herself willingly.
---
He did. As he watched the swirl of wind cutting through the rain strands, he thought of Swara standing right there, opening the window to watch the rain, to feel the sprinkles on her face. She would dance in ecstasy as if the rain cast a spell on her, and the next day he had to face a flu-stricken Swara unable to string two sentences without punctuating them with her coughs. It tore his heart to watch his love feeling any magnitude of pain.
One may ask how he could let Swara walk out on him when he loved her to that extent. He always justified his subconscious that it was she who made the choice and pushed him into this tornado of hatred. However his subconscious was a clever one. It pricked him day in day out that he had lost the meaning of love while trying to comply to his definitions.
Surkh wala, Soz wala, Faiz wala love. A love that colored you, burned you and raised you for your alternate soul. Swara had filled his life with the color of her vibrant personality and amber heart. He had willingly carved his heart out for her to hold it. The first shimmer of love was kindled from her altruism to cross any obstacle for her loved one's happiness.
"Sanskaar, do you know what is Ishq Wala Love?" His mind flashed the question.
Loving unconditionally, beyond pain and suffering, crossing all limits of sanity. That was his love for Swara. Or was it his convulsant interpretation? He loved her for placing others over her own choices. Now is it fitting for him to claim she must choose him over another family member's solitary?
Loving unconditionally, that part has gone right out of the window when he demanded her trust in return of his love. Swara dealt in facts, not emotions. She wanted a family comprising of a mother, a father, a sister and she shall have it for her determination. She wasn't particular on the kind of person she wanted in that role. That's the reason, she still believed Ragini to be her sister.
So what is Ishq Wala Love?
---
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own. Sanskaar had always practiced that. He would say, his happiness lies in her. Then why did she leave him in such despair? Between husband and sister, she had chosen her sister because she felt she needed her. Doesn't that apply to him as well? Watching her sister cry, she was tormented. Then why did she place Sanskaar through a torture where, she was away from him and the brother he had held so close, too was away from him?
Thinking back to the past 10 months, probably they would have found Lakshya by now if only had they combined their efforts and stayed the support system they have always been for each other.
---
Love is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person. Swara had always practiced that. She always took the right path, above everything else. That was her imperfection. That was what jostled him to fall so hard for her. Then why did he not understand her stance? Swara felt that he had wronged Ragini under the assumption that Lakshya left because of him. As his wife, she felt the need to make amends on his behalf. Isn't that one of the basic principles that made Swara Bose? Then why did he demand she choose him against her character that was the reason of his love for her?
Thinking back to the past 10 months, probably they would have built the faith in each other by staying together at difficult times and completed their imperfect selves.
---
Sanskaar received a call that Lakshya's phone was tracked at Swara's Baadi. He flew there at lightning speed hoping that Lakshya had managed to return and was there for Ragini. However his hopes were dashed as he made acquaintance with Nikhil, Swara's childhood friend. He was adamant on not letting the police to check his belongings. He caught this new entry by collar and in a furious tone, said, "My brother's phone has been tracked to this place and you are the one who just entered this place. So if you cooperate, it would be better for you, otherwise you will see the worst side of me."
"Sanskaar! Leave him. He just landed in India. Why are you threatening him?" Swara rushed to the spot of happenings.
"Lakshya's phone has been traced here and he doesn't want us to check his bag." Sanskaar complained.
"Nikhil, if you haven't done anything wrong, why don't you let them check? And if the phone is traced here, the police should check the whole Baadi."
Sanskaar wondered if Swara took the wrong medicine or was down with flu due to the rain. For once in the past gruelling months, she agreed with him and was making it easier for him. Before his hopes flew high, he disciplined them by reminding himself, Swara dealt in facts and stood on the right side of balance. That's why she asked the whole Baadi to be checked.
