Hi Guys, I am Ani, fairly new here. I would like to mention I love writing but I am no where close to a writer. So please forgive me for mistakes, if any.
This is my first OS here.
Few things to mention are, I am biased towards Sanskar and I am sorry, I can't help it. So this OS does not completely justifies what actually has happened and happening in the show. You can consider this as my frustration on Swara as I totally am unable to understand her behavior in the serial. Its not that Sanskar is completely right in his place, but for me Swara is more...WRONG.
Before going to the shot, a brief backstory is, everything settled down and Swara has realized her mistakes and most important thing, I have a very bad case of Hindi but still almost all dialogues are in Hindi, so please consider thatđ
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Punishment
Sanskar's fixed figure, lost in staring at his mobile screen startled as his heart alarmed him about her unexpected appearance. He immediately pressed the off button, of the phone clutched in the palm of his right hand. Her feet stopped right in front of him. His eyes blinked few times, as he turned his face looking in every possible direction except her, with a firm hold on his phone as if was trying to hide it from her.
"Kya dekh rahe the? Tasveero me kaid hamari yaade?" she asked, knowing the unsaid words of his heart. Since that fateful day when she left him to stay alone in the Maheshwari Mansion, he never felt like he was alive. And even if he was, he was soul-less without his soul, who chose to walk out of his life by announcing clearly that she would not come back till Laksh comes back. Laksh Maheshwari, beloved husband of Ragini Maheshwari, her sister who never ever put Swara or anyone else above her love, for whom her love was the top most priority, who even tried killing her own sister for sake of her love, who even went on accusing her brother-in-law for fake molestation just for her love, had went missing after his and Sanskar's fight and Mrs. Swara Sanskar Maheshwari had once again held Sanskar Maheshwari responsible, loosening her trust on him...and this time for Laksh's disappearance.
The unshakable trust and faith which she had in Sanskar even before falling in love with him, when Ragini had made him incriminated for molesting her which led to her firm support for him that time. It seemed like slowly dwindling after that. Before, she had doubted him for Ragini's kidnapping when he was only protecting HER.
Sanskar almost had unsettled after getting abandoned by Swara. She had once entered in his life, bringing him out of his dark shadows, becoming his friend and apparently soul-mate but she pushed him again in the dark lanes of his life before six months by withdrawing her presence from his life.
She let her eyes lingered on his form which had stiffened on her entry. His eyes that usually reflected happiness seeing her... that used to twinkle with endless love, were now devoid of any emotion. The grown up beard had snatched that boyish charm from him, making him look much older. It seemed like his life travelled from few days to years in such short span of time. Her throat clogged with the pain she saw in his eyes. Controlling the anguish cry arising from her heart, seeing the broken man standing in front of her and moreover because she was the sole responsible reason for his state.
"Ab kya chahti ho Swara?" anyone at her place, would have flinched at his tone and ran away being scared of the steel look in his eyes but Swara knew better. She could still see the pain behind his anger. She could still see he was rather tired of everything than angry at her.
"Kuch janana chahti hu" her breaking voice shuddered him for a moment. No matter what happened between them but he still couldn't see her in pain, be it because of him or anyone else. "Aakhri bar" she added more, to make it specific to him. He wondered what she meant by the last time' but he had no strength to converse with her on that. Little did he knew, where it would end up.
"Kya janana chahti ho? Ke tumhare bina kab tak zinda reh paaunga?" he couldn't help taunting her. She felt ground slipping off her feet, when his words rang in her ears.
"If I say sorry and apologise for everything, will you be able to forgive and accept me back?" without wasting any more time, she came to the point she had come to meet him for. He was stunned. More than her words, the hollowness in between her words, and the unsaid pauses in her sentence hit him hard.
"Haan" he answered without having thought over it twice.
She knew it. She knew it. She could never even doubt on that. He had loved her in a way no one else ever could. He would always choose to trust her, love her and forgive her despite of how many and how severe mistakes she does because that's how his love is. His love isn't helpless. He is not bound to do that but he had always and will always choose to do that.
A smile came on her lips but a bitter one. She felt everything blur around her and before she could understand anything, she lost her self balance. Like always, he was there to hold her before she could fall down. He patted her cheek, "Swara, Swara"
She wasn't fully unconscious. Somehow gathering strength, she got off him, standing with her own support. Her fainting was nothing but the result of not eating from few days since the time she realized what actually she had done. It probably was her way of punishing herself. "Are you okay? What happened?" he asked sounding way too impatient to hear her reply. His care for her once again made her realize many things like how different his and her love was. She also had seen pain in him when she left him but she still chose to ignore it, better not let that emotions overpower her senses. But with him, things were drastically different. Be he himself in pain or anything else, he could never ever ignore her or anything related to her.
"That's not important" she said ignoring his concerned tone. "For me it is! So you better say, what's the case?" he let her know, sticking to his firm tone. It was well evident, she still mattered him the most. Deep inside, her happiness had flood with his love and care but at the same moment she knew that she does not deserve it.