---
Few months later, Swara received a call from Sanskaar that Lakshya was spotted in a car at a village in the outskirts of Kolkata. When Swara insisted she join him for the trip to that village, Sanskaar didn't object. Swara finally saw his efforts rather than pinning him down under the boulder of guilt that he always broke his promises. She needed Sanskaar in all his strength to have any chances of finding Lakshya, because when everybody gave up, Sanskaar would stand up taller, pull up his sleeves, set about finding a new solution.
In the rustic setting, their search once again came to null. Swara threw a fit of anger as all their efforts ended in void.
"What's happening? Why is every clue we have, ending up being waste of time?" Swara leaned against the bonnet of the car.
Sanskaar passed her a water bottle. She took it. He gestured her to drink. She refused. He snatched the bottle back, unscrewed it and placed it near her mouth. She silently took a sip and held the bottle once again.
"It's okay, Swara. I am sure there is some way to find him." He consoled her.
Swara was touched by his conviction. Without much thought, the words rolled out of her lips, "I am sorry, Sanskaar. If only we had searched like this from the start, we would have found Lakshya by now."
"Why today? " Sanskaar asked.
"Because I have realised that in the past one year, no matter how much you showcased your hatred for me, your love for me is clear in your eyes and it has not diminished by any part. I was blinded to this love by my sister's tears. But once they have dried, I realised what I had lost."
"It was your choice, Swara. Now you want to get back with me. A month later something else will happen and the history will repeat. "
"No. Not again. Not ever. I will learn to trust you but without you, I don't have any confidence to face the obstacles. You are my strength, Sanskaar. "
---
Sanskaar fell in a dilemma whether to confess his take. By that, he also owed an apology to Swara. However, it wasn't easy on him to grant her pardon.
"Do you remember I asked you to not change when we had exposed Ragini? I will ask the same of you today. Don't change for my sake."
Sanskaar opened the passenger side door. "I will trust you one more time for that's what love is all about for me. Just don't put our relationship on mortgage for someone else's happiness."
Swara hugged him. "I love you, Sanskaar." When disnt respond, she sat inside the car and Sanskaar closed the door for her.
He came over to the wheel and said before starting the car, "I know you want to give people justice. When you embarked on that mission, you broke me, Swara. You have ahead a hectic task of piecing me back together before you can hear that response you want."
---
Another year passed before they actually found Lakshya. As a convict in drug trafficking case, in the police station, in an unconscious state. While the inspector used harsh means to bring Lakshya to his senses, Swara held on the Sanskaar wrist tightly. His own fingers were digging into his palms as he watched the cruel methods of the police. If not for Swara's hold, he would have torn the inspector apart for putting Lakshya through such pain.
When Lakshya came to his senses, Sanskaar completed all the formalities for him to be released in parole. Lakshya confessed to succumbing to drugs but he never involved in the business. His statement facilitated the process. They brought him to the Maheshwari mansion.
As they alighted from the car, Ragini rushed to Lakshya and hugged him. Her happiness showed in the form of tears as she walked by his side into the house. It felt like the whole house woke from a comatose state and filled with joy of Lakshya's return.
After the initial excitement died down, Ragini asked why he left in the first place. Lakshya hesitated to answer. His mother prompted him once again. Sanskaar himself was apprehensive to hear the answer.
Lakshya seemed to lose himself in thought. In moments, he screamed demanding for the drugs. Sanskaar denied him and pleaded him to curb his addiction for his family's sake. Ragini decided to drop the topic before everyone else.
---
Once in the confines of their room, Ragini patted Lakshya to sleep but it wasn't what he wanted. Thinking fast, Ragini struck a deal. "Lakshya, I will bring you what you want. But I really need to know why you left on that day."
"Promise? " Lakshya asked to confirm.
"Promise."
"I left because of Sanskaar. Now when are you going to get me my drugs? I am getting irritated here."
Ragini injected the anaesthesia the doctor had recommended for Lakshya to avoid drugs. He dozed asleep.
---
Ragini fell in a dilemma of what to do. She worried for Swara's reaction if she knew Lakshya mentioned Sanskaar as the reason.
As for her own relationship, her meaning of love was simply to feel loved. She decided to try her hand at a fresh start. She had tiny voice in her head pointing out that Lakshya had left her to misery without thinking of her. She hushed it easily by countering that she had always forgiven Lakshya as long as he loved her. This time, she would teach him how to love her and that would also help treat his addiction.
True to her decision, Ragini stayed by Lakshya's side as he went through numerous amount of counselling sessions. Lakshya took to her well, which came as a relief for her. Slowly they restarted their relationship from ground zero.
---
A couple of months later, the topic haunted back in the Maheshwari family. This time, Ragini tried to change the topic, but Sanskaar was adamant in knowing.
Just like before, Lakshya named Sanskaar.
The situation tensed as Sanskaar glanced at Swara. He expected some kind of reaction from her and prayed to the Gods above watching his plight, to not let Swara walk out of his life again.
Swara went forward to Lakshya and asked him another question. "How did you involve in drugs?"
Lakshya answered this time with no hesitation. "I was coming back home the next day. I gave lift to a thief and he left me on the roadside stealing my car and wallet. When I woke, I tried hitchhiking, but ended up in a lorry transporting drugs. Those people were afraid that I would expose them. So they fed me these drugs in different forms. Before I knew it, I was addicted to them."
The whole puzzle was finally solved and Ragini breathed easy wondering, why she never asked the further story before that day. She chalked it to her oversight in the joy of getting Lakshya back.
---
Lakshya paced in his room thinking of the past 2 years. He didn't know what his family had gone through. Ragini had briefly summarised to him the feud between Swara and Sanskaar and how they reconciled their differences.
He was more worried about Ragini though he never voiced to her. She was the one person who loved him, good and bad, with nothing and with all, in sickness and in health. He tried to decipher what was her love that she accepted everything he did and forgave him almost immediately even before he asked for it.
In return, all she asked was "love me". For the two years of separation and many more times he had hurt her, it was a sweet price to pay. She taught him her interpretation of love, and going by that he realised he was luckiest guy in the world to be loved against all odds.
---
Ragini found Lakshya deep in his thoughts. She reminded him of his counseling session in an hour. He asked her to listen to him before that. "I am sorry Ragini for what I have put you through. I know that I have wronged you many times yet you were quick to forgive me. Show that faith in me one more time. I promise to stay by your side and love you forever."
Ragini was at loss of words. She had yearned to listen to these words since she realized her love for him. She threw her arms over his shoulders in reply and hugged him.
---
Swara was watching the sunset from her room. She heard the door open and close. It was Sanskaar. An year ago, he had allowed her to shift back to her home. Yet he never extended the love she once took for granted. We miss something only after it is taken away from us. She missed that care now.
She lived in this room for an year with him as a stranger. She grew envious of those times he willingly gave her the right to stay there while he took the guest room. She missed the much earlier times when he was trying to make it up to her for his wrong deeds towards her. She wondered if her efforts would match even half of his then. Only time would tell her.
She didn't have to wait for long, as she felt two arms snake around her waist pulling her back into most comfortable place for her in the world. Her eyes drooped close relieved of finally being home, that place she belonged to, where she had no care for what the future held. "I am sorry, Shona." The words came in a whisper. The breath against her ear warmed her soul.
Soon, the words sunk in and her eyes flew open. She glanced at him over her shoulder. "Yes Shona. I had asked of you something that's very wrong in my books. Asking the person I love to change for me. I know how important it is for you to not let anything wrong happen around you. Yet I demanded of you to leave the very trait that makes you. I am really sorry." Sanskaar pressed a kiss to her temple.
"Sanskaar..."
"Shhh.. Shona, I love you."
Swara turned in his arms and buried herself into his embrace. "I love you too, Sanskaar."
Ufff Yeh Love Hai Mushkil
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