"So I asked you, if I apologise then will you forgive and accept me and your answer is yes, right?" she preferred getting to her point, ignoring his question once again. He nodded silently. Though, she had given him immense pain, had almost broke him in pieces but he was still willing to give her a chance of picking up his pieces and stick them together. Somewhere, his heart was smiling thinking probably it was the end of his miseries but little he knew, it was going to bring another tragedy in his life.
"Then I will never say sorry to you. Then I will never apologise" Swara stared into his eyes for a while before she said as if she might would not get the chance of looking in them again. He couldn't understand first but when he did, it shook him inside out as he thought of the possible meaning behind her words.
She showed him her palm, when he opened his mouth to say something, "Let me speak today. Family ki aehmiat kya hoti hai, ye mujhse behtar koi nahi jaanta. Isliye maine hamesha iss parivaar ko jode rakhne ki koshish ki, sab galat ko sahi karne ki koshish ki lekin sab kab iss tarah bikhar gaya, pata hi nahi chala. Aur inn sab me, maine realise hi nahi kiya, ki kab mai uss rishte ke sath itna galat kar baithi, jiske vajah se mai inn baki rishto se, iss parivaar se judi thi...pata nahi kaise, lekin mai uss insaan ke sath itna galat kar baithi, jisne meri zindagi me hamesha har cheez sahi hi ki. Mai galat thi...galat thi jab maine tumhari kasam todi...galat thi jab maine tumse cheeje chupai...galat thi jab maine tumhe puri baat batana jaroori nahi samjha, ye soch ke tum shayad nahi samjhoge jab ki sirf tumne...sirf tumne mujhe mujhse behtar samjha hai...galat thi jab maine Laksh ke jaane ke liye tumhe doshi mana...kaise, kaise bhul gayi mai ke mai tumhe jin logo ke dukh ke liye jimedar thehra rahi hu, wo tumhare bhi utane hi apne the, shayad usse kahi jada tumare apne the...kaise bhul gayi mai, ke jin logo ke aasuon ka jimedar maine tume thehraya, tum unki khushi ke liye kisi bhi had tak jaa sakte ho...galat thi jab mai Ragini ko support karne ke liye, iss ghar ko, tumhe chod kar gayi...galat thi mai...sirf aur sirf galat thi Sanskar...
Jo maine tumhare sath kiya hai, na mai uske liye khud ko maaf kar sakti hu...aur na mai chahti hu ki tum mujhe maaf karo...Jo maine kiya hai, uske liye mai kuch bhi kar lu, kuch bhi kafi nahi hai...Mai jaanti hu tum mujhse kitna pyar karte ho aur yakeen maano pyar to mai bhi tumse bohot karti hu, lekin shayad tumhare jitna nahi...tumhare jaisa nahi.
Aur jaise ki tumne pehle kaha tha ke bina bharose ka rishta tumhare liye koi maayne nahi rakhta...maine ek galti ki thi jab maine Ragini ki kidnapping ke waqt tum par bharosa nahi kiya aur tab maine tumse kaha tha ke mai fir kabhi ye nahi karungi...But I failed. I failed Sanskar. I again made the very same mistake and when the same mistake is repeated twice, it doesn't remain mistake but it becomes crime...purposefully did crime. I have committed a sin Sanskar by pushing you in lanes of darkness. I let you suffer for those mistakes which actually you haven't even done. And now it's my turn.
Agar kabhi khud ko maaf kar paayi, to tumhare pass jaroor lautungi. Bye Sanskar. Apna khayal rakhna. Tumne kaha tha na ke mai dua se tumhari kismat me aayi hu...hamesha yaad rakhna, tum hamesha meri dua me rahoge, har pal, har saans me"
And she left, leaving her love, life and soul there without turning back. No punishment could be more severe for her than to live a life without her life. His eyes kept staring at her retreating back till she vanished from his sight. His life took an absolutely unexpected turn in few minutes. She had left him earlier also, but that time he at least knew where she was and more, he knew that she was well and fine but now he would have no idea about her and her self realisation gave him a glimpse about how hard she was going to be on her. His mistakes weren't ignored by him nor did he ever try running from them. He well aware was of where and how wrong he was and the punishment which Swara decided for herself...he also was going to burn in the same punishment. The wrongs done by both of them, the way they failed to protect their relationship from getting destroyed because of other things would meant to bring them there only, where they were standing today. They both have insulted their love in different ways. Neither he could say anything nor could he do anything. He knew loving her wasn't easy, being with her wasn't simple but what he didn't know was, it would led their lives at a point where their love would become the cause of their miserable lives. They must reduce to ashes, burning every that thing, which directly or indirectly had contributed in ruining their love to again create the magic, their love used to be and one day, they surely would make it out.
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I would love to hear your thoughts from you all about this shot, if you liked it even a bit. As I said earlier also, this is illogical in many ways but couldn't help it. Every sort of comments are welcome, positive and negative as wellđ
- Ani
Bigg Boss 19
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
